Hidden - chapter 27 up!
folder
Singers/Bands/Musicians › HIM
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
27
Views:
3,348
Reviews:
16
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
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Category:
Singers/Bands/Musicians › HIM
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
27
Views:
3,348
Reviews:
16
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
7
Hey guys, this is Hayley, I wanna ask a favour. I feel a little unappriciated here, no offence or anything, I love you guys for reviewing, but I wanna know what you think...so rate please, or I feel the story is no good...
I feel the weight of the bed shift during the night, awakening me from a dreamless sleep. I know who it is straight away. Lily. Since Lauri, she'd been petrified of the dark. I'd learned that Lauri would bath her normally, then, as he put her to bed, he'd get in with her, and assault her. Now shes scared of the dark. I brought her a night light, I leave the hall light on, I put a torch on her bedside table, but still, night after night, she crawls into my bed, cuddles up to me, and sobs herself back to sleep. I look at the time, the clock flashes 2:24am.
"Hey darling...come here..." I whisper tiredly as I hear her whimpering. I pull her into my arms and she buries her face into my shoulder, her tears slowly dampening my t shirt. I rub her back, there-there her, and tell her that, no matter what, I'm here.
"That's not what he told me daddy..." She cries. Wait...this is the first of heard of this....
"What do you mean Rakus, what did he tell you?" I plead, concern lacing my voice. She sniffs, holds me tighter,
"He said that...you didn't love me and you were...were...gonna leave me...and...and that...mommy didn't love me cause...cause...she died when I was born..." She sobbed, her tears flowing now. I gulp back my own tears, Lily has never mentioned Jules before. Its still a rough subject for me....I've still not had a proper chance to grieve for her...
"Mommy died having you Kulta...there were complications....it was a choice between her life, and yours. Your mommy wanted you to live... You were early...she went into shock...and mommy...mommy had a problem with her heart...every since she was little...and because you were so early...she got scared...she had a heart attack Rukas...she died before she got to see you...but she loved you darling, so much. She picked out your name, decorated your nursery, picked out your clothes..." I'd broken down by that point, and found that it was Lily that was comforting me.
"Do you miss mommy?" She asked me, wiping my tears away. It should be me wiping her tears away! I nod, cluth her hand in mine and kiss her fingers.
"I do Kulta...so so much. And it hurts, it hurts so bad darling...I didn't get to say goodbye..." Again tears flow freely from my eyes, flooding my face. Lily again, wipes them away. She's being so brave, so strong... Now, now is the time to give her the locket... "Hey Rukus, you see this ring that daddy always wears?" She nods. "Well, see the little blue diamond in it? Well, that was made out of Mommy's remains...so she can always be with me...Kulta, I had one made for you too. A pink one in a locket, wanna see?" A broad smile appears on my daughters face.
"You mean, I'll have a mommy?" She asks, her voice full of awe. I grin and nod.
"Sort of Kulta, you'll have a little bit of mommy with you where ever you go, so she'll always me there for you, protecting you. And when you wanna talk to her, just open up the locket. There's a picture of mommy and me inside, it was taken when she was about to have you. And the other picture is mommy by herself when she was a little girl. I want you to have the locket Kulta, but promise me, promise me you'll look after it...I know your only 4, but your getting a big girl, you need to learn responsibilities," She nods eagarly,
"I promise daddy, I'll take good care of mommy," She whispered, her eyes glazed with tears. I smile and plant a kiss on her cheek. Taking the locket from my bedside drawer, I place it slowly around her neck, she looks at it in awe, then gingerly opens it.
"Hi mommy...I'm gonna look after you now, just like daddy..." She whispered, and my tears of grief became tears of pride as I pulled her into my arms and kissed her forehead.
"That's so sweet darling...I love you Rukas," I whisper as I rock her gently. She closes the locket and cuddles up to me again. As she drifts of to sleep, I hear her say,
"I love you too daddy..."
Over the next few months, HIM toured the world, recording, playing, doing interviews... Everywhere I went, I scattered Jules ashes. London, Paris, Rome, Berlin, L.A., New York to name a few. Over all I managed to get just a little of her in over 12 different countries worldwide, and 10 different states of America. She'd be so pleased. It was her dream to travel the world with my band, and finally, she's done it. Now, no matter where I go, I'll find comfort in the fact that, somewhere near, Jules is looking, waiting, loving...and finally...after almost 5 years, I can grieve for the death of the woman I love.
The last of her ashes I wanted to put somewhere special, as its the last place I can take her. The place holds dear in my heart, and will do forever more. The Elan Valley in Wales. Its where we first meet, on a school trip. Despite being in different years, our school was divided into 4 houses. Jules and I were both in the same house, so we both went on the trip. And it was here, this very spot, that we meet, shared our first kiss, and officially became a couple. Before I allow myself to scatter the very last of her ashes, I take out a picture of her. Its the last picture of us together, the same one as in Lily's locket, taken the day before her birth, the day before Jules death.
"Hey darling...I told you we'd come back here one day..." I whisper, my throat choked with emotion already. I allow my tears to roll freely down my cheeks, now is my chance to grieve. "I miss you so much...every second of every day, I think about you...Lily is the spitting image of you sweetheart...gets more and more like you everyday...you'd be so proud...so proud." I gently kiss her picture, pausing to regain my voice. I smile as I remember the last time we were here, when I'd kissed her in front of everyone, and the first formers had cried out in disgust. "I'm sorry for what happened to her last year darling, I really am...If I'd have known...but it doesn't matter now. His fellow inmates...they murdered him in his cell...thought what he did was inhuman, bit of a joke really...most of them were murderers and rapists..." I laugh slightly, but my laughter soon becomes tears once again. "I've started to tell her about you...she understands bless her...talks to your picture all the time...she's never sad though...always chatting happily away to you...it helps her you know...after what happened." It really had helped her, her nightmares had started to stop, and she was slowly becoming the beautiful, happy little girl she should be. "You were right...HIM got signed, maybe because every song I've ever written, I've written for you....and I kept my promise...you'll travel with me no matter what....I scattered your ashes all around the world...and your in this ring...Lily's locket too...the diamonds were made out of your remains...we'll never truly be apart my love, never again..." My emotions had over taken me by this point, and I just sat there and cried, cried until my tears were gone and I could cry no longer. I opened the nearly empty urn, and allowed a gust of wind to carry the rest of Jules away. "This is not goodbye My Love, this is see you soon..." I whisper, kissing her picture once again...
I feel the weight of the bed shift during the night, awakening me from a dreamless sleep. I know who it is straight away. Lily. Since Lauri, she'd been petrified of the dark. I'd learned that Lauri would bath her normally, then, as he put her to bed, he'd get in with her, and assault her. Now shes scared of the dark. I brought her a night light, I leave the hall light on, I put a torch on her bedside table, but still, night after night, she crawls into my bed, cuddles up to me, and sobs herself back to sleep. I look at the time, the clock flashes 2:24am.
"Hey darling...come here..." I whisper tiredly as I hear her whimpering. I pull her into my arms and she buries her face into my shoulder, her tears slowly dampening my t shirt. I rub her back, there-there her, and tell her that, no matter what, I'm here.
"That's not what he told me daddy..." She cries. Wait...this is the first of heard of this....
"What do you mean Rakus, what did he tell you?" I plead, concern lacing my voice. She sniffs, holds me tighter,
"He said that...you didn't love me and you were...were...gonna leave me...and...and that...mommy didn't love me cause...cause...she died when I was born..." She sobbed, her tears flowing now. I gulp back my own tears, Lily has never mentioned Jules before. Its still a rough subject for me....I've still not had a proper chance to grieve for her...
"Mommy died having you Kulta...there were complications....it was a choice between her life, and yours. Your mommy wanted you to live... You were early...she went into shock...and mommy...mommy had a problem with her heart...every since she was little...and because you were so early...she got scared...she had a heart attack Rukas...she died before she got to see you...but she loved you darling, so much. She picked out your name, decorated your nursery, picked out your clothes..." I'd broken down by that point, and found that it was Lily that was comforting me.
"Do you miss mommy?" She asked me, wiping my tears away. It should be me wiping her tears away! I nod, cluth her hand in mine and kiss her fingers.
"I do Kulta...so so much. And it hurts, it hurts so bad darling...I didn't get to say goodbye..." Again tears flow freely from my eyes, flooding my face. Lily again, wipes them away. She's being so brave, so strong... Now, now is the time to give her the locket... "Hey Rukus, you see this ring that daddy always wears?" She nods. "Well, see the little blue diamond in it? Well, that was made out of Mommy's remains...so she can always be with me...Kulta, I had one made for you too. A pink one in a locket, wanna see?" A broad smile appears on my daughters face.
"You mean, I'll have a mommy?" She asks, her voice full of awe. I grin and nod.
"Sort of Kulta, you'll have a little bit of mommy with you where ever you go, so she'll always me there for you, protecting you. And when you wanna talk to her, just open up the locket. There's a picture of mommy and me inside, it was taken when she was about to have you. And the other picture is mommy by herself when she was a little girl. I want you to have the locket Kulta, but promise me, promise me you'll look after it...I know your only 4, but your getting a big girl, you need to learn responsibilities," She nods eagarly,
"I promise daddy, I'll take good care of mommy," She whispered, her eyes glazed with tears. I smile and plant a kiss on her cheek. Taking the locket from my bedside drawer, I place it slowly around her neck, she looks at it in awe, then gingerly opens it.
"Hi mommy...I'm gonna look after you now, just like daddy..." She whispered, and my tears of grief became tears of pride as I pulled her into my arms and kissed her forehead.
"That's so sweet darling...I love you Rukas," I whisper as I rock her gently. She closes the locket and cuddles up to me again. As she drifts of to sleep, I hear her say,
"I love you too daddy..."
Over the next few months, HIM toured the world, recording, playing, doing interviews... Everywhere I went, I scattered Jules ashes. London, Paris, Rome, Berlin, L.A., New York to name a few. Over all I managed to get just a little of her in over 12 different countries worldwide, and 10 different states of America. She'd be so pleased. It was her dream to travel the world with my band, and finally, she's done it. Now, no matter where I go, I'll find comfort in the fact that, somewhere near, Jules is looking, waiting, loving...and finally...after almost 5 years, I can grieve for the death of the woman I love.
The last of her ashes I wanted to put somewhere special, as its the last place I can take her. The place holds dear in my heart, and will do forever more. The Elan Valley in Wales. Its where we first meet, on a school trip. Despite being in different years, our school was divided into 4 houses. Jules and I were both in the same house, so we both went on the trip. And it was here, this very spot, that we meet, shared our first kiss, and officially became a couple. Before I allow myself to scatter the very last of her ashes, I take out a picture of her. Its the last picture of us together, the same one as in Lily's locket, taken the day before her birth, the day before Jules death.
"Hey darling...I told you we'd come back here one day..." I whisper, my throat choked with emotion already. I allow my tears to roll freely down my cheeks, now is my chance to grieve. "I miss you so much...every second of every day, I think about you...Lily is the spitting image of you sweetheart...gets more and more like you everyday...you'd be so proud...so proud." I gently kiss her picture, pausing to regain my voice. I smile as I remember the last time we were here, when I'd kissed her in front of everyone, and the first formers had cried out in disgust. "I'm sorry for what happened to her last year darling, I really am...If I'd have known...but it doesn't matter now. His fellow inmates...they murdered him in his cell...thought what he did was inhuman, bit of a joke really...most of them were murderers and rapists..." I laugh slightly, but my laughter soon becomes tears once again. "I've started to tell her about you...she understands bless her...talks to your picture all the time...she's never sad though...always chatting happily away to you...it helps her you know...after what happened." It really had helped her, her nightmares had started to stop, and she was slowly becoming the beautiful, happy little girl she should be. "You were right...HIM got signed, maybe because every song I've ever written, I've written for you....and I kept my promise...you'll travel with me no matter what....I scattered your ashes all around the world...and your in this ring...Lily's locket too...the diamonds were made out of your remains...we'll never truly be apart my love, never again..." My emotions had over taken me by this point, and I just sat there and cried, cried until my tears were gone and I could cry no longer. I opened the nearly empty urn, and allowed a gust of wind to carry the rest of Jules away. "This is not goodbye My Love, this is see you soon..." I whisper, kissing her picture once again...