Baby Can I Hold You

'She four?'



'Yes'



'And she's mine?'



'Yes' Kelly sat in the car gripping onto Carries mobile phone, Flicking though picture after picture of Elle Carrie had taken over the past eleven days. Carrie had told Kelly all about Elle and how amazing the little girl was. Kelly for her part had sat silently listen, taking it all in. 'But I didn't want kids'



'I know.....you told me when we met......You thought you would be too selfish' Carrie kept her eyes on the road, they were almost there.



'Am...am I a good mom?' Carrie struggled to hear what Kelly had said. ' I mean I had a reason to believe I wouldn't be any good as a mom........but am I a good mom......does she love me' Kelly looked back down at the phone.



'I've never seen a little girl that's so in love with her mommy.......Your her whole world......and she's yours.......The minute she was born you dropped everything. For the first year the only time you sang was when you were putting her to bed..........Your really amazing with her Kel.....don't doubt that.' Kelly smiled.



'Thank god for that.... I don't think I could afford the therapy bill.' Carrie knew she was only making a joke of it cause she was scared. They were about ten minutes away from Carrie's sisters and ten minutes away from Elle.



When they pulled up into the drive Carrie spotted Elle standing by the window waiting for them to arrive. Kelly saw her too, she watched as the little girl jumped up and down before disappearing from the window. She quickly reappeared at the front door still jumping up and down on the spot.



'She's very active.' Carrie nodded in agreement. ' I don't know if I can get out the car......I can't feel my legs.' Carrie hadn't seen that coming, Kelly had been completely calm through the whole car journey.



'She's nothing to be afraid of.' Carrie slipped her hand over Kelly's ' If you stay in the car any longer she'll just come in here and get you.' As if like magic Elle made her way towards the car getting in Carries side.



'You ran down the stairs didn't you.' Elle tried her best to sound grown up. Carrie said you fell down the stairs....it's cause you ran didn't it......and then your brain fell out' Carrie watched Kelly try not to smile.



'We've had this talk Elle....Your Uncle Jason was only joking.' Carrie turned to Kelly. ' You don't let Jason have her alone......She comes back a little confused.' Kelly nodded like Carrie was serious.



'I use the bad words with Uncle Jason.' Elle climbed from Carries knee to Kelly's. ' I missed you mommy........I thought you forgot about me.' Only Carrie and Kelly knew the realism of Elle's words.



'Like I could forget about you.' Kelly left a small kiss on Elle's head.



A few hours of Playing with Elle and learning little things a mother should know it was time for bed. Ashley had called in a panic when she found the apartment empty when she got back. Few heated words and a promise from Carrie she would be OK Kelly hung up to put Elle to bed.



'So my sister only has the one guest room........we might have to bunk together.... or if you want to sleep in here alone with Elle I can stay in my sisters room' Carrie really hoped Kelly wanted her to stay.



'What no.... you need to stay...what if she needs you.'



'Then I'll stay.' Carrie helped Elle into the bed before climbing into it next to her. Kelly stood at the bottom playing with her pj top nervously. 'Can't sleep standing up kel.' Carrie patted the bed for her to get in. She did so staying as far away from Elle and Carrie as she could.



'Do I smell or something mommy?'



'What no....why?' Elle shrugged.



'Your so far away.....thought I might smell.' Kelly suddenly realised how silly she was being, pulling herself closer to Elle she felt the little girl wrap her body around her own. She lay stiffly until she felt the little girl relax into a deep sleep. Looking over at Carrie she realised the blonde had fell asleep too. Laying silently in the dark Kelly tried, she really tried her best to remember something, she ran her hand over Elles head. Feeling her soft hair, the way it curled round her finger. She remembered what she had told Carrie earlier in the day, she thought back, what Carrie had told her.



'Carrie?...... Carrie?' Kelly whispered into the dark trying her best not to wake Elle. Nudging Carries arm she felt the blonde move.



'mmm what....what's wrong?' Carrie lifted her head.



'Nothing.....you were right though.....that empty feeling I was having today.....it's gone.' Carrie watched Kelly snuggle closer into Elle before closing her eyes.