To Relieve My Rainy Day Blues

Title: To Relieve My Rainy Day Blues
Author: sykem
Theme: 36. Rain
Rating: PG
Pairing: Teruki x Bou
Disclaimer: I don’t own this lovely pair. I only own the words I write.
Comments: Okay, someone wanted to know why I always wrote fluff so I’m switching it up and attempting angst. I hope it worked. Let me know what you think okays!

Originally written for the 50Stories community on LJ

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Sitting at my window starring blankly out into the rain was how I chose to spend my weekend afternoon. Never mind that it seemed like a stupid and depressing thing to do, but it relaxed me. It made me think. I need to think through some things before I did end up doing something stupid.

I honestly don’t know when it all started. I don’t know when I started feeling this way about you. I couldn’t help it though. You are so full of life and smiles and I’m just me. Plain, simple, boring me. You make me feel at ease. You make me feel like my life could mean so much more then it does.

I could never tell you that though. I don’t want to destroy your innocence with my perversion. I do realize it is wrong for me to have these feelings for you. I should not feel this way about you, another man.

The rain starts falling a little bit harder now and a tear slowly makes it’s way down my cheek. I watch the rain wash away the filth from the buildings that surround the one I live in. If only it could wash this filth away from me. Why has it come to this? Why am I suddenly so afraid of myself?

That’s when I see it, and my heart starts pounding just a little bit faster. There is a little pink umbrella coming down the road. I instantly recognize it as yours and I am not sure what to do. I’m afraid of being alone with you. I’m afraid I’ll do something to end our friendship. I don’t want to hurt you, my dear, beautiful Bou.

I see your umbrella moving closer and closer to my building. I can see your boots pop out from below it as you take large strides in hopes of reaching a warm haven sooner. I’m panicking because it seems to be working. You seem all to close for me to just be sitting here starring at you through my window.

I stand and wipe the moisture from my face before quickly tiding up my apartment so that it will be somewhat presentable for you. I’ve been such a slob recently. I quickly grab all the clothes that are spread across my floor and shove them into my closet. I slam the door shut and dash into my living room to tidy it up a bit.

There are dirty dishes all over the place and I quickly scoop up what I can and run into my kitchen and have just enough time to finish loading my dishwasher before I hear the soft knock on my door. My heart is pounding so fast. I decide to stay quiet for a minute to see if you go away.

I hear another soft knock a few seconds later accompanied by a soft and an almost unheard “Teruki? Are you there?”

I know I can’t hide from you. I care for you too much to make you feel bad. I walk towards my door and slowly open it.

Your smile is almost blinding. You look so happy and it makes me wonder what is up. I just stare at you for a second before I realize I am being rude and that I really should greet you.

“Ah! Hello Bou, what brings you here?” I ask politely trying so hard not to just give into the horrible desires that are flaring up inside of me.

“I was out and about and thought I would stop by to see how you were doing. May I come in?” You ask me, smiling that radiant smile of yours.

I am almost afraid to let you in, but I step aside anyways and allow you passage into my small, but comfortable apartment. You bend down and untie your boots before gently removing them and leaving them by the door and walk into the living area of my apartment. I close my door gently and follow you inside.

I like your choice of clothes for today, even though it is a bit cold to be wearing it. You have on an adorable blue denim skirt with a frilly pink shirt. You have your hair done up in pigtails with two ball like hair ties. You look like such an adorable little girl, though you are still unmistakably male. That is what seems to be making the situation worse.

You plop down on my couch and bounce on it a few times giggling. You seem so at ease. You don’t seem to have a care in the world. To think that I want to take away that innocence, that child like naivety. Why do I have feelings like this? I don’t want to destroy you Bou, I really don’t.

You turn your smile back to me.

“Teruki, why are you just standing there, come sit and visit with me” You brightly call and pat the spot on the couch next to yourself.

“I’m alright standing,” I answer, not trusting myself to be close to you.

“Nonsense, get over here and sit with me, or I’ll force you to.” You laugh out and I can’t deny it.

I join you on the couch and look away from you. I do not trust myself with you. I don’t want to destroy you and I know that eventually I will. I can feel you tugging on the back of my shirt trying to get me to look at you so I turn and almost regret it.

I briefly wonder why you’re sitting so close to me. I did not expect to turn to you have your whole face taking up my entire field of vision. You still have that adorable smile on your face.

I honestly don’t know what I’m doing until it is way to late. All I know is all the sudden I have you pinned beneath me on the couch. Your looking up at me confused. No I haven’t done anything to you yet, but I’m tempted. What confuses me is that you haven’t pushed me off of you yet.

“Teruki?” you ask uncertainly.

I just keep looking at you, lost for words. I don’t know how to explain myself. There is no way to explain it. I only do what I’ve wanted to do for so long.

I lean down and gently kiss your lips before pulling back and watching your face for your reaction. I was not expecting the large smile and you pulling me back down for another.

It scares me and I sit up, letting you out from under me. I’m scared. You weren’t supposed to like it. You were supposed to be innocent and you were supposed to be disgusted by what I just did, but you aren’t.

You sit up and rest your head on my shoulder. You look up at my face and smile. I think you knew this whole time that I had feelings for you. That scares me because it means that you were able to fool me. I don’t like not being in control of this situation.

I gently push your head off of my shoulder and return to my spot at the window to watch the rain again. I need to think. I need to escape you. You are completely destroying my world. Funny, and I thought I was going to be the one to destroy yours.

The tears return full force and if I were outside they would blend with the rain. Seems that I have brought the rain inside.

I feel your gentle hand rest on my shoulder and I flinch.

“Teruki?” you sound so worried.

You bend down next to me and wipe the tears from my face.

“Why are you crying? Was it something I did? Teruki please tell me what’s wrong” you call out to me.

I smile at you and pull you close and hug you.

“You were you, that’s what you did. You have no idea what you do to me” I answer you.

“Teruki, I don’t understand. Do you not like me? I always thought that you did. You know, with the ways you always looked at me and stuff. Then you kissed me and I wasn’t sure what to do.” You explain to me. You have started crying as well.

I don’t want you to cry so I hug you tighter.

“I meant it as nothing bad Bou. I do like you. I like you a lot. I like you more then I really should.” I whisper into your small ear.

You return my embrace and you start crying harder. I don’t understand I thought it would make you happy to know that I don’t hate you.

“Bou, why are you still crying, I told you I don’t hate you,” I question.

“I’m crying because I’m happy you idiot” you sob out before kissing me again.

I smile into the kiss. Who would have thought it would have turned out like this.


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AHH!!! Okay, my attempt at some angst…don’t shoot me…