Your Actions, Your Words

Disclaimer: Nothing to do with Green Day. This is fiction. I make no money. Song is property of GooGoo Dolls.

A/N: I'm still coming up with Billie Joe's alphabet. It's going to take a day or two. Meanwhile, if I don't do some side projects, I'll wither and die.

Your Actions, Your Words

"When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am."

I ran. I've never ran from anything in my life. But when he kissed me, I ran faster than I ever have. I didn't look back. I didn't even swear when I tripped over my shoelaces.

But I never made it out the front door. My hand grasped the doorknob and I fell to the floor, choking on sobs. Why was I so scared? He's my best friend.

I hear footsteps, but they stop. "Billie . . . I'm sorry."

I wipe at my face, but don't get up. I pull my knees to my chin. I feel like I'm fourteen and fucking confused, so I'm going to act it, god dammit. "Are you?"

"I didn't mean to scare you."

"Are you sorry?"

"I'm sorry I scared you." he repeats.

"Are you sorry you kissed me?"

Hesitation. Mike can't lie to me. "No." he whispers finally.

"Good." I push my up and turn to look at him. "Because if you were sorry it meant that was a throw away, that it meant nothing."

He stares at me. "It wasn't a throw away." he says.

"Do it again." I order.

"Brat." But he presses me against the door and lowers his lips to mine, slipping his tongue into my open mouth.

I reach behind me to lock the door. Somehow, without ever breaking the kiss, we make it to the couch. Mike's on top of me, kissing my neck now.

I hate how perfect this feels and how much I love it. I hate loving it. I hate that I love Mike and that Mike loves me. It hurts to hate this much.

His lips come up to my ear to whisper those three words again, words that cause me to burst into tears and Mike to wipe them away with calloused fingers.

"Billie Joe?"

He doesn't understand. Kisses mean something. Actions mean something. Every action means something. Words are shit. They don't mean a single fucking thing. Anytime someone says 'I love you', they can take it back.

And they always do.

"Don't say that." I whisper finally.

He leans his forehead against mine. "Why?"

"You'll just take it back later."

"No." he breathes. "Never."

"I'll kiss you back, Mike. You don't have to say anything."

"I've loved you since we were kids, Billie Joe. I can't take it back. I couldn't if I wanted to."

"S-Since we were kids?" His blue eyes stare into mine as he nods. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I wanted you to be happy. I thought if I said it, it might fuck that up."

"Did you ever stop loving me?" I whisper. He shakes his head. "Even through Adie?"

"Yes."

---

We're on the bed. He pulls my clothes off, his hands and lips devouring my flesh. His teeth are biting me. His fingers are around my cock, causing me to gasp. Calloused fingers against me. "M-Mike . . ."

His teeth leave my skin and suddenly I feel his mouth on me, taking part of me and more and more until finally I'm in his mouth entirely. My hands are in his hair and I'm staring at the blurred scene through tears.

One of his hands runs quickly through my hair and I moan as I feel a finger slip into me. A finger, I realize, lubricated with my sweat. Mike adds another finger and slowly moved them in and out, increasing speed and he brings me closer to orgasm.

Then, suddenly, his mouth's gone. I know what's coming as I feel his fingers move apart and go back together, loosening me up. I close my eyes as I hear him spit into his hand. I've tried this on my own enough that I know it's going to hurt.

He slips inside me slowly, pausing every few seconds as I tense. I can't help it. He's longer and thicker than any toy I've ever used on myself.

When he's in all the way, he kisses my cheek. "You okay?"

I nod, biting the inside of my cheek now.

"Look at me."

Slowly, I open my eyes, relaxing as I stare into his. I cry out as he thrusts into me and my eyes close again.

"No. Open them."

It hurts so bad the first few thrusts. Seven. I counted. But I keep my eyes open, shake my head when he asks if I want him to stop.

Then suddenly . . .

"F-Fuck!" I arch my back, thrusting against him. "G-God. Do that again."

Every thrust hits that spot. I moan when I feel his hand wrap around my length again, stroking me out of time with his thrusts in no real rhythm.

Every muscle in my body feels like it's on fire, my bones turn to dust . . .

"Mike!" I scream as I feel myself climax, spilling into his hand.

He licks his fingers as he continues to thrust and doesn't come inside of me until his hand's clean. Then he falls against me, his lips against mine. I taste myself in his mouth.

"I love you, Billie Joe." he whispers.

Slowly, I nod. "I know."

That seems to be enough for him, but I kiss his cheek before his eyes close completely.

"I love you, too."

---

Hmmm . . . don't know.