Rummy

"Epilogue"

### s ###

Bombalurina smiled patiently at the shy young adolescent queen. "Go on, he wants to see you," she encouraged lightly, and gave Jemima a friendly nudge.

The young black and white queen smiled nervously, then bit her lip. "What if he doesn't like me?"


"Don't be silly," the older queen chided, and winked, "just do what I told you to and he'll be falling over himself for you."

### s ###

"Dueteronomy...?"

The old cat looked up from his perch on the vicarage wall curiously. His expression slipped into a cheerful smile at the sight of the scarlet, black and white queen standing shyly by the foot of the wall.

"Oh, Bombalurina, what a pleasant day this is turning out to be. Now, what can I do for you my child?"

Bombalurina twined her paws together nervously and looked away, "I'm worried about Tugger. You see... some of the other cats have been saying things behind his back, hurtful things--- you know? I'm just worried that he might eventually hear it, and then feel bad about himself. He's a nice tom, I don't want him to get hurt."

She smiled slightly, and Dueteronomy was reminded that some time previously she had been involved with his son. It was good to see that they still got on even after breaking up.

"Don't worry, my dear," Dueteronomy reassured her gently, "I know my son. Wounded pride is the worst he can possibly get from junkyard gossip, but I'm glad you told me. It shows a caring heart on your behalf."


"I only hope that someday he cares as much for me," Bombalurina replied quietly, and turned away so that he didn't see the devious smirk that crossed her pretty face.

### s ###

"There's a tom. Tall, broad shoulders, with a golden mane and curls in his headfur who sometimes frequents this bar. There's fifty gold peices for you if you offer him a place on your ship."

"I don't know, lady." The large pirate cat eyed the youngish queen skepticly through his one good eye, "what exactly do you want him out of the way for?"

"He needs to find himself," she confessed easily, and just as smartly he knew it was a lie, "to get away from our tribe---"

"Cut the bullshit," the pirate tom commanded, and the queen pouted. "Say what you really want, and if you have what I really want then maybe we have a deal."

"Alright," the scarlet queen snapped, "I need him gone for three years. Keep him with you and I can guarantee your comfortable retirement, just make sure he comes back after that much time."

"And keep him in the dark about it too? How much are we talking?"

"How much are you wanting?"

Growltiger considered. "Thousand in gold."

"Deal," the queen nodded, "half up front, and half when you deliver him back where he's supposed to be... Oh," she paused, smiling nastily, "and just to make it realistic, tell him that you're sending him ashore for three months."

"And when he comes back?"

"Send him away of course. Make up some lie, either way it gets you rich."

### s ###

"He's back you know."

Jemima jumped, startled, and turned to face Bombalurina who stood casually in the entryway. "I'm sorry, who is?"

"Tugger," Bombalurina replied, and Jemima's eyes widened, "he's been asking after you."

"He has?" Jemima smiled to herself, perhaps a little smugly, "it... might be good to... see him again."

Bombalurina smirked slightly at Jemima's suddenly very naughty expression, "I'm sure he's thinking the exact same thing. Go see for yourself, hm? He's lazing out in the sun somewhere."

### s ###

Bombalurina preened herself infront of a mirror, looking this way and that as she searched for the perfect angle to pose seductively. It was about the time that Tugger got up in the mornings, and naturally he'd be on his way to the water barrel not knowing that it was no longer in use.

She'd seen to it that Jennyanydots was too distracted to arrange a water ration for him, which gave her the perfect opportunity to put the first part of her plan into action.

Too bad she had to pretend to be almost desperate. But then, it wasn't as if he'd notice she was purposefully buttering him up to make him feel like the better cat.

### s ###

"It's a little... disorientating."

"Oh, don't worry," Bombalurina assured her flippantly, "it's just what he does. He likes to talk during sex. I asked him about it once and he just said to ignore it, so don't pay any attention to it."

"Oh thank goodness," Jemima sighed, "I was almost starting to think that you might've been wrong and he really did want a relationship."

Bombalurina's laugh was musical and full of good humour, "Jemima. With the Rum Tum Tugger, everything is sex. That's all there is to it."

Jemima smiled wickedly and giggled a little, "but oh, isn't he good at it?"

### s ###

Bombalurina smirked and flounced off happily. He was taking the bait much easier than she expected. Some part of her was almost curious as to what would happen if she told Munkustrap how he fit into her plan. However, now was not the time for purely hypothetical questions.

### s ###

Munkustrap frowned, and his paw reached out to take hold of her arm before she could go anywhere. "It's Tugger, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"The reason we're not fucking except when you find it convenient," the silver tabby stated bluntly, "of course you wondered why you woke up yesterday covered in---"

"Yes, I wondered," Bombalurina replied drily, "then I realised that the entrance to my den was open. Nice revenge by the way, I spent hours combing and washing out my fur."

"Don't change the subject," Munkustrap ordered and pulled her into a surprisingly sensual kiss, "I own your body for as long as we're together. Don't forget that."

"Go choke on a bone, Munkus," Bombalurina told him lightly, "I have better things to do today."

Munkustrap growled as the red, black and white queen left his den. "This is fucking bullshit!"

### s ###

"Tugger is sleeping with Jemima." Etcetera looked up curiously to see where the sudden whisper into her ear had come from. Her eyes stopped on Bombalurina who smiled and leant down to add; "Pass it on."

### s ###

"Go talk to Rummy."

"What?" Munkustrap demanded sleepily.

"Just go talk to him," Bombalurina exasperated and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Or what?"

"Or I soak your fur in ice-cold water."

Munkustrap cracked open an eyelid to see Bombalurina holding a jar full of water in one paw.

"Rumpus, bitch," the silver tabby tom grumbled, getting to his footpaws, "hold the fuckin' dogsled."

### s ###

"He's obsessed with Demeter," Jemima flung her paws into the air in annoyance, "I was damnwell sitting on his bits and flaunting myself for all I'm worth and there he was asking whether Deme-darling is with Alonzo."

Bombalurina nodded thoughtfully, "that would be a problem." Then she smirked a little, "it must be worrying him a lot."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing Jemi. I just wouldn't bother going to see him tonight. Tell everyone that you're ill."

Jemima raised an eyebrow, "again?"

"Trust me," Bombalurina insisted. The older queen frowned, then slowly broke into a wide grin. If she knew Demeter, then perhaps Tugger's 'obsession' with the other queen could work out to be beneficial...

### s ###

Bombalurina looked at herself in the mirror sourly. That slap had not been included in her plan. Oh well, sometimes sacrifices had to be made.

Then the corners of her mouth lifted slightly. So Tugger had beaten Alonzo the harmless self defense instructor to a pulp? Say goodbye to his friendship with Demeter! She cackled a little as she grabbed a pawful of ice and wrapped it in a cloth. Poor Rummy. But he had to learn... she was the only one he could count on.

And she'd make him see it. One way or another.

### s ###

Munkustrap smirked at Bombalurina, "so you finally got him back, did you?"

The busty scarlet queen sniffed haughtily, then broke into a nasty grin, "I guess this means you can't call me your 'bitch' anymore."

"A pity," he conceeded with a sneer, "but one I can live with. But Tugger as your simpering puppy...? It's disgusting. If I'd known what you were planning I might have been more forceful in showing you your place."

Bombalurina glared at the silver tabby, "you hit me once. I wouldn't let you get away with it again."

"Yeah?" Munkustrap smirked and took a step closer to her, "you wanna test that theory, bitch? You see, I might beleive you if you'd tried hitting me back that time, but instead you followed orders like a good little girl."

The corners of her lips quirked upwards, "what can I say? We had company and I didn't want trouble. And you were a good fuck. Not as good as Tugger, mind you, but good enough."

"You just like him better because he prefers a queen on top," the tabby tom retorted, grinning. If ever he were to say that there was a queen he could possibly accept as an equal, it would be Bombalurina. The bitch had balls. Which was a quality he might have liked in a queen.

Walking past her Munkustrap stopped to give her ass a squeeze and murmer in her ear, "I hope you think of me every now and then."

"Go to hell," she replies with a sweet smile.

"One last kiss, for a fond farewell?" He grinned rather lecherously.

Bombalunrina inclined her head and their lips touched breifly. Suddenly Bombalurina slapped him hard across the face.

"You bastard!"

Munkustrap simply grinned and licked his fingers, "no shit, Bom-bitch."

### s ###

NEXT: Stay tuned for the Explanations.