louder than words

The crowd went wild as the last notes of Funeral Of Hearts faded out and the band left the stage, grinning widely at each other, enjoying the high that came from playing to their fans.

"That was intense." Mige chuckled. "The fans were wild and did you see Gas's little fan club up on the balcony? They had banners and everything!"

Ville laughed as Gas blushed lightly at the mention of the girls that had stood practically right over his drum kit and kept shouting things to him that would have made a porn star blush. He had to admit it was nice to be on the recieving end of the attention once in a while though.

All five men hurried to the dressing room and grabbed their belongings, all anxious to get back on the bus so they could get to their hotel for the night. Sneaking out the back, they quickly crossed over the road to the car park that their bus had been left in just out of sight so that the fans wouldn't mob it.

Opening the door, Ville only just held back a scream as a figure darted out of their bus, pushing past him in a bid to escape. Spinning round, he saw that Mige had managed to grab hold of the intruder.

"Has anyone got their cell phone on them so we can call the police?" Mige asked, holding on tightly to the struggling figure.

Walking over to them, Ville took a good look at them and his heart broke. The person that had scared them all was just a young guy, only just out of his teens by the look of him. His clothes were torn and filthy and his hair was matted with dirt so badly that Ville couldn't tell what colour it normally was. His face was gaunt and it made his big blue eyes look huge and unable to fit his face properly, he was pale and shaking, obviously terrified and Ville felt so much compassion for him that it nearly choked him.

"I don't think we need the police, he looks so scared anyway."

"Yeah scared that he got caught." Mige retorted.

"Look at him, I think he's homeless. He was probably just looking for somewhere to sleep."

The boy nodded and Mige sighed. "Then that's all the more reason to call the cops, at least he'll have a roof over his head and some food."

Shaking his head frantically, tears started to fall from crystal blue eyes and even Mige couldn't bring himself to dial the number. "Fine. No police but I think we should take him with us back onto the bus until we've checked that he hasn't stolen anything from us."

"When did you get so cynical?" Linde asked with a frown.

"If you found someone in your house one day you'd call the cops no questions asked, what's the difference? We live in here for most of the year and I don't want any of our belongings going missing."

Since no one could really find fault with his argument, they all clambered onto the bus, the scared teenager in tow.

"I'll stay here with him, you guys go and check the bunks and stuff." Ville offered and at Mige's suspicious look, quickly defended himself. "I'm not gonna let him go, I just want to talk to him."

Once the rest of the band had disappeard into the back of the bus, Ville pulled the boy down onto the sofa next to him, making sure he was sitting in front of the way out so he couldn't make a run for it.

"Have you stolen anything from us? If you have, just give it back and I'll make sure Mige doesn't call the police."

The boy shook his head and Ville nodded in understanding. "I was right. You were just looking for a place to stay weren't you." A nod followed his words followed by a weak but grateful smile at his understanding.

"What's your name?"

The guy just looked at him helplessly and Ville suddenly realised that he hadn't actually spoken a word since they'd found him.

"Can you speak?"

When he shook his head, Ville rummaged around in the bag he always took to the venues and triumphantly pulled out his lyric notebook and a pen. Turning to a fresh page, he handed both items to the scared boy next to him and tried again.

"What's your name?" Ville smiled reassuringly at him when he hesitated. "It's ok I promise. My name's Ville by the way."

He smiled again when, a few moments later, he was handed his notebook back with the words my name's Bam written in it in an untidy scrawl.

"Cool name. How old are you, Bam?"

nearly 21 came the written reply.

"What happened for you to end up like this?"

A tear slipped down Bam's cheek as he shook his head indicating that he either couldn't or wouldn't talk about it and he nearly jumped out of his skin in fright as a bang resonated from the bunk area. Scribbling hastily onto the notebook Bam passed it back to Ville staring at the entrance to the back of the bus like he expected satan himself to come through it.

Please don't let him hurt me.

Ville frowned in confusion. "Do you mean Mige? The guy who stopped you from running away?"

Bam nodded, pulling his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms round them as if he could just disappear if he curled into himself enough.

"He won't hurt you. He can be a little grouchy sometimes but he's a nice guy, you have to see it from our point of view too, we just found that some stranger had broken into our bus when we were away from it."

Bam nodded. I'm sorry.

"It's ok. How long has it been since you've had something to eat?" Ville asked as Bam's stomach gave a painfully loud rumble.

I'm not sure, it might have been this week or it might have been the week before, I'm not very good at keeping up with time and dates now.

Their conversation was interupted by the rest of the band coming back. "Everything seems to be there. Mige admitted, sitting down opposite Bam.

"Good, then tell the driver we're ready to go so we can get to the hotel, I'm exhausted." Ville grinned.

"What about him then?" Burton asked, gesturing towards Bam. "I feel kinda bad just leaving him here."

"We're not, we're taking him with us." Ville said, watching Bam to gauge his reaction.

Eyes wide, Bam started shaking his head scooting further and further away from the band until he was practically pressed up against the wall.

"Bam? What's wrong?" Ville asked concerned, holding out the pad and pen to him. "Please tell me, just let me know what's wrong."

Bam finally reached out and gingerly snatched the items from Ville's hands, scribbling away quickly.

"What is he doing?" Linde asked curiously, watching Bam write.

"He can't talk, so I speak to him and he responds by writing." Ville replied distractedly, not paying any attention to the fact that the rest of the band were staring at them strangely as he took the note back.

I'm sorry for what I did. I didn't steal anything and I didn't do any damage so please don't hurt me. I don't know what you want from me, please just let me go.

"Sweetheart, we're not gonna hurt you." Ville said gently, slowly moving closer to Bam. "We're not going to do anything to you, I promise. I just thought that you might like to have a bath and a proper meal and maybe sleep in an actual bed for the night."

why? what do you expect me to do in return?

It was then that Ville realised the reason that Bam was so scared of going to a hotel with them and it made his stomach churn.

"Oh god. It's happened to you before hasn't it? Someone's made you think that they were trying to help you but you had to give them something in return, they forced you into having sex with them didn't they."

Bam nodded, his head hung in shame.

"It must be terrifying for you to be stuck in a bus with five men then, I'm so sorry kulta." He looked round at his bandmates who all looked a little shellshocked and horrified.

"Listen, we really do want to help you and we don't want anything in return so how about we make a deal. I'll put 911 on the speed dial of my cell phone and you can keep hold of it. If you get too scared at any point and you seriously think we're gonna hurt you then you can just press 6 and it'll ring the police."

Bam considered the offer for a few moments, wondering if he should just run but the temptation of food, hot water and a real bed called to him and he found himself agreeing and taking the phone once he'd watched Ville programme the number into his speed dial.

It wasn't long before the bus pulled into the hotel car park and the band all raced to be the first to grab their stuff and get to their rooms. Making he had his inhaler close by, Ville realised that Bam was still sitting on the couch watching the madness and looking like he was going to bolt at any given time. Grabbing a coat and one of his beanies, he took them over and handed them to the shaking boy.

"Put these on for a bit sweetheart, I'm not sure if the hotel will let you in otherwise. He said apologetically, thankful when he put them on with no arguments. The beanie came to just above his eyebrows which made his eyes look even larger in his small face and Ville couldn't help but think how beautiful they were. Shaking himself out of those thoughts, he grabbed his bag in one hand, Bam's arm in the other and headed into the hotel where the rest of the band were already waiting at the reception.

"You're in room 106." Mige said, handing Ville a card key. "Seppo's already been and gone and he said to tell you that you're free tomorrow until the time we all have to leave to get to the venue."

Grinning happily, Ville tugged Bam gently into the elevator, almost bouncing in his eagerness to be able to relax in his room. Finally reaching their destination, he opened the door and wandered in, throwing his bag on the floor next to the desk. He sighed gently when he saw that Bam was still standing by the huge double bed with trepidation.

"It's ok, I'm going to be sleeping on the couch."

Bam shook his head at his words and reached into the pocket of Ville's coat to retrieve the notepad. It's your room, you should have the bed.

"No, it's ok. I have insomnia at the moment anyway so there's no point in me being in the bed when I'm probably not going to be sleeping. I'm just gonna go and take a really quick shower and then you can take your time and have a really long bath or something ok?"

Bam nodded gratefully and Ville smiled at him before thinking of something. "You're not gonna run away while I'm in the bathroom are you?"

Bam shook his head, making the 'cross my heart sign which made Ville want to giggle, remembering that the last time he'd seen that done was in the playground at school. He managed to control himself though, not wanting the jumpy, sensitive boy to think he was being cruel.

"Ok then. Make yourself at home and have a look at the room service menu and see what you want then I can order it when I come out."

True to his word, Ville kept his shower as short as he could. He usually spent ages just letting the water soothe away the stresses of his day but he knew that the young guy sitting in his room needed it ten times more than he did. Once he was dried and dressed, he headed back into the main room to see Bam sitting and glaring at the menu sadly.

"Hey, have you decided what you want?"

Bam shook his head miserably and Ville frowned wondering what could be wrong. "Why not?"

I don't have any money and everything is expensive on here, you can't pay for me.

Grinning, Ville picked the menu up from the duvet and sat down next to Bam on the bed, pleased when, although he flinched quite violently, he didn't move away.

"I'm gonna tell you a secret. Me and my friends are in a band and we're on tour promoting our new album so all this stuff, the hotels and the food and drink are all paid for by the record company so you can order what you like!"

Watching Bam scour the menu with wide eyes, Ville realised that he must be a little overwhelmed at all the choice after not having proper meals.

"Too much to choose from?"

Bam nodded, almost panicked.

"Would you like me to choose something for you when I order mine?"

Another nod, this time more relaxed.

"Ok, no problem. If there's anything you don't like or are allergic to, write it down so I don't get it and you can go and have a bath while I order it and we wait for it to arrive. I've left some clothes in the bathroom for you that I think should fit you."

Bam headed nervously towards the bathroom as though he expected something nasty to jump out at him but when it didn't, he seemed to relish the thought of actually having a bath and he hurried inside, locking the door behind him.

Hearing the water start to run, Ville dialed for room service and placed his order. Roast chicken, potatoes and vegetables for Bam, nothing to greasy if it was his first meal in a while, with a still mineral water and a vegetable lasagne and diet coke for himself. Making himself comfortable at the desk, he pulled out his spare notebook and started to write, inspired by the events of the day.

Hearing a knock on the door sometime later, Ville suddenly realised that Bam was still in the bathroom so after accepting the food and giving the waiter a tip, he gently knocked on the bathroom door.

"Bam, the food's here when you're ready."

The bathroom door opened a few minutes later and Ville couldn't help but stare. Bam had a tan under the grime that had covered him and Ville's shirt clung to his shoulders as he was broader than him. Bam's hair turned out to be a rich brown and the slight curls fell just over his eyes and made Ville want to brush the now clean strands out of the way of the beautiful orbs. He'd also shaved, leaving a small goatee that somehow made him look even younger.

Trying not to make it obvious that he was practically drooling, Ville patted the seat next to him on the sofa. "It's ok I promise, you're safe."

Bam did as he was told although he kept as close to the other end of the couch as he could, eyeing the large plate of food in awe.

"It's not gonna eat itself!" Ville laughed as Bam continued to just stare at it, causing the younger man to blush and start digging into his food ravenously.

"Did you have a good bath?" Ville asked, picking at his lasagne. He hadn't really been hungry but he had a feeling that Bam wouldn't have wanted to eat on his own.

Bam nodded enthusiastically, barely looking up from his chicken.

"You might want to slow down on that a little sweetheart, if it's been a while since you ate properly then you might make yourself sick if you rush it." Ville advised softly.

Bam mouthed the word "sorry" to him, his eyes downcast like a puppy that had just been scolded and Ville felt like the biggest asshole ever.

"Don't be sorry kulta, I'm glad you're enjoying it, I just don't want you to feel ill later because of it."

Bam spared him a little smile and went back to his food, at a more normal speed this time. It didn't take him long to finish the plateful and he sat back contented and full, more relaxed than he had been since he'd met this incredible man that seemed to want to take care of him. He suddenly noticed that Ville had only eaten a few bites of his own and left the rest and he looked over conveying his question with just a look.

"I wasn't really hungry. I'll have something for breakfast tomorrow when we get up." Ville explained, biting back a yawn which set Bam yawning too.

"I don't know about you but I'm ready to get some sleep, or try to anyway." Ville grinned.

Bam nodded shyly, looking anywhere but at Ville.

"I've got some sweatpants you can wear if you like. I don't usually wear a top when I sleep but I can find one for you if you want to."

Bam shook his head indicating that he was ok, accepting the sweatpants and heading towards the bathroom to get changed. When he came out again he found that Ville had pulled some spare sheets and a pillow out of the wardrobe and was making a bed out of the couch, already in his own night wear.

"You're still gonna be here in the morning right?" Ville asked as they both got into their beds.

Nodding tiredly, Bam pulled the sheets up to his chin, revelling in actually having something soft and comfortable to sleep on for once.

"Good. Sleep well Bam and don't worry, you're safe with me."

Ville was speaking to himself though as the combination of the hot bath, full stomach and soft bed had already lulled Bam to sleep.