Gone to soon

2.

The funeral was breathtaking.
I thought it was just the way you would have wanted it to be.

Oh, Ville, you shouldn´t have done this to me!
But who Am I?
That I can judge over you?
I have to take it as it is.
No matter how hard it will be.

Now I´m sitting here.
In my room again.
Lily will be here in two hours.
The radio plays far away .
The DJ seems to know the mood I´m in.
He starts off with a wonderful „My heart will go on“ by Celine Dion.
I cannot really say that I´m a fan of this music, but it fits my mood now too well.

God, you are gone!
My heart still is breaking.
My eyes hurt already of all the tears I cried.
God, why do you only know how you need someone when it´s too late?
We should treat each other better!
Life is too short!
God, just a breath and we all are years older.
Time is just a word.
Time is too short.
Is our life really just about thinking of how to live?
We live our lifes so unhealthy thinking about our exestencelism problems that even the healthminister has to be informed!

The radio DJ now turns to INXS „Never tear us apert“....
....Yes, we all have wings, and some of us don´t know why....
Oh, Ville, the words you´d said hurt my soul.
We were both in love and noone dares to tell each other the truth!
Now see to what kind of end it led!
As I said!
Life is soo short!
We all had to treat each other better and we shouldn´t hide behind our feelings.

Even though words can hurt more than violence.

Ville....
I miss you....

New song.
„Tears in heaven“ by Eric Clapton.

I´m crying uncontrolable.
My whole body is shaking.
Longing.
For you.
Oh, Ville...

What should I do?

It is so irrelevant for me to understand that I will never ever see your face again.
That your beautiful figure will never ever appear in front of me, crawling deliciouilsy around amps or what ever.

I cannot understand this!
It will take weeks before I will realise your death!

It almost drives me mad!
Not to see you anymore.

You!
Torn apart by the cold earth.
Six feet below me!

A pianosolo reaches my ear.
I´m still sobbing, I can´t really make it out.

„We are so young....“

Tears hurt my cheeks so bad, salt already made my skin burn.

There! A light!
An idea!
Simple!
Why didn´t I do it earlier!
Sometimes songs have a total calming reaction to you.

I headed out of the room.

„We´re so anxious to be together...“

I went to the living room again.
Sat down on the couch.
So unreal calmed down by sudden.

„It´s none of your kind
And my wrists are open wide for you
Turning fatal (...)
Just to be with you
And there is no way now
No way we can lose
But before life tears us apart now
Let death come to you

Won´t you die tonite for love?
Baby join me in death...“


I will, Ville....

The end.