If We Hold On Together

A/N:
I'm sorry for the wait, honestly.
I had no clue I hadn't finished posting this here, I thought I had.
I already have all the parts written out, they're un-betaed and not very great.
BUT I have no time to fix it as it is.

Chapter 9:
The day of our wedding grew closer; soon it was just three more weeks. I hadn't seen Gerard since I told him we were over, and it hurt. I wanted him, and he wanted me, but I had chosen Alicia. And she was oblivious to the fact that I wanted another human being. I wanted my brother, my own flesh and blood. But I was beyond thinking it was wrong or sick. I was beyond everything, except getting back together with Gerard.

The thing was, I didn't know how that could ever work out. We cold never walk down a street holding hands. We could never have a big wedding and then go on a honeymoon together. We couldn't do those things, because we share the same blood, and no matter how much we wanted that to not be true, it would always be so.

I sighed where I stood in front of the mirror, with my black tux on. Alicia took care of everything; I didn't have to do anything. She took care of the food, the music, the honeymoon, the drinks… everything. Mostly because I didn't care, and I think she noticed. Though she probably thought I was like most guys, who didn't give a damn about their wedding. But no, that wasn't it. If it had been with the man I loved more then anything, I would've been extremely interested in planning the wedding.

However, I knew that we couldn't always get what we want. And sometimes we had to do what the head told us, and not what our heart begged. It was a sad thought, and I could see my eyes cloud over with sorrow when I looked at my reflection, but it was true. I knew I loved Gerard, and I knew he loved me, but we could never be together.

It was wrong of us to ever think so, and it was wrong of us to ever cheat on Alicia. It was wrong of me. She deserved a man who would lay his soul out in front of her, and I swore to myself as I flattened out the tux that I would be that man.

From that day on, I and Alicia would share everything, and Gerard would never again be anything more then my brother.


-


[Gerard's P.O.V]

Another night, another bottle, another whore. Of course they weren't really whores, but they might've been. To me it didn't really matter. I read about my brother's wedding, and when I saw it was getting close I decided to give up. I didn't have enough strength to make it in life without him. I should've tried harder, but I couldn't.

I drank bottle after bottle of whiskey, and I downed xanax with them most nights. I also hooked up with random girls at random bars each night. Hey if he could get married, I could fuck girls at random.

As the cool glass touched my lips I closed my eyes and relaxed. I knew what I was doing was stupid, but he was my Mikey. He and I were supposed to be together forever, we had promised each other that. In a dark room while our bodies worked as one, and sweat pearled down our foreheads and our lips tried to make as much contact as the lower regions of our bodies were making, we promised each other that. We promised each other love for all eternity, we promised each other to never leave the others side.

Some promises.

Broken promises, just like everything else in my life, broken. My head hurt when I put the glass back down and took a deep breath. I really shouldn't have taken those pills, but I didn't really care.

Tomorrow, tomorrow my brother was getting married. He would stand in a church with a girl he didn't love and promise her everything he had already promised me. And he would be lying to her just as much as he was lying to me.

And that's when my evil plan formed out in my head. I knew Mikey had been serious when he broke up with me, and I knew I wouldn't get him back. And… yes, I loved him so much, but not enough to let him be happy while I was slowly killing myself. I couldn't let him be happy with her. I couldn't let her be happy with him.

I couldn't stand the thought of him crying her name as he came instead of mine. Mine suited his lips so much better, and my name was worth the beauty of his lips. Thinking about how Mikey used to moan my name suddenly made something in my stomach twitch. I grinned and wasn't ashamed to let my hand sneak into my pants. But I didn't want to jack off. No I wanted sex, I wanted someone to fuck. Someone to scream my name as they came.

And I knew just the person.


Charlie was the perfect person, mostly because he was in love with me. I had met Charlie about six months into my relationship with Mikey. And he had tried to ask me out more times then I could count, however I always told him I was straight, so he'd stop bothering me.

Within 30 minutes I had made my way over to his house and stood there knocking on his door. I was wearing tight black jeans and a button up shirt, black of course. I knew I looked both hot and sober, since I had taken the time to wash my hair and style it a little. I had also bothered to put on a little eyeliner, and as I waited patiently for him to answer the door I knew I would get laid tonight.

He opened the door and his face lit up as he saw it was me. Truth be told he wasn't ugly… or… well, he was actually quite perfect if you thought about it. Charlie had brown hair that was always messy, and his hazel eyes always seemed warm. I grinned at his surprised happiness and waved one hand at him.

"So, you gonna invite me in or are we gonna stay out here?" I asked and flashed him one of my best smiles. He blushed and nodded before showing me in. I made sure to brush up close against him as I walked pass him and into his home.

"So, what brings you here Gerard?" He asked and motioned for me to sit down on the couch, which I did. Before I answered he asked me if I wanted something to drink and I tipped my head to the right and said 'beer' with a grin playing at the side of my mouth.

He nodded then repeated the question as he walked out of sight and into the kitchen. I glanced around his living room for a second and thought about what my answer should be.

"I've got something to get off my chest" I said as he walked back into the room. His living room was mostly brown with a few white spots. It was quite nice actually. I had tried to picture what his home would look like on the way over, but I hadn't pictured it like this. It was nice, homey.

He smiled at me and sat down at the other end of the couch and handed me one of the two beers he was carrying. I thanked him and took a zip before brushing some hair out of my face.

"So, want to tell me?" He asked and took a few zips of his own beer. I nodded slowly then bit my lip. Maybe I shouldn't do this, maybe I should lie and say something else and just go home. I was going to tell him I was gay, and then have sex with him before dumping him the morning after. Or maybe even tonight after I got what I wanted. My conscience told me no, that I shouldn't do such a thing to a friend of mine that I knew was in love with me.

Especially not since we worked together at the school. Yes he was a music teacher and I an art teacher. That's how we met, when I finally got a job there. At first I was just working there temporarily, so I would be close to Mikey. But as the time passed I realized how much I wanted to work there, since it was kind of like a dream of mine.

Thinking about Mikey made my eyes once again cloud over with sorrow, and Charlie noticed. He leaned closer to me and let a hand rest on my shoulder.

"Gerard?" He questioned and I took a deep breath. I was going to do this, and it was going to be good. We were going to have sex and then I'd be off. I'd go home and get wasted and down a few more pills. That's what would happen, and then on Mikey's wedding I would…

"I'm kind of gay" I slipped out and he pulled his hand back like I had suddenly burned him.

"What?" He asked, his eyes wide. I frowned and moved a little closer to him.

"I'm gay Charlie, and I like you" I hated myself as I said it, because it wasn't true. Well, not the part of me liking him though, I just said it to get into his pants.

"But, what, and how a-" I cut him off by kissing him forcefully on the mouth. His lips felt nothing like Mikey's, they were rougher, but I liked it. It didn't take him long to start kissing me back and then I let my tongue trace his bottom lip, begging for entrance.

"Gerard, what's going on?" He asked once we broke the kiss for air. I shook my head to silence him and tried to kiss him again but he leaned away.

"What's going on?" He asked again and I felt myself getting frustrated. I was already hard, and I just wanted him. I wanted him hard and fast, and now.

"I want you" I simply said and then threw my arms around him and pulled him close. This time he didn't fight it, he kissed me back with just as much force and soon our tongues were battling for dominance. Of course I won, since I was so horny I could explode.

"Clothes, off" I breathed out and he didn't even answer. He just started pulling my shirt off as I made his own shirt history by tearing it off him. Maybe he should've suspected that something wasn't quite right by the way I practically ripped his clothes off. Or how I sucked forcefully at his nipples or how my hand so quickly made its way into his underwear.

"I always thought I'd be on top our first time" Charlie whispered when our clothes were long gone and he was on his back on the couch. I didn't bother answering; instead I bit down hard on his neck and let one of my hands make their way to his opening.

"Gerard, oh God, we need lube" He breathed out and I groaned, but I knew he was right. I and Mikey had done it without lube sometimes and it hurt like a bitch.

"Where?" I moaned in his ear as his hands caressed my sides. His left arm left my skin for a few seconds to dig for something behind the cushions and I raised an eyebrow at his blushing face.

"You never know when you're going to have sex on the couch" He stuttered and I smirked as I grabbed the bottle from him. As I coated my fingers with the vanilla scented liquid he started squirming underneath me and I once more raised an eyebrow at him.

He leaned in close and his breath on my ear made my whole body tingle.

"Fuck me" He whispered and my eyes widened. I would never have thought Charlie could say something like that, but then again, I never thought he'd be such a good kisser either.

I didn't answer, instead I just let my fingers intrude his body, making him let out a growl.

"No, no fucking preparing, fuck me Gerard" He said and I pulled my fingers back and kissed him deeply. I kissed my way from his mouth to his neck as I covered my cock in lube and then started pressing into him.

I expected him to hiss from pain, or at least any other kind of sound showing he was hurt, but it never happened. Instead he wrapped his legs instantly around my body and pushed me all the way in, making us both moan loudly.

"Hard and fast, that's how I like it" He whispered and I shuddered at the tone in his voice. But I complied, and let my hips start working against his. Within minutes all thoughts of Mikey were gone, and instead my head, no my whole body, was filled with pleasure and lust.

My hips crashed against his and our mouths worked against each others as our breathing became more and more raggedy. I knew I wouldn't last long going at it like this, but the look in his eyes let me know he was just as close as I was. And soon he came with a cry of my name and with his fingers clawing at my back.

His muscles clasping around my cock made me lose it and I closed my eyes and let my mouth hang open in a silent scream as I came violently. My whole body was on fire and my heart was beating so loud I could almost hear it.

After a few minutes I pulled out and my body collapsed next to his on the cough. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, and then opened them, thinking I should get up and leave. But as I made to sit up I was stopped by Charlie crawling on top of me.

"Now it's my turn to be on top" He growled and bit down on my neck hard. I cried out in pain and surprise, but as his hands started stroking me hard again I forgot all thoughts about leaving. I was still tired from the sex, and from the extreme pleasure I had felt as I came inside him, but I was more then ready for round two.