Liebes Tagebuch

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Introduction...
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Sometimes I live in fantasy, and only wish I had the proper writing skill to bring my silly daydreams to life, so my apologies if the writing isn't that great, but I wish to learn as I go.

To start with is a short oneshot for practice, an unnamed woman paired with Till Lindemann of Rammstein.

Thank you for reading and double thanks for any rating or review.


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A woman's side...
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It's a bit difficult to be Till Lindemann's girlfriend, not in the sense of traveling beside him, that's manageable, but what he shows of his sexual persona on stage and in his poems and lyrics was really only just a glimpse into what really lay beneath.

To go from a rabid fan catching whatever concerts I could and buying up any merchandise I could get my hands on, always wondering what this man was really like, to actually catching the luckiest break ever at an afterparty one evening.. I still have trouble believing it, but life happens and here we are at 11 months together, nearly a year, a very wonderful year, and I hope for many more to come.

It had taken me some time to catch on but eventually I pieced it together, my manly man Till was a bit of a bisexual, and I felt pretty stupid for not catching on sooner, he was amused. I have no problem with such a thing though, I admit to checking out other women myself, though I greatly appreciate the male form in all of it's anatomical splendor. I didn't like the idea of sharing Till, but since he did not want to share me either, it all worked out.

For now I wanted to write down these dear memories to me so that at least I will have this to hold onto if our romance doesn't last. If you read this Till I am sorry for saying such a thing, but you and I both know most relationships don't last forever, we've had our hurts in the past and I can only hope that if we do part ways, it will be on good terms.

Travel is a bit stressful but even so, it's perfectly enjoyable for me, that even with Till's anger if a flight is late or delayed, he always asks and makes sure I'm comfortable and taken care of. I thought it was too sweet to last but even after all these months it's still ongoing, so even with his famous temper and somewhat frightening outer appearance sometimes (or so I hear) he can be a big sweetheart.

I am getting off track here though, I had started off by mentioning that it was a bit difficult to be his girlfriend.. I am wondering how his previous lovers have fared? not that I have or would ask about his other women, though I do listen when he speaks or vents.. but to be his lover is very exhausting, in a good way though. Maybe it's a burning question to all his female fans out there, but let me say that yes ladies, if you're sleeping with Till Lindemann there are orgasms aplenty, and it's always you first! that's a bit of what's exhausting.

Till works out, he is in great shape for his age, admittedly I was slacking when we met but I am working on it more now, or sex with him is enough of a workout anyway. To start the night off in the bedroom he will pick whichever toy he fancies that evening, and I am usually tied or handcuffed to make sure I cannot resist this part, because sometimes it is a bit too much to bear.

With this toy I am brought to orgasm multiple times, and I cannot get away when it is too much to take, it most always ends with my begging him to stop and writhing in mindless pleasure, he likes it that way. He says he likes to start off this way because not only does it get the pussy going but it makes it tighter from the start, also he just loves torturing a helpless woman tied to a bed, I think.

It's usually here that we've gotten complaints from others to keep it down, if we're in a hotel at the time anyway, thankfully the door is always locked and they only bang on the door and yell at us. Till's usual reply is "Fuck off!" unless he's too busy to reply. If interrupted at a particular good moment, he has been known to throw a boot at the door as well, if it's within reach anyway.

He makes up for the slight torture to start with by following it up with kissing it all better, one of his most favorite places to be is between a woman's legs. It is almost a bit torturing anyway, because with us both naked from the start, my eyes rolling over his flesh, I want him so badly but he always makes me wait and teases before he'll release me and give me what I want.

He does enjoy physical pain somewhat, there are scars on his back from previous lovers, how could I expect there not to be? if not somewhat jealous I am at least happy that I've also gotten to leave my mark on him too. I think he enjoys my nails a lot, I always have them done up real nice with color but never fake nails, thankfully my nails are beautiful enough on their own, fake nails are a bit trashy to me.

So yes, it is at the point when we finally join as one (he usually takes the top at first) that I really can't help but dig my claws into him. Our first time I apologized for doing so after I saw what I did to his back, but he really laughed at me with that beautiful smile of his and kissed me while telling me it was just what he liked.

It's his fault anyway with how he takes me, so fast and hard, that I can't help but scream and dig my nails in, and plus the feel of his back under my hands, it's so wonderful. A good long while after this when we've worked up quite a sweat, he'll ask if I want to have top, and I usually do since I can't get enough of this man and he needs a break.

I let him lay down in my spot and mount him, I really can't tell which position he enjoys the most, because all of them seem to get equal use and approval. He has told me this view is fantastic though, for my breasts and my face contorting in pleasure while riding him, my hands rubbing over his chest and stomach, his hands grasping my hips and thighs or breasts..

Maybe I do know his favorite position though? he does seem to favor doggy-style, and I am very ashamed to admit that I do too. It puts him in a position of complete power and domination, and he being who he is, I could not have ever wanted to be in this position more with anyone else. Vaginal or anal, either is fine, a fact that he has verbally expressed his admiration for to me, since I guess some of his previous women did not enjoy anal at all.

The toys I previously mentioned are not only for use on me, either. If it's a particularly kinky night he will let me be the one in charge. I try to keep on a straight face and play a hard game but on the inside it really kills me, makes me absolutely melt, to have this sexy man under my control. It is mutually rewarding, and I am trying to improve my skills for him in this area, as shy and embarrassed I may be at times. This being the case I have made use of a strap-on many times, the doggy-style position is not reserved for me alone. Till's sexual desire knows no limits.

I have been spanked until my backside was fairly red, though to his fairness he also let me have a turn at this, but during the first time he had to keep telling me to do it harder. Nipple clamps, blindfolds, and candle wax also make an appearance fairly often.

There are times when he returns for the night, and if I am already asleep, he will approach me and take me in the same manner as an intruder would, forceful and in the dark, a bit of roleplay if you want to call it that.

Maybe this is why we are such a good match thus far, I have had fantasies of a man forcing me into pleasure that I 'didn't' want but really did. Only if it were my boyfriend though of course, in which case it is.

I usually watch the show from the front row, with the crowd, because I enjoy the energy and the music and entertainment of it all, but Till has expressed some disapproval of this. It draws his eyes down to the crowd, which he dislikes for one, and for two he doesn't like me being sandwiched in a group of men. Sometimes I do end up watching and listening from behind stage mostly, but I am mostly just amused at the jealousy he can display for me, because I am a nobody and he has a very large female fanbase just dying to get in his jeans, I was one of them.

He does have anger issues, anyone close to him knows that, but we also know what a wonderful person he is and can be. To the public it must look like his life is that of a famous rockstar, and he has said for awhile it was almost like that, enjoying the fame and money and partying, but really in his heart he is a man of nature. Cityscape is alright but natural scenery and landscape, I can see this change in him and look in his eye, the way he admires these sights, it's like it's something comforting to his soul.

So it's a bit of a difficult life at times, the travel and his temper, the physical exhaustion of trying to keep up with him, but I would not give it for anything else in the world because I would have given anything in the world to be where I am today. I admit I do think about who might come after me, even so far as to wondering if Till would miss me while with a new girlfriend? I'm sorry my silly mind leaves me to wonder on these things, but that's life you know. I will enjoy this for however long it lasts, because sometimes I do swear this is simply just a dream I will one day wake up from.


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Till's side...
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I know relationships do not last forever, love can fade just as fast as it can bloom, but so far I have been happy for a long while now. I know I can be difficult to be around sometimes, but this girl now has been a good sport so far. I am a man who needs patience and understanding, and also distance if I feel my anger is too.. what to say? explosive, maybe. I do break things, the whole band and crew knows. This has been upsetting to past loves, it is frightful, but I have not struck a woman and never will. Some of them know this, some of them are still afraid anyway.

It had been awhile since we had the time to spare an afterparty after a show, and for awhile some of us weren't too thrilled with the idea. I'm not getting any younger, I said I was past it, not that they couldn't have a party without me. They've had parties without me before and everything was fine, I don't know what made me attend this one but I am glad I did after all.

I said to myself it's been awhile and if I was going for it I was really going for it, I wanted to see if I still had 'it,' whatever it was. I suppose I did miss the act of trying to charm myself into a woman's pants. There were plenty of women who would throw their body to me at the drop of a hat but I said to myself I needed to see if I still had my skill, and so I found me a woman who seemed to be different from the rest, and she was.

Thankfully for me she was not only the kind of different I needed but her physical qualities were also pleasing. I know I am tall and have also enjoyed tall women in the past, and while this woman was fairly short, her build made me think at first.. "durable" or "thick" and then secondly, with a grin I thought that I wanted to test this durability later in the bedroom.

I had also had enough of blonds at this point, so her dark hair was also a nice change. She told me apparently all the women in her family had the same build, short but thick, generous bust and hips. I smiled and asked jokingly, "Oh, do you have a sister?" with a playful look in my eye, thankfully she laughed and caught my play.

I know jealousy is a sin but just about everything else I do is, and not even just me, the whole world we live in. I also know she only has eyes for me, after I talked her into revealing just how big of a fan she was. She absolutely refused to go into depth for embarrassment but I have met more fanatical fans, so this was somewhat cute. I still can't help my jealousy though, not when I know what that body looks like and what it can do, what I do to it.. if I think about another man doing what I do to her, it is enough to put the nearest breakable object in danger, if I dwell too much.

Thankfully she does help to put me into a peaceful state, the guys have noticed the change and they are thankful, but still after all these years things can still go wrong during a show and still after all these years I will go backstage and find something to break. I think they have taken to supplying the tour with objects specifically for breaking by now, which is somewhat amusing I say why not. That's actually pretty smart as I have broken important objects in the past but not lately.

I am aware of how demanding I am in the bedroom and how draining it can be, but nothing puts a smile on my face like fucking a woman to sleep. It is a satisfied exhaustion, because it is tiring for me too. I am only all too glad that she has been able to keep up thus far, I admit that sometimes I do break it off when my woman will tell me things need to ease up. I am willing to reach a compromise on many things but this is the one thing that I will control how I want it.

I am not entirely dominate though, I do give free reign over my body to see what happens, this is also usually very entertaining and interesting to me. Sex is a wonderful thing, even if it does come with emotional pain or high cost later, it is the one thing I will not quit until I am buried or physically unable. To me sex and pain go hand in hand just as love and pain go hand in hand, myself and pain, it is a relationship that will not die until I am unable to feel anymore, which would also be due to being buried.

I desire physical pain and avoid emotional pain, thankfully my current relationship delivers on both levels, I've peeked at her writing and know that love and relationships do not last, I too hope that if we do come to an end that it will be on good terms. Her being the kind of woman and person she is, I think that could very well be the case, but also on the same hand, it could also be the case why we end up lasting, if it is so. As with all things, only time will tell.

I can only hope her eyes do not find this and though I know she is respectful of my things, while I want to write here of my future plans, I cannot spoil the surprise. As I said I am not getting any younger and this taste of change has been nice, I know eventually my life will slow down and I will take the time for more important things like I've been meaning to. I just want to make more time for sex. No I'm only kidding, if you do end up reading this, love. There are things important to me that you might not know about yet, and we will get to them if we get to them.


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End...
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