Kiss Me Deadly

Title: Kiss Me Deadly
Author: Orilon
Rating: NC-17 for disturbing themes of killing and mentions of character death
Characters: Alex Shelley, Austin Aries, Kevin Nash
Disclaimer: Everything from TNA belongs to the Jarrett family and Panda Energy. Everything from Ring of Honor belongs to Gabe Sapolsky and Cary Silkin and the wrestlers own themselves. Title comes from "Kiss Me Deadly" by Generation X.
Distribution: If you want it, take it and let me know where.
WARNING: Mentions of, but not actual, killing and character death
Summary: Alex Shelley is fighting his urges.
Feedback: Please.

I hadn’t expected these old feelings to come up again, and I’m fighting not to give in to them. I don’t want to screw up now. Yeah I’m not always happy with my storylines in TNA, but I also don’t want to end up in prison. If I give in to these urges, I very well could.

When we were in Generation Next, Austin used to help me deal with them in such a way that I didn’t get caught, but I doubt that he will help me now, given the way our friendship soured and went downhill after Final Battle 2004.

Every time I’m around Nash, the feelings come up again, and I violently push them down so that I can stay in character and not give away what I’m thinking. Or so I thought. Somehow Austin figured out, as he always did, what I was thinking because he pulled me aside after the latest taping.

“Alex, who is it this time?”

“Why do you care, its not like you’re going to help me.”

I don’t trust him not to blab it to Nash or TNA management, the trust part of our relationship was broken a long time ago.

“Its Nash, isn’t it?”

His voice breaks me out of my thoughts.

“How did you guess?”

“Your eyes. At times I can see you look at him like you used to look at your other victims or people you wanted to be your victims.”

“Shit. Does he know?”

“I don’t think so; he doesn’t know you like I do. I don’t think management does either.”

“I think you’re right since I’m not rotting in prison.”

“How far has it gotten?”

I’m surprised at the question. He used to ask that, and my answer would let him know if could help me find a suitable victim outside of the company to make sure that no one would catch wind of my killing urges. If the images hadn’t reached the specific person face stage, a general anonymous victim would do until the next urge. However, I was in a little more trouble this time.

“Seeing his face as I tie and gag him, my knife going from stomach to chest leaving bloody lines, enjoying the feel of his blood on my skin. It’s too specific this time.”

“Fuck.”

“That sums it up nicely.”

Finding bloody body parts in the middle of the ring would be satisfying but also a dead give away.

I don’t know what I’m going to do this time to satisfy the urges and not get caught.