Hands Down

A/N: "Hands Down" is a song by "Dashboard Confessional." This was written before Bam broke up with Jenn Rivell. This is the start of my angsty stories, sorry. and of course usual disclaimer, I don't own anyone and this is fiction.

Bam yawned as he woke up. He froze, feeling someone's arms around him...someone's breath softly on his neck. He opened his curious ice blue eyes and found himself staring into the beautiful face of Ville Valo. Shocked for a moment, he could only think about how gorgeous his friend was...how lucky he was to be in his arms.

Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep, this air is blessed, you share with me.

Then he started to think...why? It was still dark outside...what had they been doing that night? His heart beat quickly as he thought. He was finally in the arms of the only man he had ever loved...the only man he ever would love...but it was too late for this...it was much too late. When tommorow came...he shivered as Ville's eyes slowly opened.

"Bam..." Ville looked into his eyes, but didn't move his arms.

"It's too late for..." he choked on his words, not daring to speak above a whisper.

"It's not too late...not too late for me to be here with you."

The words are hushed lets not get busted

As Bam pushed himself against Ville's chest, the Finnish singer tried to push away the thoughts he had been having. The next day, Bam was going to finally marry Jenn. Finally. He knew they loved each other. He knew he loved Jonna. But that didn't and couldn't ever change the part of him that would always love his idiot skater Bammy. Apparently, both of them exhausted had fallen asleep on Bam's bed. Now they were in each other's arms for the first...

Just lay entwined here, undiscovered.

...and last time. Bam gulped and pushed his face against Ville's chest. He tried to stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks. He knew Jenn and some of her friends were probably asleep in the next room over, and he wanted to lie in Ville's arms as long as possible...he didn't want anyone to find them...he didn't want anyone to interrupt them.

Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear...

Ville looked down at Bam's head and shaking shoulders and knew he was crying silently to himself. He could only rub his friend's back softly, and try to ignore the twisting feeling in his chest. Life was just this way...sometimes it just played out this way. They couldn't be together because they were both guys...they couldn't be together because they were both afraid to say something...they couldn't be together because of the women in their lives. Society would probably always have it's little way of ruining everything they deemed to be wrong. He kissed the top of Bam's head and pulled his head up to look into his eyes. Bam looked up, his eyes glassy and tears staining his cheeks.

My hopes are so high, that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy.

Ville kissed his forehead gently. They heard footsteps and laughter as someone went down the hall and into a nearby bedroom.

"Let's go outside, ok?" Ville whispered gently into Bam's ear.

"Ok."

The pair got up and crept slowly to the door. Bam poked his head out the door and saw no one. He nodded to Ville and they quickly ran down the hall and then down the steps and finally got outside and walked off towards the woods. The grass was wet from the rain earlier that day. And the air smelled like the rain still. The crickets chirped and the night sky was cloudless and beautiful. It was of course, summertime in Pennsylvania. Bam took Ville's hand in his and smiled at his friend. Ville smiled back, slightly blushing. Sometimes the two didn't need words. They knew what the other was thinking.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember

Finally they stopped in a field and stared up at the sky.

"Bam...this is the only time I can ever say this to you. But I want you to know no matter what...it will always be true. I mean this."

"Ville..."

"Bam Margera, I love you...I love you with all of my little black heart."

"And I love you Ville Valo...I love more then you'll ever fucking know..."

Ville pulled Bam into his arms again, wrapping his arms around his friend's waist. Bam quickly looked up and pushed his lips against Ville's in desperation. Ville gripped Bam's waist harder and kissed back.

And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist and you kissed me like you meant it.

They both knew they couldn't be in each other's futures. Especially not with Bam getting married and Ville being engaged. The rules of the world...the love of other people...the hatred of other people had broken up a beautiful romance before it could even start. But no one and nothing could ever make them forget this time and the love they shared without any words. For the next few minutes, they could only kiss and become lost in each other's arms. And they knew this moment would always...always...mean something to both of them.

And I knew that you meant it...

The End