I Need You Beside Me

You’re my all, I need you beside me. –Secret Forgiveness, Negative.

“Noel?” the seven year olds faint, almost feminine lisp came cautiously from across the dark of the bedroom.

“Why aren’t you asleep?”

“Noel, where did you go?” the small voice demanded. Noel sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. The ache from three days ago still hadn’t gone away, but watch him try to complain to Mum.

Besides, he’d given the bastard a few good cracks in the jaw, and maybe that was the best he could hope for right now.

“I was out,” he said shortly, hoping his younger brother would be satisfied with that and drift back off to sleep. Knowing Liam, the chances of that were slim to nil.

“Out where? Why didn’t you take me with you?”

“Because you’re just a kid, and there were adults there, and I didn’t want you to ruin my fun.” Noel snapped as he began to undress in the dark. He didn’t need to turn on the light to know that the little boy was sitting up in his bed, clad only in the over sized stripy pyjamas that had once belonged to Noel himself. The little boy would be sitting, arms crossed, lip pulled down into a definite pout.

“I am NOT just a kid.” He protested.

“Yes you are,” Noel sighed, even though he didn’t want to have this fight tonight. He slipped into bed, pulled the covers up to his chin.
“You’re just a kid and you ought to have been to sleep hours ago, so shut out that light before I call Mum up here.”

“You wouldn’t call her.” Liam said fearlessly. “You wouldn’t ‘cause she’s just asleep and has to be up early for the factory, and you don’t want to wake her.” Shit. The kid was clever, that was for sure.

“And you have to be up early for school. Now. Go. To sleep.” Noel said slowly. There was silence for a few minutes, but the conversation wasn’t yet over.

“Noel?”

“What, Liam? What do you need? What do you want? What can I do to just get you to shut up and go to sleep!”

“I don’t like it when you’re gone.” This one small thing is enough to make Noel’s mouth close, his anger slowly seep away from him. What is it about the kid that always gets to him like that?
“I know,” he sighed. He scrubbed his palm down his face and sighed. Finally, finally, maybe now they’d be getting some sleep.

But just as his eyes closed, he was aware of a small figure next to his bedside.

“I want to sleep with you.” That was Liam for you, never asking, simply stating what he wanted, innocent and naively thinking that he would get whatever it was. There was very little arrogance in this line of thinking, Liam simply didn’t understand why he shouldn’t get what he wanted.

“Not tonight,” the older brother mumbled, turning over so his back was to his sibling. But the younger one didn’t retreat back to his bed. He remained standing. Finally Noel groaned.
“Whatever,”

Happily, the younger one crawled in, hogging the blankets to tuck up around his ears. He usually slept with the blankets covering all of him but his face.

The night started out with several inches between the brothers. Noel gingerly, carefully, laid down on his back, staring up at the ceiling, waiting. This was par for the course. He only wanted to get this over with so that he might finally be able to get some sleep.

Liam scooted closer. His side rested against Noel’s arm. He nudged at the arm until it wound around him. His little head, hair smelling of Jaffa cakes and Mum’s shampoo rested against Noel’s chest, directly above his heartbeat.

This was the time when Noel didn’t feel like he could control his hands. They came up to cup the back of the skull that fit perfectly in his palm, his fingers gently massaging. His other hand wrapped around the small back, rubbing gently.

“I love you, Noel.”

“I love you, too, Liam.”