The Devil knows my Name

For few days after the incident Jackie still didn’t say a word. She was curled up in a rocking chair under the bedroom window and Ginger worried. He had never seen her so broken and messed up. John must have traumatized her for life. When Marilyn had heard about that, he had gotten so angry that he had tracked down John and given him a piece of his mind.

Ginger crouched in front of her and rested his head in her lap and hugged her waist. Apocalyptica was playing on the background because he knew Jackie would go crazy if the room were silent. He wanted her back. He wanted her little Jackie but he was afraid she was already lost for him.

“Jackie, I love you whatever happens,” he murmured and closed his eyes. He must have fallen asleep because slender fingers combing his hair awaked him. He looked up and saw Jackie looking at him. Her eyes were focused again and it seemed she was starting to come out of the shock.

“Jackie?” he dared to ask and reached up to touch her cold face. She was sad and broken but the life was coming back into her.

“Oh, love,” he said and couldn’t hide his happiness. He stood up and kissed her lips tenderly. Jackie tried to smile and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered and tried to stand up. Ginger helped her and pulled her against his long frame.

“For what?” he asked and hugged her.

“For scaring you all like that,” she said and tiptoed to kiss him. Ginger was confused of why she was apologizing when John should have been the one.

“I think I’ll freshen myself up before I meet Ville Valo in the studio,” she added and slipped from his grasp to go the bathroom. Ginger watched her go and sat on the bed. Finally she was talking again but all she could think was her work and other people. She had no time for herself. He heard the water running but not the splashing. He got curious and went to check on her.

“Jackie!” he screamed and rushed under the shower where she lay in the bloody water. “What have you done? Oh, God, Jackie! Look at me! Jackie!”

She was gone. Ginger cried when he looked at her bleeding wrists and the razor he used. The water was cascading over her naked body and washing away the evidence.

“Oh, God,” he panicked and turned off the water and threw a bathrobe over her. The cuts were deep and the blood was still gushing and tainting the robe crimson. He carried her back to the bedroom and set her lying on the bed.

“Jackie, please don’t die. I need you,” he begged and wrapped clean towels around her wrists to stop the bleeding. With hurry he called 911 and waited next to her, trying to wake her up. She was so pale and cold. He could barely feel her pulse that was fading.
***
The smell of the clinically clean hospital awoke Jackie. At first she was disoriented but a warm hand in hers gave her something to concentrate on. Slowly she opened her eyes and saw the white face of Marilyn Manson looking at her. His black hair shadowed his features a bit when he leaned closer.

“I wouldn’t have guessed that you had it in you,” he said and kissed her forehead. Hazily she saw a figure of a blond young woman standing behind him. That must have been Evan Rachel Wood, a young plaything. She was glaring at Jackie but didn’t dare to say anything. Jackie had been a close friend of Marilyn’s longer that she had been his lover.

“Coming back is the hardest thing,” said Jackie and gave a faint squeeze to his hand before he slipped away.

“Ginger wants to see you,” he said and left the room with his young mistress. Jackie tried to sit up but her head was pounding. And true to his words, Ginger soon came to her. He looked so horrified and worried when he sat on the edge of her bed and said how much he loved her and how happy he was that she was alive. Tears were running down his cheeks when he hugged her and hold her close to him.

“I love you with all of my heart, Kenny,” she whispered to his ear and kissed his neck. Ginger didn’t let go of her because he was afraid to loose her again.

“Why did you do it?” he asked quietly and smothered her with his sweet kisses.

“I wanted to forget all that has happened,” she whispered and Ginger looked at her with puzzlement. He wasn’t quite sure what she meant with this. Jackie looked into his big dark eyes and smiled sadly. His ragged hair with darker and lighter highlights made him look like he had spent the last days in the hospital’s waiting room.

“What, my love?” he asked with concern and cupped her pale face with both hands, admiring how pretty she looked even after the near death experience.

“I’m not worthy of your love,” she said quietly and tears started to pool in her hazel eyes.

“What are you talking about?” he asked and feared the worst that she was going to break up with him.

“I don’t know how to say this without hurting you,” she started and Ginger took a sharp breath to prepare for the blow. “John has been persuading me for weeks now and…”

“What?” he asked to make her continue. He had suspected that much when he had found John with her. Marilyn had beaten some answers out of him also but he wanted to hear it from her.

“He thinks that you don’t love me for real,” she said and started to cry. Ginger stared at her in shock.

“What?! I love you more that anything in this world,” he said a bit angrily and stared at her. “How can you think otherwise?”

“I… uh,” she sniffed and covered her face with her hands. White bandages covered her wrists. It had taken 27 stitches to close her cuts.

“I’m stupid and… I’ll understand if you don’t want anything to do with me after what has happened between me and John.”

Ginger glared at her and the anger started to boil inside him. What had happened between her and John? Had she cheated on him and slept with that bleached kid?

“What happened then between you and him?” he asked rather coldly. Jackie started to tell honestly about every counter she had had with John without leaving anything out. She didn’t like lying to Ginger.

John had said to Marilyn that anything serious hadn’t happened between him and her although he had wanted to. Marilyn wasn’t quite satisfied with that answer but trusted him enough. When Ginger had heard about that, he had lost his mind for a second. He had thought she’d leave him for a younger man. And now he was listening her story that only backed up John’s story. She was sobbing and scaring that he’d dump her and she was ready for that.

“You probably hate me now,” she said in the end.

“No, I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I wish you’d have come to me when he started to harass you,” he said softly and Jackie looked up in surprise. Why wasn’t he yelling at her? Why wasn’t he accusing her in cheating?

“I was afraid and embarrassed,” she confessed and wiped away her tears. Ginger chuckled and grabbed her into another hug.

“Oh, sometimes you are stupid,” he said and kissed her and grinned. Jackie looked at him and tried to read his face.

“Does it mean… that… you’ll forgive me?” she asked.

“There is nothing to forgive, my love,” he said, “You didn’t do anything wrong. But next time please tell me when some bloke is bothering you.”

“Oh, Ginger, I love you!” she yelped and kissed him.