Method

Blog entry #17, July 11, 2007: The Beginning
It started innocently enough. It wasn't something I had planned, dreamed or given much thought to. It just happened. One split second, one spontaneous decision, can change your life. It did mine.
Van

5 Days Ago...
"Hey Van! Wanna grab some lunch?"

Jake stood awkwardly, with his hands in his pockets, waiting for Van to turn around.

"Hey Jake. Sure! Are we going to the craft services tent or you wanna hit that Tex-Mex place down the street?"

Van flashed his sideways smile that Jake always thought could light up a room. He'd only been on the set for a few months but his respect for Van's acting ability was obvious. He knew he could learn alot working here and made a point of observing Van's uncanny ability to emote through his facial expressions. "That's acting gold." he thought.

"Tex-Mex, man. Let's do that." Jake responded. The two actors walked through the busy studio lot where As the World Turns is filmed.

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"Wow this place must be REALLY good." Jake chided, as they sat down at the mostly empty restaurant.

"Your sarcasm is showing." Van's smirk said all the rest.

After their food orders were placed, naturally the conversation turned to work; Who got the most lines to say this week? Where was so and so storyline heading? Did that stylist really get a boob job?

"Ok, let's get serious here for a sec, Jake."

"Ok, whats up?" Jake leaned forward in his chair as if to signify his seriousness.

Van looked down at his half-empty glass. "So you know we're gonna be filming that towel scene next week right?"

"Yeah of course. How could I not know? I'm honestly nervous about it."

Van looked up from his glass. "Me too. You know when it comes to acting I really want to give the best performance every time right? This might sound strange but I want to propose something and I don't want you to freak out, OK?"

"What're you saying?" Jake looked at Van with his narrowing, quizzical eyes. The slight smile that went along with it helped ease Van's anxiety a little.

"I want what we do next week to look as natural and real as possible. We're not shooting the kissing scene right away but how do you feel about method acting? I thought we could learn to be more at ease with each other. Maybe even practice the kissing scene. I know it sounds strange."

Now it was Jake's turn to play with the ice at the bottom of his glass. "Um, kissing? I mean I've heard of other actors practicing scenes like that so it looks real. I think Ryan Phillippe and what's his name did it for that Studio 54 movie. I've..I've just never done that before...not with a guy." Jake could feel his face beginning to flush as red as the checkered tablecloth.

"Me neither. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even suggested it." Van's face echoed the slow realization that this may not have been the best thing to ask Jake.

"No it's ok. Hey if Gyllenhaal and Ledger could do it, so can we." Jake smiled. He knew that Van was a perfectionist and his acting ability showed it. If this could help him get to a new level of acting then he'd give it a try. "Besides, if I'm going to kiss a guy on this show, it might as well be Van," thought Jake as he nervously fidgeted in his chair.

"Maybe we can get together tomorrow night, have some drinks and see where it goes. Maybe practice a scene or two from the upcoming script?" Van asked. It was at this moment that he locked eyes with Jake. Those eyes were incredibly deep and framed by beautiful, angular facial features. "This wouldn't be so bad." Van thought.

"It's a date then." Jake held up his hands and made the quotation mark symbols with his fingers.

His smile alone made all the tension Van was feeling flow out of the room....

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Blog entry #18, July 12, 2007: Method Acting
Jake's coming over tonite to do a reading of next week's script. Playing gay characters has a certain responsibility and we want to get it right you know? If we're going to tell this story then we need to show the whole story. And to do that it needs to look authentic. Hopefully we can work on that tonite. I'll write more later.
Van

BZZZZZZT!! BZZZZZT!!!

Van rushed to the intercom buzzing loudly in his entryway. He quickly pushed the button only to hear static.

"Hello? Jake is that you?"

"Yeah man. It's me. I had a hell of a time finding this place. Can you hear me?" the tinny, static-like voice on the other end said.

"Yeah. Come on up." Van pushed the entry button to let his friend and co-worker into the building. Normally, he'd be more nervous right now. The two beers he drank beforehand helped ease the nerves. After all, this was an evening for new experiences.

The knocking quickly snapped Van out of his thoughts. He moved swiftly to open the door and was greeted to Jake's smiling face. "Hey Jake. Welcome to Casa Hansis." he said with his usual trademark smirk.

"Hey bud. This is for you...Or..uh...us. I thought we might need it tonight." Jake's outstretched arm held a nice bottle of wine. He wandered down the entryway observing everything in Van's apartment.

"Nice place! I see they pay you the big bucks." he joked. Van's place seemed to be only half decorated. A sure sign of someone that has too many things going on in his life to really have time to make his home feel lived in.

"Yeah yeah. I know. It's not done yet! Well at least I finally broke down and bought a couch!"

"Good. I need some place to seduce you tonight." Jake shot back with a muffled laugh.

"Nice! I guess we'll need to use this then." said Van as he brandished the bottle of wine and poured it into two plastic cups. Jake couldn't help but laugh at the sheepish grin on Van's face as he handed the cup to him. "How does a guy on a major soap who's obviously well paid not own any wine glasses?" Jake thought.

He was still laughing to himself as he sat down on the couch next to Van. "So um, now what?"

"Now I think we just read through the script together, drink and get comfortable with each other. And then drink some more. Ha ha."

"God. That smile does light up a room" thought Jake.

He was starting to feel the pressure and quickly downed his first cup of wine. "We're really going to do this?" he thought to himself.

Van could see that Jake was tensing up and instinctively put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed it a few times.

"Hey I know you're nervous. I am too. But we're going to be kissing next week on the show and probably several times after that. We've gotta get comfortable with it and with each other. We'll go slow. Let's just read through our lines a couple of times and see how it goes."

Jake nodded his head and smiled. "Ok, let's do this." As a teenager he had thoughts, like many other guys at that age, of what it would be like to kiss another man or even do more. But he pushed it aside like so many men do and just chalked it up to curiosity. That's all one could do when he was expected to conform to society's norms.

The two men read through their scripts several times always with a slight difference in intonation or emotion. After several readings and cups of wine, they were ready for a break. Van had noticed that somehow, throughout the evening, they had gotten closer together on the couch. He looked over to Jake whose head was reclined on the back of the couch with his eyes closed. For the first time, through the haze of alcohol, Van REALLY looked at him; The way his perfectly shaped eyebrows framed those deep blue eyes. Or how his Roman-esque nose was as equally flawless as his lips. He could see how the cloth of the tight ringer t-shirt he was wearing hugged his lean body and how his muscled chest moved up and down in time with his breathing.

Van knew then that there was no turning back. He slowly leaned in to kiss him but Jake sensed the movement and opened his eyes. They studied each others faces for what seemed like an eternity. And then without warning, Jake slowly closed his eyes and lifted his head to meet Van halfway. Their lips touched and then pressed softly against each other, alternating positions and discovering new ways to interlock. Jake moved his mouth slowly and methodically while Van would reposition himself to accomodate. He could feel Jake's hand slowly caressing the side of his torso as they continued their exploration.

Jake's hand found it's way to the middle of Van's chest caressing him and Van let out a soft sigh that only made Jake want to try even harder to please his friend. There was no doubt that there was a chemistry between them, most likely the reason he was hired to work with Van in the first place. The guys had done this several times with women but THIS was a new experience somehow.

Perhaps the nervousness had gotten the best of them as they eventually and hesitantly pulled apart to stare at each other and smile.

"Um so how was it?" Van asked hesitantly.

"Different." Jake responded trying not to look nervous.

"Are you ok?"

Jake looked down not wanting to meet Van's gaze at what he was about to say next. "Yeah I'm good. It was uh...um..it was..wow...it was good, Van. Different than with a girl you know?" Jake silently hoped and waited that Van wouldn't think he was a freak.

"Good. I'm glad you liked it. Different for me too. I know it feels strange right now but do you agree with me that it probably will help our performance the more relaxed we are with each other?"

"Yeah I do. You were great, Van." Jake said as he looked up at his friend and mustered a smile.

Van's trademark smirk made another appearance. "Yeah? You really think so?" he asked, clearly proud of himself. "Because you know, I was holding back."

"H..Holding back?" stammered Jake.

"I didn't wanna freak you out too much."

Jake thought a moment at how Van could possibly have been holding back. He couldn't believe what he was about to say to his friend but his conflicting emotions were too much to take a hold of. He had to see this through. No. He WANTED to see this through. "Well you wanted to get comfortable with each other so...don't hold back."

Van's eyebrows arched up in surprise and confusion but his smile said everything. "Ok, if you say so.." said Van as he started rubbing Jake's bicep and leaned in once more...

TO BE CONTINUED