Right Kind Of Wrong

Something has shifted from the make up room to the stage, I don't know what it is but all three judges are acting weird. Nothing different about Paula but the moment we all met up on stage to sit down they each gave me a look. I tried to get Simon's attention but he refused to look at me. The moment Ryan announced Carrie's name and she began to sing all three judges turned to look at me. Something was defiantly up. I turned my focus back on Carrie to listen to her singing a Janis Joplin song, to me anything this girl does is amazing but I can see by Simon's face that she's doing something wrong in his book. I watch as her body moves to the music, she's dancing a little but I can tell that she's uncomfortable with this. It's not effecting her voice but for her movements I can see that something is wrong with her. Maybe I'm reading to much into it, I can't sit here and pretend to know her cause I don't. I've spent a few hours with her over the past few months, we may have shared a few secrets but what do I really know about the girl. The music stops and she turns to us, she's not looking at me though, her eyes are focused on Simon.

'Listen....'Randy begins. 'It's hard to do a Janis Joplin song.........you know what I'm saying...It's really hard......It was just OK for me........It wasn't the best that you've done.........' I look away from Randy and see Carrie swallowing the lump in her throat, she's trying hard not to let his words effect her. 'Your changing who you are to show people that you can do a rock song......I still love when you do the country stuff........It was just alright for me............' I have to look back to Randy, he catches my eye but quickly looks down at the table.

'Carrie that wasn't believable for me.......'they are all going to do it to her, I can see it in Paula's eyes. 'I love what you do.........but this wasn't my favourite...........' These aren't Paula's words, she's uncomfortable saying them.

'Carrie within a week......'And here he comes, the ring master. 'I'll tell you the problem.......we loved you last week........the problem with this performance.....it was....what a local cover band would do.........'That's hurt her, she's just like the other contestants, Simon's opinion is the only one that matters. 'You didn't look comfortable up there........you lost some star quality tonight..........' She's nodding like she agrees with him but I know she doesn't, she can't, they are all talking crap. 'Very.....very disappointing........' All three look to me and I know what they want. I know all three have got together and practised this little ambush on live tv.

'Well I don't know what these three were listening to but I thought that was great.......' Simon body stiffens beside me. ' Your performance was fun and I loved it............' Ryan quickly pulls Carrie away from us and begins talking to the camera. This leaves me and being looked at by Simon and his little lap dogs.

'We need to talk Kelly........'Randy's the brave one who talks first.

'I have nothing to say.........'On the outside I'm the picture of calmness but on the inside I'm falling apart. It's clear that they all now know about my little crush on Carrie, which also means they know I'm gay. The idea of Paula knowing I'm gay is filling me with all kinds of dread.

…......................................................

The director let's us know the shows over and Simon jumps from his seat and out the doors towards the dressing room. Randy and Paula stay seated waiting for me to make the first move.

'I still don't have anything to say..............' and I don't, they aren't important, There's only one person I want to talk to right now.

I find Simon sitting in my dressing room waiting for me, his face is flushed red and I don't know if it's anger or embarrassment.

'Kelly......' he jumps up when he sees me. ' I swear that wasn't me............'

'What part wasn't you Simon.,.........that you all ganged up on Carrie.......'

'Kelly.....' he stops me talking. ' Randy heard you and Carrie talking before the show.........he just wanted to test you.........'

'Test me?.,.....'Now I was angry. 'You put that poor girl through that to test me?........'

'Kelly I warned you to back off from her..........'

'Back off......an hour ago you were laughing about how Carrie would love this........'I wave my hand over myself. 'make up your mind.........'

'Kelly teasing and flirting is one thing..........Randy made it clear that there was something more going on with you two.............'

'There is nothing going on with us...................You could have ruined her......' He pulls away from me in shock.

'It was just a test Kelly.......'

'Simon you know how must the public listen to you........ She could be out after this... and she wasn't even bad.......' I've made my point with him, I hold open the door and wait for him to leave.

'Kelly.....'

'Leave Simon.......' He does as he's told this time and I slam the door hard behind him.

….........................................

By the time I've took of my make up and put on a pair of jeans and top that actually fit me it's past midnight and almost everyone but the security team have left, even Ashley gave up hours ago. I would be lying of I said I wasn't waiting around to see if Carrie made another appearance at my door but she didn't, I even had a look around the dressing rooms for her but there was no sign of her. The night guard helped me out the door with my bags and when we turned towards the car park he stopped causing me to bump into him.

'Miss Clarkson I think a fan might be waiting for you............' I peak round his shoulder to see Carrie leaning against my car. 'Want me to get rid of her for you?...........'

'That's ok Jake I've got it from here........' He reluctantly gives me my bags and walks away.

'I need a drink...........'It's the first thing she says to me when I get to my car, she takes my bags from my hand and sighs. 'A big drink............'

'You were on TV tonight I don't think going to a bar will be the best idea.......' She looks so sad just standing there. She looks like she's gave up.

'I don't want to go back to that house with the rest of them...........'She admits with a shaky voice.

'You can come back with me.....' I whisper.' if you want......' I add quickly. She stands there thinking about it before moving towards the passenger door.

'As long as you have Vodka..........'

'Whisky.......'

'That'll do..........' She climbs into the car leaving me standing outside looking at her. Once again she's surprised me with her up and down personality.