Bless Me Father

Chapter Ten

"So...you want to...burn down a church?" Paul spoke up slowly, his voice catching on the last few words- they'd sounded perplexing rolling off his tongue. The inclanation was like a gunshot hitting me. Could I really do that? Foresake all I knew of the word morality- for him? I'd always considered myself an average everyday sort of anarchist- and this task, well it simply went far beyond the relm of what was average. Sure it was illegal, maybe even alittle sacreligious, but it was neccisary. For the well being of someone as deserving as joel, it was very neccisary. I didn't need to understand the reasons why I felt compelled to protect him- it no longer mattered to me. Because regardless of how he'd managed to break down my walls- he had. And now I cared far too much for him to let such an unspeakable act continue. I'd been brought into his life by chance, but now my purpose was clear. Between dirty needles and sleepless nights my life had fallen between the cracks- and now I could redeem myself.
"It sounds crazy doesnt it?" I asked him in return. The two of us sat cross legged in the living room floor, a mess of tin foil squares sprawled out in between us. Paul was alittle partial to smoking smack, I found it to be the best time to approach him with devious plots. Smoking the drugs differs in comparrison to injecting it- in that it alters the effects it has on you. And for Paul? It was like smoking insitgation. Need to start a fight, steal a car, or burn down a church? Give Paulie some tinfoil and a BIC lighter and he'll be there screaming for more violence. So it's obviosu why I would encorperate him into it all.
"It sounds like we're going to need some gasoline." Came his amused reply- I could tell the idea had sparked his interests. A smile creeped over my lips imediatly knowing I'd have his help. Initially I hadn't thought arson to be an option, but I realized how deep this was getting. I was telling this boy that I loved him- I couldnt risk having him walk away. There for talking, was out of the question. I couldn't show my face around that scumbag pirest or Joel would find out- so I opted for something alittle less obvious. One way or another I was going to fix this problem.
"Yeah. I got a good idea for that though." I told him assuringly, like I'd put alot more thought in it than he himself. And I had, to me this wasn't just a joke I knew exactly how to do what I needed to do. "But you'll help me right?" I asked him as if to seal the deal. Not that I more than likely couldn't of completed the task on my own- it's just I knew two could do a better job than one. And paul was the bigger of my two crackhead companions.
"Hell yeah..is Chris coming too?"
"No. Just us. And dont tell him I dont want everyone of you two's fucked up friends knowing what we do." I warned him- and it was true. Chris had this undesirable quality to him- this compulsive drug induced habbit of telling too much to too many people. I liked the guy- he just couldn't be trusted with confidential information. But Paul already understood that.
"Okay. Deal. When should we go?" The timing I knew would have to be perfect, nothing could go wrong or it would cost me everything. Not that I had so much to lose. Which made the stakes even higher. Looking down at my watch I tried my best to focus in on it's tiny face.
"In a few minutes. It's almost three. I'm gonna go grab my shoes, why dont you go see if you can find some empty beer bottles..we're gonna need them." I told him rather matter of fact like as I slowly tried to stand myself up off the floor. In my head I'd done this a million times- how hard could it be? But on the street that early morning my stomach was nearly upset due to nerves. There was so much riding on this- so much to be nervous of. But my main concern of coarse being whether or not this would do the trick, if it would make it all okay again for him. I knew the money issue would be the first thing out of Joel's mouth, so selfless the boy was. Always putting his family first. And I'd taken that into consideration- the money issue, the short black crowbar in my hand being the part to take care of that. I'd planned it all to a T, to completely fix the hole for him. I may not of been such a good person, and my life may of been a joke, but that didn't mean that Joel's had to end up that way too. If that sick father rivers was allowed to keep doing what he'd been doing, there was no telling what it would do to Joel's life. Or more importantly, his metal health.
"He hits Joel." I muttered out loud randomly, as if trying to justify what was about to be done. Sure I could only assume the marks had been caused by him- seeing as how Joel refused to talk about it, but to me that seemed to be the best assumption.
I could hear Paul scowl slightly at the motion of such a bad action. Paul himself had a personal demon when it came to abuse- coming from an abusive home himself.
"He hits him?" He repeated to me as if needing clarification on the subject, and after I shook my head a few times I could see a deep frown crease on his face. "You're right- this sick fuck had this coming." He added, confirming my own personal opinions about it.
"I've said this all along. He isn't going to hurt him anymore."