Aberrance

I'm finally caught up with posting all that I have written so far. Unfortunately, that means that updates from now on will be farther apart. I'm almost done with chapter 11 so that will be posted soon but after that it's anyone's guess when this will be updated. I'll try to do a chapter a week but sometimes my writer's block gets in the way of that. It saddens me a little, but I think this fic will be coming to a close soon. There's only a few more things I need to churn out and then it will be done. Thank you to everyone who has kept up with the fic and I hope you enjoy this chapter!


Jae sighed to herself as she waited for Tristan to join her out by the pond in their backyard. The band had to do sound check for the show tonight, giving Jae some alone time. She decided it would be best to tell Tristan about Hitomi's pregnancy now before he found out from someone else. Not that she thought the guys would do that, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Besides, she'd rather Tristan hear it from her. As if on que, Tristan came walking through the backyard carrying two glasses of iced tea. He sat down across the table from his mother. Glancing out across the pond, a smile formed on his face.

"It's been such a long time since we've come out here. I'd forgotten how peaceful it is."

Jae's face contorted into a grimace. "Tristan...there's something I have to tell you. You're not going to like it but I want you to hear it from me. This morning Kyo's girlfriend, Hitomi, informed us that she's pregnant. Her and Kyo are having a baby." Jae watched as Tristan's eyes widened before he bowed his head and stared into his lap. She moved her chair closer to him and gently took one of his hands in her own while the other hand rubbed his back and shoulders. When he looked back up at her, his expression was blank.

"Happiness wasn't meant for me."

*******FLASHBACK*********

Jae sat in front of Tooru surveying the damage caused by his father. There were bruises scattered haphazardly on his small frame. His face was bloody but she couldn't tell if the blood was coming from his mouth or his nose, perhaps it was both. Shaking her head, she got up and went to the bathroom, returning moments later with some towels and other items to clean him up with. Sitting down in front of him again, she set about her work, wiping the blood from his face gently with a wet towel. She lost count of the number of times she'd done this since meeting him three years prior. As Tooru got older the beatings had gotten progressively worse. As much as she wanted to tell her parents, he had made her promise she wouldn't speak a word about it to anyone. She would never break a promise, especially not one she made to Tooru. Once she decided she had done a sufficient job cleaning him up, she slumped down onto the floor by his side. He turned to look at her with distant, lifeless eyes.

"Happiness wasn't meant for me Jae" he murmured quietly.

********END FLASHBACK********

Tristan watched his mother as she was lost in thought again. She turned her gaze back to him. He fidgeted nervously before his eyes hardened. "I knew this would happen. I don't know why I gave myself false hope."

He was trying so hard to act like it didn't faze him even though he was well aware his mother knew otherwise. He was just so damn tired of feeling weak and on edge. Part of him wished that when his mother found out that she would have told Hitomi that Kyo already has a family and doesn't need a second one, then sent her packing. But this was reality, and it was a cold-hearted bitch. This kid didn't know how well they had it. It would have the life and the love of a father that Tristan had been denied. He furiously wiped away his bitter tears. He hated crying, it made him feel pathetic. Lately that seemed to be all he was doing. Suddenly his frustration got to him and he let out a gutteral scream.

Jae nearly fell out of her chair. If she didn't know better she would've sworn that was Kyo sitting next to her. She watched as Tristan clenched and unclenched his jaw, his hands balling into fists and he quietly fought to keep his emotions in check. Jae's cell phone rining startled them both. She glanced at the caller ID before answering. Kaoru. "Hey how is sound check going?"

"We're finally done. Did you get a chance to talk to Tristan?"

"Yeah..."

Kaoru sighed. "I'm sorry this is so fucked up."

"You don't need to apologize to me Kao, none of this is your fault."

Tristan perked up. "Mom, can I talk to Kao?"

Jae nodded. "Tristan wants to talk to you." She handed him the phone.

"Hi Kao."

"Hey buddy, how you holdin up?"

"Deep down I knew something like this was going to happen but it still hurts like hell" he replied honestly.

"I'm so sorry Tristan. I can't even imagine how you must feel."

"I don't feel much of anything actually. I'm numb."

Kaoru fell silent, not knowing what to say to comfort the boy, if anything even could. Tristan could hear someone talking to Kaoru in the background and he soon recognized the voice to be Kyo's. "Kao...is that my d...dad?"

"Yeah...um...did you want to say hi to him or something?"

Tristan swallowed the lump in his throat. "Y...yeah I think I do" he whispered.

After a couple of minutes of talking and shuffling Tristan heard his father's voice speaking to him. "Hey Tristan, how's it going?"

"F...fine Kyo, how are you?"

Jae's head snapped up, her eyes wide. He reached out and took his mother's hand, squeezing it in a deathgrip.

"Y...yeah...I...I'm really looking forward to the sh..show tonight." Godamnit, stop stuttering, idiot! Tristan curled up into a ball on the chair.

Kaoru watched as Kyo smiled and laughed genuinely while talking to Tristan. God if you only knew Kyo.

"Do you want to talk to Mom?"

"Yeah sure."

Tristan handed Jae the phone before curling up next to her and resting his head on her shoulder, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. She slid her arm around him and gave him a gentle squeeze. "Hey hun, did sound check go okay?"

"Yeah you guys have a really nice set up here. It didn't take us long at all to finish. Hey Jae...do you think I could meet Tristan tonight? I mean officially, face to face. It bothers me that I don't know my own best friend's son."

Jae forced her doubts and insecurities away and tried to answer as calmly as possible. "Of course you can meet him tonight. He was planning on watching the show with me anyway." Tristan's head snapped up, eyes wide. She patted his knee reassuringly. "He was just going to take a shower then we'll be there. Oh..and Kyo..if I don't see you beforehand, good luck with the show tonight."

"Thanks Jae, here's Kao."

"Hey baby, did I just hear that Kyo is going to meet Tristan?"

Jae heaved a sigh. "Yeah...but I'm going to wait until after the show. I think that would be best."

"I agree. I hope this all works out well Jae, I really do. Ah...duty calls, I'll see you later tonight ok love?"

"Yup, tell everyone I said good luck with the show. Bye Kao."

"Bye Jae."

Jae hung up the phone and smiled at Tristan. "You better go get your shower now." He nodded and got up to leave, his movements shaky. "Tristan don't get worked up over this. I'll be right there with you the whole time. Everything will be fine." He offered a small smile and nodded again before turning and making his way into the house. Please let everything be fine.

Jae and Tristan walked into the Lotus, both inwardly relieved that they didn't see any of the band right away. Glancing around, Jae spotted Axelle and Hitomi sitting together at one of the tables. Once Axelle saw her, she got up heading in their direction. "You are my savior!" she exclaimed while pulling Jae into a hug.

Jae chuckled as she returned the hug. "Aww what's the matter Axelle? Don't you like Hitomi?" she said, sarcasm dripping from every word.

"Not at all, how'd you guess?"

Jae shrugged. "Not many people do." Tristan watched the two women curiously. His mother turned to him and then back to Axelle. "There's someone I'd like you to meet, Axelle. This is my son Tristan."

Tristan offered the woman a small smile and bowed. "It's nice to meet you Axelle."

Axelle gaped at the boy standing in front of her. He reminded her so much of a younger Kyo. Remembering her manners, she blushed a little. "I'm sorry Tristan, I didn't mean to stare...but..."she trailed off.

"...I look so much like Kyo?" he finished for her. "I know, I get that a lot. It's okay."

She blinked, shaking her head a little. "It was rude of me nonetheless. Please forgive me. It's nice to meet you as well." She smiled at the boy before turning to Jae. "Is he.."

"Yes, Kyo is his father." Jae bowed her head a little. "Kyo doesn't know, please don't mention it." When she looked back up, Axelle noticed the pained look on her face, making her regret having brought it up at all. "I'll tell you the story later, when we have more time" she added quietly.

Axelle hugged Jae and then looked at Tristan before pulling him into a hug too. "I hope one day you can all be a family" she whispered to them.

Tristan was the first to pull back. "I'm going to get something to drink, would you two like anything?" He departed after both women shook their heads. He didn't get far before he was stopped by a woman he didn't recognize.

"You must be Tristan" she drawled out in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"And you are?" he asked, raising a brow.

"Your father's girlfriend, Hitomi."

Tristan's eyes widened. "How do you know he's my father?" he all but demanded.

"It's not that difficult to figure out. I do have eyes you know." A malicious smile appeared on her face. "I'm assuming you know I'm carrying his child? I just wanted to tell you that me and the baby are his family, not you and your American whore of a mother. He's going to despise you both once he finds out you've been lying to him all these years. You'll be nothing more to him than a bastard child, a mistake" she sneered. Her smugness faltered when she realized the boy wasn't cowering in fear at the harshness of her words. In fact, he was doing the complete opposite. When she looked into his eyes she felt as though she were staring into the cold eyes of Kyo, the determination she saw burning there causing her to take a step back. He narrowed his eyes at her and when he spoke his voice was eerily even and calm.

"You know Hitomi, for someone who seems so sure of herself you certainly are forthright in displaying your insecurities, what with all the name calling. You don't know the first thing about this situation so I suggest you shutup and pay attention. My father loves my mother more than he's ever loved anyone in his entire life, more than you could ever hope that he would love you. Once he finds out about me, we will be a family because this is where Kyo belongs, with us. If you can't see that then you're a godamn fool. Oh and by the way, my mother isn't a whore. If you'd like to see a whore, I suggest you take a long hard look in the mirror." Having said his piece, he brushed past her, heading for the stairs that led to his mother's office. Hitomi stared after him, clearly shell-shocked.

Jae had watched the exchange from her seat at the bar. She glared in Hitomi's direction and made a move to get up but was stopped by a gentle hand on her arm.

"She's not worth it Jae. Tristan needs you more than Hitomi deserves whatever it was you were going to say" Axelle said quietly. Jae's face softened and she nodded solemnly, slowly rising from her chair. She hadn't made it that far from the table when Kyo and Die appeared in front of them. Kyo grinned.

"Hey you two, we have some time left before the show so we thought..." Kyo trailed off as he took in the stricken expression on Jae's face. "What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"Do me a favor and keep your fucking bitch of a girlfriend the hell away from my son" she growled out, stalking past him towards the staircase, not even sparing him a glance.

Kyo looked after her sadly before turning back to Axelle, his face a mixture of confusion and concern. "What the hell was that about?"