Playing With Fire

++++++++++



Kelly frowned as she paced the living room in their Tennessee home.



"Honey, I'm home!" she heard Carrie call out from the front door, laughing.



"Care, I'm so sorry," Kelly quickly apologized, rushing to her and wrapping her arms around her tightly before she could even place down her bags.



"For what?" Carrie asked, worriedly. "Babe, what happened?"



"I don't know how they got them, I swear," Kelly shook her head, pulling her into the living room. She reached down to the coffee table, picking up a magazine.



Carrie's face paled.



"Care, I'm so sorry," she repeated. "I mean, they were on my phone. I deleted them off my computer as soon as I printed out the one I wanted, I promise."



"I know," Carrie nodded, looking down at the gossip magazine that must have been the one that Ashley had called her about two days before.



"Y-you don't seem surprised."



"That's because I already knew about them," she admitted, taking the magazine from her and flipping it open. She felt her stomach turning at the pictures of the two of them that were never supposed to be seen by anybody but themselves.



"And you didn't tell me?" Kelly asked, looking at her in slight disbelief.



"No, Kell, it's not like that. I wasn't hiding anything from you. We just thought it would be best to wait to tell you until after your shows."



"We?"



"Ashley and I. She called me Friday when she found them at a magazine rack."



"Jill and Kate were with her that morning. Do they know too?"



"I don't know," Carrie shrugged, closing the magazine and handing it back to her as she sat down on the couch. "Probably."



"So, I'm the only person in the world that doesn't know about myown pictures?"



"Kelly, we were going to tell you. Don't make a big deal out of it," Carrie urged.



"Big deal? Carrie, you want to know how I found out about them?" Kelly questioned, still standing in front of her. "As soon as I got off the plane, I was bombarded with people asking me to sign things, nearly every single one of them was holding this magazine," she said, tossing it back onto the coffee table.



"I'm sorry, I really am," Carrie said softly. She reached out, taking her hand and tugging until she sat beside her.



Kelly sighed, "You know how much I hate it when you keep things from me."



"I know, and you're right, you are. We should've told you."



"Not we. You. You should've told me. You're the one that has to always be open with me, Care. Ok?"



"Ok," Carrie nodded.



"So...how did they get the pictures?" Kelly asked, rubbing her forehead tiredly.



"We have a theory."



"Of course," Kelly mumbled.



"Kell, you act like we were conspiring behind your back or something."



"I know. Sorry. I just..." she took a deep breath. "I was so worried about how you would react, and then you come in, and you don't even seem affected at all."



"It affects me," Carrie replied quickly. "Baby, I promise it affects me. It makes me sick to my stomach the thought of everybody seeing those pictures."



"Then why, for once, can't you act like it?" she asked, looking at her hurt.



Carrie gazed back at her, confused, "What are you talking about?"



"You never act like anything bothers you. I get it, you're trying to be strong and everything, but sometimes I need to see that it hurts you too, just as bad as it's hurting me. I need to see that I'm not the only one struggling here."



"Kell..." Carrie's heart dropped at the sight of the tears starting to fall down her girlfriend's cheeks. "Kell, I had no idea you felt like that. Why didn't you tell me?"



"Because I shouldn't have to tell you how to feel," her voice caught.



"Sweetie," Carrie reached out for her.



Kelly waved her off, sniffing, "I'm fine. It's fine."



"No, it's not," Carrie replied.



"What's y'alls theory on the pictures?" Kelly wiped her tears away, picking up the magazine again.



"Your mom," Carrie sighed.



"What?"



"We think...well, we're pretty sure, actually, that your mom sent them."



"Care, come on now, my mom?"



"It's the only possible explanation."



"There has to be someone else."



"We think she got the pictures when I found her snooping around your room--the last time you kicked her out of your house in Texas," Carrie explained.



"I don't think my mom would do this," Kelly shook her head, studying the front page of the magazine.



"Why not? After everything else she's done?"



"Look, I know my mom has done some pretty shitty things, but she would never hurt me like this."



"Hurt you? Kell, she's hurt you plenty. Every time she magically just pops up out of nowhere like she has some huge radar telling her how happy we are, you can't tell me that doesn't hurt you. The things she says? I know they kill you. Not to mention she put you in actual physical danger with those protestors, so yea, Kell, I think she would hurt you like this. This seems exactly like something she'd do."



"My mom wouldn't do this," Kelly replied, her voice shaking.



"Kell--"



"No," Kelly stood up as Carrie reached for her again. "It was not my mom. Come up with something else."



Carrie watched in incredulity as she walked out of the room.



++++++++++



"Where's Kelly?" Ashley asked Carrie as the country singer sat next to her in a chair on the back patio.



"Probably still locked in her room."



"Does she need a key or something to get out?"



"No, she didn't lock herself in...she locked me out. Or at least I think she did. I didn't try the door knob. There were just these major go away vibes coming from it."



"What happened?"



"You didn't fly back with her this morning?"



"No," Ashley shook her head. "Last night after the show. I had some stuff I needed to do this morning."



"She found out about the pictures."



"How'd she take it?"



"She's pretty upset that we didn't tell her, or that I didn't tell her I should say. She doesn't like the fact that I kept something from her, but apparently you can keep things from her, and it's all fine and dandy."



Ashley raised an eyebrow.



"Sorry. But yea, she's upset because I didn't tell her. She's really, really upset about the pictures leaking. She's upset because she thinks it doesn't bother me, and that I don't show enough emotion while she's the one nearly having a break down, yet she refused to let me touch her. Then she won't even think that her mom may have had something to do with it. She acted like her mom was some saint or something, and she's upset at me for even suggesting it. Did I mention she's upset?"



Ashley sighed, "Ok, one thing at a time. She's upset because you didn't tell her. Did you try to tell her why you didn't tell her?"



"Yea, but by then she had already realized that you and Jill and Kate all knew, so she probably felt a little betrayed by that. And like I said, she's afraid of me keeping things from her, but I mean, I'd never lie to her. She has to know that by now."



"Yea, but like you said, she's really, really upset about the pictures leaking."



"I think that's what probably set it all off," Carrie nodded.



"And then, because it doesn't bother you?"



"Of course it bothers me," she groaned. "A lot of things bother me, but I try so hard to keep it together for her because I thought that's what she needed, someone to be strong for her, but instead she sees it as me not feeling the same as she does."



"And, she doesn't believe that her mom sent in the pictures?" Ashley questioned.



"She said her mom wouldn't hurt her like that."



"Where has she been the past few months?"



"But I think, at the same time, there was something in her, telling her that her mom would do something like this which probably made it worse for her."



"This turned out way worse than I thought possible," Ashley shook her head.



"What do I do to fix this?" Carrie looked at her pleadingly.



"I don't know where to begin," she admitted. "I don't even know what you're supposed to be fixing. I mean, ok, maybe we were wrong for not telling her, but I don't see how she could just take everything out on you like that. Wrong place, wrong time, I guess."



"I don't understand why she would refuse to even consider that her mom sent in those pictures."



"You know Jeanne and Kelly were super close before all of this, right?"



"Yea, her mom was like her hero almost."



"Maybe she's just having trouble letting go of that."



"She's had trouble before with it, but not to the point of denial."



"I don't know what to tell you."



"That's ok," Carrie nodded as she stood. "Thanks for listening."



"Where are you going?"



"Back to my old house. My manager's living there now. I'm sure there's plenty I could be doing besides sitting here, going in circles about this."



"I don't think you should leave," Ashley frowned.



"She's not coming out any time soon," Carrie said, knowingly.



"You're coming back tonight, though, right?"



Carrie sighed, "We'll see."



"Carrie," Ashley began to protest, but the blonde stopped her.



"You know, Kelly and I have been with each other twenty-four seven for a long time now. Maybe we just need one night of complete breathing room, you know? Clear our thoughts, so we can get back to normal."



"If she asks?"



"You can tell her where I'm at," Carrie nodded before walking back into the house to get her keys.



++++++++++



"You're up really early," Ashley commented as she walked into the kitchen to find Kelly eating a bowl of cereal.



"Carrie didn't come to bed last night, and she's not in the spare bedroom or on the couch," Kelly replied, a nervousness to her voice. "Do you know where she is?"



"She's fine," Ashley assured her. "She went over to her old place to get some work done with Tony. She probably slept there."



"She should've called or something," Kelly frowned. "I was worried all night. I barely slept."



Ashley studied her tentatively, "She thought maybe you could both do some good from a night apart. Fresh air, and all that."



Kelly stabbed at her cereal with her spoon.



"Is everything ok?" Ashley asked.



"I just really wanted to see her this morning," she admitted softly.



"She'll be back soon," Ashley promised.



+++++++++



"Thank you so much," Carrie grinned as she walked into Kelly's room, hanging up her cell phone.



"Care?" Kelly immediately jumped up from her desk.



"Hey."



"I'm so sorry," Kelly apologized, hugging her tightly, burying her face in her shoulder.



"You look upset," Carrie noted her bloodshot eyes. "What's wrong?"



Kelly pulled back, noticing the country singer's eyes were still dancing, "You look happy."



"Yea, that was a call from one of the guys at the label. 'All-American Girl' is flying up the charts."



"Good," Kelly nodded.



"Kell, what's wrong?"



"What's wrong? Care, I missed you. I was worried sick last night when you didn't come to bed and I couldn't find you anywhere in the house."



"I told Ashley to tell you," she replied, her eyes falling to the floor.



"That what? That you ran off?"



"I didn't run off. I just went get some work done."



"You should've called me," she teared up.



"Ok, I agree, I was wrong for leaving like I did. I should've called," Carrie nodded, wrapping her arms around her, relieved when she didn't pull away. "But what has gotten into you the past couple days?"



"Where were you Saturday night?" her voice cracked.



"I went out with Keith and Nicole and our bands. I told you we might do that, you know, to celebrate the opening shows and stuff."



"I-I called you, and you didn't answer...I was having a really rough night, and I...I called you, and I got your voicemail, and you didn't call me back."



"I'm so sorry," Carrie replied sincerely. She pulled her towards the bed where she sat down, leaning against the headboard. "Come here."



Kelly allowed the country singer to pull her onto her lap. She sat sideways, not quite able to meet her eye.



"Now, I really am sorry for not answering Saturday, and for not calling you back, but I'm here now, right? So why don't you tell me what happened so I can make it better, ok?"



"I found this magazine..."



"The one with our pictures," Carrie replied gently.



But Kelly shook her head, nodding to the bedside table. Carrie reached over, picking up the magazine that was turned upside down. She felt her heart sink in realization as she saw the picture of her and Tony Romo dancing close together. She flipped open to the article, reading it to herself.



Trouble In Paradise?



If the two most successful Idol Alums have been dating since last summer like they've led us to believe, then why were Carrie Underwood and Tony Romo spotted in a firm lip lock at Carrie's CD release party last fall? Maybe, the rumors are true, and the couple isn't really a couple. Or maybe Kelly just needs to keep a better eye on her girl.



Carrie's gaze fell on the picture of her and Tony kissing in the middle of the dance floor.



"Kell, you knew about this. You were there when it happened. I explained it all to you," Carrie pointed out.



"I know, but it still hurt like hell to see it."



"I'm sorry," Carrie whispered, running her fingers through the Texan's hair and kissing her temple. "What else happened?"



"My mom called," she replied, her voice barely audible.



"You answered?"



"It's the first time she called in months. I had to make sure nobody was hurt or anything."



Carrie nodded in understanding, waiting patiently for her to continue.



"She apologized."



"She what?"



"My mom apologized. She said she was sorry...for all of it. She said that it hurt her to know how much she had upset me, and that she wanted to meet with us...maybe have a fresh start."



"Is that why you got so offended when I suggested your mom sent in those pictures?" Carrie asked, rubbing a hand up and down her back.



Kelly curled up, snuggling into her as she rested her head in the crook of the country singer's neck, "If she's apologizing, why would she do something like that?"



"And you believe her? That she's really sorry for everything?"



"What other choice do I have?"



Carrie wrapped her arms around her tightly, hugging her close, "So, you feel a little better now that we talked?"



"Not really."



"Not really?"



"You looked happy when you came in."



Carrie frowned, realizing she had missed the intent on Kelly's comment earlier. She hadn't been asking why. She had been answering her question.



"I seriously, seriously missed you last night," Kelly admitted, her voice thick as she fought back more tears. "That was the fourth night we'd been apart. We haven't been apart that long since my last tour. But the first nights I could deal with because at least then I got to hear you tell me you love me. Last night, I had no clue where you were, or how mad you were at me, or if you were even coming back today, or if maybe you had gotten hurt or something. I was so nervous, I was literally sick this morning....And you were happy."



Carrie sighed, "I wish you could've seen inside my head at that moment to know exactly how untrue that last statement is."



"But that's just it, Care. I can't read your mind. You...you're always telling me how much you love me and how happy you are and how perfect everything is, but everything's not always going to be perfect all the time, and I need you to tell me about those moments too. I mean, grant it, I could probably tell you less about those moments, but I just, I need to know that you miss me like I miss you, even when things aren't good between us...especially when it's not good between us."



"Alright, but same goes for you, ok? If I do something to upset you, and this isn't the first time you've done this, so if I do something to upset you, you have to tell me. Like you said, I can't read your mind. And you just going off on me doesn't do either of us any good, ok?"



"Ok," Kelly nodded, wrapping her arms around her, sniffing back tears.



"I love you."



"I love you too."



"I missed you so much last night," Carrie whispered, kissing her forehead.