May-December & 3 Dark Years

May - December, and 3 Dark Years


Lance sat at the hotel bar, nursing his 3rd cup of coffee. He hovered over it, head in hand, eyes on the shiny wood he bhe bar. If anyone thought it was odd that a member of the uber-famous group *NSYNC was sitting alone in a bar at 3am, they weren't saying anything.
Hell, Lance wasn't even sure if he cared what people thought about him anymore. He'd had more than enough of fame and everything that goes with it to last him for several lifetimes. At this point, just the hint of a normal life could cause a yearning so deep in his chest that it almost hurt. If it weren't for his commitments to the guys and to Jive, not to mention to their fans, he'd drop it all in a second. That was the god's-honest truth.
Lance sighed heavily, humming softly to the background music, his deep voice a rumbling undercurrent to the several conversations going on around him. He wondered if he looked as lonely as he felt, and if he really wanted to be noticed for that. Nothing worse than pity-attention. That was even more empty than a fame-fuck, and he should know.
Finally deciding to go back to his room, he dug into a pocket for some cash, which he then threw onto the bar. He thanked the bartender, barely glancing in her direction as he headed toward the elevators.
As he waited for his floor, he wondered if he would get any sleep tonight. Thankfully, there were no scheduled appointments in the morning, but sleep would at least be an escape from the constant ache in his soul.
In his room, he sat down at the table in the corner, thinking maybe some FreeLance paperwork would keep his mind occupied for a while. For the next hour he poured himself into something other than *NSYNC, and it was at least satisfying, if not fulfilling.
As he closed the last file, he absentmindedly clicked the browser button, his laptop automatically connecting to the internet. The chat room he frequented popped open, a list of users at the right side. He smiled widely at the siht of his favorite chat-buddy's handle.
He typed:


SOUTHERNBOY: MommyChick! How's it going? :)
MOMMYCHICK: Well if it isn't my favorite chat-buddy on the planet! Hey sweetie! It's going... somewhere. Not sure where, though. :)


Lance opened a private chat window, knowing how these chats usually went. He and MC were on fairly intimate terms for two people who'd never met. That was the beauty of the internet. You could be faceless, and at the same time spill your guts without anyone being the wiser. MC had been a great listener, as well as a fount of good advice for him in the paand and he knew she might be the only one who could haul his ass out of the funk he found himself in.


SB: So have the kiddies run you out of town yet?
MC: What, you have nothing public to say to me? I might be getting the wrong idea here, bud... *wiggles eyebrows*
SB: *snort*
MC: Hmm... taking that personally.
MC: No, the kids were good today, and THEY didn't hurt my feelings, either.
SB: *hugs MC* Sorry chica, you know you're my girl. Just couldn't let your ego get out of hand, there.
MC: You're lucky forgiveness is in my nature. Your girl, huh? You couldn't possible handle me.
SB: Um...
MC: OK, I'm done with making you blush. Sometimes I forget you're not as jaded as I am.
SB: Eh?
MC: Quit avoiding the issue. Why are you still up at... what is it, 4am there? What's bothering you?
SB: *head is spinning* Woman, you've got to slow down before my head explodes.
MC: *chuckles* Slowing...
SB: You're doing that psychic thing again.
SB: *gathering thoughts*
SB: I want to quit touring.
MC: Baby, you've never wanted to do anything BUT sing for people. This is your dream.
SB: Yeah, and that part of it is great, but my personal life is pretty much sucking right now.
MC: Would you care to be a little more specific, or is that an all-around, in general, sucking? *serious look*


Lance had to consider carefully what he would say. Although he'd told MC a lot about himself, he'd never told her which group he was a part of, or how popular they were. She knew they travelled regularly, though, so he could talk to her about his lonliness. If he was VERY careful, he could open up as much as he needed to.


SB: *deep chuckle* Not everything is bad. My bandmates are there for me, wen they aren't living their own lives, and the music is still good.
MC: So what's the problem? Do you need a teddy bear to sleep with? I've got several used ones I could send you. Color preference?
SB: *laughing* I like dark blue, but that's OK. It's not necessarily a body I need, but some companionship. Unfortunately, there's no one I can trust for that.
MC: *thinking* How long has it been since you've been home, honey? I know you must have someone there who you'd like to spend time with. :)
SB: Not really. It's been years since I had time for normal stuff, like friends or... girlfriends. It's been pretty sheltered, for good reason.
MC: Baby, you need a break. No one can live alone for too long. When are you going to be finished with your tour?
SB: We've got another month before we can go home. *sigh* I hope I can make it.
MC: You can do it. You're stronger than you think, and you can chat with me whenever you need to. In fact, if you need to TALK I'm willing to do that too. Expect am important email tonight. Gotta go get the kids up and get things rolling.
SB: OK, I'm anxious to see this email. And yes, I'll live. Not sure what kind of mental state I'll be in, though. Have fun with the schooling. *hug*
MC: Smoochies, baby. Talk to ya later.


Lance closed his browser, feeling measurably better after his talk with his friend. Amazing how she could raise his spirits so easily. Must be all her practice with her kids. When you homeschool 2 kids, you better be inspiring.
His respect for her was huge. How many women could continue as she had, after losing her husband to a heart attack so young? Thank God the man had provided for them so well. She could focus on the kids, and not the finances.
Lance opened his email program, waiting for the server to load him up. The program dinged, leaving him with 5 emails. All of them but 1 were from family members. When you're famous, you don't hand out your addy to just anyone.
He opened MC's mail, finding nothing but a... phone number? Stunned, he just stared at it for a bit. She'd given him her phone number, and now that he looked closely, he could see that it was a cell number. She'd made it possible for him to reach her whenever he needed to.
Smiling, he lay down and slept.



The tour buses pulled up outside of JIVE's offices crowding the snall parking lot, but forming a barrier between the road and the cars waiting to pick up the guys and their baggage. Things got loud and crazy as an army of workers swarmed over the buses, beginning the unloading process. The bus doors opened, the guys appearing one by one.
Normally, the guys had a lot of fun together, but they were all exhausted from the long hours of the tour, and they each walked solemnly to their cars.
"Give me a couple of days to sleep, and then I'll call you all. I'm thinking a beach day would do us all some good." Chris sounded even more tired than Lance felt.
They all mumbled their agreement, stumbling into their cars and heading each to his own house.


Lance woke slowly, the sunlight peeking through his blinds warm on his face. After sleeping for 20 hours straight, he finally felt like he could get up and DO something today. He took a quick shower, dressing in loose shorts and not much else. There was something to be said for living alone. He could wear whatever he wanted, or nothing at all, and no one was there to say anything.
No one was there to say...
anything.
Sighing deeply, he wandered down to the kitchen to start coffee. Glancing at the clock, he grinned and picked up the telephone. Dialing Joey's house, he started planning the day.


Lance lay baking on a private piece of Cocoa Beach, while the other guys played a game of frisbee. This had been a very relaxing day, and he'd actually had a lot of fun, something that didn't happen a whole lot any more. The guys had taken a crazy shopping trip down A1A, stopping in every surf shop they could find, and doing whatever they could to keep Lance laughing. His lack of contentment lately had not been a secret, and they were concerned with his happiness as much as their own.
Justin jogged up to the blanket, showering Lance with cool seaer. er. He laughed at the sight of his friend sitting up in shock at the spray.
"Coming to my party tonight, Mississippi?" Justin's dripping curls brought a smile to his friend's face.
"I don't know, Curly. I'm not really in the mood for a Hollywood scene." He'd een enough of J's parties to know it'd be full of bautiful women. The younger man was nothing if not predictable.
Justin frowned a little, hoping his bandmate's recent depression wouldn't keep him from getting out and having some fun.
"Lansten, come on. This has been a good day for you, and we want it to continue." An earnest look came over his face. "We've been worried about you lately, bro."
Lance sighed, realizing he was being a little selfish with his time and feelings.
"OK, JuJu, I'll come tonight. Just don't try to set me up again. Alright?"
Justin grinned brightly before running back to the water. Lance sighed.


It was exactly as he had known it would be. Beautiful women and would-be-ers as far as the eye could see. Lance wasn't sure if he could keep his dinner down at this rate.
He'd beeproaproached by no less than 15 women in the last 30 minutes, and he was so tired of fending them off that he wasn't sure he could be civil any longer. This was ridiculous.
Lance glanced over at Justin, catching him looking over with a troubled frown. In his young friend's mind, if you weren't getting laid there had to be something terribly wrong. And that was fine, unless you wanted more out of life.
Lance was sick of being wanted because of who he was. He was never sure of anyone around him except for his bandmates. That was just wrong in so many ways. He wanted more than a nice piece of ass, or a pretty girl to lok good on his arm. He wanted to look forward to going home at night. He wanted someone to love.
With a snort of disgust, he called his car around and left.


He threw his keys on the counter as he came in the door, heading straight for the table, and his laptop. Booting it up, he next clicked the chat icon, and waited impatiently for it to connect. All hewanted was to talk to MC. He was angry, and disgusted, and needed the perspective that she'd given him in the past.
"Shit." She wasn't he che chat room. He wondered if she was online at all. Glancing at the clock, he saw it to be 10pm, and he was sure she'd mentioned being in this time zone.
Putting his hand in his pocket, he pulled out the phone number he'd been carrying around for days. Should he call her? Why would she give him the number if she didn't want him to call? Was it to late?
He was a little shocked to realize that he really just wanted to hear her voice. Ever since she sen the email he'd been wondering what she would sound like. He wasn'tsure of her age, although he she she was older than he was, but he was thinking early 30s. Would her voice match her vibrant, take-no-prisoners personality?
Before he could talk himself out of it, he picked up the phone and started dialing.
A sleepy alto answered after 3 rings, "Hello?"
He smiled to himself, thinking it was karma, kismet that she had a low voice, too.
"Hey MommyChick."
There was a brief pause, and then, ""Damn boy! After hearing that voice of yours, I'm thinkin' I need to go wring out my panties." She chuckled, sexily.
He laughed outright, feeling immediately better. She had a real talent for distraction.
She continued as if she didn't expect him to speak, "So what was so bad that you couldn't wait for a decent hour to call me?" Good think se didn't sound mad at all.
"One of my bandmates had a party tonight, and I left early." Just talking about it brought back the depression and disgust. He suddenly didn't want to tell her about it. As if she would think less of them if he heard about the shallow people they partied with.
"My name's Ann."
"Um, huh?"
"Don't you think you should know my name if you're going to spill your guts again?" The laughter in her voice bubbled out around the edges.
He chuckled deeply for a moment before responding, "I guess you're right. I'm James." He didn't mean to mislead her, he just wanted her to know the name his family called him.
"Well Jamie-boy, would you like to tell me why you hated this party?"
Lance sighed. He was just so tired of all of this. As much as he loved singing, he hated the people around it.
She spoke again, softly, "It's OK, hon. You talk about whatever you want. That's what I'm here for."
Lance started speaking, not really kowing what about, and before he kt, ht, he'd poured out his heart to her about everything that had been bothering him la, fr, from Justin's morals to JC's perfectionism while recording. It was liberating. Freeing.


(Later...)


"Life can be pretty empty if everything we do and say is taken at face value. Is that what you feel is happening?" Ann's voice was very serious and quiet. Their conversation had taken a turn away from the lighthearted quite a while ago.
"That's exactly what is going on. Without going into any more detail, I'll just say that there is no one who takes me at anything BUT face value, Annie." He could hear the anger and frustration in his own voice.
Ann was silent for a moment. Just when Lance was ready to ask what was the matter, she spoke.
"Um... there's me."
Lance grinned to himself. "Oh right, but it's not like you have any choice in the matter. You've never even seen my face."
Ann spoke angrily, "I chat with you because I like you, and not because of anything else." Her voice calmed a bit as she continued, "You've proven to be a sweet, intelligent, loyal, and even discreet friend to me, without knowing much more that that I'm a widowed mom. You're non-judgemental, because you don't have any preconveived ideas based on who I am in real life."
She finishe an an earnest whisper, "Do you realize what that means to me, Jamie?"
Lance was stunned at her outburst. He'd really had no idea about any of this. He'd been so wrapped up in his own problems, that the fact that she might have her own had never come to his attention. How terribly selfish of him.
"Annie, I had no idea you felt that way. In fact, you always seem to be so calm and together that I'm ashamed to say I've not thought of you even HAVING problems."
"It's alright, Jamie. I don't really lend myself to wearing my troubles on my sleeve." She sounded so let down that Lnace's gut twisted for a moment.
He spoke quickly and quietly, and without thinking, "Annie, I can't imagine what's it's been like for you. I mean, losing the person you love most in the world, and being left with two kids to raise on your own." He left it at that, waiting for a response from her.
There was a long silence, followed by a soft sob, and then, "I've got to go, Jamie..."
* click *
Lance sat in the dark for a while after that, thinking of his friend.


Lance was lying awake in bed when the phone rang. He picked it up, somehow knowing who it was already. He glanced at the caller ID just to make sure.
"Hey Annie."
"Hey... I... I'm sorry about... about hanging up on you."
Lance was strangely thrilled that she called him back, and promised himself that he would not let her slip away again, upset.
"No, it was my fault. I was insensitive with your feelings, and I'm very sorry, Annie." He hoped she could hear the sincerety in his voice.
She was silent for a full minute, while he sat listening to her harsh breathing.
"Jamie, I miss him." She let out a strangled sob. "I miss him so bad, sometimes all I can do is throw up and wish I was dead. But I can't do that, cause I have to finish raising out kids, and I have other responsibilities, and I'm so..." She trailed off, finally running out of steam.
Lance asked gently, "You're so what, Annie?"
"Lonely, Jamie. God, I'm just so fucking lonely." He could hear her quietly weeping, and it just tore at his heart. He'd never experienced anything but strength from her, and this sudden breakdown had thrown off his equilibrium. He had the oddest desire to protect her.
With an insight he wasn't aware he'd had, he changed the subject.
"A couple of the guys left Ron Jon's in a shambles today. I' haven't laughed that hard in a long time. They tried on just about everything in the store, and basically put on a fashion show for me and the other guys. You should've seen them prancing around. It was hysterical." He chuckled at the memory, hoping she would too.
"Ron Jon's..." she mumbled.
"Um, yeah. It's a surf shop in Cocoa," he explained.
ShitShit. Cocoa BEACH? Like, in Florida?!" Her tone was incredulous.
Lance was confused. "Well yeah. That's near our homebase." He couldn't figure out what the problem was.
"Jamie, I thought you were in Caifornia."
"Well, we were for a while. Annie, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, hon. I'm just a little surprised is all." She snorted before continuing, "Not surw tow to tell you this, so I'll just say it." She took a deep breath, "Jamie, I'm in Orlando."


Lance pulled into the parking lot of the tiny coffee shop, wondering if he wasn't making a huge mistake here. He could still call in security to meet him if he wanted. Thing was, he didn't really want to. He was just a little nervous about Annie's reaction when she first sees his face.
He'd been stunned to find out that they lived in the same city, and asked her to meet him before he could talk himself out of it. So they would have a cup of coffee together while they got to know each other in the flesh.
He slipped in the door, thanking God there wasn't a bell to alert her that he had arrived. She was sitting at the counter in the Orlando Magic jersey she said she'd wear. He approached her slowly, sitting easily on the stool next to her.
"Hey Annie."
Her head shot up, eyes widening in immediate recognition. Her brow then knitted in confusion.
"Uh... Jamie?"
"My first name is James. It's what my family calls me." He met her eyes, offering her his honesty.
"No. Fucking. Way." She shook her head in denial. "You just are NOT Lance Bass. This does NOT happen in my life." She was angry, and he was confused as to why.
She stood up, throwing some money on the counter.
"I guess this must've been a huge laugh fou, ou, huh? Boredom can be such a bitch." She turned and stomped toward the door.
Lance was up and across the room before she could get there, throwing his arms around her in a warm hug. She stiffened in surprise, and he knew he'd have to convince her of the truth.
"Please stay, Annie. I promise you this wasn't a joke, and that I meant every word I said to you." He pulled back to look her in the eye. "Why would I come here, and put myself in danger, if I wasn't serious?"
She studied him, still feeling a little hostile. Just the thought that he might've been playing her infuriated her beyond belief. He looked sincere, with those beautiful green eyes, and those full lips, down turned in worry. How could her James be Lance "fucking" Bass of *NSYNC? She'd had hopes for this friendship. High hopes that were shot to hell the moment she recognized him. Damn it. After all the months they had talked, she had made the mistake of falling a little in love with who she thought he wasen wen with their difference in age and life style. She had never come across anyone so honest and accepting, so supporting and encouraging without wanting anything back.
Wait a minute. You couldn't fake those things. Regardless of what he did for a living, he had to really be that person she'd come to know and love. So what if he was famous. Did she really expect something to happen between them? For god's sake, he's still a kid, and you're just a jaded adult with responsibilities.
Lance waited patiently while she thought it all over. He knew how it all looked to her, but he would try his best to convince her of the truth. He wasn't losing the only person who cared about HIM, James, and not Lance.
She looked up at him sadly. He really seemed worried, and that meshed with who she knew him to be.
"I'm sorry, Jamie. I guess I overreacted. It was kind of a shock, though, don't you think?" She grinned ruefully.
Lance grinned, grateful that she was a forgiving person.
"Yeah well, at least I wasn't Justin. You might've just fainted dead away." He chuckled, his deep voice like a caress in her ears.
Her impish sense of humor raised it's head. "Justin would've flown in in a helicopter and used this as achance to sign autographs."
Lance's eyes widened, and he laughed outright. "How do you know him so well?"
They walked back to the counter, still smg atg at their joke. Now they would be able to talk with out fear, maybe not as easily as they could online, but the way two people who just met could talk.
Lance was finally able to focus on what Annie looked like. He was pleasantly surprised to find her to be attractive. He wasn't stupid, and knew very well t hat she might have been 400 lbs. or ugly with a wart on her nose, but he was much too thankful for her objectivity for that to matter. Of course, in thck ock of his mind he knew meeting her would be the true test of their friendship.
Mentally shaking himself, he went back to checking her out.
The first thing he noticed was how animated she was. Her emotions were very evident, and she spoke with her whole body, her hands moving a mile a minute. Her eyes were a sparkling amber-brown, with early laugh-lines already in evidence, along with the traces of agony her husband's death had caused. Her shoulder-length mousy-brown hair almost obscured the simple silver loops she wore in her ears. She of of average height compared to his almost-6 ft., probably 5'5" or so. Her clothing was exactly what he'd expected, jeans and a loose tshirt under the jersey, with Nikes topping it off.
When he took a closer look at her body his mouth went drShe She was... he really couldn't think of the proper term. He knew one thing. She definitely was NOT his normal type. He referred the tall, willowy girls, like Sandra Bullock. Annie was the exact opposite. She wasnt tall, and her body was rounded and soft-looking. He found himself wanting to run his twitchy fingers over her (what WAS the right word?) ... voluptuous curves. She probably had 20 extra lbs. on her, but it gave her a warm, comfortable, and strangely sexy look. He thought maybe part of it was how she carried herself. She was sure of who she was, and had no desire to be something else. He didn't see that very often in his world.
Lance realized that e hae had stopped talking a while ago. He blushed a little as he brouht his eyes up to hers. She looked very amused.
"Get a good look, Jamie?" There was the lilt of laughter in her voice.
He decided to play along.
"Not nearly good enough. Care to remedy that?" If she only knew how very serious he was.
She chuckled in her sexy alto, "If only your bates tes could see you now, ogling an overweight mother who's over 10 years older than you." She laughed outright. "I'm sure they'd consider therapy for you."
Lance smirked. "They might, at that, but they've never questioned who I was interested in. They trust me to know who's good for me most of the time." He laughed self-deprecatingly. "The problem lately had been my LACK of companions, which is why Justin guilted me into that god-awful party."
Annie knew how much he had detested going to that party, and dealing with the shallow women who had hounded him there. She laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, hoping it was appropriate.
"How weird is it that you can touch me?" Lance was wishing he had a reason to touch her back.
"I know what you mean. I had the strongest urge to write out my "actions." She puntuated her words with "quotation" fingers.
Lance laughed, and then jumped when his cell phone rang at his hip. He quickly plucked it from his belt and held it to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Lansten, where the hell are you?" Chris was obviously in serious worry mode. "Are you completely nuts leavng without security?! We've all been going craor tor the last hour. You need to get your ass back here now." His tone brooked no argument, so Lance didn't offer any.
"OK Chris, I'm on my way." He closed the phone, knowing he would have to give them some sort of explaination.
"Time to go, huh?" Annie sounded disappointed.
"Yeah, I'm not supposed to leave without security, so they were really concerned. Guess I wasn't very responsible, huh?" He wanted her to tell him it was all right, that he occasionally got away by himself. Unfortunately, he had forgotten she was a mother.
"Jamie, now that I know who you are, I have to agree with the guys. What if you had run into a crowd of girls, or maybe some crazy person with an axe to grind against the music establishment? Your life is worth more than that. I'd hate to see you get hurt."
Lance felt warm from her concern, knowing it came from their friendship.
"OK, OK, I'll be more careful in the future. Now I've got to go."
They both got up and headed toward the door, where they turned to face each other again.
Annie's stuck her hand out, wishing she was brave enough to hug the beautiful man in front of her. He shook her hand, gazing at her through narrowed eyes.
"We go back on tour in a few days, the next time we talk it'll probably be online." He hoped she could hear how much he dreaded leaving.
"Not like we haven't done that before. And you've got my cell number if you feel the need." She turned to head out to her car, enjoying the warm sun on her face.
"Hey, I forgot to ask where the kids were. I kinda hoped I'd see them."
"My father-in-law keeps a trailer on our property that he stays in when he visits. He's watching them for me." She smiled a little sadly, and he resisted the urge to cup her face in his hand.
Suddenly solemn, he spoke his mind. "I'm glad we met, Annie. More glad than you can imagine. I'll be looking forward to chatting with you soon."
She smiled again, less sadly he thought. "Me too, Jamie. Goodbye."
And then she was gone, leaving him to sign an autograph for the waitress who approached him, and wish their time together could've been longer.


Lance popped into the chatroom only long enough to check for Annie, then he opened a private chat window for them.


SB: There's my hottie!;-)
MC: snort Are you drunk? Cause I think maybe you're in the wrong chatroom.
SB: Oh pleez! I've seen you now, so DEAL with the opinions. You are a VERY attractive woman. So there.
MC: mumbling Snot-nosed little
SB: Hey! indignant look
MC: hugs SB tightly Just joking, babe. You know you're my guy.
SB: Wish you could've done that in person.
MC: confused look Huh?
SB: :D The hug, you nitwit. It would've been nice to hug you before you left.
MC: Hmm. I wasn't sure if it was appropriate.
SB: Are you kidding?! It's always OK for you to touch me.
MC: snicker How did we get from hugging to touching?
SB: You rat! You know what I mean


(fade out)


They fell back into their old familiar relationship, only now they weren't so limited by hidden information. Since Lance had been willing to meet her, knowing his entire life would be exposed to her, she was more willing to talk about the things happening in her life. They exchanged snapshots through email, mainly of her kids. Lance discovered that he really liked children, and her's were at the great ages of 10 and 12, prime time for making friends with someone like himself.
Lance's life was still empty on the tour. He enjoyed singing, and being with this friends was always fun, but the glamour and glitter that surrounded *NSYNC was dragging him slowly and surely into a dark pit. The only light he found was with Annie. And that wasn't nearly often enough.


"I'm coming home in a few weeks." You'd think that statement would be accompanied by a lot of fanfair, but instead it was a quiet moment.
"Oh yeah? Should I call out the press? Paint the house? Join the army?" He could hear the smothered giggle as she joked with him.
"Oh please, not the press. Anything but that. We've been hounded lately as it is. As for the other two things that's entirely up to you." He snorted loudly. "I'm picturing you in fatigues, and oh baby, does it WORK."


Lance came though his front door, dropping his bags in the foyer so he could open his ringing phone.
"Hello?" he gasped out.
"Hey Catfish. Did I get you at a REALLY bad time?"
"What what do you mean?" He was still a little short of breath.
"Well you sound like I dragged you out of the sack at a crucial moment." Snicker
OK, sex jokes were just calling open season, so
"And how many times have you heard me straight from the sack, young lady? I mean, since you can tell and all." He dared her to continue.
"Oh shit, Jamie. Do you enjoy driving me nuts? If I ever saw you straight from the sack I'd most likely melt into a quivering glob of goo on your tiles."
Lance's heart was beating like a jackhammer at her words. Did she have any idea what she did to him sometimes?
"Jamie? You still there?"
"I'm here, Annie. Just tired, that's all. I think I'm gonna go lay down for a while." He really just wanted to get away and think about this for a while.
"OK, hon. You probably need to sleep for a week. You call me when you have a minute. Bye now." She was gone that fast, leaving Lance knowing that his attitude had hurt her.


Lance lay in bed thinking about Annie. He was coming to some painfully clear conclusions, and none of them were good.
First of all, he was falling for her in a big way, which wasn't good because it threatened her peace of mind. She'd finally gotten to the point where she could function, and even be happy, without her husband. The last thing she needed was some young punk like himself coming along and screwing with her emotions.
Second of all, he wasn't sure if he wasn't using Annie as a substitute for the people who "should" mean more in his life. Namely, his family and his bandmates. He was afraid that he was drawn to her simply because she had nothing to do with his career. That wouldn't be fair to either of them.
He had some decisions to make, and the simple answer was to push Annie out to arm's length.
He wasn't sure he could do that.


(2 weeks later.)
Lance's cell phone rang, and he picked up without looking at the display. Big mistake.
"Hello?"
"I need a moment of your time, James." Wow,had had no idea she could sound so cold. He suddenly missed her familiar "Jamie."
"Yeah. OK, Annie." He wondered if that was non-committal enough.
"No, I mean I need a moment of your TIME. There are a few things I need to say to YOU. I will not say them to a phone."
Shit. He was in the mix now. No way he could possibly talk his way out of it. Damn it, he just wasn't ready for this.
Sadly, "When and where do you want to meet?"
"Give me directions, cause I'm coming there right now." She was giving him no choice in the matter.
He gave her the directions with no argument.


The knock came entirely too soon for him. This was happening before he was prepared for it, and he wasn't sure he'd even make it through with his heart intact. But he had to try, for her.
Lance opened the door to find Ann quietly waiting. Her expression was carefully blank, her hands in her jeans pockets, giving no hint to her state of mind or mood.
"Come in." Lance stepped aside so that she could enter. He closed the door, turning to find her only as far as the doorway to the next room. He approached her slowly, gesturing for her to proceed him into the den. She found a seat on one of the couches, perching silently while he sat opposite her.
She met his gaze unflinchingly, piercing him with a searching look before speaking.
"I need you to tell me why you've been avoiding me, so that I can quit beating myself up about it." She was nothing if not direct.
He could've been surprised, but all he could manage was sad. There were so many things wrong with this, but he had to make sure that things stayed fair for her.
"James, I'm tired of this."
Could he speak? He only missed their friendship, right? Their chats, emails, telephone conversations, photo-swapping, and possible future meetings...
"Things have changed for me, and I'm not sure we should continue our friendship the way it has been." Damn, how did he sound so fucking so cold? The sad thing was, every word was true. Just not the way she thought it was.
She was stunned at my statement, but that didn't stop her.
"You never needed me, James, I accept that, but are you all right?" I was ready to scream if she called me "James" again, and What was that?! She's she's concerned about me AND believes I never needed her?!
"I'm fine, Ann." THAT sounded pretty fucking bad. Guess I don't have as much control as I'd like.
Her brow furrowed. "You sound like shit, Jamie. Now tell me what thel'sl's going on."
Jamie. No matter what else she says, now I know she still cares. Goddamnit.
"I'm fine." Better.
"You look like you haven't slept, and you sound like your dog died."
"I'm fine, Ann." You're slipping.
"I swear, I'll stay here until I find out what's wrong. You would NOT stop talking to me without a good reason." She stood up and put her hands on her hips. "Why won't you talk to me if you're so miserable?"
That's it. I can't take it.
"I'm FUCKING FINE, Annie!" Wow, deep voices lend themselves to bellowing.
She sat down. Hard. And then I got to see something I never wanted to. I saw Annie's eyes fill up with tears, and I saw them drip down her face, and then I saw her get up to leave.
My heart began to break right there. But she didn't leave. I felt a strange tugging, and heard her voice faintly through the roaring in my ears. I looked over to find my hand clasping hekeepkeeping her from walking out. She stared at me, no longer trying to pull away, wondering at my actions. I simply pulled her until she was close enough to grab, and hugged her as if my life depended on it.
And maybe it did.


Lance sat in a deck chair, staring at the calm water of his pool. It was 3am, but he couldn't possibly sleep with his thoughts in such a state. He'd never felt so out of control in his whole life, even including when *NSYNC first went on tour.
Si Sighing, he thought back to this afternoon, and his breakdown in front of Annie. She'd trusted him enough to leave without hearing an explanation, but she hadn't been very happy about it. Her concern for his emotional state was evident in the way she held him. While he clutched her, desperate to convey how sorry he was for treating their friendship so flippantly, she had simply wrapped her arms around his waist tightly. She somehow knew his need for steadiness.
Which brought him back to his current state of confusion. He was caught between a rock and a hard place, with no inkling as to what he should do about it. Whenever he had a problem to work out, he would talk to Annie. If he needed some support or encouragement, he could always expect it from Annie. Hell, if he just wanted to shoot the shit for a while, she was always willing to do that too. He was in deep shit because he couldn't talk to her right now, and he didn't understand why. He knew enough to realize that he needed to get his head together, though.
That short time she had been with him today had been both the most confused and the happiest he'd been in weeks. When she held him he felt like everything wrong had suddenly disappeared, and he wished he could hold her for the rest of his life?
Shit.
He envisioned himself as one of those old cartoons, where the light bulb suddenly flashes over their head when they GET A FUCKING CLUE. I mean, how could he not know this about himself? Was he completely self-delual? al?
No. He was falling for her. He was falling for a widowed mother of two who was more than a decade older than he.
Worse than that, he owed her an explanation for his recent attitude. He was going to have to tell her, and risk losing her friendship completely. He only hoped she would be able to deal with his feelings, and than he could get over them.


He met her at a small neighborhood park, that was infrequently used by the elderly residents of the area. He'd suggested such a place so that she woldn't feel nervous after he told her how he felt. This way she could leave if she felt threatened.
He walked across the sunlit grass, spying her on a shady bench with a notebook on her lap. Her pen scratched across the page, her tongue peeking from between her lips as she concentrated on what she wrote.
Lance's gut clinched at the thought of what he had to do. He'd never felt this kind of stage fright in his life, and didn't really know what to do to calm himself.
She finally noticed him, putting her notebook away as he sat down on the bench next to her. She smiled gently, reaching out with a hesitant hand to touch his shoulder lightly. He shuddered at the contact.
"Jamie, are you cold?"
Shit, she'd seen his reaction.
"I'm fine, Annie. I've just got a lot on my mind right now."
She eyed him with a narrowed gaze, until she was sure he wasn't going to continue.
"Anything you can tell me about this time?" She closed her eyes for a moment, as if looking for control. "Shit. I'm sorry Jamie. That was totally uncalled for."
"Annie, it's alright. I deserved it. I've been a really rotten friend lately, and I'm about to be even worse." He couldn't even meet her eyes.
"Whatever you need, Jamie. I'll just deal with it, 'cause that's what friends do." Her sincerity was warm on his heart.
How was he going to do this? Lance wasn't sure he could deal with her disgust if that's what she felt. He wasn't even really sure how to broach the subject without sounding like an t.
t.
Annie reached over and slipped her hand around one of his, pulling it back with her.
"You can tell me ANYTHING, Jamie. I'll never feel differently about you." She paused to swallow, hard. "I just need, my guy, back. I miss him." Her eyes glistened with emotion.
"I'm in love with you." Fuck. There goes any chance of easing into it.
He stared at his hand entwined in her's, waiting for some sort of response. For a long time there wasn't one.
Then
"Damn."
His head snapped up as she rose to her feet and began pacing. And talking to herself.
"Well, isn't THIS fucked up. How the hell did you manage this, Annie? Do you get up in the morning and say to yourself, 'Hey, let's see if we can fuck up some nice young man's life today.' There's no way he planned loving someone like you, 'cause he's got a full life and brilliant career that you could only fuck up, and how can you love someone so beautiful when you're so NOT, let alone the fact that you're 12 FUCKING years older than he is ----"
Lance placed his warm hand over her mouth, stemming the flow of vitriol she'd directed at herself. It was all he could do not to jump up and down and scream his joy into the heavens, but he needed to make sure he heard what he heard, first.
He left his hand over her mouth, moving just a little closer so that he could look her in the eye. Her's were wide, and a little freaky, as if she were on the verge of several emotions at on She She could go in any direction, so he had to be careful.
Softly, "You loe?"e?" He tried for that elusive purr that an old girlfriend had raved about. Now was the time to pull out all the stops.
Her eyes filled with tears, immediately leaking out and over her cheeks and his fingers. His hand shifted, thumbing the wetness away. She nodded, almost perceptably, her shoulders then slumping as she gave in to it.
Lance brought his other hand up, threading his fingers through her silky hair to cup the back of her head. Looking her dead in the eye, he pulled her forward slowly, making sure she had plenty of time to get away if she didn't want this. She didn't move, although she had that wild look again, as if she would take flight any moment. Lance just brought them inexorably closer together, never breaking eye contact.
He was amazed to realize that he had wanted this for a very long time. Maybe even before they met in the flesh, which was just to weird to contemplate. Just goes to show that the pop life isn't all it's cracked up to be, if he can only find his soulmate via the internet.
Drifting. Almost there.
Or maybe it's just love jumping boundaries to get the right people together.
Contact. Sweet bliss as they melt together, soft lips sliding over each other, bodies slowly pressing closer as their owners are caught up in the moment.
Lance's hand dropped to Annie's hip, causing her to roll said hip into him with an accompanying alto moan, her own hands slipping up to grip his shoulders. She stayed that way for a moment, before pushing Lance gently away. Their lips were the last to part, and it left them breathless.
Annie was the first to speak.
"I'm I'm sorry to let go like that. It's just been so damn long." She had her arms wrapped around herself, and her eyes were still closed as she savored the taste of him lingering in her mouth. The boy was in serious danger from her long-neglected libido.
Lance moved back in, nuzzling her ear as he ran his hands up and down her arms.
"How long has it been?" he breathed against her hair.
Annie shuddered, wondering if he knew how badly he was affecting her. Her fingers gathered up handfuls of his shirtfront, keeping him close.
She had to kiss him again, it was driving her nuts to hear that silky voice and be able to touch the lipswas was coming from. She grabbed an ear, ignoring his yelp as she tugged him up to meet mou mouth.
If the last kiss was amazing, this one was suicidal. His lips were parted slightly, and the heat of his breath was causing a seismic disturbance between her thighs.
She licked his lower lip, sucking on it's fullness as he again grabbed her hips, this time pressing their lower bodies together. There was no question of his being tuned on or not.
Remembering his question, she answered, "Since Will died."
Lance was instantly sobered by her words. He pulled back to look into her glazed eyes, wanting only to finish what they'd started. And they would, just not until he asked a few questions.
Kissing her gently, but chastely, he began, "That's been three years, honey. You've been alone all that time?"
A little taken aback by this sudden change in attitude, "If you mean have I been celibate, then yes.havehaven't exactly been looking for anyone, you know." This was NOT what she wanted to be doing.
His brow furrowed. "What about the guys you've dated since we started chatting? I mean, there was about one a month, right? There wasn't one guy among those that you were interested in?" Lance wasn't quite sure why it mattered, he just knew it did.
She lowered her eyes to the floor, her silence speaking pretty loudly.
Lance got it almost immediately.
"You never dated anyone, did you?" He was a little disappointed that she'd lied, but he was more interested in WHY.
"No." She still wouldn't look at him.
"Annie, why would you tell me you were going out if you really weren't? I thought you trusted me." Wow, that soundedtty tty hurt. Maybe his subconcious was bothered?
She pulled her shoulders back, finally getting the courage to look him in the eye.
"There were a couple of reasons, one of which was me not wanting anyone's pity. After Will's funeral (she paused here to swallow, thickly) I got the usual amount ofpathpathy cards, sympathetic calls, sympathy flowers, etc. It was fine for a while, because it forced me to have no choice but to deal with my loss." She moved away from him, beginning to pace again as she spoke. "It became a problem when no one could get past it. Every conversation I had would at some point come back around to my husband's horrible and untimely death. It was driving me nuts, and the KIDS" She threw her hands up in the air, the frustration plain on her face. "Well, they were in therapy for a while because of it." She stopped in front of him, seeming to lose her impetus as she reached the end of her tirade. "Telling everyone that I was getting on with my life, and seeing other men, was the only way I could get them to stop brig itg it up. It's that simple."
Lance considered her words, seeing the truth in them. He only had one question left.
"What about me? Why did you lie to me? You didn't even have to tell me about Will, so you can't use that as an excuse." He wasn't exactly angry with her, just extremely disappointed that she didn't trust him as much as he thought she did.
Her face crumpled.
"Fuck, Jamie. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings with this. I just meant to avoid a little issue so that we could continue to chat. I enjoyed it, and I didn't want something silly and juevenile to get in the way of that." OK, now she just ed eed embarrassed. What the hell?
"You've lost me, Annie. What issue?"
"The huge crush I had on you from the very first time we hooked up! I figured if you thought I was a woman who avoided attachments, WE could avoid the sort of conversations that would expose my feelings for you. I didn't want to run you off." She smiled ruefully. "It worked pretty well, don't you think?"
Lance was still a little stunned from learned she'd had feelings for him all this time, without even knowing who he was! And to think he'd felt the same way.
He swooped in, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her tightly against his wide chest. She "whooped" in surprise, chuckling deeply as he nuzzled her soft throat.
"Guess you're going to have to make up for all that lost time." Lance licker ear earlobe, thrilling to her shudder, and soft moan.
Breathless again, she gathered the shreds of her dignity and broached the last unvomfortable subject on her mind.
"Ja-Jamie" Her breathy voice spurred him on.
"Yeah, baby?" He murmured in between wet kisses to her shoulder.
Shit. Endearments. She definitely needed to get a grip here.
"Jamie. Oh shit, that feels good. Jamie what about about how old I am?" Deperation is nevery pretty.
Lance raised his head, stopping to kiss her lips tenderly before straightening up his full height.
"What are you REALLY worried about?" No more of this dancing around the issue.
Startled, she answered without hedging, for once.
"I'm not exactly the kind of woman you usually sleep with."
His eyes widened, as he thought back on all of the talks they'd had about groupies throwing themselves at him. Shit. Nothing like your past coming back to bite you on the ass.
She continued, "I'm not 19, and I haven't had a hard body for many years. In fact, the last time I had sex was three years ago, so I'm a little rusty. It might not be what you expect." Wow, that must've been hard to say.
Well, it was time to use some of that southern charm that Lance Bass was famous for. He knew how to make a woman feel beautiful, especially one he was in love with.
Before he could act, she went on, "Shit, Jamie, I've had two babies, so I've got stretch marks, and my tits sag, and I'm chubby, and" She tapered off into miserable silence.
"I know what you are, Annie." He ran a thumb along her hawline, loving the way her skin flushed at his touch. "I like your luscious curves," he punctuated with a finger down her soft side. She gasped. "It's actually nice to meet a woman who's built like a woman for once." He leaned in close. "I bet you'd be so soft against my bare skin." Her eyes were dilated, and half closed. If she only knew how truly sexy she was.
He suddenly couldn't wait any longer to touch her.
His voice a deep, soft, purr, "Can you come home with me?" His green eyes were glowing with desire, turning Annie's insides to a soft, warm goop.
"Um, I need to call home and see phone?"
He handed her his cell, and she backed away with it.
Lance watched her until she opened it up and started dialing, then turned toward his SUV. He leaned against the passenger door, watching her as she spoke to whoever was at home. She closed the cell, staring at him across the short distance for a moment. He watched as her chin raised almost imperceptably before she approached. He lifted an eyebrow in question.
"I'll follow you."


Lance shakily unlocked his front door, holding it open so that Annie could enter.
"Bathroom?" she asked quietly.
He pointed to the proper door, waiting until the door closed behind her to turn toward his bedroom. There wasn't really anything to prepare for this, but he wanted to make sure the room was neat, and the sheets were clean.
Lance grew hard again as he pictured her in his bed, hilkyilky brown hair spread across the pillow, her pale skin awai his his touch. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply to bring himself under control. It had been a long time for her, and he wanted to make it good for her.
Hearing a small noise behind him, he turned to find her standin thn the doorway, nervously rubbing her sweaty palms on her jean-clad thighs.
"My father-in-law is OK with me being late, but he's VERY interested in why. Not sure what I'm going to tell him when I get home." The situation obviously amused her.
He played along, "You could tell him the truth." He grinned sexily. "A green-eyed southern boy 'laid you down and whispered softly, pretty love words in your ear'." His low voice rumbled out the bit of song, giving her a fit of butterflies.
"He might not mind hearing it. He's been trying to get me out and seeing someone for the last year or so. Although the age difference would give him pause." Her fondness for the man was well known to Lance.
"I'm more worried about how YOU feel about it." And he was. He couldn't go on with this if she was uncomfortable.
Annie steadily crossed the room, her eyes never leaving his this time. She kept walking until she slid up against his broad chest, their faces just inches apart. She searched his face for a few moments, as if looking for some answer there.
"I think you're the most beautiful, sexy, man I've ever met. Your age only means you have a fresher, more optomistic view of life, and an eagerness to enjoy it. I'm thanking my lucky stars that you for some strange reason want to share yourself with me." Her eyes were glistening again.
Lance purred, "Lay those lips on me, mommychick."
Annie didn't hesitate, sliding her fingers around the back of his head, their lips meetwithwith a flood of emotion that nearly swamped them. Annie moaned, opening up for Lance's warm tongue to sweep through in slow, seductive strokes. She gripped handfuls of his hair, trying to stay on her feet.
Then she didn't need to, as Lance gently pushed her down to the bed, where he lay next to her, pulling her across his chest so that he could lock lips with her again. She slid a hand up his shirt, and things got serious.
Lance worked his tshirt off, needing some skin to skin contact if he was going to retain his sanity. Annie's shirt had mysteriously come unbuttoned to reveal her simple cotton bra, covering a not-so-simple set of size 38D breasts! Lance's mind worked over the things he would do to those once he had a chance. In the meantime there were articles of clothing to shed.
Their mouths came back together, and they were open, and wet, and god, so hot. Lance just could NOT keep his lips from her skin, and when they broke for breath he just latched on to her jawline, and her soft throat, her smooth shoulder His fingers slid under her bra straps, pulling them down her arms with a light touch that left goosebumps. Wrapping his arms around her, he expertly unhooked the clasp.
Annie chuckled. "Hmm, not exactly new at this, are you."
Lance rumbled a laugh against her shoulder. "You'll be thanking me for that, later." He smoothed the garment away from her body, running light fingers over the side of her breast.
Annie gasped. "Shit --- already thanking "
Lance sat back to examine his newly uncovered treasures.
"You're beautiful, Annie. Why on earth were you worried?" He cupped a breast, thumbing the taut, brown peak, and loving the sounds he was eliciting from his lover.
Her voice was breathy as she answered, "Breastfeeding two --- babies does some damage to the bod, honey."
Lance's heart beat faster, just the mental picture of a baby nursing at her breast giving him an erotic boost. He groaned deep in his throat, leaning over to take a protruding nipple between his lips.
"OH SHIT." Her body bowed up in ecstasy as he suckled, caressing the fleshy globe. "Wait."
He sat up in surprise as she pushed at him, jumping off the bed to begin shucking off her jeans.
Lance chuckled sexily. "In a hurry, baby?"
She kicked the denim to the side, only stopping from stripping off her panties when Lance took over.
"I want you, Jamie, you green-eyed GOD."
Her eyes closed when Lance slid his hands under the waistband of her panties, cupping her ass. He pushed them down over her hips, letting them fall to the floor as he leaned in to press his lips against her softly rounded belly.
"Mmmm" Annie's head rolled back on her neck as Lance licked and nuzzled at her sensitive belly.
Lance couldn't believe how fucking hot this was. He was out of his mind with need for her. He'd never felt this level of desire before, he was sure. His cock was as hard as granite, and throbbing so hard he could hear it in his ears. If he wasn't inside her soon, he might hurt himself.
The problem was, he couldn't stop touching her, and kissing her, and licking her soft skin. He wanted to devour her, and make her scream his name.
Lance wanted to drive her as insane as he was being driven. He was using every trick learned in a hundred casual encounters to make her always remember their first night together.
Annie's head lolled as Lance licked and kissed her abdomen. He was so entranced by her rounded belly that he couldn't get away from it. This was where she'd grown her kids, and where they'd lain while she fed them from her own breasts. There was life here, within this woman's body. He wanted some of it, wanted to experience that life for himself.
Lance wrapped his large hands around her ample waist, turning her to gently lay her back to the bed. He pulled his hands down over her hips to her thigh, leaning down to kiss her belly one more time. He looked up to catch a glimpse of her eyes shining through half-closed lids.
Grinning, he crawled up her body, his lips slanting hungrily over hers, parting the soft, swollen skin. His tongue dove between her teeth, licking and plundering, as one hand cradled the back of her head, fingers twisted in her hair, tilting her face back. She clung to him, kneading the skin of his back, reveling in the shift of the muscles beneath it. Perfect, he was perfect, and he was hers, at least for a little while
Lance groaned as a soft leg hooked around his waist, drawing him down into the welcoming cradle of her hips. "Annie" He could smell the hot scent of her body, musky and arousing, and it made him dizzy. Through the haze of desire that surrounded him, uncertainty for their future raised it's head, only to battled away by need and love.
He would have this, THEY would have this.
She gasped and shivered as his lips relunctantly left hers, tracking down the pulse that throbbed in her throat. He exhaled slowly, then dipped his tongue out to trace the hollow between her breasts.
Shaking with restraint, Lance slipped one hand under his lover's body and up to cup her shoulder, his other hand finding purchase on the rise of her ribcage. His thumb barely skimmed the lower swell of one alabaster mound, and Annie jerked, her head tossing. He nuzzled his cheek into one generous breast, glorying in the electric moan that spilled from her as a stubbly chin grazed her nipple.
Annie struggled to open her eyes as Lance's lips trailed a path to the aching tip of bre breast, replacing the tantalizing scratf bef beard with the wet softness of his tongue. She writhed beneath him, her hands everywhere, on his back and in his hair, urging him closer. "Jamie" He raised his eyes without raising his mouth, and he watched as her head tilted back into the comforter. Her back arched, pressing her breasts upward, and he opened his mouth further, taking in as much of her fevered flesh as possible.
Spurred on by the soft gasps and moans coming from her, Lance moved lower, his tongue marking a wet slide down over his ribs and gorgeous stomach. His hand curled into the comforter, clenching tightly, as Annie's hips instinctively bucked.
"Shit, Jamie"
He bypassed the deep dip of his navel, stopping only briefly to skim his lips over the muted crest of one hipbone. He wished he had the time and the self-control to linger longer, to drag it out for hours until she was half crazy with sensation, wanting and seeing and feeling nothing but him.
But he didn't have either, so he leaned back and hooked his hands between and under her thighs, urging them apart. He had to taste her, feather his lips against her nakedness and push her over the edge, because he knew he wouldn't be long in following.
She looked down at him kneeling between her thighs, his chest heaving and lightly sheened with sweat. His stomach muscles rippled above the waistband of his jeans, and she licked her lips, eliciting a groan from him. "Take them off, Jamie." She didn't have to elaborate.
The groan became a deep laugh. "Too dangerous." If he removed his clothes, he'd be tempted -- so tempted -- to just take her, to drive into her body until ecstasy overtook him He had to show her how good it could be first.
But Annie raised herself onto her elbows. "Off." Her heavy, sultry demand left no room for argument, and Lance arched an eyebrow as he slid off the bed to stand at it's foot.
Annie shivered as she watched Lance's fingers drop to the button of his jeans. She sat up further. "Hurry up, Jamie. Please."
Her hair fell across one side of her face, deep brown contrasting sharply with pale skin, and Lance yanked the zipper of his jeans, narrowly missing an injury. He cursed softly and kicked free of the fabric, his legs and hands shaking.
She fixed her gaze on his manhood, on the rigid flesh jutting towards her. The tip glistened with evidence of the desire he was fighting to contain, and her breath caught in her throat.
Then the mattress dipped beneath his weight, and his hands were once again on her legs. He lifted one, sliding his palm down along the outer edge of her thigh as his lips touched the inside of her knee. Her whimpering gasp made his heart pound, but the waited until her arms relaxed, until she was lying back on the bed once more. He leaned forward, whispering her name. Annie gasped and turned her face into the pillow as Lance kissed her, his lips and tongue touching her in the most intimate way possible. It had never felt the way before, and she shook. "Jamie! Oh god, stop please"
He didn't stop, though her muffled pleas drew his gaze to her face. It was buried against the pillowcase, and he groanliftlifting a hand to her stomach. It fluttered beneath his flesh, just like the rest of her, and he paused. "Look at me, Annie."
The instant her head turned, eyes locked with his and glazed with a pleasure so intense it looked close to pain, he brushed his tongue over her sex again, drawing her up off the bed. "God!"
Lance lightened his touch, wanting to draw out the way her body was shivering under him. He eyes clenched shut as she bucked again, whimpering something that could have been his name and clutching the comforter in her fists. His fingers gripped her hips, trying to hold her still, but her shaking was uncontrollable.
Fuck, it was heaven, feeling and tasting and touching her. And it was beyond ecstasy. He turned his head and pressed his lips reverently to the baby-soft skin of her inner thigh f