Adjusting

The next morning JC opened bleary eyes, that felt like they'd been sandblasted. Giving a startled screech, he tumbled off the bed. He moaned in pain, and lay where he'd fallen. Too tired to even move. "Justin. What the hell?" he muttered, carefully turning his head to the side. He could see his ex's feet on the other side of the bed. He idly contemplated the spotless state of the space beneath the bed. Clinging desperately to the void he'd woken in.

Justin's feet moved, and in short order JC found himself staring up at the blonde. Justin reached for him and he flinched back. He stilled as what he'd done hit him. The instinctive move to avoid pain. He shoved the disturbing implications to the back of his mind. Dimissing any and all doubts, ruthlessly.

Taking Justin's hand, he let himself be pulled to his feet. He didn't think he could stand otherwise. His head was killing him. Moaning in pain, he pushed past Justin, headed for the bathroom. Justin's voice followed him, "Why was Eminem here?"

JC didn't hesitate. Hesitation when dealing with Justin was never good. "Huh? Oh, I got his phone by accident yesterday. The one for his daughter. He came by to get it. Rude about it too."

He dry swallowed a handful of aspirin, hoping that would satisfiy his ex. He didn't bother to wonder how Justin knew. When it came to him, Justin always seemed to know. He contemplated stinking his head in the shower, settled for splashing a face full of cold water. He stood, head bowed over the sink. Justin was in the other room waiting. He so did not need that this morning. Sighing he dried his face off, and went to face his ex.

Justin was cleaning up the mess from last night. JC stared bewildered, watching him. Justin hadn't done anything like this since Lou. Made such an obvious gesture of looking after him. Justin tossed the last of the bottles into the trash, turning to him. JC gasped at the concern in his ex's eyes.

At the breathless exhale, Justin moved quickly to JC's side. "Are you all right, Jayce?" Justin's hands drifted over the lean form.

JC was to stunned to do anything but stand there. Justin's hands petting and stroking him like they hadn't in months. He didn't know what to think. "Justin," a world of questions in the soft cry.

His ex paused, looking up from his inspection. "Oh, Jayce. I was so worried when one of Lonnie's guys said they saw Eminem leaving here," said Justin, gaze filled with worry. "I remembered him bothering you before. I thought something had happened."

JC waited for the condemnations. For Justin's jealously to flare. To hear Justin tell him what a risk his actions were. How he had to be careful. How everything would fall apart if anyone found out he was gay. When the usual accustions weren't forthcoming, JC stopped staring at his feet. He forced his eyes up to meet Justin's. His heart stopped in his chest. Justin was looking at him... looking at him like.... JC shook his head backing away.

He couldn't take this. This ghost of his Justin.

"Jayce, baby," said Justin softly, reaching out to stroke his cheek. Something welled up in his throat at the touch, and he leapt away. He couldn't breathe, and he knew his eyes were wild. 'Cause Justin stared at him, as if he were a panicked horse.

Justin stilled, and began talking as if to a cornered animal. "Jayce, baby. It's okay. Whatever you're thinking," he murmured, voice soft and low like it had never been. "It's okay." Justin's movements were slow and steady. He inched forward until he was only a breath away. "I know your confused, but baby everything is okay now," whispered Justin, wrapping his arms around JC.

JC tensed once then sagged into the embrace. He couldn't help it. He'd missed this so much.

"I was a fool, Jayce. To let our image mean more to me than you. It took me awhile to see it. But you know me, not the brightest bulb in the bunch," he said, self-deprecatingly. Justin pulled back, catching JC's chin in his hand. He forced the older man's face up until their eyes met. "Baby, I was wrong. But Jayce, when I thought something had happened...."

JC watched his eyes darken, moaned when Justin's arms tightened. He didn't say anything, couldn't. No. It felt too good to have the bruising grip back. This was his Justin. His Justin. He knew all he'd had to do was wait. Knew Justin would come back.

"Please, forgive me. I'll do anything. I'm sorry."

JC stared into the eyes of the only man he'd ever loved. He had to believe, Justin. He had to. There was nothing else. "Of course, love. I know. I know."

---

Chris glanced between the two lead singers, he hadn't seen them in days. They hadn't even shown to see Lance and Joey off on their scouting trip. He could see why now. Apparently, they'd been shacked up together. Well, it looked like things were back on. A part of him was relieved. For a little while there, he'd actually thought... Shaking his head at his own stupidity, he slipped up behind the two and goosed JC. JC spun around, eyes wide and bright.

Chris blinked at the dazzling picture. JC glowed. He looked like he'd been handed the world. No, the stars. The shadows in his gaze had vanished. A bright grin, that actually reached his eyes for once, lit his face. This was JC. Caught up in his musings, Chris didn't notice the hand reaching for him. He yelped in shock as his underwear lodged where they had no business being. JC grinned impishly at him, before taking off cackling. Chris stood stunned stupid for a second, then with an ear splitting shriek took off after him.

~~~&~~~
Later that afternoon, JC lounged against Justin's side as they sprawled on the studio couches. "I really don't want to do the track without Joey and Lance, Justin," he said, quietly. Fingers running through the golden curls. His gaze landed on the ring of fingerprints around his forearm. A half-remembered voice drifted through his thoughts; whispering of abuse. He shook it off. It was an accident. Justin had just held on a little to tightly when they'd made love. JC stretched at the thought, wincing at the familiar pull of muscles. Sore, but a good sore. Maybe Justin had held on too hard, but it was the excitement of being back together.

Justin shifted beside him, pulling him closer. JC let himself be dragged across the sofa. "We talked about this, Jayce. Trace is doing the vocals. I don't want to wait on them to get back from Canada," insisted Justin. He forced JC's head up. JC dropped his eyes, seeing the disappointment in Justin's. "Why are you giving me grief over this? Joey and Lance will be fine with it. Don't you trust me."

JC sighed. It still didn't feel right doing this without the guys but Justin wanted it. "I'm sorry, Jus. Trace is fine."

Justin grinned, that bright grin of his, leaned forward dropping a kiss on his forehead. "All right, that's my sweet boy."

JC grinned back. He loved Justin happy.