Monologue

Monologue.

“I don’t trust you anymore.”

Listen. The silence that had grown between them had become deafening now. It was the kind of silence that made you want to scream until your voice cracked and died.

“It’s not like I can help it.”

They used to be okay. More than okay. They had been fucking great. Nothing less. Great.

“You changed.”

It was all true. A kind of blurred realistic. Strange. Just like them. Nothing could or would ever even come close to what they had been like.

“You changed me.”

For better, for worse. Who knew? No one did. It could not be explained or wrought to make sense to anyone else. Because they, the two of them – together, had not ever been sensible. They were very different, and had a very – eccentric – friendship. Yet they made sense to each other.

“Don’t look at me like that…”

But one was so complicated, too diffuse for the other. The other needed clear, clean-cut explanations, plans, to believe. Like a scientist.

“How the hell do you want me to look at you, then?”

Icy blue eyes, they – at least - did not lie. They were not able to lie. Whenever he himself did, they always betrayed him.

“Like you didn’t just tell me what you did.”

And there was another thing that could not be reasoned. To begin with he had not known how to, but now he just did not know why.

“Well, I’m sorry.”

So, he figured he would just give it all up. Now the cat was out of the bag, and he had seen the consequences of it, there was no reason to linger in what had been.

“So am I. I just don’t need this in my life as well.”

In the same way there had been no reason, he had been given one. But not to stay.

“I think I’ll go away.”

And he went.


Epilogue.

Another red sun rising. But it was cold.

“Nothing has a reason.”

And then a gunshot.