Just Turn Out The Light

AN: I have taken some liberties with their ages here. Please understand. Also. Negative=mega inspiration. As does my darling ever dear friend Schu, and so this, and all my Oasis fics, are hereby dedicated to her.

In my deepest fears, I’m losing you. Even if somebody tried to stop my heart, I’m still alive, I will never give up. Just turn off the lights, don’t wanna see me cry. I look like I’m dead, but when you look at me, I am still alive. Just open your eyes, don’t wanna see me cry. I’m right here where you want me to be, fighting with myself.-Still Alive, Negative

The house was blissfully dark as Noel crept inside. He smelled of cigarettes and cheap beer and grass. Sleeping in the park hadn’t been particularly fun, but it had been necessary.

After all, one only stands a beating so often.

He tiptoed upstairs. Gently, he pushed open the door, smirking to himself when he realized he knew this house so well that he didn’t need to turn on a light. He had been gone for two weeks, and nothing had been so much as moved out of place.

Figured.

The nightlight was stuck in the socket of the room he shared with Liam, casting a dull orange sort of glow about. He glanced at his little brother’s bed, expecting to see the kid curled into a ball, blankets pulled over his head so only his face was showing.

But the bed was undisturbed. In fact, the blankets looked like they hadn’t been moved for ages. He could tell by the way they were folded just so with the pillow on top. The way Mum put them when she made up the beds when she changed the sheets.

Which she only did every two weeks.

Which was how long he had been away.

Turning to his bed, he saw two accusing eyes peering at him from the dark.

“You left.” Came the angered little voice.

“What are you doing in my bed, Liam? Go lay down on your own. I’m tired.” He skirted the question.

“But you LEFT.” The twelve year old repeated. Liam rolled his eyes, though he knew his brother most likely couldn’t appreciate the gesture in the dark.

“Yes, I left, and I’m back now, so will you please go and get in your own damn bed? I’m too tired to deal with this tonight.” Really he’d been relishing the thought of laying in a real bed and not on the grass. You always ended up dewy and achy in the morning.

“But you left me.” Liam said again.

“Yes, I did. I came back.” Noel dropped onto the edge of the bed to pull of his shoes. Liam watched him with a hurtful interest. He was sitting up, the blankets pooled in his lap. He couldn’t help but notice the kid had put on one of his t-shirts and was positively swimming in it.

“You left me.” The kid was sullen now. Noel sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Let me sleep with you tonight.” Came the prompt response. Hm. The kid must have been saving that one up for when he finally came home. Well, it was late, and he didn’t want to argue, so he stripped out of his clothes and changed into a fresh pair of boxers before slipping between the sheets.

The sheets that smelled distinctly of Liam. Liam who was now curling close to him, demanding in his silent way that Noel drape arms around him and pull him in against his chest. This was the way that the boy liked to sleep, all tangled up in someone else.

“Why did you leave me?” Noel could hear the misery in the question, the tears that must have been shed these fourteen nights he was away. The older brother could only shake his head and press his face into the fresh washed hair of the child.

“I didn’t leave just you, you know. I left Mum too.”

“But she that was okay, wasn’t it? After all, she had me to look after her. But Noel, when you’re gone, I haven’t got anyone to look after me.” The small face nuzzled into his neck.

“You’re old enough to look after yourself.” A negative shake from Liam.

“I am not. You left me, and I don’t want you to do it again.”

“All right, all right,” he rubbed the small back, trailing his fingers against the nubs and bumps of the spine. “I left you, I oughtn’t to have done it, and I won’t do it again.” This was an empty promise, but Liam didn’t need to know that.

“Don’t leave me.” Liam mumbled sleepily. He yawned and stretched his back before settling into a more comfortable position. Noel raised his eyes to the ceiling, silently wondering what he was supposed to do. This was bound to repeat itself.

He pressed tender kisses to the young cheek against his. Liam seemed to lean into the displays of affection. He turned his head and in his young, uninhibited, dirtily innocent way, pressed kisses of his own to Noel’s mouth.

That mouth, that little mouth tasted of Jaffa cakes and mint toothpaste. He must have snuck a treat before hopping into bed. Little brat. The small pink tongue was insistently pushing against Noel’s lips.

“Not tonight,” he mumbled.

“Why?” Liam pouted. “It’s been two weeks. And you’re the one who left, I’m the one who had to suffer.”

“I said not tonight. Go to sleep. I’m letting you sleep with me, aren’t I?” the kid raised an eyebrow as if to say he’d have ended up in the bed if Noel had said no, and they both knew it.

He did lay his head back down though and fairly purred when the long, rough fingers of his brother carded through his hair. Soon enough he was falling back asleep.

“You’re not the one who suffers.” Noel thought. “You’re completely right, though. Whenever I leave, you’re the one I’m leaving. And still, I keep coming back to you.”