Spotty

He was not ashamed of it, really, and it had certainly never stunted his career, but he was always rather annoyed to find that it inevitably worked its way into so many conversations at one point or another.

As a teenager, he'd felt very self-conscious of it. It looked like a bullseye, and as sixteen-year-olds were regularly quite spotty, the addition was rather unwelcome. His classmates weren't entirely nonjudgmental about it, either, but as social disabilities went, weird blemishes fell quite below the rung of 'freak fodder', when taking things like speech impediments, bad hair, and intense body odor into account. Fortunately, Ewan had none of these things, and thus, he and his mole made it through adolescence only mildly scathed.

Growing as an actor over the years, he'd found ways to compensate, with strategically utilized make-up, and by using his considerable talent. (He also was a rather gifted performer.) Showing off his penis quickly became his trademark move, and while Ewan both enjoyed the act because it was empowering and because he felt he had a rather nice penis, he also felt more assured that fewer people would be ogling his mole if they were fixated on his Scottish jewels.

And yet, for all of his rationalizing and overcompensating, he'd always felt particularly cheated when his mole made its presence known during rather ... intimate moments with his co-stars. It almost felt like walking in on somebody besides him having sex with his girlfriend, which was altogether a very unsettling experience. (It never helped that his mole always feigned innocence, either.)

And while acting was not reality, and even though his having a girlfriend in the first place spoke volumes about how little The Mole truly mattered when it came down to it, Ewan could still recall with painful clarity the times when it had burst onto the scene during his acting stints. The memories would haunt him forever.

*


Sorry, my bad," Jonathan Rhys-Meyers said, spooned against him on the set of 'Velvet Goldmine'. "It's just ... I think there's something eating your head, mate."

*


"Mmm, poetry! Oh, I loooove poe- oh, my goodness! I'm sorry, cut, please," Nicole Kidman laughed sheepishly on the closed bedroom set of 'Moulin Rouge'. "I'm so sorry, Ewan," she insisted. "I was staring into your third eye and got distracted."

*


"Ahahaha, what is that thing, anyways?" Hayden Christensen asked, lying alongside him in the Padme's bedroom set, well after filming hours.

"It's a mole, Hayden," Ewan told him with a sigh.

Hayden looked transfixed. "It's big", he blurted. Hayden, like his "Star Wars" character, was not known for his tact. "Does it bite?"

"It's not alive," Ewan said, exasperated. "No, stop that," he glared, slapping Hayden's hand away when he reached out tentatively to poke at it. "Look, let's just get back to the scene: you're Padme, and it's our wedding night. I'm about to show off all the functions on my new robotic hand."

"Why can't I be Anakin this time?" Hayden pouted, but obediently rolled over.