night time talks

Carrie's pov





Flashback.





Carrie's heart beat fiercely in her chest as she followed her mom and dad into the living room. Dinner had been awful and now the idea of confessing to something they were probably going to hate was making Carrie ill.



'So what's on your mind dear?.......' Carrie watched her father pour them all a glass of wine.



'Well...it's.....it's something I've been wanting to tell you guys since.....since a while now.,........' Carrie focused on the glass in her hand, knowing if she looked at either one of her parents she would back out.



'It seems serious........' Carrie could hear the worry in her mothers voice. 'Your not sick or anything are you?........' Her mother always had to jump to the worst possible thing.



'I'm not sick........'



'Is it a happy thing?.......'



'Well.......'Carrie looked up to see her fathers questioning eyes. 'I'm pretty happy about it.........but...well you and mom might not be........'



'Pregnant?....'



'Daddy......'Carrie sighed. 'I'm not pregnant.......'



'OK so your not sick and your not pregnant..........have you met someone?.......' Carrie's mother almost whispered the last part as Carrie looked at her. 'I take that as a yes.........' Carrie could only nod.



'Is that it?......You've met someone......my god I thought it was serious.......' Carrie's father was up on his feet running his hand over his head. 'You had me worried there........'



'Stephan........'Carrie kept her eyes on her mother as she spoke. 'Would you give Carrie and I a moment alone....please........'



'Yea yea...i get it......you want to know the gushy stuff.........'Carrie's father bent down kissing the top of his daughters hair. 'I'm happy for you baby........'



'Thanks Daddy.......'



'Just make sure he's warned........tell him I own a gun........' Carrie listened for her father closing the door before she let out a small groan. She had wanted to explain everything to them, tell them exactly who she was in love with. The longer it was going on without them knowing the harder it was for her to admit to it.



'Carrie sweetie.........' Carrie could feel her mother sitting down beside her on the sofa. 'It's nothing to worry about,......i think it's great that you've found someone.........'



'It's not that simple mom/......'Carrie let out another groan as her mother wrapped her arm around her shoulder.



'Love is never simple........'



'Mom......'



'No listen Carrie......you've came all this way for one night to tell us your seeing someone.......it must be pretty serious.........'



'It is......'Carrie smiled without realizing cause her mother to tighten the grip she had on her shoulder.



'And your happy I see.......' Carrie nodded. 'And.......this person......they're a nice person?..........' Carrie nodded again. 'And good to you?......'



'Yes........'



'And is this person famous?........' Another nod. ' I know them?........'



'Mom.......' Carrie turned to look at her mother. 'Your not saying he.........' Carrie watched her mother smile lightly.



'I'm trying not to push you sweetie..........i want you to say it in your own words ......and your own time.......' Carrie's mother held both her daughters hands in her own. Giving them a tight squeeze she nodded for Carrie to speak.



'Mom........' Carrie let out a nervous laugh. 'Mom.........'



'Do it your way.......'Carole whispered, leaving a soft kiss on the side of Carrie's head.



'I'm gay mom.......'Carrie closed her eyes tight waiting for the fireworks. She could still feel her mothers hands squeezing her own gently.



'And?.....what else.....'Carole pressed gently.



'And I'm in love with a woman.........' Carrie sighed opening her eyes to see her mother smiling back at her. 'I'm in love with Kelly Clarkson mom........'



'Kelly Clarkson?.......'Carrie jumped seeing her father make his way in the living. 'The American Idol Kelly Clarkson?...........' Stephan was now sitting at her other side of Carrie.



'Stephan I told you to go away and leave us alone.......'Carole scolded her husband but he only laughed.



'I like hearing the gushy stuff too.........'



'Mom..Dad........' Carrie couldn't believe what was happening to her. 'What?.....what......'



'Full sentences dear......'Stephan joked.



'Why aren't you yelling?.......' Carrie moved away from her parents. 'Why aren't you throwing me out.......'



'For what?....'Carole asked confused.



'For being gay......for loving a woman......'



'Kelly Clarkson......'Stephan corrected.



'What is wrong with you people.......' Carrie sighed throwing herself down between her parents again.



'You want us to throw you out for being gay?........' Carole quizzed.



'Yes......' Carrie moaned into her hands.



'Then your butt would have been out the door at eighteen.......' Carrie felt her father laugh beside her. 'You think this gay thing is news to us.....please.....we knew before you did.........'



'You knew?......'Carrie looked at both parents who only nodded. 'You knew I was gay?........why the hell didn't you tell me......'Carrie pulled the cushion from behind her hitting her father across the head with it.



'I assumed you would find out one day........' Carole explained calmly.



'Yea I mean....you'd be stupid not to........' Stephan added gaining another cushion to the head from Carrie.



'Although we have been dreading this day coming......the day you come and tell us you've met someone........'



'Oh yea.....'Stephan agreed as he pulled the last cushion from the sofa and placing it on the floor at his feet. 'I was so scared of that.......'



'Finally.......' Carrie stood to look at her parents. 'And normal response........i was starting to think I had stepped in the twilight zone.......'



'With you in la all the time.....i was so scared......'Carole commented.



'Yep......the image of Paris Hilton walking through our front door for thanks giving would bring me to tears at times.........' Stephen shuddered at the thought. ' But hey.......Kelly Clarkson.....' Stephan gave his daughter two thumbs up.



'Oh yes....'Carole added. 'Very good choice......I'm happy about that........least we can take her to church......i doubt Paris Hilton has ever been in a church........'



'I wouldn't think so.......'



'She just doesn't seem the type.......But Kelly......' Carole smiled wide.



'Oh yea.....she'll be in church with us.......i bet she'll even be up for a good game of football at thanks giving........'



'Oh I could teach her my family recipe for thanks giving dinner.........'



'Guys?........'



'She could help out on the farm.......'Stephan added.



'Guys?......'



'And Christmas carols will be so good with her and Carrie this year.......'



'Guys?...........'



'We could enter a competition with them......'



'Hey.......' Carrie stood with her hands on her hips in front of her parents.



'Yes dear......'Carole smiled brightly up at her.



'What is wrong with you people.........' Carrie watched both her parents shrug with confused looks on their faces. 'Bunch of weirdos...........' Carrie took one last look at her smiling parents before storing up to her room, making sure to bang the door as she went.





End Of flashback.





Carrie's pov





Carrie smiled at the memory as she drove onto the quiet highway. she kept a tight grip on the steering wheels as they made their way home, she could see out the corner of her eye that Kelly was still crying.



'Kel?.......' Carrie felt Kelly's body tense at the mention of her name. 'Are you OK?.........'



'I...i don't want to talk.......'



'OK.......'Carrie let one hand go of the steering wheel as she held it out in front of her wife. 'Can I hold your hand....please.......' Carrie watched Kelly think about it before slipping her small hand into Carrie's waiting one. Grasping it tightly, Carrie rested both of them in her lap as she looked back onto the road in front of her. She could see Kelly resting her head against the window, another tear slowly making it's way down her cheek.





Kelly's pov.





Flashback.





By the time Kelly and Carrie made their way into her fathers office he was already on his second glass. Kelly let go of Carrie's hand the moment they entered.



'Have a seat.......' Stephen sat behind his desk like he was interviewing them.



'Daddy.......'



'Not yet Kelly......i would like to say a few things first..........' Both Kelly and Carrie silently nodded as they waiting for him to continue. 'I was eighteen when I married your mother.......it was all so simple........you've got to understand that back then things had to be done a certain way........marriage kids nice house....then work until you die.........' Stephan paused to take a sip of his Whiskey. ' I did the marriage.......then the kids started......your sister first.......god I was so happy........that was the easy one......your mother was just so happy to stay at home and look after her. ........then Jason came....a son.....i didn't know I wanted a son till he came ..............we settled into a nice little life.......your mother coped well with the two kids.....i was happy at work.......then.....' Stephen paused to look at Kelly. 'Then your mother tells me she's pregnant........we had talk and talked about another kid and decided against it.......but there your were all the same,........'



'Daddy.......'Kelly could feel her chest tighten.



'Listen Kelly.........you were born and everything changed.....but I was happy.......you were so beautiful......so perfect.......i used to hold you in my arms all night and just watch you.......god I loved doing that......' Stephen looked off to the side as he spoke. 'Then one day I met a woman.......and all these feelings of being trapped started.........i would come home from work or from seeing her and Jason would want to play football you would be at me feet begging me to lift you and well after a while I started hating it........' Kelly felt Carrie's hand grip onto her shoulder as her father continued. ' It got to the point I couldn't take it so.....well you know that part.......i ran.......i just couldn't do it any more......i couldn't be your father........but as all those years past......my heart did miss you.....i always wondered about you......i happily waited for your mother to send me your end of school pictures.......' Stephens eyes scanned the line of photos of Kelly as a child. 'Then the news your going to be on TV.........shocked the hell out of me that did........As I watched you become a star.......'Stephan turned to look at Carrie. 'Well that's when you stopped being my little girl.......'



'She grew up......'Carrie pointed out.



'I feel like I don't know you now......'Stephan continued ignoring Carrie completely. 'Your not my little girl now.......i just don't know who you are.......but damn it Ive tried to get to know you........even though you only give me a pitiful once a year visit.........' Kelly's body froze at the suddenly change in her fathers tone of voice. She looked up to see the anger in his eyes. 'The once a year visit.....the only time I get to see you and you bring her.........'



'Dad......' Kelly tried to speak but knew if she did she would cry.



'Your wife told me to either accept her.......well I can't do that.......it's just...Ive tried but I just can't not any more........so by all means leave......go........and we won't have to suffer these horrible annual visits any more.........' Carrie was on her feet first pulled Kelly with her.



'Let's go.......' Kelly numbly followed. 'Your......' Carrie shook her head in disgust.......... You had to drag this whole thing out......sitting there like your god........you couldn't just tell her to go........you really had to reduce her to this?......'Carrie pointed to Kelly who stood trying her best not to cry. Carrie didn't wait for a reply as she gently pushed Kelly to their car.





End of Flashback





Kelly's pov





Kelly wiped away another fallen tears as she felt Carrie's hand gently squeeze hers a little more. The road was beginning to look familiar to her.



'Car?.......why are we going to my mothers?.......' Kelly was up in her seat now looking towards her wife.



'I text her a while back.......she wants to see you.......' Carrie kept her eyes on the road, the afraid to look at her wife.



'But....Carrie we're going to la........god I can't cope with another round of this..........My mothers just as bad as he is........'Kelly threw herself back against the seat.



'I'm not arguing with you there but....she wants to see you........' Kelly pulled her hand away from Carrie.



'Why do my parents suck.......why can't I have yours........' Kelly pouted.



'I don't know baby.....but I'll share mine if you want.......' Carrie pulled Kelly's hand back into her own bring them both up so she could kiss each other Kelly's knuckles. Kelly let out a loud sigh as they pulled into Jeanne's street.