Right Kind Of Wrong

I could have sworn it was a good idea at the time, it seemed so right, but now sitting here watching it all unfold in front of was really causing me to rethink everything. I could hear Randy to the far right of me giggling. Simon sat at one side of me stone faced and pouting like he didn't want to be there while Paula sat at the other side of me doing god knows what. I tried to smile politely and answer no when Simon asked for my opinion about what I had just witnessed in front of me.

'Just not right for this competition .........' I watched as the young girl slumped away round the corner towards Ryan.

'Enjoying your first day Kelly?......'

'Is it lunch time yet?........' I could hear Paula giggling beside me.

'It's only been a hour Kelly............it'll start going fast once we get to the good ones........' Simon explained as the next contestant came in.

I quickly zoned out on what was going on around while I retraced my steps back to where I went wrong with it all. My managers had called to say Simon Cowell wanted me for the new season of American Idol. They needed a new younger judge to freshen things up and Simon's choice was me. I first laughed it off as a joke, My album would be released at the end of November right at the end of Auditions meaning I would be on TV at the end of December. The best kind of promotion any singer could ask for the release of her second album. By the time Simon turned on the charm and convinced me I would love being a judge for the fourth season of the show I was signing the contract and preparing for the tour of auditions.

I was soon dragged from my thoughts by the loud scream of the latest contestant in front of me. As I listened to Mariah's newest hit being tortured I had to laugh. It had always annoyed me when I saw Simon laughing at someone trying their best but I was beginning to understand it now. If I didn't laugh I was going to cry by the end of the day.

'I happen to have had singing lessons..........' Simon was writing down a reply for when the angry girl stopped her ranting.

'Do you have a lawyer?........' I rolled my eyes at Simon's casual attitude.

'No.......'

'Well find a lawyer and sue your singing teacher............' I could see the whole crew giggling behind their hands as the girls face crumbled.

'Oh your so mean.........' I whispered the moment the girl turned the corner in tears.

'Yes.......'

'Do you have to be so mean.........'

'You have seen the show?.........it's kind of the point Kelly........'

'But it's so mean......'I complained as the next contestant turned the corner.

'This one looks like a good one...........'Simon's pointed out in a low whisper. I looked down to read the name Carrie Underwood age 21 from Checotah Oklahoma. When I looked up towards her I couldn't agree more with Simon. There was no crazy vibe from her at all.

'So what are you going to sing?........' Paula asked.

'Emm......i can't make you love me........' Carrie answered back nervously. She made me want to reach over the table towards her and give her a hug. Her hands tightly gripping each other as she began to sing. I really tried my best to look professional as I became suddenly aware of all the cameras focused on me but I felt myself melting with her voice. She kept her eyes mainly on Simon like almost all of the contestants did, but every few seconds she would drift to me causing me to small warmly at her. I hoped she would think I was trying to encourage her and not that I was smitten by her that I couldn't help but smile every time she looked at me. Just as quickly as she began she finished, sucking the air out of me as she sent me a nervous look, like she wanted me to approve of her.

'Ok......'Simon stopped her. 'Very good Carrie......'

'Yea.....'Randy agreed.

'Very good Carrie.......' Simon repeated. I could only nod like an idiot in agreement with them both. The next few minutes went by in a blur, Simon spoke, Randy called her dog and Paula tried to talk over Simon but all I could do was stare at her. She was so amazing, her hair skin oh my and her smile. The whole room lit up when she did it causing me to smile too. She was to busy with Simon to notice me so I could easily let my eyes scan over her closely, while still making sure the cameras didn't catch the longing looks I knew I was giving her.

'Kelly?.......' My eyes snapped towards Randy.

'Ehhh.......yes?........'

'That a yes for Carrie Kelly?........'Simon was smiling like an idiot like he knew exactly what was going through my mind.

'Emm.......yea..........yes......'I recovered enough to give Carrie one last smile before she was out the door screaming to who ever was waiting for her.

'There's rules about that..........'I could feel Simon leaning into me while he tried not to let any one else hear. I hated that Simon knew I was gay. One of the many rules of Idol was that Simon had to know any dark secrets contestants had in case it came out, he had to know what he was dealing with. He had kept my secret, not even telling Randy and Paula but he took every opportunity to tease me about it.

'I have no idea what your talking about........'

'Kelly I fall for every little brunette that comes in here............Just remember your a judge now.......Can't run around being in love with one of the contestants........' The cocky smile reappeared on his face. He had also known about my little relationship with Justin during season one, my last ditch attempt at trying to be straight.

'I really have no idea what your talking about.........' I looked ahead of me seeing yet another person standing in front of us. I shock the last images of Carrie out of my mind as I concentrated on the person murdering yet another Mariah song.