Playing With Fire

ok, so i'm updating again. don't ask how i have so much to update. honestly i don't know. i don't remember having time to write this much in the past few days. i think i may be updating in my sleep or something. either that or there's a monster that lives under my bed(that's where i keep my lap top). and also, i'm updating because i seriously love long reviews, even if y'all are just chewing me out for leaving it like that, lol. but seriously, like when y'all point out specifics that y'all liked/disliked thought were cute/wretched...lol, i love that word, but yea, that totally makes my day, and it also makes it easier to write, like gives me sense of what direction to go in, you know? yea, so anyway. i'm talking too much, i know. oh, but one more thing, um, storyteller, lol, i'm guessing you meant to say that you can think mean mean mean things, lol, otherwise it's not much of a threat. lol, j/j. anyway. here ya go.



++++++++++



"Kelly," her mom nodded.



"What are you doing here?"



"Think of me as a representative."



"For what?"



"Those outside."



Kelly's heart dropped, "They're still out there?"



"They have a cause that they believe in," Jeanne replied.



"Cause? Mom, did you hear what they were saying to us? I mean, you had to have heard. For people claiming to be good Christians, they had some mouths on them."



"They're just passionate about what they believe in."



"And you just stood there and let them," Kelly pointed out. "You stood there and let them degrade me--you're own daughter--like that. How could you do that?"



"Because they're right Kelly," Jeanne replied, walking towards her.



Kelly winced, stepping closer to Carrie.



Jeanne shook her head, "I came in here to reason with you."



"I think you tried that already. I guess I'm just not a reasonable person," Kelly replied, swallowing hard.



Carrie placed a gentle hand on Kelly's lower back, rubbing soothingly.



"Can I talk to my daughter, alone please?" Jeanne asked, turning to the country singer.



"No," Carrie replied flatly.



"Kelly, tell her to let us talk. She is yours after all."



"Mine?" Kelly questioned. "I don't own her. I don't tell her what to do. She has the right to do whatever she wants, and be where ever she wants, and if she wants to stay right here, I'm not going to stop her."



"Carrie," Jeanne softened her voice. "May I please talk to my daughter for a moment?"



Carrie frowned, turning to Kelly, "It really is your decision. If you don't want me to go, I won't."



Kelly eyed her mother carefully out of the corner of her eye. "The only way for her to say what she really wants is for you not to be in here," she replied. "I'm fine, I promise."



Carrie smiled, dropping her voice, "I want to kiss you right now, you know that?"



"Then why don't you?"



"I'd rather not get slapped in the face again," she replied honestly.



"You think I'd let her?"



Carrie shook her head, "No, but I don't want to aggravate her more than necessary. She'll only take it out on you once I'm out of here."



"Alright...love you."



"Love you too."



Kelly gave her a smile as she walked out the door, closing it behind her, leaving the two women in a room by themselves. "What do you want mom?" Kelly asked bluntly.



"You know it hurts me to see you like this," her mom replied. "So angry."



"I'm not angry because of Carrie if that's what you're implying."



"She's not good for you Kelly, or your career."



"How? How can she possible be bad for me?"



"Don't you want to get married someday? I remember one time you saying how you wanted to have a bunch of kids running around. Do you not want that anymore?"



"Of course I want that."



"You can't have that with her," she tried to reason.



"Actually, I can. Things have changed mom. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I am thankful that we were born in a time and place where we can actually do that."



"It's not the same," Jeanne shook her head. "You can't find a proper preacher who would allow it."



"I'm sure we could," Kelly replied. "And if not, then oh well, there's always a court house."



"What about the beautiful wedding you always pictured growing up?"



Kelly raised an eyebrow, "Were you even there when I was growing up? I didn't want a beautiful wedding. I was scared to death of getting married, because I'd seen how yours turned out."



"Is that what this is about? Are you getting back at me?"



"No, mom," Kelly took a patient breath. "This isn't about you. And you know what? Even if I did want some big beautiful wedding, then fine, I can still have it. These days, all you need to do to be ordained is go online."



"And you think God would approve of that?" Jeanne countered. "You think he would smile down on the two of you for going against him?"



"Going against him? I'm sorry, but I guess you and I read two completely different Bibles because from what I read, the only thing God wants us to do is love, and that's what I'm doing. I'm loving someone with my entire being, so yes, I think he would approve."



"Kelly, please, just listen to me," her mom pleaded, taking her daughter's arms in her hands.



Kelly tried to pull away, but Jeanne wouldn't let her.



"I just don't want to see you get hurt. Those people out there? That's nothing, ok? It's going to get so much worse."



"And who's fault is that, mom?" Kelly asked, her voice breaking. "The only reason we announced it was because you told the entire family. It was about to get out anyway, we just did it in the least damaging way possible."



"I'm just trying to do what's best for you."



"You don't know what's best for me anymore," Kelly replied, angry at the fact that she had started to cry, but even angrier at the fact that her mother was still holding onto her arms so she couldn't brush the tears away.



"Can't you...can't you two just say you broke up?" Jeanne asked. "I mean, pretend?"



Kelly narrowed her eyes, "Is this even about Carrie and I anymore? Or is it about you, and wanting to save face?"



"Kelly Brianne," he mother admonished.



"No mom," she shook her head. "I want to know now. Who's side are you on?"



"You know the answer to that."



"I know, but I want to hear you say it."



Jeanne frowned.



"Go on mom, say it. Say how you've abandoned me. Say how you've sided with complete strangers over your own flesh and blood that you created," Kelly cried. "Say it to my face!"



Jeanne winced, letting go of her, "I warned you."



"What is that supposed to mean?"



"It's only going to get worse."



"Get out," Kelly said softly.



"What?"



"Get out!"



Jeanne shook her head as Brian entered the room.



"KC, is everything ok?" he asked.



"Brian, will you please escort Jeanne out of the theater?" Kelly asked coldly.



"Of course," he nodded, walking to Jeanne, carefully taking her elbow as he led her out of the dressing room.



Carrie immediately stood from where she had sat on the floor as Jeanne was escorted past her. She went in the dressing room to find Kelly leaning over the counter, her shoulders shaking. Her jaw tightened, "Baby, I'll be right back."



Carrie turned, hurrying down the hall in the direction Brian had led the Texan's mother. She rushed past the large security guard and through the door to the outside that had just closed. The yelling started once again as soon as people caught sight of her. Carrie reached out, placing a hand on Jeanne's arm to stop her, "What did you do to her?"



Jeanne looked at her disgustedly, "Don't touch me."



"What did you do to her?" Carrie asked firmly. "I swear to God whatever you said to hurt her you're going to live to regret. You will never get a single thing from her again, I will make sure of that."



Jeanne twisted out of the young girl's grip, walking away.



"Carrie," she felt Brian step beside her protectively. "Come on, it's not safe for you out here by yourself."



Carrie nodded, walking back inside with him.



++++++++++



Carrie wrapped her arms around Kelly from behind, feeling her fight back at first, "Hey...it's me. It's just me."



Kelly relaxed, turning around in her arms and folding into her.



"What happened, my girl?" Carrie asked softly, hugging her tightly.



"S-she threatened me. My-my own mom th-threatened me," she struggled for air as she cried.



"Well, I'm not gonna say shh," Carrie said, rubbing her back comfortingly. "Because you deserve to cry all you want."



+++++++++



"Hey," Jason said, knocking on the dressing room door and poking his head in.



"Come on in," Carrie said. They had found their way to the couch where Kelly was curled up on her, and they just sat, listening to the sound of each other breathing, not much could be said.



"Everybody's decided it's best if we pack up and leave tonight," he explained. "They're just going to be out there all night. Y'all won't be able to get a good night's sleep on the bus with them there."



"Jay?" Kelly asked softly.



"Yea?" he asked, walking to her, sitting beside Carrie on the sofa.



"Is she still out there?"



"I'm afraid so," he nodded.



"Jay, I'm so sorry about this."



"It's not your fault," he replied, squeezing her arm gently. "You can't help it."



"But I'm still sorry," she replied.



"I know," Jason nodded. "I love you."



"I love you too," she said, feeling herself tearing up again at the words she had needed to hear so badly from her family.



"I'll give y'all a few more minutes. Just let us know when you're ready to go, ok?"



They both nodded as he stood and walked out the room.



+++++++++



"We did this once already," Kelly took a deep breath, holding onto Carrie's hand tightly.



"Yea," she nodded.



"We can do it again."



"Yea."



"You ready?" Brian asked from behind them.



"Yea," Kelly replied.



Brian nodded for the two policemen to open the door. Apparently more people had gathered, and this time the need for the bigger entourage was necessary. Add in the fact of how late it was, and not everybody outside was of sober mind.



Kelly felt like she was going to throw up as they walked outside, the yelling increasing dramatically. She watched as the officers standing in front of the barricades struggled to keep the people at bay. She saw one man holding up a Bible, calling out a verse, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." On the side of him another man yelled for the singers to go the fuck away, they didn't want their kind in their town.



She held her head high, even though inside she was shrinking at the threats and taunts that were thrown their way. Someone managed to grab a hold of her arm.



"Please let go," Kelly struggled to pull away.



"You're going to burn for this," the woman spit at her.



Brian quickly stepped in, pulling Kelly back. Carrie wrapped an arm around her protectively.



"You ok?"



"Yea," Kelly nodded, shaking it off as they nearly reached the bus stairs.



"What are you going to do? Fuck her?" they heard a voice cry out.



"You know what? Maybe I am!" Carrie snapped back. "What business is it of yours?"



Kelly quickly pulled Carrie out of the way as someone through a beer bottle at her that shattered on the ground where she had just been standing.



"Get on the bus!" they heard Brian yell.



Kelly locked eyes with Jeanne who was shaking her head at the two of them as Tim pushed the pair of singers onto the bus, closing the door behind them as he hopped into the driver's seat.



"Are you ok?" Kelly asked, inspecting Carrie closely. "Did it hit you?"



"No, I'm fine," she replied shakily. "Sorry about that. It kinda just came out."



"It's ok," Kelly assured her, stumbling as she felt the bus move forward. She regained her footing as Carrie held her up.



+++++++++



Kelly nodded as she walked out of the shower in her pajamas, towel drying her hair. Carrie smiled as she walked passed her into the shower. Kelly sat at the booth in the front of the bus, facing her tour manager. They had stopped at the hotel to pick up Ashley and the normal bus driver who had hurried over to gather their things. Kelly had heard her best friend snoring lightly when she passed the bunks.



"Everybody's ok?" she asked.



Tim nodded, "Don't worry, I just got a call from Halbert. Everyone's fine. They all made it out of there."



"Good," Kelly let out a sigh of relief.



"What about you two?" Tim asked curiously. "You're ok?"



"Yea, Carrie's a little shaken up, but she's gonna be fine."



"And you?"



"I'm good," she nodded.



"Alright, then go get some sleep. You have another show tomorrow."



"Ok," she replied, reaching across and patting his bald head, making him laugh.



+++++++++++



Kelly couldn't help but smile at the sound of her bedroom door opening and closing as she lay on her back in bed. She felt Carrie climbing onto the foot of the bed and crawling over her. She watched as Carrie slipped her shirt off. Kelly's hand reached up, touching the softness of her skin.



"Hey," Carrie said softly, hovering over her.



"Hi," Kelly replied, feeling the country singer's hands playing with the hem of her own shirt. She raised her arms, allowing Carrie to slide it off. Her eyes closed as Carrie leaned down, kissing her neck gently. She slowly made her way down her chest to her stomach, leaving a trail of gentle kisses. She pressed her lips lightly against her, before resting her cheek against her stomach, and wrapping her arms around her.



Kelly smiled, running a hand through Carrie's hair as she lay there.



"I was scared when that lady grabbed you," she heard her confess. "I thought they were going to hurt you."



"It's ok," Kelly assured her. "That's what Brian and them are here for. They'd never let something like that happen to me, or you either for that matter."



"I'm sorry you had to go through that with your mom again," Carrie said softly.



"Yea," Kelly sighed. "I think it would actually be better if I never saw her again. At least that way, I didn't have to think about it."



"You think tomorrow will be better?"



"I don't see how it can get worse."



Carrie turned her head, kissing her softly once more before pushing herself back up to where they were eye level with each other. She leaned down, pressing their lips together.



"Then again, happy endings are always worth it," Kelly smiled, reaching up to touch her cheek.



"Kell," Carrie said gently, reading right through her. "You want to cry?"



Kelly shook her head.



"Cause I mean, that's what I'm here for, isn't it? That's the deal we made? You hold it in through the concert, then you run straight to me, and I'll hold you all night, right?"



"Yea," Kelly replied, her voice catching as she remembered that previous conversation.



"So?"



Kelly just nodded, pulling Carrie down on top of her as she buried her face in her shoulder.



"Baby," Carrie sighed softly, holding onto her tightly as she felt her tears against her skin as she shook in her arms.



++++++++



Carrie woke up to find her arm wrapped tightly around Kelly's legs as the Texan sat up in bed, reading. Carrie watched her curiously. It wasn't the first time she had found her reading the Bible. It was actually a frequent occurrence. This just seemed different. She seemed to be looking for something, rather than actually reading.



"What's up?" Carrie asked, yawning as she sat up next to her.



"I don't get it."



"Don't get what?" Carrie questioned, wrapping her arm around Kelly's waist, pulling her close.



"This, right here. Corinthians chapter 13 verse 13. 'But now, faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love'."



"It seems pretty straight forward to me," Carrie shrugged.



"Exactly, and then," Kelly flipped to where she had doggy-eared a page. "This one. It's a psalm. 'Love and faithfulness meet each other; righteousness and peace kiss each other.' You-you can't have one without the other, you know? I mean, there's no way I could love you as much as I do without having faith, right?"



Carrie sighed, realizing what was bothering her, "Kell--"



"Wait, there's one more," she said, flipping to another page she had marked. "It's from Galations. Read that, right there."



Carrie read the verse she was pointing to aloud, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."



"See," Kelly said. "See, it doesn't matter that you're a girl. He doesn't care. He views us all as one, as equals."



Carrie smiled sadly, closing the Bible, and putting it to the side, "Sweetheart, nobody's doubting your faith."



"Then why does it feel like the entire world is?"



"Ok, maybe that didn't come out right," she frowned. "What I meant is, it doesn't matter what they think. All that matters is what you believe, right?"



"But...they..."



"Isn't there something in there about this?" Carrie nodded to the Bible. "Something like when you pray don't do it on the street like the hypocrites, because they'll get there's, but you should do it in the private of your own room, hidden. And then, your Father who is hidden shall reward you."



Kelly gave a soft smile.



"I managed to not completely zone out one Sunday," Carrie shrugged, patting her hip with the hand that was resting there as she kissed her cheek.



+++++++++



"Hey," Ashley smiled, joining Carrie in the bus's 'living room'.



"Hey," she smiled back.



"Where's Kelly?"



"Writing," Carrie nodded to the back room.



"You left her by herself?"



"She needs to be alone to be able to be that vulnerable," Carrie shrugged.



"That doesn't upset you?"



"No," Carrie shook her head. "I mean, that'd be like reading her diary. Everybody needs some privacy, something for themselves, even if she just keeps it to herself for a few months before showing it to the entire world...she needs those few months."



Ashley shook her head, "This album was supposed to be happy, you know?"



"That's what I've been hearing," Carrie nodded.



"Why do I have the feeling that whatever she's writing in there doesn't fit that description?"



"Because she's crushed right now," Carrie replied.



"I heard that Jeanne talked to her last night...after the show."



"Yea," Carrie sighed, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "She was waiting in the dressing room."



"I really don't understand how she can't see how much she is hurting her daughter," Ashley frowned. "I mean, I do understand why she wouldn't agree with it, I do. And that's nothing against you," she assured her. "She was raised to believe in a certain right and wrong."



"And you don't think she raised Kelly the same way?" Carrie countered. "I think people forget how hard this has been on us, not just the way everyone else reacts, but our own reactions. We are going against our beliefs and what we were taught was right. Kelly acts like it doesn't bother her, but you know at times she has her doubts."



"I know, but some people are just more set--"



"Set?" Carrie laughed softly. "Ashley, you've known Kelly for how long?"



"Since we were in seventh grade."



"Would you say she's a religious person?"



It was now Ashley's turn to laugh, "Her faith is more important to her than anything else."



"So why can she change, and not Jeanne?"



"Because Kelly's heart is bigger than the universe, you know that. I wasn't saying Jeanne is right. I was trying to say that I get that she doesn't agree, but I don't get why that means she can't accept it."



"What about you?" Carrie asked, folding her legs beneath her and turning to face her. "I really want to know what you honestly think."



Ashley frowned, "What I honestly think?"



"Yea."



"I accept it," she nodded. "Beyond that I'm not sure myself. I like you, you know that. I think you're a great person, and I am so happy Kelly found you. I guess...well, I guess I do agree, yea. I mean, y'all like compliment each other, you know? You just fit. I don't understand it, but I know she needs to be with you, so I don't see how I could go against that."



Carrie smiled.



"You know, you're alright kid," Ashley teased, nudging her playfully.



"Shut up," Carrie laughed.