The Winter Guest *Complete*

Chapter 8



Things that happened during night time always seem different when daylight arrives. Most of the time it seems like nothing happened.



An annoying beep coming from something I do not recognise wakes me. No alarm in my bedroom beeps, buzzes or rings because if that is the first sound I hear when I wake up, my mood is instantly bad. The alarm clock with built in radio is, according to me, one of the best inventions ever. The beep doesn’t stop and it’s coming from somewhere very close. Alan stirs and I see him grab his wrist. His watch. There is silence once again, and as I let my mind go through all the things that happened last night, my cheeks flush red. Then I remember the other part. It’s like it never happened. But when I stumble to the toilet and see my reflection in the mirror, I have the red, puffy eyes to match the story. Including the pounding head. I find an old t-shirt and some clean knickers and slip them on.



I searched through my closet in the bathroom. Where are the bloody aspirins. My head is throbbing. I finally get my hands on a little sachet that looks like a sugar bag. A thousand milligrams is way too much but I put it in a glass anyway adding some water and downing it at once.



“You should never take medication on an empty stomach you know.” Alan leaned against the door of the bathroom dressed in only jeans. His eyes were small. He looked tired. He still looked gorgeous though.





Knowing he’s right I decided not to reply. “ You ok?” he asked when I stood there holding on to the sink and looking at my bloodshot eyes in the mirror. “ More or less.” I answer. “What time is it?”. “Nearly 8 in the morning.” He replied. I moaned and considered taking the day off. It was Saturday, normally my paperwork day.



“I’m going to take a shower, over at my room.” Alan picked up pieces of clothing lying around the kitchen and my bedroom.



“Look, Alan, I didn’t plan for last night to end like this.”



“Last night wasn’t really planned at all was it?” He grinned at me.



“I usually don’t do things like this you know.” I avoided his eyes carefully.



“Neither do I.”



“I wanted it to happen you know, it’s just, I couldn’t at that moment. I never felt what I felt before I… you know… that was a good feeling. I wanted it to last, but…. “ I heard myself rambling and Alan’s serious face didn’t make it easier. How could I tell him I wanted to see him again without making a complete fool out of myself?



“Kate, it’s alright. It’s a good thing it didn’t happen last night. I wanted it too, don’t get me wrong, I just think it’s better if we wait a while. See where things take us. I’m not sure if I am ready to do this.”



Completely dumbstruck I looked at him. Insecurity was not anything I had expected to find in him. He was such an adult, so preserved, so sure of himself, so much wiser than me. Did he regret last night?



“I didn’t lie though when I said I liked you, I really do, and I want to spent more time with you, getting to know each other.” His face finally relaxed and he pulled me away from the sink and I settled in his arms. “ I don’t know you Kate, but you make me feel….” He let out a sigh and seconds later his soft lips touched mine. As he placed a gentle kiss on my lips I was comforted in some way. He wanted to see me again, he liked me but there was something that he wasn’t telling me. I sensed it. I let go of him and touched his face. His unshaven chin made him even more sexy. I traced the soft lines around his eyes.

“It’s ok,“ I whispered, not really sure what I was ok with but he smiled. “Go shower!” I pushed him towards my door as he quickly put on his shirt.



“Bye beautiful.” I flushed as he opened the door and I couldn’t think of what to say so he left with a stupid “Bye…you” from my side.

Closing the door behind him, I leaned against it. Sighing deeply I still felt his hands on my skin. “Mr. Rickman, what are you doing to me?”









As I lingered in my office I felt totally useless. I picked up some papers en replaced them. I put on my computer and watched the screen come to life. I didn’t really get on with my work, and every now and then found myself staring to the screen. My mind had conjured up a hundred reasons why Alan wasn’t sure he was ready for this. Almost automatically I retrieved the internet address where I had first seen Alan’s picture. Seeing his face on the computer was strange. It was like that was a different Alan. I didn’t know what I was looking for but I scrolled through the pages. The list of films he was in seemed endless, why had I never ever seen him before? I smirked when I read Alan Sidney Patrick. But immediately felt like an intruder. Why didn’t I just ask him these things? Why was I looking this up on the internet. Hadn’t he said he wanted to get to know me? He probably hadn’t meant me going online and finding his full name there.



Nearly clicking the little, red cross in the upper right corner I saw a little sentence below the biography:



“ Spouse: none, but currently living with…”



I didn’t finish it and clicked.



So that was it. That’s why he walked out on me after that kiss, that’s why he was not ready. How could he ever be ready while living with somebody else?? I thought that in these sort of situations, you felt like the world collapsed around you, but it didn’t. I felt shame and anger rising to my cheeks.



Of course, it had been too good to be true.

With a loud “Shit!” I threw the nearest item at the wall. It was a DVD.







(this should have been longer, but my schoolwork is suffering a little, there's more to come real soon. Thanks for all of you who read and reviewed!)