something borrowed, something new

This is as usual dedicated to my lovely karin who looks after me and gives me encouragement when i need it!


Authors note- I know some of the dialog during the phonecall seems to be written wrong but it isn't, you have to bear in mind that bam is drunk so his speech would be fucked.


From the moment they started planning the wedding, Bam had a dream. It wasn't one he'd ever admit to another living soul, he barely admitted it to himself, but late at night when his unconciousness took over, it was there.

It was always the same, the church was full with friends and family, he and Missy standing at the altar ready to be married. But at the last minute, just as the reverand asked if there was any objections Ville, his Ville, stood up and declared his love for him. And without hesitation, Bam walked away, leaving Missy in her dress to leave with his one true love.

In the light of day, he pushed that dream to the side, squashing it down in his subconcious and refusing to think about it, but a small part of him longed for it.

He'd sent Ville an invitation but he'd never recieved a response and so here he was, standing outside in the cool night air, a married man and not even his best friend beside him. He could hear the faint noise of Iggy Pop singing and all their friends having a good time but all he could think of was: "he didn't come." and for some reason that hurt more than it should have.

"Bam?" He heard the high pitched, delicate voice of his girlfriend- no wait, his WIFE and he sighed silently, pasting a fake smile onto his face before turning round.

"Hey, what's up?" He asked gently. She really did look beautiful and he knew he was so lucky that she loved him so much but he wasn't sure if he'd ever love her as much as he knew he should. He'd thought that by marrying her, he could settle down and forget about his love for the one person he couldn't have, but now he realized that it wouldn't be that simple.

"I just came to tell you that our car's here to take us to the hotel so we should go and say goodbye to everyone."

Nodding, he allowed her to link her arm with his and guide him back into the room where the party was in full swing, where he had to endure yet another 15 minutes of people congratulating him and shaking his hand so much he thought it was going to fall off.

Finally they were in the hired car and on the way to their hotel for the night before they flew away for their honeymoon. He sat silently, looking out the window and watching the world drift past until Missy's voice broke through his thoughts again.

"Are you still disappointed that Ville and the rest of the HIM guys couldn't make it?" She asked sympathetically, and he gave her a small smile.

"Yeah I guess. I mean, it would have been nice for them to at least call and tell me they wouldn't be able to make it or to wish us luck."

"I know but I'm sure they had a reason, you know they've been really busy lately with the new album."

Squeezing her hand, he silently thanked her for trying to make him feel better. "Yeah I know, they'll probably call in the next few days or something."

They pulled up outside the hotel and they were immediately rushed by people opening doors for them and taking their bags, all of them eager to help. Bam made sure there was a fake, happy smile on his face, then tuned everybody out as the receptionist gushed to Missy about how beautiful she looked and how happy they were going to be together.

It didn't take long for him to get bored and he eventually managed to drag Missy away from the rapt attention of the hotel worker, and up to the top floor where their honeymoon suite was. They opened the door and Bam smiled his first real smile of the day as he watched Missy's face light up as she explored the beautiful suite.

He loved seeing her happy and he loved doing things or giving her things just to make her smile, but he only loved her as a friend. He just had to keep hoping that one day that love might turn into something more.

He was standing on the balcony of their room, looking out at the spectacular view when Missy slid up to him, kissed him and purred seductively into his ear that she was going to go and get changed into something more 'comfortable'. But the shiver that ran through his body as she headed into the bathroom, had nothing to do with anticipation.

He walked slowly back into the room and opened the champagne that the hotel had given them as a wedding gift, pouring two glasses of it and downing one quickly before refilling it. She came back out of the bathroom beofre he had a chance to drink his second glass and he could have cried.

She was wearing a sheer black lace teddy, a black garter round her right thigh and her hair was loose and curling round her face. She looked gorgeous and he could smell the perfume she wore that always drove him wild and yet, his body didn't even twitch in approval.

"You look amazing Missy." He said truthfully, hoping that she wouldn't notice that certain body parts were less than enthused by her. He'd had that problem for a couple of months now and he was beginning to think he was broken.

He started desperately trying to fantasize about anything that would possibly arouse him before Missy noticed something was wrong. He tried imagining another woman in the outfit Missy was wearing, but still nothing. Lesbians making out, two guys making out- nothing and nothing.

Ville coming out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but tight black boxers. Water dripping from damp curling hair onto his smooth, pale chest. Well, what do you know, he wasn't broken after all because here he was, suddenly hard enough to pound nails.

Taking the champagne from his hands, Missy let a delicate hand brush over his now prominant erection. "Why don't we leave the champagne til later?" She said suggestively.

Grabbing his hand, she led him towards the bed and Bam followed, still picturing Ville in an effort to keep up the charade of being aroused by her. He imagined Ville's hands on him the entire time she undressed him and by the time she lay down on the bed, pulling him on top of her, he was so lost in his fantasy that he wouldn't have been able to focus on his wife if he'd have tried.

He could almost feel Ville's smooth, hard body underneath him as he showered his face with soft kisses. He kissed Ville's plump lips passionately as he slid himself into his tight warmth, moaning aloud at the feeling.

"Mmmm baby, you feel so good." He murmured, letting his lips brush Ville's ear. "I need you so much, I've never loved anyone the way I love you."

Bam continued to moan sweet words into his ear, unable to focus on the response he was getting as he concentrated on bringing his lover as much pleasure as possible. "I love you. I love you so much Ville."

"WHAT?" He felt himself being pushed violently away and suddenly he was hit with reality. He'd always worried that one day he'd do it but he couldn't believe it had actually happened. He'd actually moaned Ville's name aloud during sex, and on his honeymoon for fucks sake.

His face paled as Missy scrambled out of the bed and started pulling her clothes back on, screaming at him the whole time.

"I can't believe this, how could you be thinking about someone else when we were making love, especially another man. I knew there was something going on between you two, how long have you been sleeping with him?" She suddenly demanded, whirling round to face Bam who was still sitting, stnned in the middle of the big bed.

"Huh? Never Missy, I've never done anything with Ville, we're just friends. He was just on my mind because he didn't come to the wedding and I was dwelling on it." It was a lame excuse and he knew it, wincing inwardly as it left his mouth.

"Bullshit Bam." She yelled angrily. "The rest of the band didn't come to the wedding either but I didn't hear you moaning Linde's name in bed."

He tried to interupt her again but she just raised her voice to talk over him and continued. "I should have known you were thinking of someone else when you called me baby, you've never called me anything other than my name before but it all makes sense now. You never said those things to me because you were keeping them just for him, that drunken singer." She spat disgustedly.

"Don't you fucking dare start on Ville, leave him the hell out of this." Bam shouted furiously. He could tolerate her anger when it was directed at him, he deserved it after all, but she had no damn right to insult Ville when he was completely innocent and not even there to defend himself.

"I told you, I never slept with Ville and I meant that. If he was here he'd be as shocked as you are so take your anger out on me but leave him alone because he's done nothing wrong."

Missy's face had gone paper white and she was obviously fighting back tears. "You're in love with him." She whispered in shock. "You're in love with him and you just married me because you'll never be able to have him and you thought that you might be able to forget him if you settled down with someone. You used me to get over him."

Her voice had got louder as she'd spoken and by the end she was screaming at him so loudly that Bam had a vague hope that she might actually lose her voice and then that part of the torment would be over.

He nodded silently, too ashamed to meet her eyes." I'm so sorry Missy." He said truthfully. "I never wanted to hurt you and I do love you, I'm just not in love with you. I've tried so hard not to love him but I can't stop, it's too hard."

When Missy spoke again, her voice was strained with the effort of forcing herself not to cry or yell. "I don't particularly want the world knowing that our marriage lasted 6 hours then ended because you couldn't stop thinking about men, so we're going to remain married for a while, maybe a month then we're getting a divorce stating personal differences as the reason. No one will know the real reson and I can actually be with someone who loves me."

Bam nodded again, still unable to speak and knowing that he really didn't deserve to have his opinion listened to at this point.

"I don't give a fuck what you do while we're still married Brandon, fuck every guy in America if you want to, just stay the hell out of my life." She didn't wait for him to respond, instead choosing to pick up her luggage and leave, the door slamming loudly behind her.

Fighting back tears himself, Bam slammed his fist into the nearest wall in self hatred. Grabbing the bottle of champagne and the full glasses, he went back to the bed pulling on a robe and draining the glasses of their contents as he went.

Not wanting to waste time with pouring, he contented himself with drinking the bubbly alcohol straight from the bottle. He knew it wasn't the best idea but the feelings of guilt, sadness and oddly enough, relief, were overwhelming him and he wanted to drown them.

The bottle was soon emptied and he was forced to raid the mini bar, pulling out everything he tolerate the taste of, determined to get drunk enough to forget his problems. Two hours later and he'd achieved part of his goal, he was completely wasted but he hadn't forgotten the reason he'd gotten drunk in the first place. He'd only succeededin becoming angry, morose and depressed, a volitile combination at the best of times and in his inebriated state he'd decided that the entire situation was Ville's fault.

Reaching for the hotel room phone, he pressed for an outside line and dialed Ville's number from memory, eventually getting it right after three different strangers patiently eplained that they weren't Ville, Ville wasn't there and in actual fact they didn't know ANYBODY by the name of Ville.

He finally heard the Finn's deep voice and he felt the familiar combination of dispair and lust at the sound of it.

"Ville?" He slurred. "it's Bam."

There was a heavy pause from the other end, then Ville's voice reached his ears once again. "Bammie, sweetheart, how are you? Let me put you on speakerphone so the guys can say hello too."

"Do what the hell you want." Bam muttered angrily as Ville connected the call to the entire room and everybody said their hello's.

"Bam what's wrong sweetheart? You sound really pissed off about something." He could almost see the looks of confusion the band members would be sharing and it made him snort with humorless laughter.

"I am pissed off and you should fucking well know why. I got married today and not one of you was there."

"I know. We're sorry about that but we've been really busy and...."

"Fuckin' bullshit." Bam exclaimed, cutting off whatever excuse Ville was about to come up with. "You just don't give a fuck. You could have least replied or emailed me sayin' good luck but nooooooo, you jus' don't care 'bout me. Oof." Bam let out a grunt of suprise as he managed to fall off the end of the bed, laying on the floor like an upturned turtle.

"Bammie are you drunk?" Ville asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, so what? You can't do nothin' about it." He replied childishly.

"Sweetheart, if we'd have known it would upset you this much we'd have tried to get our schedule changed so we could get to you."

"Shu'up. Stop being nice to me when I'm mad at you. It's all your fault anyways."

"What? What's my fault?" Ville asked, sounding slightly hurt.

"Everything." Bam yelled drunkenly. "The wedding, the divorce, everything."

"How can it be my fault you got married, and what divorce?" Ville questioned, anger and confusion warring with the hurt in his voice.

"It is." Bam insisted petulantly. "Cause if you'd have given a fuck and if you'd have turned up I might not have gotten married and if you'd have just stayed out of my head I wouldn't be getting divorced."

"Bam, you're not making any sense. How can you be getting divorced when you only got married a few hours ago and what does Ville have to do with it? Slow down and tell us what's going on." Mige said calmly.

"I kept thinking that maybe you'd turn up even though you never called me back. I thought that maybe you'd turn up anyway and we'd go for a drink and I could tell you everything and you could give me advice on whether I should do it but you didn't care enough to come for me so I did it anyway even though it hurt so bad.

Bam's voice was choked with supressed tears as the alcohol in his system loosened the way for his pent up emotions to come through.

"And then you wouldn't go away. I thought if I married her you'd go away but you didn't, even at the hotel you didn't and I said your name and Missy got mad."

"Fucking hell, I think I know what happened." Linde said, shocked. "Bam, did you say Ville's name when you were having sex with your wife?"

Bam was openly crying now, something that was an unusual occurance. "Yes. And she told me that she wasn't going to stay with someone who was in love with his best friend and I had to stay out of her life, then she left."

"That isn't even what hurts." He babbled drunkenly through his tears. "What hurts is that I wanted you there so I could maybe tell you and then I could move on if you said no but you didn't even care enough about me as a friend to turn up."

There was a few moments of somber silence and then Ville's tearful voice came down the line. "Bam, where are you?"

"Why'd you wanna know? So you can go even further away from me?" Bam slurred sarcastically.

"Where are you?" Ville's voice was impatient and Bam sighed heavily.

"I'm at the Vi hotel, short name so's I can remember it when I'm drunk. Urgh, I'm gonna puke." He hung up without saying goodbye and stumbled as quickly as he could into the bathroom, throwing up everything he'd digested that day. Staggering back to the bed, he carelessly pushed all the empty bottles off it, before climbing onto the soft matress and passing out.

******************

Bam woke to someone pounding rudely on his hotel door. He wasn't sure how long he'd been unconcious but he could tell by the headache that it had been long enough for him to sober up slightly. He moved slowly off the bed not wanting to antagonize his aching skull, and wandered over to the door, pulling it open quickly and revealing the man who'd gotten him into this mess in the first place.

He barely had time to register that it was Ville at the door before the Finn had pushed him back inside, kicking the door closed behind them and crashing their lips together with a passion so intense that it took their breath away. They kept walking backwards, still attached at the lips until Ville finally pulled away to check that they were going in the direction he wanted.

"Ville?" Bam gasped out. "What are you doing?"

Seemingly content that they were going the right way, Ville turned his attention back to the bewildered skater in front of him. "Bam, we can talk later, right now I just want you to shut up and kiss me."

Seeing that Bam was too stunned and hungover (AKA- still slightly pissed) to do as Ville had asked, so once again he took the initiative and pushed him onto the bed, quickly crawling over him and sealing their mouths together again. They kissed hungrily and there was an air of something intense, almost like anger in the way that Ville practically tore off Bam's robe and his own clothes, his mouth trailing hot, openmouthed kisses down Bam's neck as he disrobed them.

Bam wasn't sure if he was dreaming, had died and gone to heaven or if it was all real but to be honest he didn't really care as long as it didn't stop. He knew that this time between them was going to be raw, passionate and fast but he was ok with that, he had a feeling that they would get the chance for slow, sweet loving another time.

The first touch of their naked bodies nearly sent him over the edge and he took in a few deep breaths to control himself. All the women he'd slept with over the years and not one of them made him feel anything close to how having Ville above him in his bed made him feel.

Bam arched his back as Ville ground his hips down, causing a delicious friction between their highly aroused bodies and getting a low growl of approval from Ville's parted lips. Finally snapping out of his stunned daze, Bam raised his head to look at Ville properly and immediately let it drop back against the pillows with a moan. One of Ville's arms was twisted round behind him and it didn't take a genius to work out what he was doing.

It suprised him that the thought of Ville preparing himself turned him on so much but the thought of actually being able to be buried deep inside Ville's gorgeous body made him almost crazy with lust and he couldn't help the whimper that escaped him as Ville started to stroke his cock, his hand slick with a substance that Bam hadn't even seen.

"Ville please, I need you." He begged, not caring how needy he sounded and his heart raced as Ville smiled down at him.

"It's ok kulta." Ville soothed, raising himself over Bam's body. "I'm gonna make it ok and I'm never letting you go again." He lowered himself onto Bam's waiting cock hissing in pleasure as he was penetrated. Resting his hands flat against Bam's chest, Ville started to move, slowly at first until he got used to the feeling of having Bam inside him.

Bam's hands flew to Ville's girlish hips that he adored, rubbing gently over the soft skin and guiding the lithe mans movements. He looked up in awe at the stunningly beautiful creature that was riding his body, head thrown back in ecstasy and chest heaving with heavy breaths as he moved faster.

"Ville, look at me." Bam whispered huskily, letting a hand slide down to his neglected erection. "I want to see your beautiful eyes when you cum."

Ville let out a strangled moan of arousal as he felt the warm hand encircle him and he opened his eyes and saw Bam eyeing him hungrily. He was close already and Bam's hand pumping him furiously wasn't helping with his control. Shifting slightly, he angled himself so that every thrust hit his prostate and he made a point of clenching his inner muscles every time it did so that Bam would get as much pleasure as he was.

He could feel every muscle in his body clenching as it prepared for his release and he knew that Bam wouldn't be far behind him. A few more thrusts and Ville was screaming his release, keeping his eyes locked with Bam's like his lover had asked.

Seeing Ville's big green eyes turn almost black with lust as he came was all it took for Bam's orgasm to take him over, Ville's name pouring from his lips like a prayer.

Ville slumped forward onto Bam's chest, not letting Bam slip from his body until it became too uncomfortable to ignore. Flopping tiredly onto his back, he winced slightly as his sore ass hit the matress. He hesitated for a moment before snuggling up against Bam's body and resting his head on the skaters chest.

Bam let them enjoy the afterglow for a little while, not wanting to have to face reality the the more grown up part of him knew that they had to talk about what had just happened.

"Ville? What's going on? I mean, this just came out of nowhere."

"I know, sweetheart." Ville sighed. "But when you told me that you were thinking of me a lot, even during sex, I decided to come and talk to you but you answered the door wearing nothing but that damn robe and I couldn't help myself. Are you angry with me sweetheart?"

"I'm not angry at you but I don't understand. I thought our friendship was ending becasue you've pretty much ignored me for the last three months and you didn't even bother to show up at the wedding but then you turn up at my hotel room and jump me!"

"I wasn't trying to ruin our friendship on purpose darling, truth is, I couldn't stand going to the wedding because I didn't think I'd be able to cope seeing you marrying Missy when I wish so much that it had been me in her place."

Bam's mouth dropped open in shock. Ville, the guy he thought he'd never stand a chance with, had just admitted to him that he wanted to marry him. The conversation was getting too serious for him so he put on his best evil smirk and turned his head to look directly at Ville.

"Hey, if you wanna wear a big white dress that bad then go ahead but it's no excuse for not coming to the wedding!"

He smiled happily as Ville let out one of his infamous giggles that made his heart melt every time he heard it. "Do you love me Ville?"

Ville nodded, raising his hand to stroke the side of Bam's face. "Do you love me?"

"More than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life." Bam replied honestly.

"Then we'll find a way of making this work and any backlash we get after your divorce, we can handle together." A huge yawn broke his sentance and he grinned sheepishly. "We can deal with it together- later. I'm exhausted right now, I need at least eight hours recovery time!"

He waited for a reply but when none came, he looked up to find that Bam had already fell asleep, a happy smile on his face. Placing a soft kiss on Bam's lips, Ville pulled the duvet over them and laid his head back on Bam's chest, the rythmic sound of Bam's heartbeat the last thing he heard as he let sleep claim him.