Losing the Innocence of Faith

Disclaimer: I don't own My Chemical Romance or anyone associated with them. This is a work of fiction and I credit songs where needed. Don't sue me because I'm broke. Thank you. However, I own the story itself, so don't steal it or I'll kick you really really hard in stilletos and it will hurt.

And I know the last time I said 'may become Waycest' it didn't. However, Waycest works much much better with this story. You'll see when you read.

Also, I needed to get some practice for the pairing in 'Two for Tragedy', so a standalone should be up today as well. Hopefully, an update on 'Two for Tragedy' by Sunday.

By the way, I do know Gerard and Mikey's parents names, but since they are portrayed as so evil. Well, actually . . . you'll see, I chose to give them false names.

Song is property of MCR, as you should know.

Losing the Innocence of Faith
Chapter One: It Begins

"You can't touch my brother."

Mikey recalled vividly the first time it happened. He knew that it was three days after his fourteenth birthday and he was wearing khakis and a dress shirt because they were getting ready for church. Sighing the way most typical fourteen year olds would sigh at the thought of listening to a ninety minute sermon, he reached for his shoes.

In the next room, Gerard and his mother were arguing. Actually, arguing was the wrong word. A passionate rage of the nonincestual type was exploding next door as Gerard stubbornly refused to get ready for church and screamed that God was dead.

Against his better judgement, Mikey abandoned his shoes and walked across the hallway, laying his ear against the door, although it was hardly necessary from the decibel of their tones. "Gerard, everyone has a crisis of faith." their mother was saying, much more quietly now. "Maybe after church we can--"

"I'm not going." Gerard repeated. "And if you try and drag me to it, I'll kill myself."

Mikey's eyes widened. He knew it was an empty threat, more to piss their mother off at the unforgiveable sin. But who's eyes don't widen when their older brother threatens to commit suicide?

"Gerard, don't say that." The woman was on the verge of tears now. "Now, get up and get dressed because you're going and that's final."

"No." Gerard said stubbornly. "I'm not going. You can't make me."

Mikey didn't even hear the footsteps on the stairs as their father stumbled up them, determined to put an end to the fight, one way or another. He glared at Mikey, before grabbing his youngest son by the arm and pulling him away from the door. "Get your ass back to your room and finish getting ready."

Mikey sighed and rolled his eyes. Nice Dad. Try and drag Gee to church right after you just cursed. God would be so proud.

He didn't move, however and watched almost fearfully as his father pushed Gerard's door open and stormed inside. Mikey inched closer until he could see just enough of the scene. Their father had Gerard by the arm. "You're going to church. You need that place more than anyone in this house, perversing the world with your faggotry."

Mikey's eyes widened. Gerard was gay? And his parents thought church was going to help? He felt like he did when he was five and his parents used to spell words in front of him instead of saying them. How come he was always the last to know?

Gerard was pissed. He never used words like 'fag' and 'queer'. Mikey didn't either, most of the time. And never around his older brother. Gerard struggled against his father's death grip. "Bite me." he snapped.

Ellen cried out as her husband struck Gerard across the face. "No! James, don't. Please, let's just go downstairs."

Mikey retreated to his room until he heard his parents going downstairs after his father screamed a few choice homophobic phrases at the oldest Way brother.

Slowly, Mikey creeped over to his brother's room. "Gee?" he asked softly when he got to the doorway.

Gerard laughed bitterly. "You better get ready for church, Mikey. Dad's going to freak if neither of us goes."

Mikey shook his head and sat down next to Gerard on the bed. "I don't want to go without you. It's so boring."

Gerard laughed for real that time. "What? Do I make the old fart less boring or something?" He put his arm around Mikey, who leaned against his shoulder.

"A little bit." Mikey said, turning so his face was buried in Gerard's shoulder. "Are you really gay?" he asked, voice slightly muffled.

"Yeah."

Mikey nodded, sitting up. "I don't care, you know. It's stupid for them to think church is going to change that or something. They're so stupid sometimes."

Gerard got really serious and grabbed Mikey by the shoulders, staring straight into his eyes. "Don't say that to them, Mikey. Just pretend you think I'm sick, too, okay? Dad gets really freaked about this stuff and I don't want him hitting you."

"But--"

Gerard shook his head. "Just go finish getting ready. It'll be okay."

Mikey hugged his brother quickly before standing up and heading to his room, swearing under his breath. People were really stupid sometimes. Especially parents who think they know everything.

* * *

". . . your stupid faggot brother--"

"James, stop." Ellen pleaded.

"As soon as he's eighteen . . . Faggotry is a disease, Michael, so I don't want you--"

"Dad, knock it off." Mikey said from the backseat, ignoring his brother's warning. "You don't have to call him names."

He started to think maybe Gerard knew what he was talking about when his dad pulled the car over onto the side of the road. And he knew it was true when his dad turned around and backhanded him over the driver's seat.

"Don't you ever talk to me that way again. And don't defend that piece of shit brother of yours either."

* * *

It was that night, after Gerard had sighed and gotten ice for the bruise on Mikey's cheekbone and repeated his earlier warning, having enough tact not to say 'I told you so'. After Gerard had answered some of the questions Mikey said were 'stupid' and after Gerard had tucked Mikey into bed as if he were five.

Mikey heard his door open and sat up, squinting in the dark. He reached for his glasses and slipped them on, starting a bit when he saw his father in the shadows. He didn't know what was going on. Their father usually didn't hit them except during the argument. "D-Dad?"

His father shut the door and came over to the bed, turning on the lamp as he walked. He put his hand over his youngest son's mouth. "You struggle or say no or say anything for that matter, I'm going to Gerard's room instead."

Mikey didn't understand until his father pulled the covers away and tugged at the sweats Mikey was wearing. His brown eyes widened as his father pulled off his own clothes, but the young boy refused to move. He bit his lip as he was taken in one quick, painful motion. Mikey only knew about preparation and lubrication because of the questions he had asked Gerard earlier. Now he knew why they were necessary for this.

His eyes filled with tears as his father's thrusts increased in both speed and depth. At any second he felt he was going to rip in half, but he didn't.

He only cried after his father had left the room nd he had pulled his pants back on. And even though the tears weren't loud, Gerard knew. Gerard always knew. He pushed Mikey's door open and moved toward his brother's bed, kneeling on the floor and stroking his brother's hair when the fourteen year old through his stick arms around his own neck.

"Mikey. Calm down, kid. What is it?" Gerard asked softly.

Mikey just shook his head and continued to cry. He wouldn't stop until Gerard let Mikey crawl into his bed. And even then, the crying lasted too long for Gerard's peace of mind. Mikey cried occasionally during a really bad nightmare or a thunderstorm that made them lose power. Mikey didn't like darkness that he couldn't bandish with a lightswitch.

But Gerard hadn't seen Mikey cry like that since they were kids.

He was hoping his brother would be more up to discussing it in the morning.

No such luck.

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