Decadence

Author's note: This story is nothing I'm proud of (other than maybe the fact that I've actually finished it). No, I don't think they're actually like this. And don't worry, the girl in the beginning isn't there to stay, so please hold your flamings.

In any case, happy reading, and if you do bother to read, please don't forget to rate. Thanks.

Die threw himself on the couch with a lit cigarette in one hand and flung his feet up on the table in front of him. Some nameless girl followed him onto the couch and Die watched her blue painted nails scratch in his shirt. He focused on her face leaning over him, smudged eyeliner and dark red painted lips trembling was what reached his blurry brain. White skin, almost white enough to hurt his eyes. He tugged in some hair with his free hand, she gasped, strainy, black and middle length. Too much hairspray, together with her perfume it dulled his brain in a way he couldn't say that he particularly minded. She leaned in more, sought his ear and her hot breath met his skin in a way she must hope was seductive. To Die it was moist, qualmy air. It smelled of cheap beer and unbrushed teeth. He laid his head back to get away and stretched out his neck in front of her while tugging her head away in the process. She let herself be pulled back, but after he let go she leaned in again, and left a trail of smeary, deep red lipstick on his sprawled out neck on her way back to his ear. This time with a whisper full of teary honesty and confused, alcohol related nausea.

"I love you, I really do.. I have for so long, please never leave me.. I'll do anything.."

Die chuckled in cold amusement while she spoke, she could have kept going but his laughter cut her off. He laughed out loud, straight up in the ceiling. He put a hand on her stomach and pushed her away, still laughing. Who did they think they were, these girls, he asked himself in his mind with a sigh, as a sticky mess entered the room. It headed for the bathroom door at the other end of the room without bothering to even glance in Die's direction.

"Hey! Kyo, what the hell happened to you? Ew, what -is- that?"

"Pssht. Chocolate sauce, what the hell does it look like, moron? Keep to your groupie chick person and leave me alone."

"Grumpy bastard. You responsible for that mess yourself?" Die inquired, completely ignoring the girl crawling onto his chest with tears in her eyes and greedy, still trembling lips.

Kyo sighed in deep irritation. "No! Jeez. Shinya got too drunk to stand again and Toshiya dropped the whole package in my lap to take care of." Kyo slammed the bathroom door shut behind him. "Said something about finding a hotel to get some sleep. Then Shinya emptied his insides on me. I had to drag the bastard back here, he's asleep downstairs." he continued from the other side of the door.

Die laughed. "Hey, nothing new, then?" He said, Kyo didn't bother to answer.

Two minutes later the water was still running in the bathroom and the girl had somehow slid in between Die's legs ready to suck dick till she threw up as long as she'd get to wake up beside him. Die puffed out smoke and considered to let her have a go while Kyo still had the water running and couldn't hear. But considering that her hand was rubbing him through his pants she didn't turn him on much. He gave up the thought, it just wasn't appealing enough.

"You're a bother. Get out." He said with a dry voice and leaned back to look up into the ceiling once more. He dragged in more smoke. She stared at him for a couple of seconds while her heart and dreams and universe finally got crushed, then she stormed out. Kyo came out of the bathroom just in time to see her back disappear through the door as his glorious, newly washed and wet self strode out into the room.

"Did I ruin a moment or something..?" he asked with a voice soft of sleepiness while going for the couch too.

"Not precisely." Die mumbled, turning his head slowly from the ceiling to Kyo's profile.

It dripped from Kyo's wet hair and left dark stains on the couch.

He thought himself to see the entire universe and the miracle of its creation explained in the swirls of Kyo's wet hair and the droplets on his cheek. It was like he could feel the texture of Kyo's skin just by looking.

"Where the hell is Kaoru, anyway?" Kyo spoke.

The vision seeped into Die's eyes like stinging light and he closed them to try to focus on getting the answer of Kyo's question.

"Uuuuh." He rubbed his eyes. "Last I saw him was here, one of the rooms further down the corridor somewhere, sitting with his precious papers. Not so happily though mind you."

Kyo quirked a brow at the thought of a happy Kaoru with paperwork after a concert. Of course he wasn't happy.

"I better save him, then, shall I?" Kyo got up and walked over to the door. He poked his head out in the corridor.

"KAORU! KAOOOORU!!" he called with the tremendous lung capacity only he possessed. No answer. "HEY-HOW, KAORU M'BOY! COME OUTTT AND PLAAAAAY!"

They waited for an answer in silence. Die was chuckling quietly at Kyo's pronunciation but Kyo wasn't amused. Die knew he'd rather be sleeping tonight. As long as the day, or night in this case, had made a point in going against him, it didn't matter what would happen next, he'd be wishing that he was sleeping instead, and most likely holding an eye open for an opportunity to sneak away home, or maybe take a nap somewhere. Vomit in his hair, real vomit that is, would definitely be enough for Kyo to want to retreat.

"KAORU!" Kyo shouted, if possible even louder than before. He frowned, ready to give up when Kaoru's muffled, sleepy and hustled voice drifted down the corridor.

"Hrrn.. Huh-YES. yes, I'm here I'm.. hang on!"

Kyo shook his head at the man stumbling out into the corridor to find out why people were calling him for.

"You big buffoon, Kaoru-kun. Sleeping?" Kyo demanded. It was obvious he was a tad jealous.

Kyo crossed his arms over his chest. It was sort of forced, like he'd rather have opened his arms wide but didn't. Die focused on the wrinkly surface of Kyo's shirt covering his arm and thought once more to see more than there was. He could sense the electricity going through Kyo's muscles from his brain to force his arms to clutch himself. He could see every inch of the shirt fabric as if he was looking through a magnifying glass, despite him lying in the other end of the room. He could sense when Kyo's heart beat and watched his neck as if he could see the blood move through the veins in it. The light in the corridor was hard and artificial, and shining directly from above Kyo. It left apparent, black shadows on Kyo's face. The shapes printed themselves on Die's eyeballs and wiggled slightly in his vision. He blinked but they wouldn't go away. He looked away to make his eyes soften back to normal and rubbed them once more. Damn acid kept coming back blurring things for him.

Kyo moved out of the way and Kaoru came into the room. If they had said anything more Die had missed it completely. Kaoru looked weak and pale. He sat down, his left arm shaking slightly. Though it wasn't such an abnormal thing for Kaoru, as he didn't eat much. Same thing with Die, but Die had been drinking and felt strengthened.

"What the hell is it -really- you were shouting about? I really should be trying to concentrate at-"

"But you weren't concentrating in the first place, you were fucking sleeping." Kyo cut him off.

Kaoru gave Kyo a dark look. "Shush on you, brat."

In that moment, Die's head unexpectedly fell forward and a fairly loud snore was heard from him. Kyo and Kaoru looked his way and snorted. Kaoru studied his slender, almost withered away figure and thought that if he remembered, next time they passed a fast food place together, he would buy something for him to fatten himself with.

He himself should still lose some weight he thought, and considered starting to feed his meals to Die. He pulled his legs up on the armchair and pressed them towards his chest, to cover up his body for Kyo, who was once again looking his way. It gave him a nasty feeling to sit in front of others like this if he couldn't cover himself up. It felt like needles pressing underneath his skin everywhere he didn't want people to rest their eyes. If they saw how fat he really was.. He didn't really know what would happen but he was afraid of the humiliation.

***

How had they gotten into this mess, anyway? Kyo tried to look back and remember if it had always been like this. He struggled but couldn't recall much, a lot of it was very obscure. After a moment the absence of a few vital memories began to bug him and he thought he should ask the all knowing power currently lying somewhere to his right.

"Kaoru, are you awake?" Kyo asked softly into the dark.

"Are you kidding?" Kaoru's answer came instantly.

"Oh. I was just wondering.. What was it Dir en grey meant? I can't recall."

"Hrrm?" Kaoru hummed, vaguely questioning. Kyo thought he sounded a bit weird. He turned his head in the direction of Kaoru's voice, he squinted and could make out the shape of the guitarist, spread out on the floor with a pillow stuffed under his head.

"Do you remember what it means?" Kyo asked again.

Was he grinning? Kyo sat up and leaned forward a bit, squinting like an idiot. Damn right, a big grin was spread over his face, shadows of his adorable dimples graced his cheeks and there was a certain gleaming of teeth.

"Shh-It means for you to get over here and give your daddy a big kiss." Kaoru looked over to Kyo, still grinning, till his head fell back to its original position with a blank stare and he seemed to have forgotten what he'd just said.

"...Kaoru?" Kyo said in amused disbelief. "Are.. are you stoned or something?"

"Sure as hell."

"Buh.. Whaa..?" Kyo chuckled at him, still in a state of disbelief. Kaoru chuckled too, shrugged and mumbled something about Die. That's when Kyo saw it wasn't a pillow under Kaoru's head, it was Die's bag. The big old loon had nicked a hit. Quite unexpectedly, too, as Kyo found himself surprised. The Kaoru he knew didn't used drugs.

"Seeing stars..?" Kyo said with an overdone, chocolate voice, eying the other.

"Pretty..." Kaoru murmured, strikingly absent.

Kyo slid down on the floor from the couch and crawled towards Kaoru. He reached Kaoru, nuzzled his nose into his cheek, and positioned his mouth towards his ear.

"Kaoru~? Does daddy still want his kiss?" Kyo whispered in a mocking tone.

Kaoru didn't even attempt an answer. He shuddered and his eyes fluttered shut. Kyo let his mouth trail Kaoru's skin to his neck, where he bit down hard, with a tiny grin. Kaoru let out a raspy moan, the sound made Kyo weak. But the moment soon shattered, Kaoru's eyes flew open and he looked at Kyo with an unsteady and seemingly terrified gaze. "Don't..." Kaoru mumbled, and scrambled to sit up. He inched away from Kyo without letting him out of his sight.

"Don't touch me." He mumbled, though his tongue was stumbling over itself, and his voice was very unsteady.

Kyo was at first ready to back away, too, surprised by the other's strong reaction. But the siren call of Kaoru's eyes gleaming with delicious fear made him instead come closer. Soon Kaoru was trapped against a wall, dizzy and confused. Kyo grinned evilly, and was satisfied to see Kaoru press closer to the wall as he brought his face closer to his.

"Don't touch me, you'll hate me, and you'll never want to touch me again." Kaoru blurted out, still very unsteady.

Kyo's grin faded away, and he leaned back. "Alright, calm down, I was just joking around." Kyo stood up, and went back to the couch. Kaoru sank down to lie on the floor with his face hid. Kyo watched his form for a few minutes, contemplating Kaoru's irrational fear, till he finally got up to leave him alone, and find another room to sleep in.

***

"How can you just LEAVE him there? You KNOW how drunk he gets, you KNOW how dangerous it is, and you expect KYO to take care of him?"

"But really, I needed sleep so bad, and Kyo was there and I just..."

"DON'T TALK BACK, TRAITOR." Kaoru fumed.

Toshiya squirmed. "Don't call me that, I'm not a traitor, I just..."

"Hey, guys," Die interrupted by poking Kaoru's shoulder "I'm calling for a cab so we can get out of here."

"Sure, thanks. Remember we need a van one. Die? Die!"

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up will you, I'm on the phone." Die mumbled something about mother hens and took a few steps to the side with the phone to his ear.

Kaoru sighed at him and turned back to Toshiya, who was trying to sneak away and hide behind Kyo and Shinya. He followed him, still lecturing. In his lecture, Kaoru saw it fit to repeat most of Shinya's most memorable drunken moments, to remind Toshiya just how irresponsible he had been to leave a person capable of all of this alone. Shinya bent his head down, annoyed and embarrassed, and went to stand over with Die instead.

The taxi came after a few minutes. Die, who wanted to get away from the argument as he had a nasty headache, took the front seat, Shinya sat opposite to Toshiya, who sat beside Kaoru and Kyo, Kaoru in the middle. As they kept on arguing in the background something glittering caught Kyo's eye. Of some reason there was a silver chain hanging by the window at the driver's seat. Just as Kaoru irritably explained to Toshiya for the fourth time that people drunk off their asses, (in this case Kyo), can't be left as the responsible one for someone fainted in their own vomit, Kyo poked Kaoru roughly with his eelbow in his ribs.

"Kaoru. Kaoru." Kyo didn't take his eyes off the chain.

Kaoru turned around with narrowed eyebrows and flushed cheeks in the middle of a sentence. "What, Kyo?"

"Kaoru. What is that?" he said and pointed at it.

"Uh, a... chain?"

"It's shiny. I want it." Kyo still didn't take his eyes off of it.

Kaoru stared at him in disbelief. Toshiya, too, where he sat forgotten on the other side of Kaoru.

"I can get you another chain tomorrow."

Kyo finally forced himself to look away, and instead he met Kaoru's eyes and made a stubborn face.

"Can I please have it, Kaoru?"

Kaoru paused, then he sighed and his eyebrows narrowed even more than before. He leaned forward to talk to the driver, and five minutes later he was helping kyo to fasten it around his left wrist.

"You do realize I could have bought you something much nicer for that amount of money, don't you?" Kaoru murmured sternly while pinching close a bent open link. It was fastened and Kyo lifted his hand to his face to look at his new treasure with glittering eyes.

"Thank you, Kaoru." He said happily and pecked a surprised Kaoru on the lips.

Behind him Toshiya blushed a bright pink and looked out his window.

"Y-you're welcome.."

A few, very silent and fairly embarrassing, moments passed before Kyo broke the silence again.

"You ever thought of that, in twenty or thirty years or so, when we're old, we'll remember now and think these were our happiest years..?"

Kaoru resisted his urge to tell him otherwise. He pulled the corners of his mouth upwards and hoped that it looked more like a smile than it felt like one. Kyo seemed satisfied, still fingering his new chain.

In the front seat, Die's hangover finally got he better of him. The taxi pulled over, he opened the door and threw up over the sidewalk.