Aberrance

Note: Sorry it took so long guys! I'm amazed at myself though. I managed to finish this chapter in the matter of a few hours. Normally it will take me days, sometimes weeks to finish a chapter. Also, I was listening to Disappoint by Assemblage 23 on repeat while I wrote this. I suggest you guys listen to it or at least look up the lyrics to the song so you can get the feeling I was trying to portray in this chapter. Hope you enjoy it!


The side door of Jae's office swung open and Tristan walked in looking like he had just seen a ghost. Jae was immediately at his side.

"Tristan what's wrong?"

"I ran into Dad in the hallway" he replied gently, wearing a vacant expression.

Jae's eyes widened. "How did that go?" she asked while gently pushing him down into a chair and getting him a glass of water. She handed it to him with a shaky hand, her heart thudding in her chest.

Tristan ran a hand through his hair and took a sip of water before turning to his mother with a slight smile on his face. "I think everything is going to be fine Mom, I really do. He asked me if I was coming to the show and he didn't seem angry, just shocked, as was I. I didn't expect to run into him like that but I'm glad I did. He's amazing Mom, just like you always told me!" he said excitedly, barely stopping to take a breath. Jae smiled and breathed a sigh of relief but she couldn't ignore the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that things might not work out as well as Tristan hoped.

She glanced at her watch. "We better get downstairs. The show is about to start."

Mother and son walked into the VIP section located close to the stage.

Jae spotted Axelle and gently steered Tristan in that direction.

"Hey I was beginning to think you guys wouldn't show up!" she said with a laugh.

"No way Axelle, we wouldn't miss this for the world!" Tristan replied, still obviously excited. Axelle smiled at his enthusiasm.

She turned to look at Jae, noticing her pensive gaze. "What's wrong?" she whispered.

Jae's head snapped up. "Tristan ran into Kyo backstage. He knows now. Tristan is so excited about it because Kyo had a positive reaction to him and he thinks everything is going to be okay. But of course Kyo wouldn't direct his anger towards Tristan, he would direct it at me. As much as I'm trying to be positive and happy, I can't ignore this feeling that things will get worse before they get better, if they get better at all."

"Hey..." Axelle said softly as she grabbed Jae's arms turning her towards herself. "You deserve...all of you deserve to be happy and be a family. It will happen. I believe that and so does Tristan. When are you going to let yourself believe it too?"

"When it happens. Nothing in life is easy, at least not anything worth having."

Axelle let out an exasperated sigh. She is so stubborn. Of course so is Kyo. Maybe this won't work out as smoothly as I think. Her face twisted into a frown at the thought. No! It has to work out, it just has to. Her thoughts were interrupted when the crowd roared, signaling the band had taken the stage. She pushed everything to the back of her mind and focused on enjoying the show.

Kyo walked out onto the stage and scanned the crowd looking for his family. That felt so weird to think about, his family. His eyes landed on them and they both smiled at him. He felt a surge of pride and quickly put his fingers to his lips and threw a kiss in their direction. Tristan reached own and clasped his mother's hand in his own. The lights came up and the show began.

Kyo tried to push it down, but during the course of the show anger began to well up inside of him. He felt so betrayed. He knew he shouldn't be mad at Jae, it wasn't entirely her fault after all, but he couldn't help it. She was the one person he thought would never hurt him, but she did. He sliced menacingly across his skin, trying to distract himself from his emotional turmoil by means of physical pain.

Jae winced as she watched Kyo rip at his skin. She turned and found Tristan mirroring her expression. He glanced over at her and shook his head before turning his eyes down, refusing to watch. She followed suit, feeling as if every scratch he made on his body was also being made on hers.

The lights dimmed, casting the stage in an eerie shade of darkness with pinholes of light shining throughout. Kyo began singing -mushi- and his scratching became worse as tears cascaded down his cheeks. Tristan grappled for his mother in the darkness, wrapping his arms around her and turning to bury his face in the crook of her neck. Silent tears ran down her cheeks as she returned her son's embrace. Kyo chose this time to steal a glance at them and the sight that filled his eyes caused him to cry harder as he sang the last note of the song. He started stabbing his chest with the microphone repeatedly. Jae stole a glance at the stage and they locked eyes. She turned her eyes away quickly, guilt overcoming her. This is all my godamn fault. All of a sudden, the near silence was pierced by an anguish filled scream and then Kyo yanked his crate loose and hurled it backwards with such force that it almost bounced back and hit him. Kaoru and Toshiya stole quick glances at each other through the darkness, both of them clearly displaying their worry in their eyes. Shinya and Die shared a similar exchange, Die making sure Shinya wasn't hurt. Kyo fell to his knees, slumping down into a sitting position as he sobbed quietly. Jae signaled for a couple of the tech guys to shut the curtain, shielding the stage from view. She quickly made her way backstage with Tristan following closely behind. When she got around to the stage, she was stopped by Kaoru. She shot him a look and peered over his shoulder to see Hitomi comforting Kyo. She scowled.

"Tristan could you go get a bottle of water for Kyo?" Kaoru asked quietly.

The boy nodded and left in search for water.

"He's pissed" Kaoru said matter-of-factly.

"I know, he has every right to be."

"I just think it's best if we let Hitomi calm him down, at least so we can finish our encore then you two can talk afterwards."

Jae nodded and cast a forlorn look over Kaoru's shoulder. He pulled her into a hug, softly kissing her hair. Tristan returned with the water and handed it to a crew member, who in turn gave it to Kyo. After a few more minutes things got back on track and they were able to finish the show without any more problems.

Jae headed backstage to the dressing room while Tristan went to get some water for them. Kyo's wounds were being tended to by Hitomi. Everyone else was preoccupied as well so she knocked before walking through the doorway. "Hey guys." She offered a small smile.

Hitomi backed away and stood behind Kyo, as if she knew what was about to happen. Jae knew he was pissed but she had to make him understand. She walked further into the room until she was standing in front of him.

"How can you even show your face to me?!" he yelled.

"Kyo...I..."

"What?! You're sorry? You're sorry?! Is that supposed to fix everything? Because it doesn't. It doesn't even come close!"

"Kyo...please...just listen..."

"No! Shutup! Just shut the fuck up! I don't want to hear whatever lame ass bullshit excuse you have!" Jae's shoulders began to shake as she sucked in a breath. "You betrayed me! I trusted you, how could you do that to me?! Anyone else on this earth could have done it and I wouldn't have cared so long as you were beside me and honest with me. But then you had to go and fuck that up for me didn't you?! You weren't supposed to be like them, but you are. I loved you the most!" Jae began to sob violently, her entire body shaking with the action. "Stop crying! Don't shed tears for me! Your words are poison and your tears are venom, taking something beautiful and pure and turning it into something ugly!"

Tristan heard shouting as he was walking down the corridor and quickened his pace to a jog. coming to a halt once he reached the doorway to the dressing room. The sight that greeted his eyes angered him beyond belief. Kyo was yelling at Jae, saying awful, hateful things to her while she stood there, head bowed, sobbing uncontrollably. No one treated his mother like that, regardless of who the hell they thought they were. He strode across the room and came to stand between the two of them, pushing his mother behind him gently and shielding her from Kyo's harsh words with his own body. Kyo looked up into the eyes of his son, surprised to see that the anger there quite possibly rivaled that of his own.

Tristan spoke in a low voice, laced with the anger that he was barely keeping in control. "How dare you...how dare you speak to her that way! Who the hell are you, because you are not the man my mother always told me about. Why are you lashing out at her, because you're scared? You don't know anything about being scared. Being afraid your father will hate you and reject you even though you love and respect him more than anything. Being afraid he already has a family and that he doesn't want you to be a part of it. Being afraid that he will hate your mother even though the only thing you've ever wished for was that they would be together and happy and that you all could be a real family, despite the circumstances. No, Dad, I'm fairly certain you don't know the first thing about fear. I don't understand how you can have the audacity to blame Mom for everything. In case you've forgotten you broke your promise to her. You told her you would contact her and never did. How could you do something like that to her? Especially after everything she has done for you. She got you out of your home situation and you came to live with her, adopting her family as your own. And how did you repay her then? By breaking your promise and her heart. Yet her faith in you never wavered. She waited patiently as months turned into years. Before she knew it fifteen years had passed. Fifteen years and not a word from you, with nothing to console her but a son who fiercely loved a father he'd never met. You weren't there to defend her when other mothers at school called her a dirty American whore or when they looked down their noses at her because she was a single mother. I protected her then and I'm protecting her now. No one, and I mean no one, has the right to talk down to my mother and I won't tolerate it for one minute! So you can take your anger and your pain and all your other emotional baggage and get the fuck going with it because we have more than enough of our own to deal with." He turned slightly. "Come on Mom let's go home." He turned his back on his father and effortlessly picked his mother up in his arms and carried her bridal style towards the door. "Kao could you drive us home please?" he asked curtly.

"Yeah, of course" Kaoru replied shortly, still in shock of what happened. He walked towards the door.

Tristan cradled his mother's body to him and strode further away from his father with tempered footsteps, finally disappearing from sight followed closely by Kaoru. The rest of the band started gathering their things and departed quietly, leaving Kyo in the wake of his anger, and inevitably, his greatest mistake.