Playing With Fire

+++++++++++



"Hey you, what you up to?" Kelly smiled, finding Carrie sitting on the floor in the dressing room doing something on her lap top.



"You didn't tell me you had some new songs," Carrie replied.



"What new songs?" Kelly asked, sitting beside her, looking at the youtube page she had opened.



Carrie turned the volume up, and Kelly's face paled.



"How...how many are there?"



"Four," Carrie studied her carefully. "What's wrong?"



"I didn't release those. Those...they aren't even finished yet."



"Kell, I'm sorry, I didn't know," Carrie apologized.



"It's not your fault," she shook her head. "I just don't understand how they got them."



"Maybe someone hacked into your computer?"



"No, that's not it," she replied, looking at the song titles.



"How can you be sure?"



"Because. Hold on, I need to get Aben," she sighed, standing.



"Kell, I'm sorry."



"It's ok," she leaned down, giving her a quick kiss. "I'll be right back."



Carrie frowned at the youtube page she was looking at, thinking very hard about leaving a dirty comment in the comment box about people stealing songs. She nodded, that's exactly what she was going to do.



A few minutes later, Kelly walked back through the door with Aben, "I don't know how they got them."



"I think I do," he nodded as they sat on either side of Carrie.



Kelly smiled as she realized what the country singer was doing, "Care?"



"Yes?" she asked innocently.



"I think you cursed more in that one paragraph than you have since I've started dating you."



Carrie looked at her sheepishly.



Kelly kissed her, "Seriously, don't worry about it."



She nodded, pushing her lap top over to Aben. They watched as he searched quickly through several sites before checking his email.



"Yea," he nodded.



"Yea?"



"They got them off my email account."



"Email?" Kelly questioned.



"Yea, remember, that's when your laptop was being retarded and it wouldn't burn a CD, so you just emailed them to me. You never save the emails you send because you have so many incoming emails, there isn't enough space, so they must've gotten them from mine."



"Somebody hacked into your email?" Carrie frowned. "That's just not even right. Isn't that illegal or something?"



"Yea, but not as illegal as stealing songs and uploading them for illegal download," Aben sighed. "I'm sorry, KC, I know you were working hard on a couple of those."



"It's ok," she shrugged, standing. "Gotta love the digital age, right? I think I'm gonna go relax a bit before the show."



Carrie watched as she walked out the room, "She's upset, huh?"



"Well, obviously the songs weren't finished yet, and you know how much of a perfectionist she is. Then a couple of those weren't even meant to be released, just a way for her to get her thoughts out."



"I'm gonna go check on her," she stood, patting his shoulder.



"Care if I borrow your computer to do a little damage control?" Aben asked.



"No, that's fine. You can just leave it in here when you're done."



"Thanks," he nodded.



+++++++++



Carrie knocked on the doorframe as she entered the back of the bus, closing the door behind her. "Hey."



"Hey," Kelly replied as she lay flat on her back on the bed.



"How are you feeling?"



"A little hurt. It just sucks."



"Yea," Carrie nodded, joining her on the bed.



Kelly smiled, taking one of her hands.



"You are unbelievable," Carrie shook her head, smiling as well.



"What makes you say that?"



"You're obviously upset, and all it takes to make you happy is holding my hand?"



Kelly shrugged, "I happen to like your hand--"



Carrie smirked.



"I didn't mean it like that," Kelly blushed. "I was gonna say, I happen to like your hand, and I happen to love the girl it belongs to."



"Well, I happen to love the girl this hand belongs to, too," Carrie replied, kissing the back of Kelly's hand.



Kelly looked at her carefully before sitting up.



"What's up?"



"I wanna show you something," she explained a little nervously, getting her lap top and bringing it back to the bed.



"I'm not really into dirty videos."



Kelly laughed, "Shut up. I just...do you want to know how I knew they didn't get the songs from my computer?"



"Yea," Carrie watched as Kelly opened a couple folders, revealing more folders titled with different genres or dates.



"Because they aren't all in the same folder. It would've been weird for someone to hack into my computer and steal a couple files from one folder and another from another, but leave the rest. Why not just take a whole folder, you know?"



Carrie nodded in agreement.



"See, 'With a Little Bit of Luck' is in this one," Kelly clicked on the miscellaneous folder, showing her the song file along with several others before closing the folder. "But the other three...the other three are in this one."



Carrie sat as still as possible as Kelly opened a folder with the country singer's name on it, revealing quite a few other songs as well as the three she had listened to earlier. "You, um...they're..."



"I wrote them about you," Kelly admitted, almost shyly. "'Ready', um, that one was when you came back the first time. The day I took you to the spare house on our property out in Texas?"



Carrie nodded, thinking back to then.



"And 'One Day' I wrote that on tour when things were stressed between us. Doesn't really sound like a stressed song, I know," she smiled softly as Carrie's questioning gaze. "That's just how writing goes sometimes."



"What about the other one?" Carrie asked cautiously, afraid to push her luck when Kelly was already revealing way more of her self than she ever had.



"'Close Your Eyes'," Kelly's smile grew a little. "I wrote that the night I realized I was in love with you."



"When I met you on tour?" Carrie looked at her, confused. "How could you? I held you that entire night."



Kelly shook her head, "That's when I told you I loved you. I had realized it before then, I was just too afraid to think about it."



"You said you fell in love with me the first time I came back."



Kelly nodded, "I did."



"So some time between then and the tour?"



"The night you came back the second time."



"You hated me then," Carrie frowned. "You thought I had been with Tony."



"I didn't hate you," Kelly shook her head. "I just...you were standing there, soaking wet, looking more beautiful than I could ever imagine, and your eyes...you were so scared and alone yet you looked at me with so much hope. When I hugged you, I realized that none of it mattered, whether you were with him or not, whatever had happened that had gotten you so upset, it didn't matter because I was going to take you back. I had never felt as needed as I did that night, and I knew I was going to help you through it, no matter what...because I loved you."



Carrie looked at her with tears in her eyes.



"I think that's why I freaked the next day. You scared the crap out of me."



Carrie brought a hand up, cradling the Texan's face, "You are unbelievable."



Kelly gave a soft laugh.



"Is it wrong that I'm jealous that the entire world gets to see your heart, and not just me?"



Kelly smiled, "Maybe some other time we can go through a couple more of these songs...if you'd liked to?"



"I'd love to," Carrie nodded, kissing her.



+++++++++



"KC," Aben walked up to her backstage as they waited to start the show.



"What's up?" she asked.



"I've got most of the leaks under control," he nodded.



"Thanks," she offered a small smile. "Don't know how much it'll help. Once they're out, people think it's public property."



He nodded, "There's something else, though."



"Something else."



"One of the songs might cause a bit of a problem, especially after that article with Jeanne."



Kelly looked at him curiously, "What do you mean?"



"'With A Little Bit Of Luck'," Aben frowned.



"But...that's not even about Carrie," she argued.



"I know, but you have to admit it's going to look a little funny. Your mom just came out making comments about Carrie controlling you and hurting you, and then everybody's gonna hear this demo where you talk about a dysfunctional relationship, about someone laying a hand on you?"



"It's a metaphor," Kelly groaned. "It's not even about a love relationship."



"I know," he repeated. "I just wanted to make sure you realized how it looked."



Kelly nodded, "Thanks, Aben. Sorry."



"It's fine," he smiled. "I know y'all have got to be going through a lot."



"It's about to get worse, right?"



"Well, nobody believed the article before, but now...eyebrows will definitely be raised."



"Shit," she mumbled.



+++++++++



"I am so sorry," Kelly said firmly as she and Carrie sat Indian style on the bed in the back of the bus, facing each other.



"It's nor your fault," she shook her head.



"But this is gonna make people question things...question you...and you don't deserve that."



"I bet your mom will be thrilled."



"Care..."



"What am I supposed to say?" she shrugged. "People are going to think that I abuse America's sweetheart. That's gonna do wonders for my career which is already struggling after getting kicked off that tour."



Kelly's eyes fell.



"I guess I know kinda how you feel now."



Kelly looked up at her questioningly.



"All that stuff with your mom. I never really had to deal with the downside of our relationship like you did."



"Care, I would never wish for you to feel how my mom makes me feel," Kelly scooted closer to her.



"I know," Carrie nodded, reaching up to touch her cheek gently.



"I'm so sorry."



"It's not your fault."



"You keep saying that, but it's my mother that brought this up in the first place, and it's my song that's gonna make people actually believe it."



"But you didn't do any of that intentionally."



"But you're still upset."



"Not with you."



"With us," she could feel herself tearing up.



"Not with us," Carrie cradled her face.



"You're career's suffering because of us," Kelly sniffed.



"My career isn't suffering. It's just hit a slow patch. That happens all the time, you know that."



Kelly could feel the tears now falling down her cheeks.



"But sweetie, it's not because of us," Carrie assured. "It's because of ignorant people who don't know how to mind their own business."



"But--" she protested, her voice cracking as Carrie brushed her tears away with her thumbs.



"I could never be upset with us. Us means everything to me."



"I just don't want you to ever feel like you can't do something, or you're being held back because of our relationship," Kelly admitted softly.



"Baby, I would never feel that way. Our relationship is the most important thing in my life, and I want it to be that way. I'll never feel slighted by that. Relationships do take sacrifice, though. That's just how they work. They're hard sometimes, but I am willing to sacrifice everything to be with you."



"But I don't want you to have to sacrifice anything."



"I know," Carrie smiled. "And that's what makes me love you even more, and is why I'll gladly drop it all to be with you."



"I love you," her voice faltered as she cried harder.



"I love you too," Carrie's heart melted as she pulled her onto her lap, holding her closely. "And hey, so what if my career tanks? I can always be one of your backup singers."



Kelly let out a choked back laugh as she buried her face in the country singer's neck.



Carrie laughed softly, rubbing her back as she kissed the top of her head.



+++++++++



Kelly woke to the sound of her phone vibrating against the bedside table. She felt Carrie pull her closer as she turned onto her stomach, laying practically on top of the shorter girl. Kelly laughed softly, rubbing her back.



"Too early," Carrie mumbled. "Ignore it."



Kelly smiled tiredly, kissing her forehead. She wrapped an arm around her, holding her close, "You're warm."



Carrie nodded, kissing her neck.



Kelly felt her eyes closing again.



"It's ringing," Carrie fussed as the phone started to ring loudly. "Why they heck is it ringing?"



"That's the setting it's on," Kelly reached over, searching for her phone in the dark. "Vibrate then ring."



"Turn it off."



"I'm trying," Kelly laughed.



The phone stopped, and Carrie sighed, snuggling further into her, "Bed time."



"It's just gonna keep going," Kelly stretched her arm out further. "That was Narvel's ring tone. He won't stop till I answer."



Sure enough, the phone started vibrating again.



"You better get it before it starts ringing. I'll throw it out the window, I swear."



"Well, aren't you cranky," Kelly smiled, feeling her phone beneath her fingertips.



"I was just having a very good dream, and I would like to go back to it."



"Good?" Kelly smiled.



"Very good."



"And was I in this dream?"



"Mmhmm..."



Kelly laughed, kissing the top of her head as she answered the phone, "Hello."



"Hey, Kelly," Narvel greeted.



"Narvel, what time is it?"



"It's three in the morning."



"Narvel, I believe I warned you what I would do if you woke me up like this, the last time you did."



"Well," he chuckled. "Being that the last time I woke you up like this was to tell you about rehearsals with your new duet partner because Martina couldn't make it, and that duet partner turned out to be the love of your life, I thought I should get a little leeway."



Kelly smiled as Carrie wrapped her arms around her waist, falling back asleep, "Yea, yea. So what's up?"



"I need a statement."



"Go to sleep Narvel."



"Not that type of statement," he laughed. "Besides, it's not that late over here like it is over there."



"Mk, so statement for what?" she yawned.



"The demos being leaked."



"It sucks."



"Anything else?"



"Narvel, you know how I am. I write all the time--lots of stuff not meant to ever be released, just working on ideas," Kelly sighed. "The fact that people have heard music that's not ready yet sucks, but I hope they like it."



"Perfect," Narvel replied. "There's one more thing."



"The song's not about her," Kelly grew defensive for a moment.



"That's all I needed to know."



"Night Narvel."



"Night Kelly. Get some sleep."



She hung up the phone, holding Carrie tightly, "How's that dream going?"



"Mmm..." Carrie mumbled.



Kelly smiled, relaxing enough to be able to fall back asleep.