When Love & Hate Collide

Benji stumbled to a stop, his bag falling from suddenly nerveless fingers, his legs dropping him to the floor; there was a police car parked outside his house. His breath caught in his chest, his mind racing - what were they doing here? Running his hands over his face, he pulled himself to his feet, shaking his head before sitting down on the garden wall, the beginnings of panic rushing through him. Swearing under his breath, he reached into his bag for his cigarettes, taking a shaky breath as he lit one, blowing blue smoke through his nostrils as he kicked his feet against the bricks, unable to take his eyes from the car in front of him.

“The fuck are they doing here?” Benji muttered to himself. His hands shook as he smoked, his stomach sinking down to the level of his ankles; what if someone saw and had phoned the police?

He moaned under his breath as he dropped his cigarette to the floor, stubbing it with his foot. He shook his head - there had been no-one in the park, he was sure of it. Exhaling heavily, he toyed with the idea of getting up and going down the road to Matt’s house; Matt would know what to do. But then again it was a Friday night and Matt was probably high and fucking Clare, his girlfriend, and definitely would not appreciate the intrusion.

His teeth worrying his lower lip, Benji knew he couldn’t go to Nick or Jere either; they looked up to him to much and there was no way he was going to compromise his position with either of them. Which left, Benji realised with a sick feeling, no-one he could turn to, especially since Tony was too close to Joel. What the fuck was he going to do?

Sighing again, Benji’s eyes drifted from the car up the driveway to his front door, realising that the police had probably already seen him anyway and were just waiting for him to walk up the path.

Reaching into his bag, he pulled out a bottle of Pepsi, unscrewing the lid and taking a deep swig of it. He tossed the empty bottle into the trash, pulling a packet of mints from his jacket pocket. His fingers found his cell phone and his eyes widened, a small smile tugging at his lips as he realised what the police were doing there. He laughed under his breath, berating himself for being so fucking stupid!

Now that he stopped to think about it, it all made perfect sense; of course the police were going to be here. And it wasn’t because he’d been seen in the park but because the ambulance had taken Joel to hospital and the police were there to tell his Mom.

Relief crashed through him as he shook a handful of mints out into his palm, shoving them into his mouth. Chewing them quickly and swallowing, he pushed himself to his feet, breathing onto the back of his hand to smell his breath. Satisfied that the mint was masking the smell of smoke, he picked his bag up, slinging it over his shoulder as he strode up the drive way.

He paused as he reached the door, one hand on the handle, pasting what he hoped was a worried look on his face. He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and pushed the door open, calling out to his mom, asking her what was wrong as he stepped through into the house.