The Hardest Part Of This

Posted this oneshot on another page, a while ago.
Thought I'd add it here aswell.
No sex, just angst and stuff.
Uh it's about Gerard Way.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. All you'll get is a mess in a box.

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"DON'T LET GO! PLEASE!"...

What a day it had been. It started so perfect, just like the last six months. Perfect... Just like him. And Just like our relationship. When I first met him I thought that there was no way he would ever notice me. I mean after all we are talking about Gerard Way... The Gerard Way. The "oh-so-hot" singer of My Chemical Romance...

I just stood there, in the corner, hoping he would notice me. I've always been shy, and I've always hated it. But he didn't, he found it charming. The first time he said that I thought he was lying. I mean, who finds it charming to be shy? But he did.

Anyway. As I was standing there in the corner, of a party where I didn't fit in, he noticed me. He said later that I "stood out, eventhough I was being quiet and not looking at anyone." Maybe that's what made me stick out. The fact that I had no one to talk to, because I was missplaced.

I was just there because my sister had begged me to come. She had won this competition. "Party with the bands" it was called... or something like it. I don't know, I don't care. I wasn't much of a band person, the only bands I liked where My Chemical Romance and The Used. But yeah she dragged me along, said she didn't want to go if I didn't come. What was I suppose to do? She is my sister after all.

When I saw him walking over to me I panicked, my mouth went dry and I started fiddeling with my long black hair. I always do that... fiddle with my hair when I'm nervous. GOD that's so annoying... He walked through the crowd, the crowd of famous people... the crowd of people who fitted in. When he reached me he just started with a simple "Hi" that I replied to. Our conversation was slow at first, mostly because I was so nervous but then we started talking about my passion. Photography. I love cameras! My sister use to say that I must have been born with a camera in my hand, I love cameras that much. It's just the feeling you know, of seeing the world though a lens.

That's how it all started. The beginning of the end. He fell for me, head over heels, that night. I don't know how it happened, how could that happen? Anyway, it did. He asked for my phone number when it got to late for me to stay. And I gave it to him, I mean after all, who would turn Gerard Way down? He was a gentleman, he didn't try to "get into my pants" or anything... just a peck on my cheeck when it was time for me to leave. Oh he charmed me right away. When he called the day after I was thrilled. He wanted us to go out for lunch, I said yes. Then it continued like that. Sometimes we went to dinner, sometimes we went to the movies and sometimes we just stayed in watching movies.

After a few months we were a couple officially. My sister loved it, because it meant she had a foot in the "famous world" as she put it. God if I had only known. But I didn't, not then.

Me and Gerard had something special, we really did. He would hold me when I cried, "Little Amiee, don't cry" he used to whisper in my ear. And when I couldn't sleep he used to sing to me. Sometimes his bands songs, but mostly my favorite song. I miss you by Blink 182. God that used to make me melt. His voice, and his warm breath on my neck. It was adorable.

We shared everything, our memories, our past and our future. Then after another few months we shared an appartment. I had been a little sceptic about us living together atfirst, but he convinced me it would be great. And it was, it really was.

Then came the day when he found out he had to go on tour. I hated it, the fact that he wouldn't be the last person I saw every night, or the person that blew my ear in the morning just to tease me. But what could I do? Nothing, nothing at all. I told him I was fine with it, because he would be off doing what he wanted to do, and I didn't want to stop him. He loved me even more for that, for understanding. And I did. And I loved him for promising to call me every day. Wich he did, at first.

Then his schedule became to hectic and he just called me once a week, God I hated that too. I know it wasn't his fault, and I accepted that but still... Then came that night. That night. My sister called me, and said she was going to go to one of their shows. I wanted to go with, but I had promised my friend I would babysit her daughter. Kelly promised she'd say hi from me, and to hug Gerard from me aswell. I laughed in the phone and told her to do that. I was so stupid.

The next morning I woke up early, because someone called me. It was Frankie. He said I had to come talk to Gerard, that it was important, and then he just hung up. I stared at the phone, and thought a million thoughts. What was I supposed to do? The only thing I could think of doing was to drive to New York to see him. And I did.

I arrived to their hotel around noon. I was nervous. Why had Frankie called me? Why couldn't Gerard have called me himself? I found it weird and disturbing. But I didn't want to be paranoid. I came to his door, room 236, and knocked hard three times. Gerard opened the door, and right away I could see that he had been crying. My first impulse was to throw myself around his neck, but I changed my mind when I saw the guilt in his eyes. And then I saw the panties. The womans panties, in my boyfriends hotel room. The black panties with yellow pinguins, just like the ones my sister has... that she got from me at christmas.

I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but what could I do? "Why are they here?" I asked, trying not to let him see how upset I was. I failed that terrible. He started crying again and as he sobbed he sank down to his knees and grabbed my waist. "I was so drunk, God I didn't want too! She wouldn't take no for an answer, please Aimee forgive me please!" All I could do was to stare at him. What the fuck was he saying? He fucked my sister but he didn't want too? She wouldn't take no for an answer? That must be the most stupid thing I've ever heard. I told him that. No... I screamed that at him. I slapped him, I started crying and I just... lost it. He didn't get up, and he didn't flinch when I slapped him. He started saying that he deserved it, that what he had done was so terrible I should kill him. I just pushed him away from me and ran. I didn't run downstairs, no I needed time to think so I ran up to the roof. Of course he followed me out.

It was raining heavily at that point. It was impossible to see infront of you, yet I refused to go inside. Gerard begged me, and he pleaded. He tugged at my arm but I just ripped my arm out of his grasp. "DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING TOUCH ME AGAIN!" I screamed at him ontop of my lungs. God I hated him so much. I just wanted him to go away, I never wanted to see him again. He was still sobbing, and saying that he loved me, more than anything. I wouldn't listen. I had to try to get away from him. I ran to the edge of the building, I was looking for a fire escape, but I guess he thought I was going to do something else. He ran up to the edge as if to stop me from killing myself.

And... he startled me, I swear to God I didn't mean to. But he scared me and then he just... slipped. Over the edge. I couldn't think, I couldn't reflect I just acted. He opened his mouth as if to scream in fear, but not a sound escaped his wet lips. I managed to get a hold of his arm, just seconds before he fell towards the ground, far far down.

"Don't let go!" he yelled. Suddenly I felt like this must've happened for a reason. Maybe I was supposed to get my revenge like this? To "accedentaly" drop him of the building. Would that be enough payback for what he had done to me? Something in my eyes must've told him what I was thinking because he yelled again: "DON'T LET GO! PLEASE!".

What was I going to do?

As I sat there holding him I thought about everything. Everything fromt he moment he walked up to me at that party, to when I found out he had slept with my sister. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold on for long, he was heavy and the rain just got worse. Finally I made my choice...

"I love you Aimee, I love you so much". Gerard whispered to me as he held me in his arms. "I love you too Gerard, I love you too." I whispered back before I kissed him in the cold rain.