Baby Can I Hold You

Kelly sat at Paul's desk, she had started three letters but quickly tore them up, none of them saying what she wanted. She wanted him to know exactly what he had done to her over the years they had been together, but she didn't know if he would accept it as the truth. He was always good at turning things around and making them her fault. By her fourth attempt she knew exactly what she wanted to say, the words were flowing from her onto the paper as she explained in detail what she really thought about him. It felt good to finally say everything she wanted, tell him every bad thing he had done to her and what it had made her feel at the time. With minutes she had filled the page and had to get another one, she wondered what he would do when he got home. Would he go looking for her, call her mother, Ashley?. Ashley would be the first one her would call, he knows Kelly would hide with her first. She would have to call Ashley and let her know she was OK her friend would worry getting a call from Paul.



She finished the letter by telling him she would take care of Elle and not to worry about her, she decided to leave the PS from Carrie out. Hearing the door slam shut she knew Carrie was back with Elle, knowing the child wouldn't want to get out the car she left the note sitting on his desk she made her way downstairs.



' Let's get going, I've left him a note so.....' Kelly stopped dead in her tracks at the bottom of the stairs, instead of finding Carrie waiting for her she saw Paul in front of her.



'And where are you going?' Paul stood in front of the door blocking her exit.



'oh..... Well Carrie and I were taking Elle to the park. Elle wanted to go to the park. ' Kelly tried her best to sound normal, if he suspected anything there' no way he would let her near the front door.



'She's not gone yet......I told you to make her go Kelly.' Paul walked towards her causing Kelly to walk backwards up the stairs.



'She's going..... Paul I promise she's going........Elle just wanted to show her the park first.' Kelly continued up the stairs till she was at the top, Paul was standing in the middle of them looking up at her.



'Why are you so jumpy then?' He climbed up two more steps.



' I'm not you just scared me that's all.' Paul finally got to the top walking past Kelly till he was in his office.



'Where's Elle?' His voice was normal again the anger gone.



' Eh she's away to buy a ball..... she wants to play Football with Carrie....... Carrie told her she used to be in a team so Elle wants to try it. Kelly was surprised at how easy it was to lie to Paul, she had never done it before. To afraid of what he would do if he caught her, but now she felt that freedom was near, her fear of him wasn't so intense.



' Yeah well no offence but I really don't want your dyke of a friend teaching my kid how to be one.....So leave the ball at home OK?'



'OK' Kelly stood at the top of the stairs waiting for Paul to give his next demand, Carrie would be there soon, she would see Paul's car and she would be careful. Kelly could signal her to go along with what she says and Paul will let them go to the park, instead they would be on the highway to where ever Carrie had planned.



'So your going to the park with Carrie, then she leaves and we get back to normal' Paul was standing beside her again.



' Yes, she'll say goodbye at the park..... you wont have to see her again... I promise.' Kelly wasn't lying now he wouldn't see her again. He wouldn't see any of them again. She looked towards the door, Carrie would be there any minute. She's most likely in the drive, trying to get Elle out the car.



'Your good friends with her...... Carrie I mean.' Kelly nodded, glancing back at the door, any minute now she would be here. ' And it doesn't freak you out that she's gay?' Paul stood against the wall like she was having small talk about the weather.



' No....she's my friend.' Paul nodded smiling.



' she ever tried anything.....before you and I got together?' Kelly turned away from the door to look at him.



' No Paul.......Carrie knows I'm straight.......and married.' Kelly held up her wedding ring showing him. He laughed, Kelly hadn't heard him laugh for years.



' I remember.....I was at the wedding.' Kelly couldn't understand, he was being so calm and nice, they hadn't talked like this since before they married. She looked at the door again, any minute now. She moved towards the stairs standing on the edge, Paul moved too.



'You talk a lot' Paul turned his head to the side waiting for her to answer.



'who?..... me and Carrie?' Paul nodded. ' Yeah we talk.....we're friends.' Kelly turned to the door again, Carrie had to be in the drive now the park was only five minutes away.



' Do you tell her how I make your skin crawl when I touch you, even when I'm gentle, Do you tell her how you wish I would die in a car crash on my way home from work?' Kelly turned to look at Paul, she remembered the letter. He was Quoting her letter. ' Or what about letting her know you love her.....Do you tell her that.' Paul held up the letting pushing it into Kelly's face.



Kelly tried to run down the stairs but Paul was too fast, grabbing her arm he pulled her back up. She fell to her knees trying to get away from him but he was too strong. Pulling her into the bedroom throwing her against the wardrobe door. Kelly tried to scream but he was too fast, Hitting her first on the face, she tasted blood.



Carrie would be there in a minute,She had to be in the drive now.





' And I want to learn to swim in real water not a pool. Mommy hates the sea so I've never did it, but I can now cause you'll take me.... right aunt Carrie?' Carrie looked into her mirror seeing Big beautiful eyes looking back at her. She looked just like Kelly, it made her heart melt.



' Sure baby.... I'll teach you..might even get mommy in the sea too.' They had spent a little too much time at the park. Elle wanted to show Carrie how she could do everything by herself.



'Will you be good to mommy aunt Carrie?' Carrie turned around looking Elle quickly.



' I sure will baby.... you too..... I'll take good care of both of you..... I promise.' Carrie wanted Elle to believe her, she needed the little girl to trust her.



'That's good.......Mommy needs good things.....Lot's of kisses and cuddles..... Mommy loves cuddles......she says im the best at them'



'I'm sure you are baby.' Carrie turned the corner into Kelly's street, the first thing that caught her eyes was a blue light flashing. Her heart sank as she got nearer seeing two police cars outside Kelly's house. The drive was full of police officers. She had to stay calm she couldn't frighten Elle. Stepping out the car leaving Elle inside she made her way to the first officer.



'Kelly?......where is she.' The officers recognized her right away.



'Miss Underwood..... Kelly's been taken away to the hospital.....there was an accident.' the officer spoke calmly and slowly for Carrie. She knew what had happened, she knew Paul got home early. 'There must have been a break in..... Miss Clarksons husband found her...... she was unconscious when he arrived........He's with her at the hospital now.' Carrie shook her head, she tried not to cry. walking backwards to the car Carrie kept her eyes on the officer. His lips where moving but she wasn't hearing him. All she knew was that Kelly was hurt and Paul was with her, she needed to get to the hospital. Tell them who was to blame for this.



Carrie tried her best to answer Elle's questions, she wasn't used to kids, she didn't know what she could tell her and what was too grown up for her to hear. By the time they got to the hospital Elle had got bored asking and stayed silent. Holding her little hand in her own Carrie ran towards the main entrance, there was police already there all in a circle talking.



'Officer...Officer.' Everyone in the place turned to look at Carrie but she didn't care. 'Kelly Clarkson....where is she.... I need to see her now.' Carrie was beginning to lose it, she could feel the tears in her eyes. Her hand was being squeezed by Elle's who was crying herself.



'My baby.....Elle baby come here.' Paul was standing in the distance arms stretched out. He was crying also, big heavy tears running down his face. Carrie pulled Elle closer to her, she knew he had hurt Kelly he wasn't going to hurt her too.



' Carrie.....god Carrie it's so bad.......I got home..sh..she was at the bottom of the stairs.....They say someone pushed her......someone pushed my baby' If Carrie didn't know any better she would think he was telling the truth. His tears were real. Carrie reached down picking up Elle holding the child close to her. Elle wrapped her arms around Carrie's neck.



'I want to see her..... I want to see Kelly now.' The officer looked towards Paul who nodded in agreement. Paul went to take Elle from Carrie but the blond shook her head. 'She's coming with me.....Your not getting her.' Carrie held onto Elle tight, the little girl returned the hug, gripping onto Carrie's neck. A small older nurse stepped forward putting a warm hand on Carrie.



' It's best the little girl doesn't see her mom like this....... I can take her......get her a toy to play with.' Carrie looked at the nurse, she seemed gentle, trust worthy. Whispering something in Elle's ear the little girl nodded lifting her head to look at the nurse too.



'OK... OK....' Carrie handed over elle to the nurse. Wiping her eyes she looked back towards Paul and the officers. I'm going to see Kelly then we need to talk.......Paul don't follow Elle.' Carrie's voice was strong.



'I'll be here' He was still crying acting every bit the worried husband.



The older nurse held onto Elle while she showed Carrie where to go.



'Her dad......He's not good, don't let him take her please.' The tears were back as Carrie pleaded with the nurse to protect Elle.



'She'll be with me till you get back.....I promise I wont leave her.' Carrie trusted the nurse, she was gentle.



Carrie stood outside the room door, she could hear machines before she even entered. Closing the door behind her she made her way towards the bed.



What she saw brought her to her knee's, Blood and bruises covered every part she could see of Kelly. Picking herself up from the ground she hold onto the side bar of the bed, helping her from falling again. It didn't look like Kelly but she knew it was her. Too afraid to touch her but wanting to feel her Carrie found the only thing that wasn't bruised. Taking Kelly's pinky finger in her hand she gentle stroked it, trying her hardest to give Kelly some kind of comfort. With the breathing machine the only noise in the room Carrie finally let herself fall apart, she promise herself when she left that room she would be strong. Strong enough to stand up to Paul, she would do what Kelly couldn't.