Smother me

My boyfriend Frank.

Even after three months of going out, those three words still made me feel weird inside. They still didn't make much sense, even if I knew they were true. After being hopelessly in love with Frank for over two years, he confessed he liked me back. That was the happiest day of my life.


I had always watched Frank, when I thought he didn't see. Of course I was always his best friend's weird older brother – which was a disadvantage. At least I was in a corner of his life, and I had an excuse to talk to him. Mostly I used to fantasize about him. About how he would run his perfect hands through my long, black hair. Sometimes if I closed my eyes and concentrated, I could almost feel them caress my hair. Of course as soon as I opened my eyes I realized it was just another dream.

At first Frank never looked at me, and who could blame him? I was Gerard Way, boring to no end. Fat, with boring hair, and a weird love for comics that no one seemed to understand.

But then somehow, his eyes seemed to linger a little too long in mine when we said hello. Somehow, it seemed that he tried to eat for as long as he could when he had dinner with our family. Somehow it seemed that his eyes would light up when I smiled at him.

I thought in the beginning, that I was wrong; I was making up these signs in my head. How could I go from being nerdy Gerard who was always in Frank and Mikey's way when I was home, to being someone that made Frank's eyes glitter when I was around? It was impossible – I thought.

I was wrong, it wasn't impossible.


On that day, it had been almost two years to the day that I had known him. He didn't go up to Mikey's room when he came over. He came down to my basement room and knocked on the door. Of course my room was always a mess, but it didn't stop him from simply walking in. I remember my mouth fell open as he waded through the knee deep piles of clothes and other things, to reach my bed.

He sat down on it, and smiled widely at me. I, who had been enjoying a comic in my chair, still stared at him, not knowing what to say. It was Frank who opened his mouth first.

"I like you," He said, and then it was out there.

Just like that, he confessed to liking me, and I felt my heart jump around in my chest, almost like it was trying to escape. I couldn't reply, but I got up when he waved me over to the bed. I joined him on the bed, and tried to force myself to say something.

I had no time though, because he kissed me as soon as I was seated next to him.

That's how it started, and I had never been happier. No longer was I the freak Gerard, the comic nerd Gerard. No I was Gerard, the brave gay guy with the most amazing boyfriend. I saw no reason for Frank liking me, but he did.

I voiced this to Frank, almost every day, but he always shushed me.

"Please Gerard, I like you for who you are, just leave it at that."

I tried, I really did, but I just couldn't accept it. I just couldn't accept that he was mine. I didn't feel like I deserved him, or anyone else for that matter. I was happy, oh so happy, but I was still weird. I was still fat, and I was still boring.

"Gerard, I like you just the way you were born."


As the days turned to weeks our relationship got more and more serious. We had loads of firsts, and they were all amazing. First kiss, first tongue kiss, first kiss in the rain, first time we kissed in public, first time we slept in the same bed, and the first time we had sex.

I remember out first time, how awkward I had felt, because of my body. But Frank assured me he loved what he saw, and I, for once, trusted him completely. As soon as our clothes were discarded on the floor, I forgot how much I disliked myself.

As out body-heat rose, and as sweat started glistening on our bodies, I forgot everything but Frank. Everything was gone, nothing mattered, nothing but making Frank feel as good as he made me feel.

It was perfect, that's the only word that can be used to describe the first time we were intimate. Afterwards, we lay there, both of us breathing heavily, and that's when we first said it.

"I love you Gerard." He said, and smiled, where he was still placed on top of me.

"I love you too Frank." I said carefully, knowing I meant it, but still being scared of the words.

Frank had smiled even more widely, and pressed his lips against mine again, to seal the deal maybe.


Of course as soon as our clothes were on again, I felt just as bad about myself. I looked down on the bed sheets, feeling my eyes sting. Frank saw what I was thinking, maybe because he knew me so well, and he frowned. And when I smiled apologetically at him, something changed about him.

His eyes turned black, and his fingers gripped the pillow in his arms almost cramp like.


And then my whole life flashed before my eyes, the last few months, stinging even more as it became harder to breathe. Remembering the last few months hurt more than my lungs fighting for breath. Remembering the last few hours made my eyes burn with tears as my body grew weaker. And then, darkness.


Frank's P.O.V.

I closed my eyes as I lifted the pillow of my boyfriends face. My beautiful boyfriend, my amazing boyfriend, who just couldn't see himself how perfect he was; and it drove me crazy.

I screamed, as the first tear from my eyes hit his still and silent face.
I screamed again, as my tear-filled eyes met his cold and dead ones.


A/N:
Comment, and the ending shall be revealed :)