Poisoned and Hopeless

I'm afraid cowbell isn't going to cure me of my fever. But, also, it's interesting how when I'm burning like a pile of cinders, I find myself more fueled to write. My Muses must get high off the heat since it's so rare. *knocks on head* Stoppit.

Regardless, 3 hours of doing nothing but sitting in a car and listening to songs can help one brainstorm new ideas.

So, I'm going to cut the rambling and just give it to you.

Also, I wrote like 80% of this listening to "Happy Home" by Garbage on loop. It really set the mood. I should have the song downloadable so people can listen to it as they read cause it really does set the mood. D:

Title: Poisoned and Hopeless
Rated: MA
Warnings: profanity, oral sex... and angst.
Summary: The title itself is a lyric from a song. I won't say which, but in the end. Hahaha. I WROTE AN ANGSTY GORILLAZ FIC, OMG. XD Regardless, Murdoc's behavior has always been erratic since the start. It leaps up and down, and no one knows quite where it's going. Finally, it hits an all time low that leaves 2D wandering if he can finally fixate Murdoc into one thing to keep him in one flow. But can he? 2D x Murdoc.
Note: Mudsx2D is more my thing, but... I decided to give a shot on role reversal. XD
Disclaimer: As hard as it is to believe, I don't own Gorillaz. They belong to Gorillaz Partnership, Jamie, Damon and those one guys with the hair. All song lyrics used within this story are copyright their official owners, not I.

Please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes. I do proofread, but they do slip through. *bow*


"But I'm good at being uncomfortable, so
I can't stop changing all the time

I notice that my opponent is always on the go
And
Won't go slow, so's not to focus, and I notice
He'll hitch a ride with any guide, as long as
They go fast from whence he came
But he's no good at being uncomfortable, so
He can't stop staying exactly the same."
~Extraordinary Machine by Fiona Apple


Tonight was the very last concert scheduled for the 2006 European tour. Then, the band Gorillaz would retire back to their homes at Kong Studios and spend much needed time with a little R&R. Tonight they'd close the tour with a bang, they all agreed on during rehearsal, leaving the audience feeling elated and high and wandering what the Hell just happened--but in a good way.

Little did they know, the concert would end with a bang, just not the one they prepared for.

The concert went as planned. The opening sequence, the appearances and introductions, the occasional commentary between songs, fan boys and girls squealing and calling out names and holding up signs of affection. It was all normal, but it never felt normal to some of them, despite how many times this regime may repeat itself.

But, perhaps that's why Murdoc suddenly felt the need to walk off stage halfway through a song.

Noodle and Russel stopped playing their instruments and 2D's voice came to an "aah--eh?" halt. They all turned and watched Murdoc leave his bass on the ground and retreat behind a curtain. The crowd hushed down to low, confused whispers; signs, hands and hollers lowering from the air. This was just as big a surprise to the other band mates as it was their fans.

The three exchanged baffled, worried looks. Without excusing himself or saying at least something to the confused crowd, 2D ran off stage. Noodle quickly scampered to the microphone and said calmly and quietly, "Please excuse us. We are facing technical difficulties. There will be a short intermission."

The crew members of the stage immediately went into action. Swinging curtains closed and lighting up the house. The audience shouted in an uproar of anger, confusion and disappointment. It could be heard echoing in a thudding rhythm in the far reaches of the backstage.

2D turned a corner just in time to see the door to a bathroom slam shut and click to lock. He ran to the door and rapped his knuckles against it. "Murdoc?" he said. "Murdoc, are you in there?"

"What do you think!?"

That was definitely Murdoc. He sounded raspy, though, as if he had been screaming. 2D could hear light coughing from inside the small bathroom. Before he knew it, Noodle [with her guitar in tow] and Russel were at 2D's sides.

"What's going on here!?" Russel demanded. "The crowd is freaking out! It'll turn into a mob soon!"

"I'm not sure," 2D replied, quietly.

Noodle knocked gently on the door. "What is wrong, Murdoc-san?" she asked, sweetly.

Murdoc's reply was coughing.

2D scratched his head, much like a chimp would. "Makes no sense... 'cause, y'know, 'e was all leapin' 'round on stage an' screamin' over the songs an' flashin' his wee at the crowd, like, earlier an' now..." he paused for a moment. "... Maybe he just really needs to use the pisser badly?"

Russel turned red in the face. "This is bullshit!" he growled, nostrils flaring. He paced a little. "This has never happened befor--what the hell are you thinkin', man!?" He then began beating on the door.

"El occupido sen-your fatso!"

Russel felt his body tremble with rage and embarrassment. He took a few steps back, cracked his neck then rolled up a sleeve. "I'm gonna bust that bitch down then bust his ass," he threatened. Before he could run like a rapid rhino at the door, Noodle and 2D jumped in front of him, hands held up.

"No!" they shouted in unison.

The owner of the theatre scuttled over to the three. "What is going on!?" he demanded in a hushed whisper, as if they were out on stage in front of the crowd. He was red in the face from embarrassment and frustration.

"I dunno," 2D retorted quite blandly.

"We've got people threatening to climb onto the stage! And some are starting to riot and throw things!" the owner heaved. He tugged anxiously at his big, polka dotted bow tie. "Worst yet--some people are getting in line to get their money back! I didn't think there'd be a problem and said refunds would be issued if anything did! It appears I was wrong!"

Russel calmed himself down. "Look," he breathed, holding up his large hands. Eloquently, he said, "We really have no idea what's going on. We're just as lost as you, and just as bothered as the audience. We really didn't plan on this happening. We're working on solving the issue at hand and when we do, we'll be right back out there continuing as if nothing ever happened."

"Then what do you suppose I do while I wait?" the owner demanded.

Russel looked at 2D, who looked at Noodle. Noodle was quiet for a moment before clearing her throat. "I have an idea," she said. She picked up her guitar and plucked a few strings. "I can stall audience for a few minutes." She looked at Russel. "I will need your help, and," she switched her glance to 2D, "do you think you can handle Murdoc-san?"

"Well..." 2D thought about this for a moment. If he couldn't coax Murdoc out, he always knew how to piss him off enough to make him barge out of there. "... I'll try."

Noodle nodded sagely. "Russel-san, listen to me well," she said. She placed a hand to Russel's arm and slowly led him to the stage. The two spoke quietly, plotting something.

2D watched them leave before looking back at the owner. The owner snorted and ran off to go throw something. 2D sighed then went back to staring at the door. "Murdoc," he said. He gave the door a tap with his knuckles. "Murdoc, the guy who owns this place is in a reeeeally bad mood an' the crowd is gettin' kinda ansy an'--"

2D stopped talking and widened his eyes when he heard the grotesque sound of vomiting from within.

Noodle pulled her stool up to the mic and proceeded to adjust it to her size. The crowd settled down for a moment, calming, then cheering excitedly. Some were loudly demanding why 2D or Murdoc or both were not on stage. But Noodle paid them no mind. Russel was at his drums. He looked nervously at Noodle. Noodle remained so relaxed under this pressure and the glaring warmth of the limelight.

Noodle strummed her fingers over the strings of her instrument again. "While our singer and our bassist recompose themselves, I would like to sing you all a song that I find dear," she explained. Most of the crowd wailed with excitement, forgetting about the other two. Still there remained unamused, wondering fans, but they were quiet.

Noodle looked back at Russel and nodded. Russel took in a deep breath, rose his drumsticks and nodded. Noodle returned to her guitar and began jamming out an acoustic beat. Russel's drums followed in soon. Then, a moment after the opening, Noodle leaned in to sing into the microphone.

"Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go..."

2D looked utterly worried. He pressed his ear and hands hard to the door. "Murdoc!? Was that you!?" he gasped.

There was silence, then a little cough.

"No..." Murdoc replied grumpily. "... the toilet. Flushes like it's tossin' somethin' up."

"Murdoc," 2D whined. He knocked at the door again. "What's wrong, huh? Y'were all jumpin' 'round earlier; why're sick now, huh? We still got the concert to finish--an' the big finale we agreed on... Noodle's doin' sumfin' with Russel to keep 'em quiet..." he explained.

"I'm too tired to continue," Murdoc grumbled. "We've done enough. We've sung almost the entire damn album. An' these fuckers don't need any 'special endin'. They're jus' like the whole lotta them. Nothin' special 'bout 'em."

"But you were really excited 'bout the whole thing!" 2D stated. "You were even startin' to jump up on the couch an' stuff when Noodle suggested it..."

"I changed my goddamn mind!"

"But, we still gotta go back o--"

"I'm not going!"

2D stood back, hands on his hips, frown on his face. "When I was a lit'le kid, an' I was angry an' I wouldn't do what I was told, my mum would punish me right good, you know!" he informed.

"Wut? Going to send me to bed without dessert?"

2D blinked. "Well, I thought you always had dessert, so I was thinkin' I could try an' horde it for tha' nigh--"

"Forget it, brainache!" Murdoc snarled. He began coughing again. "Mm'not goin' back out there!"

"Why?" 2D inquired. "Are ya sick?"

"No." Murdoc hacked, sounding like he just coughed up his right lung.

"You sure do sound sick..." 2D mumbled. He looked worried again, no longer upset. "Murdoc, are ya sick?"

"Did'n I--*COUGH*--jus' say--*COUGH*--mm'not si--*HACK*--" He threw up again. 2D went to ask him if he was all right before the bassist shouted, "IT IS HOTTER THAN FUCK OUT THERE. YOU THINK I'M GOING TO GO ROAST MY NUTS OFF!?"

"It is a lit'le warm," 2D agreed, "but ya never complained about it before."

It was quiet. Murdoc said nothing. 2D said nothing. There'd be a cough in between the silence. A minute passed. 2D could hear Noodle singing and Russel playing from not too far away.

"Hurry hurry hurry, before I go insane~ I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain~"

2D bit the inside of his mouth. He sighed heavily, then knocked again. "Murdo--" The door flew open, hitting him in the face and knocking him over.

Murdoc staggered out. Wearing only his cape and underwear, he looked drenched with sweat. "Bloody bloody bloody--" he coughed. He rubbed his trembling arm.

2D got up and peeked behind the door, bleeding from a cut on his forehead. "You don't look so well," he mumbled.

"Oh, really!? What made you come to that conclusion!? The fact I've lost pigment in me skin or the fact I can boil a chicken in my knickers!?" Murdoc shouted angrily, tugging at the waist band of his drenched underwear, then letting it slap wetly back to his pot belly.

"You got sick real quick," 2D said. He walked in front of Murdoc and examined him. Murdoc glared at him as his fangs chattered. "I mean, I nevah seen a flu work so fast befo--"

Murdoc grabbed 2D by the collar of his shirt, twisted it and yanked him face to face. "It's not the flu, you nimrod!" he barked in his face. 2D could have fainted by the smell. Murdoc pushed him back and nearly to his ass. Murdoc rubbed down his arms, then cried, "SO NOW YOU TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONER, DO YOU? AND ON ARTIC TEMPERATURES, EVEN!"

"It's not really cold in here."

"Look--look at my sweat! It's turned into ice cubes!"

2D blinked. Murdoc had no idea what he was talking about. 2D knew the feeling. "Uhh..." He tried thinking of something to say. Murdoc had turned to a crew member to yell at them to turn the AC down. "... Maybe it's not a good idea for you to go back on stage."

"You think!?" Murdoc hissed.

"Yeah, I think."

"That's something new, indeed!" Murdoc snorted. He then belched; his eyes widened as he swung a hand to his mouth and ran back into the bathroom. 2D went to open the door before it locked. He sighed as he listened to Murdoc throw up again and blame it on the toilet.

He heard the crowd applauding loudly. A minute later, Noodle came backstage, dabbing sweat from her forehead. "Has he spoken or come out?" she inquired.

Russel appeared behind her, offering her a cold drink. "I'm about two seconds away from kicking down that door."

"He's really sick," 2D sighed. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I think it's really--"

He paused to let the two hear Murdoc expel his stomach contents loudly then curse immediately after, "ASSFUCKING JUDAS!"

"--serious."

Russel slapped a hand to his forehead and massaged it. "... Guess we got no choice but to end the concert now."

"It is important we take Murdoc-san to the hospital. It is top priority right now," Noodle said, nodding.

"Who wants to go out there and tell 'em the news?"

The three looked amongst one another. Then, they each held out a fist and chanted, "Rock, paper, scissors--!"

~~~

Luckily, the fans took it more easier then the three anticipated. They expected an uproar. But 2D, despite how much he blundered in explaining the situation at hand, seemed so adorable and so lost and clueless that the crowd picked up an empathetic bond and immediately understood. 2D physically and vocally showed something was seriously wrong and they had to accept that.

Almost a half an hour later, after much coaxing and eventually a janitor coming down to open the bathroom with his key, Murdoc was rushed to the hospital in a screaming ambulance van. The three stayed with him. 2D wanted to hold his hand, but Murdoc slapped him and told him he wasn't dying.

Murdoc complained the entire time. He acted like his normal self, between the sudden bouts of chills or nausea. He tried getting out of his stretcher on the way there a couple times, forgetting they were in a moving car. Russel always pinned him down with ease.

When they arrived at the hospital, Murdoc was taken into the ER. Although he was only showing signs of the flu, perhaps getting the extra, quick treatment had to do with the fact he was a celebrity and all ready reporters were piling outside. Hospital security kept the bothersome, nosey reporters from coming inside as Noodle, Russel and 2D waited in the lobby impatiently for results.

"Y'think it could be the flu?" Russel asked after ten minutes of silence.

"I don't know," Noodle sighed.

2D bridged his hands. "Well... 'E's Murdoc. 'E'll get through it."

Just a moment later, the doors to the ER flew open. Murdoc marched out, having been fit into a hospital gown. He looked completely enraged. "Who's fault is this!?" he demanded, turning around to show his exposed ass. He turned back around, threw his hands in the air and shouted, "What the Hell is going on!? Have you all gone mad!?"

The three hurried to Murdoc. "Go back in there, idiot!" Russel ordered.

Murdoc sighed and fell against the large drummer. Russel blinked stupidly. "I feel so EMO," Murdoc cried, burying his face in Russel's jacket. Russel looked at his friends. Noodle blinked while 2D slowly tilted his head to the side.

The doctor, two nurses and an orderly dashed through the doors and gently pulled Murdoc away from his Russel. "Sorry about that," the doctor apologized, ashamed. "We were about to take his temperature before he got up and ran out demanding someone to give him a cigarette..."

"Cigarette?" Murdoc peeked. He thrashed in the doctor's arms. "YOU TOOK 'EM, YOU SONSABITCHES!!"

2D reached in his back pocket to get his cigarettes before Noodle stopped him, shaking her head.

The hospital staff dragged a whining, hollering, seething Murdoc back into the ER. "I think he's damn near lost his mind," Russel murmured.

"No, no, I don't think so," 2D disagreed. Not that he actually considered it thoroughly. He was just denying it. "... Maybe he's temporarily forgotten about it."

Russel gave the blue haired singer a look. "... Temporarily forgotten his sanity?"

"It can happen, y'know."

After explaining to 2D just how stupid that idea was, the three went back to their chairs. Ten minutes passed, then twenty, then thirty, then sixty. Russel was pacing. 2D had charmed a nurse into giving a lollipop to suck on while he waited. Noodle remained the calmest, reading a National Geographic magazine, each article, through and through.

Then, out came the doctor with papers in his hand. The three got up to go to him, but he came to them instead. "Well, after some examination and study, we pumped his stomach," the doctor informed. He flipped through the papers.

"I don't think he liked that much..."

"Well, it only gets worse," the doctor sighed. He looked serious as he held out the paper. "Test shows that his stomach contents contained a large dosage of Methylenedioxymethamphetamine... and a toothpick."

2D felt his brain explode. "... Um."

The doctor wasn't surprised. It was a common reaction. "Methylenedioxymethamphetamine... more commonly known as Ecstasy."

~~~

A week had passed since the horrendous concert disaster and Murdoc's visit to the hospital.

Everyone was back in Kong Studios. Doing their normal things.

2D went to Murdoc's winnebago, to check up on him. Murdoc had said he'd been clean, but perhaps that was all a lie. He never told anyone why he had taken those couple of pills he got from the club he was at prior to the whole concert fiasco.

All the three were told was he had approximately taken 150mg of the drug, the side effects of the drug kicked in about twenty or so minutes after swallowing, which was about an hour before rehearsal, which explained why Murdoc had been loopy and silly earlier; the drug's downfall effects had hit two hours after indigestion, which was at the time Murdoc had run off the stage. The drug had caused dramatic changes in body temperature, paranoia and nausea. The doctor was about to explain that it also caused heavy mood swings, irate and violent behavior before the three interrupted him, saying "that was nothing new."

There had been a run in with the Court of Law briefly. It was kept very hush-hush and out of the public eye. Luckily for British law, Murdoc had not been sentenced to anything. Although his winnebago and Kong Studios were searched for any possessions of drugs. It came up clean, which made Murdoc's band wonder if perhaps he was really clean, and just needed a casual high every now and then. They wouldn't mind so much--if he hadn't done it during a concert, causing a huge bustle of the Gorillaz's reputation in the tabloids.

Russel was the most upset about the whole incident. He nearly ate the paper he got one morning that mentioned the blunder at the Gorillaz concert two nights ago. Noodle was more calm, reflecting on this as just something that they'd have to handle and deal with in a mature way. Murdoc was prone to doing irrational things; they'd have to get used to it. Murdoc wouldn't change for anyone, and he didn't seem like he wanted to for himself. So until then, Noodle suggested that they take this in stride, as some sort of lesson to be remembered.

However, while Russel was mad and Noodle was calm, 2D was confused. He knew Murdoc more than the other two. Murdoc was about as readable as a book soaked in water, but 2D had more of grasp on understanding Murdoc than the American man and Japanese girl.

The point of his confusion was--Murdoc hadn't been showing any signs of using drugs, let alone wanting to use them. New CD, new fans, more publicity, more air time, more ego to flaunt. Murdoc was on a natural high with all this fame and fortune. It seemed odd that out of nowhere he felt the need to dive back into drugs after swearing he was clean. Then again, 2D never thought that he might have done it because he could; you don't need to be miserable to get drunk off your ass. And you can be the happiest person in the world and still take drugs.

All 2D thought was Murdoc had taken those drugs because he wasn't as happy as he thought he was.

When 2D reached the winnebago, the door suddenly flew open and out stomped a young girl in her early twenties. She was struggling to button up her blouse, ignoring the fact her skirt had been tailed up high enough to show her thong. She looked angry, and she had been crying, by the mascara running down her face. "Fuck you!" she screamed back at the winnebago.

Murdoc appeared at the door, in his jeans with the fly unzipped. He leaned against the frame and smiled wickedly at the girl. "Sorry, luv. I was never good with covering up my boredom," he chuckled. To add more of a menacing look, Cortez flew over and perched himself on his shoulder.

The girl wiped her face off with the back of her sleeve, smearing the black, runny make-up. "You're such a rude, arrogant bastard!" she cried angrily. "Figured under that ugly mug of yours might be a sensitive guy."

"Obviously thinking isn't your best feature," Murdoc smirked. He pointed at her with a wink. "I can state for a fact it isn't."

The girl glared at him before whirling around and marching out of the car lot. 2D watched her leave; she hadn't even noticed him.

"What're you doin' here, dullard?"

2D blinked and looked back at Murdoc. Murdoc still looked pleased as punch, still leaning against the door frame, still bearing a cawing raven on his shoulder. "I--well, just came to see how you were doin'," the singer replied. He listened to the sound of a car screeching against gravel. He watched as a red Jaguar zipped ferociously out of the parking lot, past the winnebago with a middle finger raised.

Murdoc waved after her. "Practice'll help you!"

2D watched the car disappear. "Who was she?"

Murdoc scratched his head. "... I never asked," he chuckled. He turned and went back into his winnebago. Thoughtlessly, as if forgetting 2D was there, he shut the door behind him. 2D scurried to the door and let himself in; he did, however, remain at the door.

"She seemed really upset."

"Not as upset as I was," Murdoc snorted from his kitchen. Cortez left his shoulder, flew past 2D and into his nest. Murdoc came back into the front of the trailer, guzzling down a cheap bottle of cherry wine. He pulled it from his lips, coughed and grumbled, "Can't fuck worth shit. Woulda gotten off to a magazine more than her."

2D got it. The girl apparently sucked in bed. "Sorry to hear about that," he muttered. He watched Murdoc walk pass him, scratch his lower back and fall back on one of the red sofas.

"Not a problem," he chuckled, "I've got another engagement in an hour. Experienced, this one. Know so--I've fucked her before."

2D just nodded numbly. "So... how have you been doin'?"

"Didn't you just ask me that?"

"You dinnit answer..."

Murdoc sighed. "I'm FINE," he grumbled. He took another swig of his wine. "Wut? Still got that whole E thing on yer lack thereof brain?"

"It's just--"

"Look. Ged over it," Murdoc snapped. He took another drink. "You and that fat ass--both of you get off my case. It wasn't you who had to be towed into a hospital with their stomach pumped wearing a girly nightgown," he said.

"Well, it's just a little surprising," 2D said. "I mean, I know yer not doin' any drugs, an' ya hadn't since then, but jus' outta nowhere--"

"I went to a club. Girl offered me a couple pills. I took 'em. Wanted to get high. And?"

"And..."

"And? You can't even figure out what to say, nor do you have any purpose to this conversation other than to repeat what's been said over and over," Murdoc stated, pointing a clawed finger at him.

2D frowned, sadly. "Well, I..." He was right. What did 2D come here to say? He knew for a fact that he did come here partially to see if Murdoc was doing okay. But part of him knew that Murdoc was just fine. While he had gone through that hospital escapade and had his home torn apart for drugs, that was it. No fine, no punishment. Obviously women kept coming; the spoils never stopped, despite the frustration he had caused a great deal of people, Noodle, Russel and 2D.

But, no... No, in the end, he didn't come here to see how he was doing. He came here to--

"Help me?" Murdoc repeated. He cocked a brow, looking utterly baffled. 2D stared at him. Murdoc laughed heavily before taking another swallow of his wine. He shook the bottle at the singer. "Even if I needed help--you? Help me? You can't even help yourself!"

2D frowned seriously. "You really did take the pills 'cause of some other reason, dinnit you?" he demanded.

Murdoc looked caught. All the amusement in his face disappeared. He then looked furious, slammed his bottle of wine down and got to his feet. He stomped a few feet closer to 2D, who stepped back. "You got me, mate! You got me!" he laughed as he spat. "I took the fuckin' things because I was gettin' bored with all the mundane shit!"

2D looked shocked.

"I'm in a tour bus with you and those other idiots for an entire month and a half. Doing the same thing over and over and over again. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy doing what I'm doing. I started this shit, an' only I will decide when it ends. But I'm a man of change, mate, an' if I can change the normal, boring pattern of jus' one night, I'll do it!" Murdoc laughed, spreading his arms, looking proud and triumphant.

Before 2D could speak, Murdoc leaned in and poked him in the chest, "'Course you wouldn't get none of this! Yer so stupid, so pumped up on those painkillers an' sedatives an' antidepressants, you know nothin' but what's been programed into you! Tryin' to explain change an' spontaneous to someone who only uses half their brain to watch the same goddamn movies over an' over again an' understand somethin' only when it's repeated is like trying to discuss the UK's government to a goddamn dog!"

2D looked offended. He looked seriously hurt. His fists clenched. And he might have cried, but he wasn't going to give Murdoc that satisfaction. Murdoc sized him up, waiting for some reaction. He made a resigned noise and flapped a hand at him, moving back to his couch. "Pointless, an' point proven. But I've saved you another trip here askin' if I'm okay an' askin' why I did what I did," he grunted. He drank more of the wine and watched 2D from the corner of his eye. "If you'd like, I'll gladly repeat myself so you can register it completely. It takes some time for things to soak in, doesn't i--"

Murdoc's head jerked to the side, neck snapping. He felt like his eyes were about to jump from their sockets. He turned his head back. He looked shocked, completely in denial when he touched his cheek and it was sore. If he could, he'd see a nice bruise forming, in the first stage of just bright red with knuckle prints.

2D had an animalistic look of rage on his face, his fist still raised from having struck the bassist. 2D's chest heaved in and out deeply. He then managed to spit on the edge of a choked exhale, "I heard ya the first time."

Murdoc continued to rub his cheek. Then, it all registered. He grit his teeth, his green eye turning red like the other. He drew himself to his feet and advanced towards 2D. He didn't say a word as he decked 2D across the face, sending him flying back into the wall, hitting it with a soft thud. He then grabbed 2D by the shirt and yanked him forward, releasing one hand to curl into a fist and raise up to strike.

2D shoved Murdoc away with a large heave. Murdoc grunted as he stumbled back, before falling to the ground. Before he could get up, 2D fell on him. He pinned Murdoc's hands to the ground, straddling his waist.

"Get offa me, you faggot!" Murdoc snarled. He started writhing like an fish in a net. 2D had to use all his strength and force. Murdoc was always much stronger, but that didn't mean 2D wasn't strong at all.

"Shuddup..." 2D whispered quietly, focusing on keeping Murdoc still. He blocked out Murdoc's cursing, all the obscenities he wailed and the threats he made. And 2D thought about some things he never really thought about before.

2D had made mistakes similar to Murdoc's when it came to women. 2D used to never think of the consequences of sex, and even when more and more positive lab results were mailed to him, and even when more women he had one night stands with came to his door looking infuriated or depressed bearing a large belly, he still continued to live without warning, without regret and without thought, it seemed.

"I swear to God, I'll rip yer goddamn head off an' feed you yer own brains!" Murdoc roared.

2D grunted as Murdoc kneed him in the groin. He shut his eyes tightly and grit his teeth, fighting back the pain as he held onto Murdoc. "Shuddup..." he breathed.

2D figured he'd change from the past. He'd be more careful. He'd make sure he didn't leave anymore children fatherless.

But... there was something about Murdoc going through women like water that bothered 2D. Women were toys to the bassist; they all had pullstrings and plastic smiles and no real emotions. They were goddesses, until he finished with them, and they were tossed out like Lilith was from Eden and the Bible itself. 2D thought, at least, he had been more kind to the women he had been with. And certainly he had been more sensitive to their needs and would never throw one out like he did that woman earlier, especially just because she wasn't a good lay.

Murdoc had called on his companion to help him out. Cortez dove at 2D's head. 2D cried shortly; he acted without thought, letting go of one of Murdoc's arm to shove the bird away. Murdoc propped himself up on his free elbow and sent a fist across 2D's face. 2D jerked to the side, almost falling over and letting Murdoc's other arm go.

But, to Murdoc's surprise, 2D was not slow to retaliate as he was to everything else. Forgetting his own pain and bleeding lip, 2D once again took control of Murdoc's arm and held him down again. Murdoc was in awe more than shock. Cortez continued to claw at 2D's head, leaving behind small, bloody cuts. It hurt like Hell, but all 2D could do was shake his head around.

"Scalp the idiot, he's fuckin' asking for it!" Murdoc yelled at the bird.

"Shuddup..." 2D growled.

Murdoc had everything he had wanted. He had fame. He had fortune. He had a band--his band. He had fans. He had followers. He had websites dedicated to him, he had people calling out his name at concerts. He had groupies, he had a lifestyle he wanted that no one but him could get away with. He was free to do whatever he wanted, because he had everything he wanted.

But, yet, to be so selfish as to nearly ruin the publicity and fan base they had created just because he was bored of doing so many concerts in a row...

To have such an ego that it swallowed up everything it came in contact with...

"Do you WANT ME TO KILL YOU!?"

"SHUT UP!!"

2D finally snapped, and screamed. It caused Cortez to back off and Murdoc to shut up. 2D panted heavily, looking completely distressed and bitter. He didn't want to see Murdoc's face. But he did--he forced his eyes open slowly. He expected a glare, a look of rage, but rather Murdoc just stared at him with no expression at all.

Murdoc knew 2D more than Russel and Noodle. And 2D was also hard to read, especially since most of the time he looked like the living dead. Murdoc, however, could see past the film over 2D left by pills and pain and wounds.

They both knew that. They both realized that. They both had a connection.

But each end was different. One was just from experience and having lived with the guy for so long. And the other was due to idolizing, desire to know more and eager to understand.

One only knew more because of time.

One only knew more because of desire.

And one wanted the other to feel the same.

"I wanna help..." 2D whispered. He felt tears moisten his eyes. But they did not shed. "Maybe I can help...?"

"What the Hell are you talkin' about?"

"Maybe... maybe I can be enough?"

"Enough?" Murdoc grunted. He had stopped squirming.

"Enough," 2D said. He leaned down to breath against Murdoc's neck. "Enough--enough so you don't need to do nothin' else."

Murdoc twitched. "Wut the hell are you on about? Yer soundin' like a rambling idiot, as usual."

Perhaps there was a way to deflate that ego, just a little. Murdoc wouldn't need any women, wouldn't need any drugs, he'd have all he needed by him at all times. With a little self restraint via a relationship that lasted more than a night, perhaps Murdoc would find comfort in just This One Thing.

2D sighed and sat back. He looked so coy, so cute with his red cheeks. "Um," he coughed. "Um... if I, um, put my tongue in your mouth... uh, would you get mad?"

Murdoc blinked. He looked very dull then. "... How subtle of you," he grumbled. He then snapped, "I'm a MAN!"

"I know you are," 2D said. He ground himself against Murdoc's groin. Murdoc twitched again, a streak of pleasure appearing for a glitch of a second on his face. "... That's proof, right?"

"You--yer..."

2D leaned in to brush his lips a mere half an inch from Murdoc's, not yet trusting getting any closer. Murdoc could feel 2D's hot breath on his lips, and likewise. Murdoc would have reached forward and bit his face, but didn't. He just laid there, restrained, letting 2D swallow the air he exhaled, and inhaling the air 2D exhaled.

"Don't think you'll need drugs, huh? If I can be it, even only for a lit'le while..." 2D whispered, the words lingering on the other's bronze lips.

"You... wut're you thinkin'?"

"... Not much, actually."

2D's eyes slowly shut as he finally pressed his lips to Murdoc's. For a moment, the kiss seemed nothing more than just a pair lips against one another. But when Murdoc's mouth opened for air, 2D very cautiously slipped his tongue inside. Murdoc bit down, but not hard. However, the man had fangs and it did prick the tender skin. 2D jolted just slightly, but he further pushed his tongue inward, painting the insides of the bassist's mouth with red droplets.

The taste was almost aphrodisiac for Murdoc. It was bitter, it was like copper and metal, but it was a piece of a person, inside of him. He brushed his tongue along 2D's, in return he get to bite him on the lips, drawing more blood. 2D moaned in pain, but did not move away, even as blood trickled down his chin to hit in tiny dots on Murdoc's chest.

It seemed Murdoc forgot the fact he was kissing a man. It certainly looked that way by his relaxed expression and his closed eyes. 2D moved his mouth across Murdoc's cheek, trailing behind a little blood from his lips. He nipped at Murdoc's ear, just like a little kitten looking for a nipple to wean on. Murdoc growled deep in his throat; it was actually just a really deep purr.

2D's face dropped into Murdoc's shoulder, in the tender spot between neck and shoulder. He suckled on the skin, sucking harder and harder until it became taunt and red. He was marking what was his--what he wanted to be his. Murdoc turned his head against 2D, smelling his hair--some sort of scent; pleasant, fruity, but Murdoc didn't care to identify it at this given point in time.

2D's mouth and blood dragged along shoulder, leaving behind a growing, ruby red hickey. He dropped his head against Murdoc's, nuzzling against him gently. Murdoc turned his head again, getting a good bite into the skin of 2D's tender, lengthy neck. 2D gasped out in pain, but held still. Murdoc's teeth dug in deep; he swore next his jugular vein would pop. When Murdoc sucked, he brought his teeth along; and although they never went far, they still ripped into his skin which each stroke back and forth. It felt familiar; like the thousands of pricks of a tattoo in creation, but more fierce; it caused his skin to tingle, feeling pinched with anxiety, like a needle in too long.

He could feel thick blood on his skin. And Murdoc let it fill his mouth. He pulled his lips back, his teeth out, lapping the blood up like a dog in heat would the pheromones of a female. Left behind was a ring of streaking blood, eight apparent teeth-shaped wounds and the formation of little bruises. 2D lifted his head, stretching it back as he felt blood pool down at his shoulder and through his skin. He then took another bite at Murdoc's ear; harder this time, just harder enough to wound and surface tiny blotches of blood. Murdoc's reaction was pleasant; a little, happy jerk in his body.

2D unclenched his teeth from the ear, licked [as if to clean it] with his tongue, then rose his head again. His deep, punctured black eyes met lulled red and green. He thought he saw satisfaction there. Something that seemed never to last with this man, who could never get enough of anything.

2D breathed against Murdoc's collarbone, warming it up with moist air. His mouth ran along the middle of his chest, sweeping it with a lick or two. Murdoc continued to purr, legs rustling a little. 2D's mouth was now at Murdoc's little bulging belly; he puckered his lips and blew air against it. It caused Murdoc to shiver, and trembles to run along his spine. It made 2D smile, giving his little belly button a quick lick before planting soft butterfly kisses along it. The way his stomach quivered beneath his lips causing his own stomach to form butterflies.

2D lifted himself to return to Murdoc's face. He used his nose to gently nudge Murdoc's head back, who did as he was "told." 2D placed the tip of his tongue to the tip of his chin, ran it along the chin and against Murdoc's lips. He then kissed him again, deeply, getting to taste his own blood in Murdoc's saliva. 2D drew back his mouth, but Murdoc's teeth nipped at his bottom lip, biting gently. 2D groaned, before he was let go. The tender skin on the inner part of his lip ripped. His tongue rubbed against it, tasting dead skin he chewed off, then that bitter red liquid.

2D leaned back, arching his shoulders, like a large cat stretching after a long nap. Murdoc watched him with dazed, half lidded eyes, forgetting 2D's hands wrapped tightly around his wrists. 2D took one of Murdoc's nipples in his mouth, kneading it with his teeth, rolling it around his tongue. Murdoc moaned, his body stretching inward, then scrunching up like a ball as much as he could given the weight on him. One of Murdoc's eyes shut tightly, the other still squinted.

2D took one of the nipples between his teeth and pulled it up with his mouth, causing a grunt from the one beneath him. He let go, tasting the skin of another. He ran his tongue along his lips; old blood was washed away as new began to bubble. His own groin grinded against Murdoc's, rocking to and fro. Both of them groaned as they became hard. 2D winced; his shirt over his shoulder felt sticky. He gazed at it, seeing blood from the deep wound in his neck had drenched itself in the fibers of the shirt. He wished he could take it off, but...

... Could he risk letting Murdoc go? Murdoc was a tricky devil. He could just being playing along, pretending he was enjoying all this. But the moment he was free, he could pounce on the singer and strangle him.

2D decided to take a dare.

He let go of Murdoc and quickly yanked his shirt off his head. When the shirt was pulled over his eyes, Murdoc had sat up from beneath him, and was face to face with him. 2D tensed; he knew it. Murdoc was going to definitely kill him.

"Finish what you've started, dullard."

The purr, the tone of voice and that wicked bloody smile. 2D grinned just as bloody in return. He sunk down, pulling Murdoc's pants down his thighs. Commando again; it was rare to see him wearing both underwear and pants. Always seemed to be one or the other. Regardless, it was perfect for this moment.

2D hissed in pain when one of Murdoc's hands dug its long nails in his back, and the other in his head. To one merely watching, it looked like a tender embrace, but indeed it was more than that. The nails were digging in deep. The claws in 2D's scalp brushed along the shallow markings the raven made, causing his head to scream.

Regardless, 2D tended to his duty without fail.

He gently grasped Murdoc's aroused cock in his hand, eyeing the member. It seemed so foreign when on another man. 2D then took the plunge. His tongue licked the tip of the head, pleasuring it sweetly. Murdoc made a series of grunts as he curled into 2D. His claws dug deeper into him. 2D hurt so bad, but he didn't stop. He continued to pleasure the head, even as little trails of blood ran down his forehead and his back.

2D claimed the erection in his mouth. Murdoc's grasps tightened. 2D sucked hard, deeply, moving to and fro, much like any other type of sex; strokes of moving in and out. He felt the ribbing of the cock along his teeth and tongue, moving in as far as he could. Heaven knows this was the first time he had done this; the thought of deep throating seemed impossible and out of the question.

Murdoc felt his groin tighten. His claws ran slowly along 2D's back, leaving behind deep, bright red streaks. 2D jolted back, coughing on the member in his mouth. "Don't stop!" Murdoc growled, attaching his claws into the skin again. 2D released another muffled cough, before taking the whole thing back in his mouth. His shaky hand moved forward, squeezing onto the scrotum, digging in his own nails. Murdoc cried a little and clutched 2D, dropping his head.

2D continued to grope his balls, squeezing tight, then lightly. Much like little stress balls, except not to the breaking point. He was almost kneading them. 2D then felt Murdoc dig his claws in so deep, feel his body go so tense and hear such a pained growl, he knew what was happening next. Yet, he didn't pull back his mouth, he continued sucking, even up to that point...

2D drew back his agape mouth, seed both inside his mouth and dripping from his bloody lips. He swallowed the portion in his mouth, relaxing when Murdoc began to ease and loosen his grip on him. 2D clenched the member again, cleaning the rest of the semen from it. It tasted salty, like salt water. It gave his stomach a weird churn that made him feel a bit queasy, but nothing more and it was quick to pass.

2D sat up, flinching at the fact it was nearly hard to do so with his clawed up back. He looked at Murdoc's face. It was relaxed, but tired; blood was smudged in the corner of his mouth, colored like the wine he had been drinking. 2D's forehead look like it had been wearing a thorny crown; his lips had four cuts, each still bleeding. He looked a mess, but he looked like a gorgeous mess. Beautiful garbage.

Murdoc gently cupped the back of 2D's neck and pulled him into a kiss. A nice, gentle kiss. So sweet, so tender; no biting, no blood. 2D felt suddenly so secure, so safe and so warm. It was like he had just been wrapped up in a nice, big blanket. Murdoc's touch felt heavenly given the Satanist's ways.

Murdoc's mouth drifted from his an inch apart, like earlier. And it was quiet for a mere second, before the bassist said: "Get out."

2D opened his eyes slowly. He wasn't quite sure he heard Murdoc right. Murdoc squeezed a fistful of 2D's hair and pulled. 2D released a sharp cry. "Get. Out," Murdoc growled, shoving himself away from 2D. The singer sat back with a thud as Murdoc limped to his feet.

"Mur--Murdoc?" 2D muttered, looking pitifully up at his band mate.

"I told you you have to repeat yourself for something to sink in your head," Murdoc smirked. He then frowned bitterly. "Get out."

"But, I--"

"GET OUT!"

2D jumped when Murdoc threw his bloody shirt at his face. 2D pulled it away, watching in horror as Murdoc cleaned himself up a little before yanking his pants up to his thighs and zipping up his fly. 2D just stared at him, confused and lost. Murdoc picked up his wine bottle, took a swig and glanced back at 2D. "Yer still here? I said it four times. Don't make me say it again," he growled lowly.

2D blinked, before dropping his head. Quietly, he stood. He slipped on his shirt, then rubbed the blood from his face, smearing it a little. Murdoc laughed at the pitiful sight, before there came a knocking at the winnebago door. "Enter!" he cackled, knowing exactly who it was.

The door opened, and in stepped a gorgeous woman, half of her made of plastic and silicon. 2D immediately recognized her; she was a famous porn star. Murdoc had met her in France early 2005; they hit it off well, became good friends... with benefits, you could say. Murdoc seemed to have an extra special liking for her dark, gothic theme when she wasn't doing her adult films.

The woman looked at 2D, then Murdoc. "Am I interrupting something?" she smiled.

"Not at all," Murdoc replied. He walked past 2D as if he weren't there. He swept an arm around the porn star's waist and pulled her towards the kitchen, to the bedroom. She giggled excitedly. Murdoc glanced back at 2D, giving him one last warning sign to beat it. Soon, the two were gone around the corner, and 2D could hear them all ready undressing and completely neglecting any type of foreplay.

2D felt his eyes grow wet again. His shirt stuck to his back, leaving behind bloody claw markings. 2D dragged himself out of the trailer, listening to the moaning from the other room. He shut the door loudly behind him. He could hear the moaning still. He grit his teeth and shoved his hands to his ears, trying to block out that godawful noise as he marched away.

He stopped about twelve feet away, dropped his hands and looked back. He couldn't hear the moaning anymore. He did notice that the winnebago was shaking a little. It was a comical sight, usually, to see it rock like that. But at this time, nothing was funny.

Nothing was funny at all.

---

"Delusional
I believe I can cure it all for you, dear
Coax or trick or drive or
drag the demons from you
Make it right for you sleeping beauty
Truly thought
I can magically heal you

Drunk on ego
Truly thought I could make it right
If I kissed you one more time to
Help you face the nightmare
But you're far too poisoned for me
Such a fool to think that I can wake you from your slumber
That I could actually heal you..."

~Sleeping Beauty by A Perfect Circle

---

THE END

After Notes:
What was Noodle singing?: "I Wanna Be Sedated" by The Ramones. I remember reading how she respected them, and so I figured it would be the best song to use. Especially given this story. XD
E: EEEEE! */inside joke* For more information on the drug, you can read about it here: http://www.nida.nih.gov/Infofacts/ecstasy.html. From what I read, toxic levels of E reach 200mg.
Wait. Wut? No charge?: http://ecstasy.org/qanda/q16

Remember! We send flames to CrowTChick@aol.com, children. ^.^