Forbidden

A/N: I'm sorry, it's been a long time since my last update. But I've really been busy with school... -_-


Chapter 8


"Umm... Kaoru? Have you ever thought... We are quite good guitarists", Daisuke muttered next day in school when they were walking towards mathematics class. Kaoru was already feeling better so he had come to school even though his nose still hurt much. "And... I think we should use our skills somehow. Let's found a band!"

"A band? With only two people?! Damn you're stupid, Dai!" Kaoru laughed and shook his head.

"Why not? We could... we could find other talents. Don't you understand? We just need to ask someone and... I'm sure someone would-"

"Daisuke! You are the one who doesn't understand. Everybody hates us, we are nerts, geeks or what ever. I'm sorry to tell you but no one would want to be in a same band with us."

"Shinya can play drums", Daisuke said immediately.

"Wow what a band! Two guitarists and a drummer!" Kaoru laughed. Daisuke looked disappointed. "What's wrong with you, Kaoru? Why are you acting so..."

"Nothing's wrong with me..." Kaoru answered. Daisuke couldn't believe it because soon Gackt walked past them and smiled at them, looking at Kaoru softly. And Kaoru blushed right away.

"Hello, boys", their teacher said smiling and added: "Yesterday was fun. Let's do it again some time, Kaoru." And then he continued to walk away. Daisuke's jaw dropped and he told Kaoru to stop walking. "What was that?! What did Gackt-sensei mean? What happened yesterday?!"

"What? I got hit by Mitsuya, remember?" Kaoru answered quietly, not looking at his friend. Daisuke shook his head and glared at him. "I don't think that was what Gackt meant. I don't think he thinks that was fun. What is happening between you two?! I'm becoming very worried! I have a right to know!"

***

Kaoru was knocking on his teacher's door. It was a couple minutes over seven o'clock so he was a little bit late. He had left from home early but there had been so much rush on the streets that he had to wait and...

The door opened and Gackt was standing in front of him, looking at him with that familiar smile on his lips that almost never faded. The older man told him to step in and closed the door behind them. Kaoru looked at his teacher shyly from head to toes, Gackt looked so different at home. He had light blue jeans and a tight black top. Kaoru couldn't help looking at his muscular chest.

He look so sexy, he thought and blushed. So damn sexy. He noticed that Gackt had showered because he smelled so good.

No, I can't be like this, I can't be gay. At least I can't be in love with my teacher. We are just friends, we have a student-teacher relationship. What is wrong with me?!

"Come in! I made some curry nodles", Gackt said smiling. Kaoru nodded, looking at his feet. Damn he felt nervous! He had visited Gackt before but it had been different. He had been doing some homeworks with his teacher but now... Wait a minute, was this... some kind of a... date?!

"Kaoru, come. Let's go eat", Gackt sighed and took his hand on his own, leading him through the kitchen to dining room. There was a huge table with two plates and glasses on it and the smell of food was so good. Food waited on the table and Kaoru felt an odd weakness on his knees. Gackt pulled a chair for him and pointed it smiling, saying: "Sit down."

"O-okay..."

***

After eating they were watching television and laughing together a lot, sitting near each other in the sofa. They also ate some chips that Gackt had bought. Kaoru felt SO nervous when he was sitting so close to his teacher. His heart was beating so fast... Was he in love with his teacher? Why was he feeling like this? This was wrong. Wait a second, why was Gackt coming to sit even closer to him? Their knees where already touching each others! And... Gackt was looking at him very strangely. What was happening?! Feeling too awkward he stood up from the sofa and whispered: "I... I think I should go now..."

"What? You just came..." Gackt breathed, looking at him still in that strange way. "Don't leave. Not yet."

"Well, then I'll... go to bathroom", Kaoru muttered and walked quickly out of the livingroom, towards the bathroom, but he didn't really go there. Instead he stopped walking soon and leaned against some door in the hallway, closing his eyes. His whole body was shaking though nothing had happened. He had to calm down now! He had to.

"Kaoru." Kaoru opened his eyes and was staring at his teacher who was standing right in front of him. "Weren't you supposed to go to bathroom?"

Kaoru was speechless for a moment. "Sensei, I..."

"What's wrong?" Gackt sighed and took a step closer, now only few inches away from him, and lifted his hand to touch Kaoru's cheek. No, don't... Kaoru thought. No...

But it happened. Immediately Gackt pressed their lips together and hold his jaw in his hand. Oh no...

Gackt kissed him hard against the door and Kaoru couldn't help but to kiss back. There was just something in his teacher that he couldn't resist. So he answered to the kiss as well as he could. The kiss deepened and their tongues met, playing with each other.

Finally Gackt broke the kiss and looked at him straight into eyes. "God how I've wanted to do this... I've longed for this for so long", Gackt whispered and Kaoru's cheeks were burning of awkwardness. Was that really his teacher speaking to him like this?

"Sensei... I can't", Kaoru suddenly muttered and pulled away from his teacher, walking past him. This wasn't right. He had just realised something terrible.

Gackt grabbed his shoulder but he didn't dare to look at him. "What are you talking about? What is it that you can't do?" he heard Gackt asking.

"I can't do ANYTHING with you!" Kaoru answered. "This is so... wrong and I don't want this."

Gackt was quiet for a moment. Then he said with no clear expression: "I... I understand. It's okay, Kaoru. I'm sorry if I scared you. I just... couldn't help it anymore. You have no idea how I've wanted you. I had to tell, I couldn't pretend anymore. But I'm sorry. You don't have to be afraid, I won't touch you, I swear. And you don't have to do anything, I... I know what you think. And it is true. I'm an old, disgusting man. Perverted old man who is lusting after his student."

"No, that's not what I think", Kaoru breathed. "I don't think you're sick or anything. I just can't do this. It's because of... Yoshiki-sensei."

His teacher went silent. "What are you talking about?"

"What do you mean 'what are you talking about'?! Sensei, you were dating him! And this is the reason you two broke up. It's all my fault! I heard when you were fighting with him few days ago and... he said that you're lusting after your student. It's me, right? I don't wanna be the bad guy and..."

"Kaoru, look... You shouldn't have heard that. And it isn't your fault that we broke up, it didn't work between me and Yoshiki. We would have... broken up anytime. It wasn't because of you."

"Yes it was and I know it!"

"I... I didn't love Yoshiki, Kaoru. I didn't love him even though I said I loved him. I never loved him. I've always wanted you."

Kaoru was shocked. He couldn't believe what his teacher had just told him! So... Gackt-sensei had always wanted him and not Yoshiki? It was... sick.

"Why me? I don't understand... Why me, sensei?"

"Because you are something special. You are beautiful and... different than others... I want you all to myself." Kaoru still couldn't look at his teacher in the eyes.

"But what about Yoshiki-sensei?" Kaoru whispered quietly. "He already hates me. We can't do this... We can't do this to him."

"He knows that I want to be with you, he knows I didn't love him. He won't do anything, he can't do anything."

"I don't wanna hurt him!" Kaoru sobbed. Gackt pulled Kaoru close to him and watched deep into his eyes. Kaoru gulped and couldn't say a thing. "No one is hurting anyone. He has to understand and he will understand. I can't force myself to love him", Gackt said. "Don't you understand how much I have been hurt? You have no idea how it has felt to be near you every day, look at you, even touch you... and still I've known I can't be with you. I've wanted you since you were fourteen, Kaoru. It wouldn't hurt Yoshiki if we were together."

"Yes it would", Kaoru whispered. "It would hurt him too much. There is no way I'm going to--"

He was silenced by Gackt. "You're always thinking too much. You have a warm heart but you also have to think about yourself or you'll lose everything..."

"You think so...?"

"Yes." After that Gackt pressed his full lips against Kaoru's own and kissed him softly, not using any tongue. Kaoru kissed back. It felt so good even though it was so wrong. Not only was Gackt his teacher, he was also Yoshiki's ex-lover... But...

Kaoru broke the kiss and stared at his teacher for a moment before saying: "I love you, Gackt. If you really want me, I... I'm yours then."

***

Daisuke stared at his best friend in shock. Had he really heard him right? No, he had understood it wrong, he had to. There was no way Gackt would be in love with Kaoru, no way. Come on, Gackt was their teacher!

"What do you mean, Kaoru? What have you done with our teacher?! Are you having a secret relationship with Gackt?!" he asked horrified. "You are completely mental!"

"It's true. We are together with Gackt now. I think I love him..."

Daisuke shook his head, eyes wide with shock. "Who would have thought? I didn't know you're gay. But why with Gackt? What is it that you see in him? He is our teacher, you know! That is the sickest thing I've ever heard. You can't be with him."

"Why not? No one else knows. Except you."

"It is illegal, that's why! You are his STUDENT and he is too old! That is twisted!"

"Yes, he is older than me. He is almost thirty but it doesn't matter. I have to listen to my heart, not think about what others think..."

"He is over ten years older than you!!!"

"So what?!" Kaoru snapped. "I love him and I'm not going to end this just because he's a little older than me! Gackt has always been so good to me and he really wants me! No one has ever wanted me but he wants to make me happy! You have no right to tell me what to do! You are just jealous!"

"Me? Jealous? I'm jealous?! That's not true, Kao-kun! I'm just... worried about you. I don't want you to get into any trouble."

"I shouldn't have told you anything! I thought you would understand me but it seems I was wrong. You're my best friend and still you can't be happy for me."

"Calm down. I didn't want to make you mad... I'm sorry. Listen to me..."

"If I wanna be with Gackt, I am. Got it?" Kaoru snapped.

"Yeah... I really am sorry about everything I said. If you are happy with him, then I'm happy for you. Let's forget about this, okay? You can be with anyone you want. There is nothing to argue about."


TBC...


A/N: I promise I'll add the next chapter quicker than this one. -___- I'm really sorry you had to wait. T_T