Aberrance

Axelle heaved a sigh and looked to Die for help. He shrugged apologetically before moving to stand behind her, his arms sliding around her waist. "We couldn't hear what was being said, but Hitomi stopped Tristan on his way to get a drink and they exchanged words. When Tristan left he looked really upset."

Kyo rubbed his face before glancing in Hitomi's direction. "How the hell would she even know Tristan?"

Axelle swallowed nervously as she felt Die's arms tighten around her waist. "I don't know Kyo." She wished that she could just yell out 'He's your son, you idiot!' but that would do more harm than good. She rested her hands on top of Die's.

Kyo glanced towards the staircase again. "I should go up there and apologize." He pivoted on his heel and started walking towards the stairs.

"Kyo, wait!" Die yelled.

He stopped and turned to look at Die quizically. "What is it?"

"Maybe you should just give him some time to cool off. If he's pissed I doubt he wants anyone around trying to apologize to him, especially when that apology isn't yours to give Kyo. Hitomi is the one who fucked up, she should be the one to apologize. Just let Jae handle it. She's his mother, she knows what to do."

"But...I want to help..." he said mournfully, casting a longing glance towards the stairs.

Die walked up and slid a sympathetic arm around Kyo's shoulders. "You know what would help? If we put on one hell of an amazing show tonight. I bet that would make Tristan happy again."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah...yeah I do. Everything will be fine Kyo, you'll see." Kyo nodded solemnly before departing. Die felt bad about keeping Kyo from his son but when Kaoru told the rest of them that the two would be meeting tonight he said Jae felt it would be best to wait until after the show. Sighing, he walked back over and pulled Axelle into a hug, leaning down to rest his forehead on her shoulder.

She slowly rubbed his back. "Don't worry baby, like you said, everything will be fine."

He turned and buried his face in her neck. "Will it? I wanted to tell him the truth about Tristan so badly, I hate seeing him like this. Hell, I hate seeing all of them like this, they're miserable!"

"I know sweetie, I feel the same way. But it's not our place. We have to let Jae handle this. The only thing we can do is be here for them."

Tristan had just finished rehashing the entire Hitomi encounter to Jae. To say she was seething would have been an understatement. She couldn't believe Hitomi had stooped so low as to personally attack Tristan that way. She did, however, gain some satisfaction when Tristan told her what his response was. He was justified in what he said and she certainly wasn't going to make him apologize for it, especially not to the likes of Hitomi.

"Mom, she knows. What if she tells Kyo?"

"Then she tells him. There won't be anything we can do about that. I don't want you to worry about it tonight. Just have fun and enjoy the show. Your father seems pretty excited about it."

"I'm excited too. I'm finally going to get to see Dir en grey live!"

She smiled at his lightened mood. "Do you think you could run downstairs before the show and pick up some paperwork for me? Jiro should have it behind the bar. If I were you, I'd come back through the backstage area, it sounds like quite a crowd has gathered out there already." Tristan nodded and gave Jae a quick hug before leaving.

Kyo sighed for what seemed like the hundreth time in the past fifteen minutes. Kaoru raised a brow at him. "What's wrong with you?"

"Apparently Hitomi and Tristan had some kind of altercation."

"What?" Kaoru asked venomously. He felt a protective, almost fatherly nature towards the boy. He wasn't trying to replace his real father, but felt that he should stick up for Tristan in the event that Kyo had no idea that should actually be his job.

"No one really knows what was said besides those two. I have no desire to see Hitomi right now, let alone speak to her, and Jae and Tristan are holed up in her office. I tried to go up there but both Die and Axelle somehow managed to convince me otherwise." Kaoru let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. Thanks guys, I owe you one.

"Speaking of Hitomi..." Kaoru jerked his head in her direction and Kyo groaned. "Go see Jae, maybe you can make her feel better, if nothing else. After all, you are her best friend, aren't you?"

"Yeah...yeah I am. Thanks Kao." Kyo smiled and Kaoru smirked before turning him in the direction of the door and patting him on the back. He had to supress a chuckle as he watched Kyo dart out of the room to avoid being seen by Hitomi. He grabbed his cell phone to call Jae and let her know Kyo was on his way.

Kyo composed himself before knocking softly on Jae's office door.

"Come in" she said.

He walked in and glanced around. "Where's Tristan?" he asked softly as he shut the door behind himself.

"He's running some errands for me before the show. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable." She was currently engrossed in some paperwork and had yet to look up and acknowledge him. He was somewhat hurt by her dismissive behavior and hoped she wasn't still mad at him. His fears faded when she looked up and regarded him with a smile. "Sorry about that. I wanted to get it finished before Tristan comes back with my next stack of seemingly never-ending paperwork." He smirked then his face fell as he remembered why he had come up here. Jae's brows knitted together in concern. "What's wrong?"

He moved around and sat next to her on the edge of her desk. "What happened between Tristan and Hitomi?"

She turned in her chair a little, the arm currently on the armrest bending upward so she could cradle her head in her hand. She drew in a ragged breath. Kyo instinctively closed the remaining distance between them by pulling her into an ackward half hug, given their current height difference. Her head was now resting barely above his hip. "Hitomi said some hurtful things to Tristan."

Kyo supressed a shudder as Jae's breath ghosted over his slightly exposed lower stomach. "What kind of things?" He cursed himself when his voice came out husky and slightly laced with arousal. Jae's hand came up to rest on his bare hip, her fingers absentmindedly stroking the curve of his hip bone. He was so wrapped up in his body's reaction to her touch that he barely heard her request for them to move to the couch.They sat down on the couch, no longer touching, and Kyo noticed his body seemed to mourn the loss of her deft fingers. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"She called me a whore." She felt Kyo tense up and patted his leg. "Let me finish." She watched as his tattooed hand moved to cover her own. "I don't particularly care about that. I've grown accustomed to it over the years as I've heard numerous mothers say that very same thing when they thought I was out of earshot. I'm a big girl and I don't care what people say about me. However, I won't tolerate people telling my son that he's a bastard and a mistake."

Kyo's grip on her hand tightened. "Hitomi told him that?"

"Yes. I'll have you know that even though he was unplanned, I've never viewed him as a mistake." How could I? He's a part of you, of us, of what could have been. He's my connection to you. My lifeline.

She could feel Kyo's muscles tensing. "I'll be sure to say something to Hitomi. I'm so sorry Jae, I never expected her to do something like that." He pulled her hand up and kissed it.

"Unfortunately that apology isn't yours to give Kyo. As it stands, I don't think Tristan cares much about an apology from her. He's a tough kid and believe me when I say that I'm sure Hitomi wasn't expecting him to turn it back on her the way he did."

Kyo chuckled. "So he gave her a taste of her own medicine huh?"

Jae smiled in response. "Yeah he sure did."

"Good for him. Maybe that will teach her to think before she opens her mouth."

"So you're not angry with him?"

"Hell no. It's what she deserves for being so cruel."

She turned her head so she could look up at him. "I do have something to apologize for though."

He looked down at her with a raised brow. "What's that?"

"I shouldn't have snapped at you earlier. I was mad at Hitomi, not you, so I apologize." She placed a small kiss on his shoulder. Kyo waved his hand dismissively.

"Now that I know you're really not pissed at me it doesn't matter." He stroked her cheek with his thumb before closing the short distance between them by kissing her full on the mouth. When he broke the kiss, he barely pulled away, their lips still touching. "Come here" he whispered seductively before pulling her onto his lap. He kissed her hungrily while he slid her suit jacket off and let it fall to the floor. His hands roamed her body, tracing every curve. She broke the kiss to trail kisses along his jaw, moving downward to suck on his neck. He groaned softly, his fingers lacing into her hair. She bit down at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, then slid her tonge out to gently lap at the spot. Kyo shuddered and made a noise in the back of his throat. "Oh God that feels so good Jae, you feel so good." As if to prove his point, he grabbed her and pulled her flush against him. Her hands slid under his shirt and over his abs, reveling the feel of tight muscles. Fire coursed through his veins, elicited by Jae's touch. Her fingertips ghosted over the roughness of scratches and she visibly winced. He kissed her deeply to silence the question he knew she would ask. He didn't want to talk now, he just wanted to remain in this torturous embrace for as long as he could. His lips moved down to kiss the top of her breasts that were peeking out of her tank top. She moaned softly and rocked her hips against him. He groaned and grabbed ahold of her hips grinding her harder against his stiff cock. He was in the middle of assaulting her neck with kisses when her voice interrupted him.

"Kyo...we can't do this" she said breathlessly. He sat up straight and looked at her, eyes heavy with lust. She sighed and moved to get off of him but his strong hands held on to her waist tightly to prevent her from moving. She turned back and fixed him with an exasperated look. "Kyo you know we can't. I don't want to hurt Kaoru and I know deep down you don't want to hurt Hitomi. We have more to think about than just ourselves here."

Kyo dejectedly let his hands fall to his sides. "I know. I just feel so empty when we're apart. You're like a drug to me and I can never get enough of you." Jae's expression softened and she leaned forward to hug him, her arms wrapping themselves around his neck. He returned the gesture, holding onto her tightly. When she moved to get up this time he let her.

Her eyes landed on his very obvious arousal and she gave him an apologetic look and motioned towards the bathroom. "You can use that if you want to." He followed the direction of her gaze to his crotch and looked back up at her before nodding and moving to the bathroom, shutting the door softly behind him. After a few minutes he emerged looking slightly flushed but otherwise no worse for wear.

"The show starts in about twenty minutes. You should probably start heading back. You can use that side door, it will take you through the back hallways to the backstage area." Kyo nodded and moved towards her first, giving her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek before departing silently.

Tristan was rushing through the hallway trying to put his mother's paperwork into some semblance of order. He was so caught up in his task he didn't hear the footsteps coming from around the corner in the other hallway. Kyo was lost in thought, slowly making his way backstage. His head was down as he rounded the corner and was abruptly slammed into, a flurry of papers and two bodies hitting the floor.

Tristan was hastily picking up papers around himself. "I'm so sorry...I wasn't watching..." his voice trailed off as he noticed movement from the other person and looked up to see none other than Kyo. "...where I was going" he finished slowly.

Kyo stood up and began picking up the papers that had fallen around him. "It's ok..." he said as he picked up the last paper and looked up to hand them to their owner. He was shocked to see a young boy who looked so much like himself staring back at him wide-eyed. "...I wasn't paying attention either." They stood staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

Tristan finally snapped out of it and took the papers that Kyo still held out to him. "Thank you" he said quietly, before shifting uncomfortably and casting his gaze to the floor. Kyo studied him, the few conversations he and Jae had about Tristan playing over in his head. After everything pieced together, he couldn't believe he didn't figure it out before.

"You're Tristan, aren't you?" The boy's head snapped up and he swallowed before nodding, not trusting his voice. He had so many plans for what he would say to this father when they finally met, but now he couldn't recall any of it and was resigned to stare at him, dumbfounded. Kyo watched as an array of emotions passed across Tristan's features. He didn't know what to say to him, hell he couldn't even form a coherent thought. Happiness and guilt washed over him like waves crashing on the shore.

"I should get these to Mom" Tristan said quietly. He started to move around Kyo and just as he was almost past him, an arm shot out to grab his own.

"Wait!"

Tristan turned around wide-eyed. Kyo looked up at him. "You're going to watch the show tonight right?"

He nodded rapidly. "I wouldn't miss it for the world.."he trailed off as though he wanted to say something else but decided against it at the last minute. Kyo nodded and smiled a bit, retracting his arm as if sensing the boy's wish to flee. He couldn't be certain but he could've sworn that he heard Tristan whisper 'Dad' as he was walking down the hallway. Kyo remained rooted to the spot, watching Tristan's retreating back until he was out of sight.

Everyone was bustling about the dressing room and didn't notice Kyo come in, save for Kaoru. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Kyo's expression was blank but if one looked closely they would clearly be able to see the vast array of emotions reflected in his eyes. "I have a son, Kao. Tristan, you know, Jae's son? He's also mine. I literally ran into him in the hallway. Kaoru blanched and remained silent, sensing Kyo wasn't done speaking. "I want to sing -mushi- tonight. Can we replace it with another song or add it to the setlist?"

Kaoru's hand moved up and gave Kyo's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "We can replace it with GARBAGE. I'll notify everyone else of the change." Kaoru gathered the other three men together in another corner of the room, away from Kyo. "There's a slight change. We're going to be replacing GARBAGE with -mushi- tonight."

Die quirked a brow. "Why? We hardly ever play that song anymore."

"Kyo met Tristan a few minutes ago by accident. He knows. He's the one who approached me and asked to change the setlist." All eyes widened and whispers could be heard amongst the huddle. Kyo moved about the dressing room mechanically, unaware of the four sets of eyes watching him with a mixture of concern and worry.