Silver and Cold

Yami990- pudding! I LOVE pudding... except for butterscotch... but that's off topic. Sorry. o_0

B- I guess... maybe you're right, and besides, even if no one read my story, I'd still write it cuz writing's not about getting fans, it's about enjoying yourself... right?????

Saki- that's kinda what I wanted- for my readers to relate to at least one person in this story. I actually based this fanfic on experiences that I had, so it's good to know that you can relate to Dio.

Ehh anyways, enjoy.

-Last Chapter-

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," Die's voice was carrying something I couldn't quite figure out. It was nothing good, but I didn't care. It was a distraction, and I desperately needed a distraction.

-Chapter Seven-

I chewed on my lip, mulling it over. 'Just go,' My mind was telling me. 'Why not? It's just a bit of fun,' "Ok," I said. "I'll go," I said it loud enough so that Shinya could hear. I wanted him to know I wasn't dwelling on his words.

"You'll love this," Die said. "I'll be there in half an hour,"

"Bye," I said the word so that it sounded like, 'buuuuhhheye.' I knew that was not how to say good-bye properly in Japan, but at the moment, I didn’t care. I heard the line go dead and put the phone down.

"Don't go," Shinya mumbled.

I rolled my eyes. "Why not? It's my life, after all," I paused, opening his fridge even though I wasn't hungry. "Die's just taking me out to dinner probably,"

"Die never JUST takes a girl out to dinner," Shinya sounded like he knew the whole deal. "Trust me, he has ulterior motives,"

"So what if he does?" I found myself raising my voice and sounding spiteful.

Shinya's doleful eyes met mine, and for a second I wanted to stay here, and sit and talk to him like I did those last few nights. But I remembered what was said in his car, and all those feelings melted away.

"Don't go," He repeated himself. "I don't want you to do something you're going to regret," He paused and looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn't.

I felt my blood boil with ire. "Who do you think you are?" I let my anger loose with aggression. "You can not tell me what to do or where to go or who to see! Don't you recall what you said?" I felt a pang of guilt hit me as his face contorted with disheartenment, but I let ignorance get the best of me and left the room to get dressed.

***

I was about as elegant as I would ever get for an outing. I wearing a pair of long silver earrings that swept my shoulder. Shinya had gotten them for me, and I had a hard time putting them on, but I told myself, 'they're just earrings,' The earrings were the most expensive things I had on. My outfit was rather simple; a blue T-shirt paired with black jeans and running shoes. Typical American clothes.

I had my back to Shinya, staring at the door, nervously clutching my coat. 'What if he was right?' I chewed on my bottom lip. 'What if-' I didn't have time to worry anymore. I heard a buzz, and went over to the intercom.

I pressed a random button, unsure of how to use an intercom. "Um, yeah?" I said shakily.

"It's Die,"

"Oh," I looked for the button that opened the door. "Hang on, I'll let you in," I said, pressing another random button. TO minutes later, a knock was heard at the door.

I nearly tripped over myself running to open it. As I pulled it open, I noticed Die was dressed just as casually as I was. To that, I was thankful. If he were dressed up, that would mean we were going somewhere fancy and it would be mortifying if I walked into some extravagant restaurant wearing a T-shirt and jeans.

"Ready?" He asked, giving me bedroom eyes.

I raised my brows and gave a bemused smile. "Of course," I turned to Shinya. "I'm leaving," I said it so that it almost sounded like we were breaking up, even though we were never together.

After an unbearable silence, I walked out in front of Die and into the hallway. "Where are we going?" I demanded to know.

He put an arm around my waist. "Does it matter?" He asked as we began to walk towards the elevators.

"Yes," I said. "I'd like to know where I'm going,"

"I told you," Die leaned in and I thought he would kiss me, so I pulled back. He brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes, and it reminded me of this morning. "It's a surprise,"

***

I scoffed haughtily as I entered the dimly lit room. "I should've known," I shook my head. "Your place," I turned to Die who was now smiling recklessly.

Once again, his arm was around my waist as he closed the door behind him. He moved closer, and this time I let him. I didn't want to care anymore. I just wanted to forget for one miserable night.

He pressed me against the wall, flicking his tongue over my mouth. Die forcefully bit down on my lower lip and I gasped, but he smothered the sound with his mouth. His kiss was not at all like Shinya's. It was rough and wanton. But I let myself be taken over by the sensation.

Die moved down to the hollow of my neck, and I closed my eyes, letting my hand run up and down his back. I felt him nip at my earlobe. "Shinya..." I moaned. Suddenly, it clicked in my mind that I had said the wrong name. Die instantly froze. I felt like a bullet had just shot through me and the sting was slowly sinking in.

***

I knocked on Shinya's door with my head down. He opened it and welcomed me in impersonally. "You're back early," He said nonchalantly.

"Yeah," I mumbled. "There were some awkward moments and we both decided it would be best if I went home,"

"Awkward moments?" He said as he refilled Miyu's water bowl and set it down at the dog's feet.

"I don't wanna talk about it," I grumbled, too embarrassed and flustered to even think about it. 'Why did I say Shinya?' I thought. 'Ok, so it's obvious, I like him. More then as a friend. There, I admitted it,' I looked at Shinya quickly. 'I admitted to wanting to be with him. But that doesn't mean I will. Because we'll only break up and that will push me over the edge. I'd rather stay where I am, just wavering precariously over the edge.'

"That usually means that you had a bad evening," Shinya was sounding more and more inattentive and it only added to my low mood.

"Yes," I kept my head down. The one person who I actually cared about I pushed away to the point of hatred. How stupid was I? I didn't even know how to fix it.

And the thing I was most afraid of was that Die would tell Shinya what happened.

***

The next day, when Dir En Grey had another practice, I hid in the back of the room, feeling much better ensconced in the shadows rather then around the rest of them. I noticed that I was shaking uncontrollably ever since I woke up, and I was beginning to think I was getting some sort of mental disorder.

Shinya and Die, luckily, didn't talk. But Die kept shooting me cryptic looks that made me cringe from humiliation. Kyo and Kaoru seemed to feel something wrong, but couldn't figure out what. Toshiya was highly suspicious and kept asking me what happened, but I gave him obscure answers like, "Just something,"

It was then that Die walked over to me, and did something completely unexpected, at least by me. He kissed me lightly, and said, "I had fun, we should do that again sometime," And walked away.

I was left dazed. "Huh?" I said to myself. 'Was he drunk last night or something? Does he not remember me clearly saying Shinya's name instead of his own?'

After Die's little show, everyone was slack-jawed and silent. I let myself look at Shinya. Never in my life had I seen such deep anguish, and I wanted to run up to him and apologize over and over again until there was nothing left in me, but I just clutched my stomach as if I was about to be sick and sat down.

Toshiya walked over to me. "Explain," He said. "What was that?"

"I-I don't know," I didn't look at him, afraid he would be able to tell I was lying.

"You know," He said. "And when you think you wanna tell me, please do," he got up and walked away.

***

By the end of the day, I had cut myself raw and was acting brain-dead. Practice was over, and I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take the repetitive days of following Dir En Grey around everywhere. I was restless, and especially sick of the drama.

Shinya and I were alone in the room now. I was sitting on the couch, he was cleaning up. "Dio," He said my name. 'He said my name!' I thought, sounding like an annoying fangirl.

"Yes?" I replied, calm, cool, and collected.

"I have to talk to you," He sat down beside me, toke my hand and rolled up my sleeve. It was now hard to see the skin on my wrists in between the gory scars. "I can't let you do this to yourself," His voice was soft and calming.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because..." He paused. "Because you're my friend," He fought to say that sentence.

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes and was shocked to find he was close to crying as well. I opened my mouth to say something, but all that came out was a pitiful, strangled cry. I buried my face in his shoulder and let myself cry, at last.

-End of Chapter Seven-

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