Random, You're My Hero

We pull up in front of a small townhouse. It really wasn't much to look at, but I sure as hell felt more comfortable here than any place since I'd woken up in that stark white hospital room.

Bam climbs out of his car, and without saying a word, pulls a set of keys out of his jacket pocket and heads towards the house. After opening the door, he turns around and looks expectantly at me. Realising I was still in his car, I leapt out and walked past him through the door.

There was a definite 'male' smell in the air, mail piled up on the floor inside the front door and a warm familiar feeling. I let out a sigh of contentment and walk further into the house, allowing Bam to close the door.

"My mum did some food shopping for you yesterday, so you should be sweet for a while if you don't wanna go out or anything. There's also your favourite beer which the guys got for you, and I've left my number by your phone.... but I don't think anyone's paid the bill so... ahh fuck it, take my phone, it's got my home number in it just don't fuckin' lose it, k?"

Staring at him blankly, I noticed his uncomfortable rambling had ceased and I just nodded.

"Well....I ....uh... s'pose I'll leave ya to it? call me if you need anything? seriously ANYTHING. call me and I'll come". He hesitantly leant forward and before I knew it, his lips were on mine. Stumbling backwards, I didn't know what to say to him, I just stared.

"Oh geez. I... uh... I'm gonna go, see ya?" handing me a set of keys and practically sprinted out the door. I stood there, dumbfounded, for who knows how long before my stomach let out an almost violent rumble and I set out in search of, well I suppose, MY kitchen.

---*

A week past since Bam had dropped me home and I spent the time getting to know my way around the house. I had spent the first two days cleaning the inch-thick grime from almost every surface in my house, and I could safely assume the old me wasn't bothered by dirt or mould in the slightest. Once my living conditions could (barely) pass a health inspection, I spent a ridiculous amount of hours absorbed in daytime soap operas, stupid yet addictive, or just wandering around my block getting to know my surroundings. I'd sometimes get small waves from people driving past, and people on the sidewalk would come and ask where the hell I'd been. All I could do is just play along and make up some excuse to get away as soon as possible. I didn't know these people, and it was quite frightening to not know these people as well as they seemed to know me... well, the old me.

I began to wonder if I could just move somewhere where no one knew me, somewhere I could completely start afresh. But I also had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to stay.

---*

After a week and a half alone in an empty house, I was sitting rigid on my couch, one knee bouncing, staring at Bam's mobile. A part of me wanted to call him, ask him if he wanted to hang out. I desperately needed human interaction. But the other part of me was hesitant after the way we'd parted last time I saw him.

I scroll through the address book down to 'H' figuring he'd have the number stored under “home”. Not finding it, I frowned in confusion. “What else could he have it under?” I muttered in frustration. I scroll up to 'B' to see if he had it under his own name, but nope, not there either. It was then I notice an entry under “Castle”. Intrigued, I look at the photo that accompanied it and again that warm feeling washed over me. Bam would be there.

---*

After thanking April for the food, Bam finally came to the phone and agreed to take me out, apparently to my favourite drinking hole. When I finally heard the sharp knock on my door I had to resist the urge to run to the door, my need for human contact so strong and my weird desire to keep close to Bam like a bad smell almost embarrassing.

“Hey Ry....wait, what's that smell?!” Bam asked with a confused expression.

“What do you mean, what's that smell? Do I smell bad or something?!” I asked, trying to hide my sudden fear.

Bam laughed “Nah, man it's cool. Your place just smells... clean. It has NEVER smelt clean.”

My sigh of relief so loud that I swear my neighbour probably heard it loud and clear “Yeah, well obviously I wasn't the cleanest person in the world, and I've had some spare time of late...”

“C'mon, let's get out of here before you give me the gory details.” Bam laughed, slapping his arm around my shoulders, almost painfully, and directing me out of the house.

---*

Ryan had a great time that night. He liked the bar, and surprisingly enjoyed the company of the 'crew'. At around 2am he and a very sloshed Bam headed back towards his place in a taxi with Bam muttering incoherently and sneaking glances at Ryan when he thought he wasn't looking. Ryan didn't mind so much, as he had been doing basically the same thing all night long.

After tossing an unknown amount of cash towards the driver, both he and Bam stumbled not-so-gracefully towards the door and began giggling when it took almost 10 minutes for Bam to get the key into the door while Ry slumped on the steps of his house.

“C'mon fucktard, it's f-ing cold out here” Bam slurred, practically dragging Ryan up the stairs and into the warmth of the house. Pushing him into his room, Bam pushed him onto his back on his bed and began to undress him.

“What're you doin'?” Ryan asked hesitantly

“You're not gonna sleep in jeans, dude. That's just not right.”

Ryan really didn't feel like arguing against what seemed reasonable logic, almost surprised Bam was able to think clearly in his state, plus he felt ready to fall asleep and lacked the energy to help himself in any way what so ever.

Without further thought, Ryan fell into a drunken slumber.

---*

He woke up the next morning, head aching, warmth draped across his chest and wetness on his neck.

“What the...” Ryan struggled to open his eyes, the light being too bright, but once he managed it he could clearly see a mop of brown curls on his chest. Without wanting to embarrass himself or Bam, he gently slid out from under the sleeping man and headed towards the bathroom for a shower figuring that by the time he was done, Bam would be awake and they could have breakfast together...

“As friends... we're only friends..” Ryan muttered to himself.

He stood in the shower, completely ignoring his need to wash himself, still reeking of alcohol from the previous night and having drool on his neck, instead contemplating his situation. He knew there could have been more to his and Bam's relationship before what happened to him, yet he wore a ring and Bam had avoided talking about it at all costs, which frustrated Ryan. At least he now knew he didn't have a wife, but what did he have with Bam? and why didn't Bam want it anymore?

Shaking these thoughts out of his head, he quickly washed himself and stepped out of the shower. Determined to just enjoy the way things seemed to be heading, Not even fazed at the thought he might be gay, it just felt... natural, he headed back towards the bedroom to see if Bam was awake.