Baby Can I Hold You

' Why are you mad at Auntie Carrie mommy?' Kelly and Elle lay snuggled up together in her bed.



'It's grown up stuff baby.'



'You always say that......Then you spend a lot of time acting like a baby.........Why did you shout at Auntie Carrie?' Kelly let out a sigh, she couldn't believe how alike her and her daughter were. Both never knew when to stop asking questions.



'Your Auntie Carrie did something wrong...and when someone does something wrong they should be shouted at.'



'What she do wrong?........bought the wrong food for dinner cause I picked that...you should be shouting at me.'



'No No baby.....it wasn't that.......what Auntie Carrie did was really bad and it's just for grown ups' Elle let out a sigh rolling away from Kelly.



'Daddy did bad things all the time and you didn't shout at him....' Elle closed her eyes.



'Elle baby.' Kelly sat up turning on the light. ' Elle what did you mean....what did daddy do?'



'I can't say....I don't want to make you sad again.' Elle turned, rubbing her eyes. 'Auntie Carrie said we have to make you happy now.'



'I know that baby.... I know...but I need to know the truth......You need to tell me things I can't remember.'



'Auntie Carrie wont get angry?'



'Course not baby......I don't think Auntie Carrie could ever get angry with you.' Kelly believed that, she could see Carrie loved the little girl with all her heart.



'Well daddy made you cry.' Elle was careful with her words.



'What do you mean he made me cry........was he mean?'



'Yep......he always shouted.'



'Did he shout at you?'



'Only if I was bad.' Kelly nodded



'Has Carrie ever shouted at you?' Elle shook her head.



' Auntie Carrie doesn't shout.....she says you don't need to shout.' Kelly didn't know if she should believe Elle or not. She had to ask her the big question but she was afraid of the answer.



'Baby I want to ask you something and I want you to tell me the truth....Don't worry if it's bad or not....Mommy needs to know.' She waited till Elle fully understood. 'Did your daddy ever hurt us.....is that why I cried a lot?' Kelly watched a small tear run down Elle's cheek. Kelly picked the little girl up in her arms holding her close to her. 'It's OK baby....it's OK.....you don't have to tell me....I know now....I know.' Kelly rocked her daughter back and forth feeling her tears drop onto her arm. Kelly knew now whatever she was remembering was wrong, her mind was mixed up. When Kelly felt that Elle had fallen asleep she stopped rocking. Laying her little girl down she sat beside her watching her carefully. Kelly knew her daughter had witnessed a lot in her four young years, more than Kelly could imagine. Gently kissing Elle on her head Kelly stood up making her way towards Carrie's bedroom. Standing outside the door for a few minutes Kelly really didn't know what she would say to Carrie, sorry didn't seem enough. She still felt that Carrie had been the one who beat her but Elle told her the truth. Kelly entered the dark room, she could see Carrie cuddled up in her bed, covers wrapped around her neck. The covers moved up and down showing Kelly that Carrie was fast asleep. Making he way towards the bed Kelly sat on the edge her hand resting gently on Carrie's thigh. The moment her hand connected Carrie woke up.



'Kelly?....what's wrong....where's Elle.' Carrie threw question after question as she sat up and put on the light.



'she's asleep....'That's all Kelly could say. One look at Carrie and she burst out crying. Carrie thought fast gripping onto Kelly she pulled her into the bed with her.



'Shh....it's OK it's OK......I'm not going to hurt you.' Kelly lifted her head from Carrie's shoulder.



' I know you won't......God Carrie im so confused.....my ..my minds so confused.' Carrie pulled Kelly back into her arms.



'We'll get through this I promise...things will get better......' Carrie rocked Kelly back and forth just as Kelly had done to Elle a few minutes before, allowing Kelly to fall asleep in her arms.