Show Me Love
Lost
Chapter 14:
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
Because I can’t hold on / when I’m stretched so thin
I make the right moves but I’m lost within
I put on my daily façade but then
I just end up getting hurt again
-Linkin Park
Billy’s Pov
Pain, its all I know. From the blazing torture that burns throughout my body to the agony that has become my mind. I know somewhere deep inside myself that I will never truly be the same again. I struggle to open my eyes and when I do I almost wish that I hadn’t, the low lights burning assault my eyes and the painful headache that beats behind my eyelids increases almost tenfold.
I hear someone’s deep even breathing somewhere near where I’m laying and for a moment a sliver of deep fear sends me into a fit. I feel a calloused hand gently touch my shoulder and I try to pull away.
“Hey calm down, no one’s going to hurt you.” That quiet smooth yet edgy voice that I know causes me to begin to sob, and I try so hard to find my voice. I look over and see him sitting there, worry and anger burning deep in his dark eyes.
“B…Benj?” I’m pulled gently into his warm arms and I know suddenly after the torment that I’d endured that I was safe.
“Ssshh love, I’m here. He’s not going to hurt you…I promise.” I’m trembling now, my body turned into that of a leaf in a windstorm, the shock finally catching up with me. I move to get off of the bed, suddenly ashamed of the state that I’m in. I bite my lip when the pain shoots through me when I stand, tasting blood and fighting to stay standing. Benji wraps his arms around my waist and I place my arm around his shoulders as he begins to lead me to the bathroom.
He pulls away from me, leaving me leaning against the wall as he goes to turn on the water. Turning, he looks at me with those eyes and I know that he might end up doing something to Matt that we’d both end up regretting. I reach out for him, touching his arm trying to stop those thoughts, I still need him, and he’s the only stable thing in this turbulent world that my life has become.
“Don’t…whatever you’re thinking about, please don’t go through with it.” He says nothing as he leaves the room, closing the door behind him. I sigh and weakly move to get into the shower.
~*~~**~~*~
So say goodbye to the vows you take.
And say goodbye to the life you make.
And say goodbye to the hearts you break.
And all the cyanide you drank.
-My Chemical Romance
Benji’s Pov
I stand outside of the bathroom for a moment leaning against the door, listening to the shower run and Billy’s semi-silent sobbing. I know that something needs to be done, yet I also know that any action I take right now probably wouldn’t be the best and I just might lose Billy for it. Sighing I walk back into his old room only one thing on my mind.
I strip the bed quickly, wadding the sheets up and I grab the bloody sleep pants before I leave the room, shutting the door and vowing that I’d get a new lock for it later on. While I’m going downstairs I hear the bathroom door open and close and footsteps moving toward our bedroom.
Walking out into the backyard I drop what I’m carrying in the center of the yard and turn to go back into the house for the lighter fluid, a lighter and the pack of cigarettes, the latter for myself and to light it all, when I see Billy standing in the doorway holding everything I need. I soak the fabric quickly before lighting two cigarettes and throwing one into the sheets watching as it all begins to burn.
I walk over to one of the lawn chairs on the patio and sit down with the other cigarette when I see Billy still standing in the doorway, motioning for him I pull him carefully into my lap and share the smoke with him, watching the burning material under the moonless sky.
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Star: Now that these chapters are posted the work starts again......If anyone has any ideas that they wish to see happen here don't hesitate to review, hell you may just see your ideas come to life