FALLEN

Chapter 29

Things were running smoothly and I abouabout a month away from some long needed vacation time. Chereese and I had been hanging out rather often. Taking turns cooking dinner. My feet were starting to swell badly and standing up wasn’t working out for me. I was making progress at work but I hated it. I could see right off that I wouldn’t be doing it for long. I had enough on my mind to be worried about some damn slogans. My house was in order and Shennet wanted to stay with me forever. She had gotten so hooked on me. One day her mom asked her why she liked me so much. She told her I was the candy lady. I thought that was so cute. I had been spoiling her to death. I was buying two of everything. One night Chereese came home from work I was sitting with Shennet and told me about a little club not to far away where they held poetry readings so one night when the baby what with her daddy we went over. It was a nice little spot, reminded me a lot of the hotel lounge where Vin and I first danced. I listened to the poets eager to perform.

That night when I went home I couldn’t help but think of how lonely I was. I was thinking of the first reading I went to in LA with Vin. Him sitting close to me, the lights were dim. Him sitting next to me with has arm draped across the back of my chair. His cigarette burning in the ash tray. The way he gently kissed me when Lady Jade read her love poem. I go into the hallway closet on an impulse and pull out a box, his box. Taking it into the living room I open it up. Inside were a few T-shirts he left at my house. Sweat pants a pair of running shoes, a book, a toothbrush, a bottle of cologne and his anniversary gift we never exchanged. His things still smelled like him. I sprayed some of his cologne into the air, "I miss him so much." I think to myself. I throw it back into the box. Softly sobbing I decided to call someone to take my mind off of him. I need to here a familiar voice. I called Electra.

"Hello," I heard her voice on the other end.

"Hi, It’s Keshia." "Hey hon. How are ya?"

"Fine just feeling a little alone."

"Is everything all right."

"Sure everything is fine. Went to a club tonight that held poetry readings. I did a short piece. I did Vin’s piece."

"Awe, I am so sorry sweetie," she says as she hears my tears over the phone. I wish you didn’t have to go through this. Why don’t you just call him tell him."

"I can’t. I gotta go Elec. I will call you tomorrow k."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I am sure. Take care," I say hanging up the phone.

Talking on the phone wouldn’t do. It only made me think of him more to call Electra and the little piece of him that I had inside of me would always be a reminder.

 I go into the bathroom and start to run a warm shower. From e I e I take a stroll into the kitchen and make me a cup of tea. I look over at the box sitting on the coffee table. It’s like I can’t take my mind off it. After I take a shower, I put on my robe, walk into the living room a grab a T-shirt in and a pair of sweat pants. I sit down on the side of the bed and slowly began to dress in his clothes. Some how as the fabric touched my skin it made me feel closer to him. I stand in the mirror and examine myself, his clothes still fit me loosely. The sweat pants even when pulled up over my belly still were to long. I slip the watch over my hand and it slides down to my forearm. I adjust it to see if I could get a smaller fit but no such luck. I take it off and put it back in the box. Standing in the mirror looking at myself I start to cry. How had I gotten myself into this situation? Why did he leave me. How am I going to do this one my own? I dive into the bed and I cry myself to sleep and wake up to another sunny day in Miami.