Playing With Fire

hope y'all all have a merry christmas and happy holidays!



++++++++++



"Mom," Kelly took a step back, startled as she nearly ran into her mother in the hall. "H-hey."



"Kelly," Jeanne nodded.



"You, um, you slept good?"



"I slept fine," she replied. "We can all assume from last night that you slept well."



Kelly winced, "Mom, I'm so sorry. We just...we got carried away, and--"



Jeanne raised a hand to stop her, "Spare me the details."



Kelly's shoulders slumped as she watched her mom walk away.



Carrie frowned, walking up behind Kelly and wrapping her arms around her, "Sorry."



"It's not your fault," Kelly replied, sighing. "I should've stopped you last night."



Carrie raised an eyebrow as she turned the Texan around in her arms, "You should've stopped me? Since when am I not allowed to have sex with my girlfriend in our own home?"



"Care, my mom heard us."



"And? It's not like she didn't know we were sleeping together."



"We shouldn't have done it," Kelly shook her head.



"You regret it?" Carrie looked at her, hurt.



"Don't put words in my mouth," Kelly protested softly. "You know that's not true. I just think that we're both mature enough to have known better."



"Sorry for just wanting to help you relax."



"There are other ways to relax besides having sex."



"Since when did you become such a prude?"



It was Kelly's turn to look at her hurt.



Carrie closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, "I didn't mean that."



"Of course you didn't," Kelly replied, removing her arms from around her. "I'm gonna go find Jason. There's some stuff he wanted to go over about my schedule."



"Kell..." Carrie protested, reaching back for her.



"Not now, Carrie."



++++++++++



"Who ran over your puppy?" Ashley asked curiously as she sat beside Carrie in the living room.



Carrie's face turned white, "Ace?"



"No, no, I just saw him. He's sleeping on Jason's bed," Ashley quickly replied. "It's just an expression."



"Shoot," Carrie let out a shaky breath. "Don't use that expression again."



"Deal," Ashley nodded. "What I meant was, what's got you so down?"



"I think I had a fight with Kelly."



"You think?"



"Well, if there's no yelling, and no real arguing, is it really a fight?"



"Ooo, yea, those are the worst. Kelly's good at them too. It's those eyes, man. They can just as easily kill you as break your heart."



"Don't I know it," Carrie sighed.



"So what did you do?"



"I called her a prude."



Ashley hit her on the back of the head.



"What was that for?!" Carrie exclaimed, rubbing where she had been slapped.



"One, for being a dumbass, and two, I told you I'd kick your ass if you hurt her," Ashley replied. "Why the hell would you say something like that when you know how she feels about sex and all that? The girl's self-conscious enough as it is without you opening your big mouth."



"I'm sorry, ok? Her mom was just a bit short with her, and I was trying to cheer her up."



"By calling her a prude?"



"No, I apologized, and she said that last night was a mistake."



"A mistake?" Ashley looked at her with doubt.



"Ok, not a mistake, just that we shouldn't have done it because her mom. All I wanted to know was since when am I not allowed to sleep with my own girlfriend?"



Ashley shook her head, "You know you're sleeping on the couch tonight, right?"



"Yea, I figured that much from the look she gave me," she frowned. "How do I fix it?"



"What I want to know is when I'm gonna start getting paid extra for being y'alls love guru."



"Ashley..." Carrie fussed.



"Flowers would be a good start."



++++++++



Carrie knocked on the bathroom door nervously.



"Come in."



Carrie walked in to find Kelly wrapping a towel around herself. "Hey," she said, closing the door, keeping a hand behind her back.



"Hey."



"So, um, I'm really sorry about what I said."



"It's ok," Kelly replied, looking into the mirror.



"I got you something."



Kelly turned to her curiously.



Carrie smiled, showing her the small bouquet of flowers, "These are for you."



"Aw, Care..." Kelly smiled softly, accepting them. She dug around under the sink, pulling out a vase. "Thank you. They're beautiful."



Carrie's smile widened as she stepped behind the shorter girl.



Kelly looked up at the feeling of something cool being placed around her neck.



"This is for you too," Carrie replied, hooking the necklace for her.



"Care..." Kelly fingered the diamond cross.



"You don't like it?" Carrie asked, confused at the look on her face.



"It's beautiful."



"That's not an 'it's beautiful' smile."



"You shouldn't try to buy forgiveness."



"But the flowers..." Carrie pointed out. "You liked the flowers...stupid Ashley."



"Because the flowers are a romantic gesture, and what does Ashley have to do with it?"



"She told me to buy them. How are the flowers romantic and the necklace isn't?"



"Carrie, you're a girl," Kelly reminded. "How would you feel if whenever someone you dated did something to upset you, they just bought you something expensive to make up for it?"



"Like his whore," Carrie frowned.



"Well, I would've put it a little nicer, but yes," Kelly laughed softly. "And don't get me wrong, Care, the necklace is absolutely beautiful. I love it, and I love even more that you know my taste. I know you meant well, but whenever you give me something like this, I want to be able to feel happy and loved, not..."



"Cheap."



Kelly nodded, "Yea."



"I'm sorry."



"It's ok. We're both still learning, right?"



"Yea."



"Yea," Kelly smiled, kissing her softly.



Carrie smiled back, "So does this mean I'm not sleeping on the couch?"



"No, you still are."



"But...but the flowers," Carrie protested.



"That Ashley told you to get?"



"Dang it," Carrie cursed.



++++++++++



Kelly looked up at the knock on her door as she got comfortable in bed, "Hey Mom."



"Why is Carrie setting up shop downstairs?" Jeanne asked, curiously.



"We got into a bit of an argument, and after what she said, sharing a bed with her is not on my to-do list right now."



"I hope it's nothing serious."



"It's not."



"Oh."



"You could try and hide your disappointment, you know?"



"Now, Kelly..."



"It's not anything serious, but she did hurt me, and it's at times like this that I wish I had a parent figure to turn to for advice."



Jeanne shifted uncomfortably where she stood.



"Too bad I don't have that, right Mom?" Kelly's jaw clenched.



"Kelly," Jeanne shook her head.



"Don't worry about it," she replied, looking up at her, trying to fight her tears. "I know you don't approve. And I mean, it's not like you'd be any good at giving at advice anyway, right? Two divorces and all that. Not the best track record you've got there."



"I'm going to go to bed," Jeanne replied carefully.



Kelly nodded, not caring about the hurt look in her mother's eyes, knowing it wasn't even an ounce of what her mom had put her through the past few months.



+++++++++



Carrie shifted on the sofa, trying to get comfortable. She looked at her phone that read two a.m. and cursed. A movement caught her eye, and she smiled at the sight of someone walking into the dark room. She raised up her blanket, allowing the short Texan to lay down, snuggling into her.



"I couldn't sleep," Kelly mumbled.



"You've been crying," Carrie noted, tilting her head up so she could look at her.



"What you said...it really hurt."



"I know, and Kell, you have to know that I am so sorry and that I didn't mean it at all."



"But you still said it."



"I know," Carrie rubbed her back, soothingly.



"I don't regret last night," Kelly shook her head. "In fact, given the chance, I would've done the same thing all over again. I was just upset because of my mom."



"And I knew that, I was just...I was being stupid."



"I'm sorry."



"Me too."



Kelly touched her cheek as she leaned up to kiss her.



Carrie tucked her hair behind her ear as they pulled back, "So, why the tears?"



"I was rude to my mom. Said some stupid things which made me realize, that even though they were stupid, they were true."



"Well, if they're true then they weren't stupid."



"I don't want to end up like her," Kelly admitted. "And I know that's horrible to say, but it's true. I'm scared I'm gonna end up like her."



"Like her?"



"She's had two failed marriages, Care. She can't seem to make a relationship work. She's all alone, and I'm just like her."



"Two? She and your stepdad aren't together anymore?"



Kelly shook her head, "They divorced a few years ago."



"You never told me that."



"Never really talked about it. It sucked when it happened because I was starting to become famous, and I didn't know who to turn to because I was so scared of my family's personal business ending up on the front page of some magazine, and I didn't want that."



"Yea," Carrie nodded. "You still call Jimmy dad, though."



"He did help raise me," Kelly noted.



Carrie reached down, kissing her forehead, "Well, unless you have two ex-husbands that I don't know about, you are not anything like her."



"No, that's not what I meant. I...I suck at relationships. I run from anyone that gets too close. I...I suck at commitment. I'm just not made to be with somebody."



Carrie smiled, "I think you're forgetting something."



"What?"



"You've tried to run...several times, but I didn't let you. I won't let you. You don't suck at commitment, you're just scared of it, but that's normal. And you may have sucked at your past relationships, but trust me, this is one relationship that you do not suck at. In fact, you're quite amazing at it."



Kelly looked at her nervously.



"You were made to be with somebody...me."



"You think so?"



"Yea," Carrie nodded, brushing a tear off of Kelly's cheek. "I know you've been through a lot with your family, and I know that makes you hesitant and scared, but Kell, I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not gonna allow you to either. You can't run if I'm holding on to you, right?"



"You'd do that?"



"I don't think you understand. I can't not do that. You mean everything to me. I can't afford to lose you."



Kelly sniffed as her fingers absentmindedly played with the necklace Carrie had given her earlier, "I love you."



"I love you too."



"Can I sleep with you on the sofa?"



"Of course," Carrie laughed softly, kissing her forehead as she snuggled back into her.



+++++++++



Carrie smiled at the feeling of Kelly's lips grazing her neck, her fingers dancing beneath her shirt. "You definitely know how to wake somebody up," she mumbled.



Kelly giggled softly against her skin, tilting the country singer's head back. Carrie rubbed her back encouragingly as Kelly's lips paused right on the side of her throat, pressing against her pulse point. The sound of something dropping loudly against the floor caused them both to look up.



"Mom?" Kelly questioned, still a bit groggy from waking up. She noticed Jeanne's luggage by the door as her mother stood there impatiently. "Where are you going?"



"I can not stay here, not in this house."



"What's wrong with this house?" Kelly asked, pushing the blanket off of her and Carrie and standing up.



Jeanne didn't say anything, as she looked behind Kelly at Carrie.



"Mom," Kelly said in disbelief.



"She...she's changed you. She's corrupted you, and I am not going to sit by and watch."



"She hasn't corrupted me."



"The Kelly I know wouldn't talk to me like she did last night."



"Were you there at all when I was in middle school?" Kelly questioned. "Because I remember saying some things along those same lines that were way harsher."



"Yes, but you are an adult now. You are a level-headed adult, at least you were till you started hanging out with her."



"Mom, come on, I'm sorry about last night," Kelly apologized as she felt Carrie stand behind her. "I was just upset. This has nothing to do with Carrie."



"This has everything to do with her. How can you not see what she's done to you?"



"Me not see?" Kelly asked, incredibly. "How can you not see? Everybody else can. Ask anybody that knows me, Mom, I'm so much better off now than I was before. You know, I have changed. I'm not the same girl I used to be, and maybe I don't go crying to you every time I'm upset, but maybe that's because I don't cry all the time like I used. Maybe I don't have this huge hole inside of me that I used to. I'm not empty anymore, Mom."



Carrie went to step towards Jeanne to escort her out at the sound of Kelly's voice cracking, but Kelly put her arm out, stopping her.



"This...is wrong," Jeanne said firmly.



Kelly nodded, sniffing, "So it finally comes out, right? You haven't changed. You weren't trying to accept us. What are you doing here, Mom? Why are you even here?"



Jeanne narrowed her eyes at Carrie.



Kelly shook her head, her eyes closing as she fought back tears, "You sent the pictures."



"Kelly..."



"No, admit it, Mom. You did it. You sent those pictures in to that magazine," Kelly accused as she started to cry.



Carrie stood there frozen, not knowing what to do. She was surprised to see the slightest sign of regret in Jeanne's eyes as she nodded.



"Yes, I sent them in."



"How could you do that?"



Any surprise that had come at Jeanne's regret faded into anger as Carrie realized that there wasn't the slightest hint of anger in Kelly's voice at all as tears poured down her cheeks. She was way past anger. She was seriously broken.



"I was just...I was just trying to make you see," Jeanne explained, taking a step towards them.



Carrie made a move to step in front of Kelly, but Kelly held her back again.



"Make me see what, Mom? That you hate me?"



"I don't hate you," she shook her head.



"It's ok," Kelly nodded. "You can say it: you hate me. I don't mind."



Carrie looked behind her to find Ashley and Jason standing there, shocked, neither of them having the slightest clue what to do either.



"Kelly, I don't hate you."



"Then why would you do this to me? Why would you send those pictures out? And why...why would you come here and give me this false sense of hope when really you're opinion has never changed? Why would you do that?"



"Because I love you, Kelly. I only want what's best for you, and this is wrong. How can I possibly allow you to go through with this?"



Kelly bit down hard on her bottom lip as she crossed her arms, "No. You don't love me. Carrie...she loves me. Jason, and Alyssa...they love me. Ashley and the guys in my band...they all love me. You don't love me."



"I do, Kelly, I do. I just want what's best for you."



"Carrie is what's best for me, Mom," Kelly cried. "How can you not see that?"



"I can't agree with this. I won't," Jeanne said surely. "It's her or me."



"What?" Kelly's jaw dropped.



"It's either this girl who you've known for less than a year, who will probably just drop you as soon as the next hottie of the week comes by, or it's me, your mother that has raised you since you were a baby, the mother that has given up so much for you in order for you to be where you are today. It's her or me."



"Mom, how could you make me choose? Carrie would never do that."



Jeanne looked at her, her face set.



Kelly sniffed, her crying lessening some, "Carrie would never make me choose...I...I'm sorry, Mom. If you make me choose, you will not like my choice."



Jeanne shook her head in disgust, turning to gather her things.



"This is your last chance, Mom," Kelly said as firmly as she could as she tried to catch her breath from crying so hard. "You walk out on me now, and I will not let you back into my life."



Jeanne turned to her.



"I mean it. I don't care if you have some grand epiphany and you become truly sorry for everything that you have done, you will never be a part of my life again. Carrie and I...we plan on getting married someday. Bet you didn't know that, huh? We plan on spending the rest of our lives together," Kelly nodded. "And we're gonna have children of our own, and you will never know them. And when they ask why they've never met their grandmother, I'll tell them the truth: That she was a mean, mean person with so much hate in her heart that she didn't have room in it for them."



Carrie could see the hurt very much visible in Jeanne's eyes.



"Actually," Kelly shook her head, tearing up again. "You don't have a choice in the matter, Mom. I can't do this. I am so...drained from trying to make you happy and comfortable around us. I can't keep doing this. You've already made your choice. You need to go."



"Kelly..."



"You need to leave now."



Jason and Ashley hurried forward to get Jeanne's stuff for her, ushering her out of the house.



"Kell..." Carrie said carefully. "Are you ok?"



Kelly shook her head.



"You need a hug?"



She nodded, turning into Carrie's arms.



"I love you," Carrie whispered, holding her closely.



"I love you too," Kelly replied, burying her face in her neck as she felt herself starting to cry again. "More than anything."



"I know. You're gonna make it through this. Ok? I'm here with you," Carrie assured her, kissing the top of her head.