Playing With Fire

+++++++++++



Carrie smiled as she heard Kelly rambling quickly into the phone.



"Hey baby girl, just wanted to tell you I miss you, especially right now. This stripping thing is so much harder without you. Who would've thought? Ashley's gonna kill me when she sees my hair. Oh shit. I'm stuck. I'm stuck. I can't get my shirt off. It's stuck on my head. Care, I got to go. I love you so much."



"Love you too," Carrie laughed before hanging up. She could just about imagine Kelly walking around backstage with her shirt raised over her head, unable to get it off.



"Carrie?"



Carrie looked up at the small techie, "Hey."



"Hey, I was told to tell you we're about to head out. You should probably be getting on your bus."



"Oh, ok, thanks," she nodded, watching him walk away. She walked to her bus and up the stairs, the silence of it hitting her hard. She couldn't remember a single night where at least two of her band members hadn't been on the bus with her, playing games or telling lame stories. She decided to curl up in one of the bunks, at least that way she didn't have to wake up to a huge empty bed.



++++++++++



Kelly frowned as she ducked into a small shop with Ashley and Jill and Kate who she invited to join them on the last two stops. She felt the two backup singers had just as much right to be at the party as the rest of her band, even if they didn't sing on the tour.



"Since when is there paparazzi in Arkansas?" she asked, smiling apologetically at the store owner who was gazing out the window at the flashing cameras in shock. He quickly pulled the curtains, giving them some privacy.



"Since you've become one half of the hottest couple in music," Kate shrugged, already starting to look through the tops. "You're fascinating to them now."



"I don't like being fascinating," Kelly replied, nodding at a shirt she had pulled out. "That's cute. You should try it on."



"I do not appreciate them calling me Carrie though," Kate looked at her with a grin. "I'm so not kissing you, no matter what else they offer."



"Shut up," Kelly pushed her playfully.



"You think they would do their homework," Ashley shook her head, watching as Jill tried on a pair of sunglasses. "I mean, where's Carrie playing tonight?"



"Atlantic City, New Jersey."



"I love that you know her schedule better than your own," she laughed.



"Well, I don't need to know mine," Kelly shrugged.



"I'm not gonna point out how little sense that made."



"You know what I meant."



"Not really."



Kelly rolled her eyes, laughing.



"Anyway, the point is, she's in New Jersey tonight. She was in..."



"Pennsylvania."



"She was in Pennsylvania last night. Why the heck would the girl be in Arkansas this morning. Did they fail geography or something?"



"Or maybe they just know how much she loves her," Kate batted her eyelashes.



"Y'all are just totally jealous cause my girlfriend is insanely hot."



Kate and Ashley laughed, "Yea."



Kelly smiled, turning to Jill who was trying on a different pair of sunglasses, "I liked the first ones better."



"Me too. But I can't find them."



"You can't be serious," she grinned. "How can you lose a pair of sunglasses before you even buy them?"



"It's definitely a gift," Kate teased.



Kelly's smile widened as her phone started to ring.



Kate looked over her shoulder, "It's lover girl."



"Yea," she beamed, answering the phone. "Hey Care...Care, what's wrong?...No, baby, you have to calm down, ok? Deep breaths..." she instructed as soothingly as possible. She reached out, gripping onto Kate's arm as her face paled. "Care, I can't understand you when you're crying so hard...Ok, ok, look, listen to me, ok?...Care, listen, I love you, alright? Now, just take a deep breath, and start from the beginning."



Kate placed her hand over Kelly's. The short Texan's eyes were narrowed fiercely, yet she was swaying on the spot.



"Baby..." Kelly's eyes closed, her heart breaking for her girlfriend. "Just come meet me, ok?...No, don't even worry about any of that. Just catch the first flight here, alright?...I love you, so much, ok? You got that?...Good, I'll see you soon."



"What happened?" Ashley asked worriedly as Kelly hung up the phone.



"Carrie was kicked off her tour," Kelly replied, her voice shaking. "Because of us."



"KC," Kate frowned, pulling her into a hug. She could feel her tears against her shirt. "It's gonna be ok. You just can't blame yourself for this. This isn't either of y'alls fault."



"I just need to hold her right now," she admitted.



"It's ok. You'll see her soon."



++++++++++



"Kelly," Reba looked at her, clearly concerned as they finished rehearsals. "I heard what happened. This can't be right. I don't see how they can do this to her. I'm sure Narvel--"



Kelly put a hand up, stopping her, "Reba, I seriously appreciate it, but before anything else happens, I just want to see her and make sure she's ok and find out what really happened."



Reba nodded in understanding, "That's probably best. I'll come check on you later, ok?"



"Yea, thanks," she smiled politely before walking off the stage.



She made her way to the dressing room, freezing as she walked inside.



"I was able to get on an earlier flight," Carrie said softly, standing from the sofa.



"Care, I'm so sorry," Kelly replied honestly, crossing the room to pull her into a warm hug. "I know nothing I can say will make this hurt even less, but I am so sorry."



Carrie buried her face in the shorter girl's neck, wrapping her arms around her tightly.



"What do you need right now?" Kelly asked. "Are you hungry or anything? I can get Jay to go pick you up something to eat or drink. Or do you want to lay down for a bit? Take a nap. How about shoes? New shoes always make me feel better. Or hot chocolate. Seriously, anything. Name it. It's yours. I'll buy a small country and name it after you if you want."



Carrie laughed softly through her tears as she continued to hug her.



"Or we can just stay like this if it makes you feel better."



Carrie nodded, closing her eyes as Kelly swayed them slowly from side to side, "Sing to me?"



"What do you want me to sing?"



"That song you sang to Emma when we were at my house and you were putting her to bed...remember?"



Kelly nodded, guiding them over to the couch. She pulled Carrie down with her, making sure she was comfortable as they laid down together. She began to sing the lullaby softly, her cheek pressed against Carrie's, her lips right next to her ear as she rubbed her back comfortingly. She continued to sing even after the country singer's breathing had evened out, unwilling to stop doing the one thing her girlfriend had requested of her.



++++++++++



"Ok," Ashley whispered with a nod as she pulled back.



Kelly looked into the mirror and gave her an approved smile.



"You ready to go?"



"Yea," Kelly said softly, turning to where Carrie still lay sleeping on the couch, a blanket wrapped tightly around her as she snuggled into a pillow that Kelly had given her to take her place. "Just let me tell her."



Ashley nodded, gathering all her stuff before exiting the room quietly.



Kelly walked over to the sofa, kneeling down so that she would be eye level with her as she pushed a blonde curl off of her face.



Carrie's eyes opened slowly.



"Hey," Kelly smiled gently. "You doing ok?"



Carrie nodded.



"Ok, well I've got to go do the show now. Are you going to be ok in here by yourself? Jill and Kate are here, I'm sure one of them wouldn't mind coming keep you some company."



"No, it's ok," she replied softly. "I'm just gonna go back to sleep."



"Ok," Kelly nodded, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "Love you."



"Love you too. Have a good s-show," Carrie's eyes started to tear up.



"Shh...don't even think about it, alright? You just sleep, and I'll be back soon. We can talk about it tonight if you want."



Carrie nodded.



"Good," she kissed her forehead once more.



+++++++++



Carrie grumbled, rubbing her eyes at the sound of someone opening the door loudly.



"Oh, Carrie, sorry dear," Jeanne smiled as she walked into the dressing room. "I didn't know you were here."



"It's ok," Carrie replied stretching as she sat up.



"Aren't you supposed to be on tour? What happened?"



"It, uh, it didn't work out."



"Ah, well, don't take it hard. Not everybody's cut out for the music business, you know."



Carrie bit her tongue.



"Do you know where Ashley keeps her smaller makeup bag? She asked me to run grab it."



Carrie pointed to the counter.



"Thanks sweetie."



Carrie nodded, watching as she walked out, "Bitch."



++++++++++



Kelly smoothed her hands over Carrie's pajama clad thighs as they both sat indian style on the bed, facing each other.



"This sucks so much," Carrie admitted, shaking her head.



"I don't understand how they could do this," Kelly replied. "I mean, this can't be legal."



"The sponsors threatened to pull out if Keith didn't find a new act," Carrie explained. "They didn't say it was because of us. They said it was because my CD isn't selling like they thought it would."



"Care, that's complete bull shit. You're CD's doing great. It's kicking mine's ass."



Carrie shrugged.



"What did Keith say? I mean, I seriously can't see him going along with this."



"He didn't. He said he'd just pay for it all himself if that's what it came down to. He wasn't going to tell me to leave."



"Then what happened?"



"I couldn't do that to him, Kell. That's a lot of money, not to mention he'd ruin his relationship with his sponsors, and I know how important that is for an artist."



"Your fans are gonna be pretty upset," Kelly noted carefully.



"A little, but they still get to see Keith Urban in concert. Who in their right mind wouldn't want to see that?"



"It was a hard decision to make?"



"Oh God, Kell, it gutted me. I mean, you know what it's like. Touring is everything. It's why we became singers in the first place--to be able to be out there and have our songs heard in the purest of forms."



Kelly nodded, reaching out to wipe a tear off the country singer's cheek, "I know. I do know a thing or two about cancelling tours, you know?"



"Yea...you did the right thing, you know. I don't think we ever really talked about that."



"You did the right thing too," Kelly replied. "And I know it may not feel like it, but you did."



"What am I supposed to do know?"



"Get in touch with your management. Set up a solo tour for the summer."



"I've never done a solo tour."



"Then, I think it's about time, don't you? That way everything is done by your rules, nobody else's."



Carrie sniffed, nodding.



"So...can I have a kiss now?"



Carrie laughed softly as she leaned forward, pressing their lips together.



Kelly smiled, bringing a hand up to cradle the taller girl's face as they broke apart, "Everything is going to be ok. I know it sucks right now, and I know it hurts like hell, and you're feeling majorly lost, but it will get better. When this all works out, you'll see that you did the right thing."



Carrie gave a small smile, kissing her again before climbing onto her lap and snuggling into her.



Kelly wrapped her arms around her, kissing her temple, "I wish I could've been there with you."



"You're here with me know. That's all I care about."



Kelly kissed her cheek as she hugged her tighter.



++++++++++



"Come on girlie, cheer up," Kate smiled, nudging Carrie playfully as she and Jill sat beside her on the bus. "There's a party tonight."



"I'm not really in the mood to party," Carrie replied.



"Yea, we heard about the tour," Jill nodded. "We're sorry, Carrie. That has to really suck."



Carrie looked at them curiously, "Y'all were there when Kelly cancelled her tour last year, right?"



"Yep," Kate nodded.



"How'd she take it?"



"It completely tore her up," Kate admitted. "She wanted so much to just get out there and sing, and she felt so bad for disappointing her fans, but she knew it was all too much too soon."



"Not that she ever showed that," Jill added.



"What do you mean?" Carrie asked.



"You know how she is," Kate shrugged. "She doesn't like people to know when she's hurting. She became closed off for a bit, worked through it on her own. Not nearly as bad as the summer before though."



"You knew her then?"



"Yea, we met for the hazel eyes tour. We weren't as close back then as we are now, but everybody knew that something was wrong."



Carrie nodded, "She was still a bit pulled back when we started dating last summer."



"It's hard for anybody to let new people in," Jill replied. "But right then, she was going through a lot of things, especially dealing with trust. I mean, I'm sure you've heard about her old manager and how he was, right?"



Carrie nodded.



"And then of course her record label thoroughly screwing her over by not promoting her record like they promised to, and she had found out a couple of her 'friends' were just using her."



"Seriously," Kate patted her knee. "She was really lost for a while there. It's a wonder she even let you in at all."



Carrie smiled softly, nodding.



"Is she still closed off with you?" she asked curiously. "Oh wow. I'm sorry, that's like getting too personal, huh?"



"No, it's fine," Carrie assured her. "And no, she's not. I mean, there are times when she tries to be, but I as soon as I call her on it, she stops."



"You're gonna take care of her, right?" Jill studied her carefully. "I mean, that's all any of us want for her...somebody to watch out for her, cause Lord knows she can't do it herself."



Carrie laughed, "Yea, and yes, I'll take care of her."



"Good," Kate smiled, squeezing her knee gently. "We've got to go find Jill a new pair of sunglasses. She's already lost the ones she bought yesterday. Check you later."



"Bye y'all," she waved.



+++++++++



Kelly smiled as she saw Carrie take her familiar spot in the front row as she and Reba finished up the sound check for that day. "Hey you," she greeted, hopping off the stage. "It's so good to have you back."



Carrie nodded, kissing her adoringly.



"Oh, wow," Kelly giggled as she pulled back, her hands resting on Carrie's upper arms. "What was that for?"



"For loving me," she replied honestly.



"Care..." Kelly smiled.



"No, I'm serious," she looked her in the eye. "I'm always telling you how much I love you, and how much you mean to me, but I don't think I ever tell you how much it means to me that you love me back, and how truly thankful I am for that."



"How could I not love you?" Kelly asked curiously, reaching up to run a finger of the country singer's bottom lip.



Carrie's heart melted as she pulled her in for another kiss.



"But hey," Kelly grinned as they broke the kiss. "If it keeps getting me kisses like that, I'll gladly remind you in every spare second I have just how much I love you."



Carrie smiled, "Why?"



"Why what?"



"Why do you love me? I mean, you could love anybody in the whole world...why me?"



"How could I not love you?" she repeated. "I mean, you have everything that I'd want the person I'll be spending the rest of my life with to have...and so much more. I could've never dreamed of someone as incredible as you even if I tried, Care."



Carrie grinned, wrapping her arms around her waist firmly as she picked her up, spinning her around.



"Care..." she laughed as Carrie placed her back down on the ground. "What's up with the happy mood all of a sudden?"



"Just had a reality check of sorts, and I realized how lucky I am to have you."



"Now you do know that I'm the lucky one in this situation, right?"



"If that's what you want to believe," Carrie laughed, kissing her forehead. "Come on, let's go get some supper. I'm starved."