Drowning In Misery

Drowning In Misery

Chapter One

Mikey's POV

Every day has been like this since Gerard left. Quiet, awkward mornings, boring, pointless afternoons, and long, lonely nights. I miss him so badly. I love him more than he ever would have known. I don't know where he is right now. But I sure wish he'd come back..I miss him a lot.

It's been 3 weeks since he left. Three long, boring, lonely weeks. The cops stopped searching for him last Teusday. Frank, Ray, and Bob have all given up hope. Everyone thinks he's gone for good. I don't think that though. I know Gerard will come back. He's got to. He wouldn't just leave me here like this.

Or would he? I don't even know anymore.

Currently I'm lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling. It's 1:05 AM, and everyone but me is asleep. I can't sleep. I even had to throw my pillow in the floor because it was drenched with tears, and I couldn't rest my head on it without getting my face wet. There's no way I'll get to sleep tonight. Tomorrow will just have to be another one of those days where I walk around all day with dark circles under my eyes.

I'm tired of living like this. I'm tired of sitting around moping all day and crying all night. I haven't smiled in 3 weeks. I've got nothing left to live for now that Gerard is gone. I need him to come back! He's like the air I breathe. I don't care if you think that sounds funny or not, it's true.

If Gerard doesn't come back home soon, I don't know what I'll do.

He just up and left one night! He didn't even leave a note. I fell asleep next to him, in his arms, and the next morning, he was gone. I woke up, no Gerard. I searched the room, no Gerard. I searched the house, no Gerard.

So I had figured he'd just gone out somewhere or something and forgot to leave a note..he'd done it before. I decided to wait a while. I waited uintil 3 o' clock that day, and hadn't heard from him. So I called his cell phone. I heard his cell phone ring...from his room.

That's when I knew that Gerard had left. I freaked out and called the cops. They said that they couldn't do anything until a person had been missing for 24 hours. They also said that Gerard probably just wanted to stir up publicity. I wanted to smack the mother fuckers right then and there. But I didn't. The cops left and all I could do was wait.

Twenty four hours went by and the cops returned, asking if Gerard had come home. I told them "no" and they said they'd send a search party out for him. When Frank, Ray, and Bob had heard the news, Bob said the same thing the cops did - "He probably just wanted to stir up publicity."

I did smack Bob for that. And the other guys laughed. He deserved it.

Anyway, they searched for a week and a half. They put up posters and flyers and sent out missing person broadcasts. Not a reply had been made to any of them. After two weeks went by, they gave up, and said it was a lost cause, and that he was probably gone for good. We all knew by then it wasn't for publicity. Gerard's not that kind of guy.

By now, the fans are going crazy, sobbing over where Gerard went. But us, the band, are suffering far more. But - I believe I am suffering worse than all of them put together.

Can you imagine being in my shoes right now? My brother has gone missing and I don't know where he is, or if he's even alive anymore. What if some maniac got a hold of him and cut him to pieces, or ripped out his throat or something?! If he's dead, I swear to God I'll kill myself. He means more to me than anything and anyone in the world. I love him....more than just as a brother.

It's now 1:15..I need to get some sleep, even if it's only an hours worth. I need rest. But how can I rest if my baby is somewhere out there, alone, cold, and.....possibly dead?? I can't even think straight right now.

I sigh and sling my legs to the floor, standing up and stretching. I force myself out of the bedroom, down the hallway, and into the kitchen of the tourbus. The moon is high in the sky, casting a dim light across the Jersey streets. I stare up at that moon, wondering if Gerard is staring at it too.

I shake my head, and turn to the fridge, opening the door and grabbing a bottle of Coke Zero. Then I shut the door and sit down at the small round table, staring up at that big full moon again.

"Mikey?" I hear a groggy, tired voice, and I look over toward where it came from. It's just Ray. I guess I woke him up somehow. "What are you doing awake?"

"Can't sleep.." I say, returning my gaze to the moon.

Ray sits next to me and rubs his eyes, "You're worrying yourself over Gee again, aren't you?"

"How can I not worry about him? He's out there somewhere..." I mutter, tears filling my eyes. I can never talk about my missing brother without tearing up.

"Mikey..I know he was your brother and you miss him a lot..but you have to understand--"

"He's more than a brother! And 'was'?! What do you mean 'was'?! You're talking like he's dead or something!" I yell, glaring at the frizzy haired man sitting beside me.

"Shh Mikey, you don't wanna wake everyone else up.." Ray whispers. "I'm saying 'was' because...he probably....never mind." He sighs aimlessly and looks into my eyes. "What do you mean 'more than a brother'?"

I shake my head, "Nothing. It's not important."

Ray tips back in his chair and yawns. "Well..I'm gonna get some more sleep. I suggest you do the same." He stretches his arms back, and all I hear is a loud thump. I turn my head and see Ray lying in the floor on his back.

"Good job." I mutter, standing up.

"That never happened." Ray says. I shake my head and sigh, walking back to my room and shutting the door. I lay down in my bed and close my eyes.

"I'm saying 'was' because...he probably....never mind."

He's not dead....he's not dead....he can't be dead....can he?


A/N: Could Gerard be dead?? Mikey thinks not. Why don't you tell me what you think? ~_0 Review?