2190 days

This story can be found on http://syss.deviantart.com and http://yaoi.y-gallery.net/user/kunoichi/. If you want to post it somewhere, it is ok, as long as you ask me first, and publish my name/link to any of the places it is submitted.
This is pairing between Mana and Gackt, but there is no nudity at all.
I really would like some review, I love getting feedback on my work, but PLEASE keep it serious and constructive!
The characters are living people, except for Jaqueline, who is my original.
I don't make any profit from this story, it just exists to pleasure me and other fans.

----------------------

Mana walked the way up to the house. The pavement was wet, and the rain fell lightly over his black, soft hair. For once, he let it hang loose, creating a frame embracing his pale face. Today he wasn't wearing any makeup, to make people not recognize him, but his lips still looked soft, and his cheeks took on a slighly pink color because of the cold air outside. It was the end of November, and almost all of the red maple leaves had left the trees and created a soft, brownredish mat on the grass under them.
Mana stopped some ten metres from the house. It was such a long time since he was here the last time, but everything looked the same. He clearly remembered that last time, which was about six years ago. It had been late November that time too, so it was all like before, but that time, the rain had been falling even heavier and Mana had used an umbrella not to be soaking wet.
He saw a shadow in one of the windows upstairs, he noticed it was not the person he came to see.
He walked the last ten metres up to the house and rang the bell. He thought about the other person, who could it be? Insecurity and jealousy rose inside him.
I hope it's not another lover... he thought to himself when the door opened.
There stood a girl, dressed in a mossgreen long velvet dress, her long, soft, dark brown hair in a high ponytail. She looked Japanese except for her blue eyes and her eyebrows, which were lower than Japanese girls' eyebrows usually are.
- Yes? she asked in a slightly accented Japanese, which sounded more like the one of a foreigner.
Mana stood quiet for a short while. Is she a new lover of his, this half breed gothic foreign girl...?
- Ah... Is your master at home?
The word just escaped his mouth, and he noticed he had been sounding a bit rude. Judging.
- I'm sorry...?
She looked very confused. Maybe she didn't understand what he had meant with those words. Then suddenly, her face shone up, as if she understood the meaning of life. What a drastic person...! Mana thought to her reaction.
- Ah, I understand!
She smiled to him, letting him inside.
He took off his shoes at the entrance. He didn't like to be without his high heel plateau boots, he felt naked, and short. Why couldn't he be tall, like western men?
He noticed that without his shoes, the woman was taller than him. Damn you woman...
She led him to the room that was located furthest away to the right. The library. He was there? As always, as before, then.
The memories came back to him. He had been walking through this hall so many times, he had entered the library so many times, to find him sitting in his dark red armchair.
- Kirei-kun, you have a visitor.
Kirei-kun...? Why is she calling him that?
Mana stepped into the room, and saw how he rose from the same armchair as he had always done before. His extensions fell heavily over his shoulders. Mana recalled the time of Voyage(1), when his hair had been falling down to his waist. He had been extremely beautiful at that time. he still was, and had always been, but at that point, he had looked so... magical?
- Mana... What are you doing here?
He didn't sound angry or anything like that, only surprised. Well, it was understandable, since Mana hadn't been visiting the house for six years.
- I wanted to see you again, Gackt-san... I have been thinking a lot about you lately.
He spoke in a low voice, keeping his eyes fixed to the floor, affraid to show too much if he looked into Gackt's eyes. Gackt walked up to him. He stopped some 30 centimetres from him. Mana raised his head and met Gackt's eyes. Gackt was a little taller than him when none of them wore shoes, and he had to look up a little.
- Is it raining? Gackt asked, and seemed to be insecure about this situation. He seemed to be trying to make it a nonsence dialogue. Was he scared of something? Feelings?
Mana stroke a hand over his wet hair.
- Well, yes... Just like six years ago...
He still spoke in a low voice, like he was talking to himself.
- Mana-san...
Mana-san!? Since when have I become -san to him? He used to call me -kun. Is he pretending he doesn't know me any longer...?
Mana tried to hide his anger. That was not what he wanted to hear from such a beloved person.
- Why have you come back to my house?
Mana lowered his head. He was too close to tears, and even if Gackt was one of very few people who had ever seen his emotions, he was afraid to cry in front of him. Especially after such a long time.
- I... I have tried so long... Six years without you, Gackt.san...For six years, something have been missing in my life... I feel empty without you, I can't take it any more.
A long silence followed his words. Gackt looked at Mana, his eyes told that he was surprised to hear this. After what seemes like an eternity, Gackt got closer to him.
- Mana-kun...
He embraced Mana. The first touch for a far too long time. Mana couldn't hold back his tears. He tightened his arms around Gackt. The tears fell down his cheeks and left wet spots on Gackt's black shirt.
- Mana-kun, is it really that bad?
Gackt let Mana go, and placed a hand on his pale, wet cheek. The only trace of Mana's crying was the tears. He wasn't shivering at all. He had taught himself to get rid of such things a long time ago. But his eyes still spoke about his feelings.
He nodded. He didn't say anything, he was afraid to let something go, to lose control.
- Please, sit down.
Gackt made a gesture towards the couch. Mana sat down and dried the tears away from his cheeks. Gackt walked to the door and called for the woman.
- Jaqueline, could you please get us some tea?
- Of course, Kirei-kun! she called back from another room.
Jaqueline, a french name? Is she french...? Mana got even a little bit more jealous. gackt walked back and sat down beside Mana.
- Who is she...? he asked in a low voice, trying to hide his thoughts of her.
- Jaqueline?
- Yes... Is she one of your lovers...?
His voice was close to tremble because of jealousy growing inside him.
Gackt laughed, the way one laugh to a child who just asked something funny.
- No... she is my step cousin. Her mother is french, Jaqueline has been living in Paris since she was eight. She's here for a visit.
Mana felt relieved. Maybe Gackt had stopped having girls around.
- We used to play a lot when we were young. She's one year older than me.
- She's calling you Kirei-kun...?
- Yes. She has done that since she started talking. She always thought I was so KIREI(2). Did you really think she was my lover?
Mana nodded again, and bit his lip. He felt stupid, he felt like he was just making conclusions without even trying to find the truth.
- Mana, you know I don't really like women.
Jaqueline entered the room with a tray. She placed the tea cups on the small dark brown table.
- Well, I'm not gonna disturb you, she said and smiled. She left the room, humming on a Malice Mizer song from the Merveilles(3) album.
Is she excited to see me here? I wonder how much she knows about me, that girl...
He continued the conversation with Gackt.
- But why did you have so many girls if you didn't like them?
- You want me to speak the truth?
- Of course I want you to, Gackt-san. You know what I think of lies... especielly if you tell them...
- Well, Mana... You know how sailors become when they are travelling without girls for a very long time? They can't take it, and they start having sex with each other. They turn gay... Well, the same thing, but opposite happened to me. One person, I don't wanna tell you who, almost forced me to be with only women. Sure, I performed some gay stuff on stage, like Vanilla(4)...
Mana smiled just thinking of that. He had watched it so many times, just to see Gackt's acting on that live show.
- But I never got anything from a guy. And I couldn't stand it, so I took the ones available... women. And there's another reason too....
He caught Mana's eyes, and nailed him, kept him looking into his eyes.
- After I left you, Mana-kun, I felt... I missed you so very much, but I didn't want to go back, I thought I would feel so stupid. I had some sexual relationship with the girls, to calm my sexual desire, and because they were the only ones I could get... But I never felt any real satisfaction with them. I know there is only one person who can make me feel true sexual satisfaction. And that's you... Mana-kun...
Mana felt how his whole body got warm, his heart pounding in double speed. Suddenly he felt a deadly strong desire. He hadn't had anyone for six years, no sexual relationship with anybody. He didn't want anyone other than Gackt. of course he had been doing some things himself, but as it seemed for Gackt, even Mana had been unable to feel real satisfaction.
Still looking deep into Mana's eyes, Gackt leaned forward and they met in a passionated kiss. They both let go of everything else, embraced each other and gave every sane piece of their minds to their lust.
Mana couldn't hold back, and started crying once again. The tear fell slowly down his cheek and ended up on Gackt's chin.
Their lips separated and they stood watching each other.
- Gackt-san... do you want to come back to me?
Mana looked at Gackt, his eyes begging him to answer yes. Gackt lowered his face.
- I want to, Mana-kun... as long as we can make it secret... is that okay?
He looked up on Mana again. Mana understood why he wanted it to be a secret. It was no use for anyone of them to bring such news up in the underground world that Mana was in, or the more mainstream world that Gackt have happened to get into.
- Yes, Gackt-san. That is okay. By the way, can I make a wish?
Gackt smiled.
- Wish whatever you want...
Mana was quiet for a short shile.
- I wish for you to say that you love me...
They stood watching each other for a while. Gackt kept quiet. Mana started to get a little anxious. He knew that Gackt was an honest person, he wouldn't lie, at least not to him. But why was he so quiet. Is there something he's hiding from me? Doesn't he love me any mroe? But what about all that he said, that noone else than him could give him satisfaction...?
Mana tried to push the anxiety away. Gackt just had to love him, there was no other way...
A smile spread on Gackt's lips. In that moment, all of Mana's doubts just vanished. He knew it
- Mana-kun. Kimi wo aishitemasu. Zutto(5).

(1) Voyage sans retour, album released 1996
(2) Kirei means "pure"
(3) Merveilles, album released 1998
(4) Vanilla, Gackt single released in 1999, very sexual. I highly recommand to watch the live video from 2001 (I think?) , if you like gay stuff... ;)
(5)"Kimi wo aishitemasu. Zutto" means; "I love you. Always." ("Aishitemasu" is the same as "Aishiteru")