The Secrets Between us

"Carrie dear there's nothing to worry about....don't look so scared." Jeanne and Carrie were both sitting in the doctors waiting room waiting for their turn.



"I know it's just like before.....but its just......well she's not here to enjoy this......." Jeanne smiled understand what she meant.



"there will be plenty more doctor appointments she can be at.......and not to sound a little selfish I'm sort of happy she's not here..........it means I get to enjoy this moment with you."



"im happy your here to Jeanne....I really don't know what I would have done without you and Kelly being there........I couldn't do this alone."



"im sure you could have Carrie......your alot stronger than you make out you are.......but i understand what you mean.......its nice to share these things with people."



"yeah i just wish my mom was like you Jeanne.......I cant believe my baby wont have its grandma around."



"well I know im not going to be related to this baby by blood....but i do hope i can fill in alittle where your mother cant........i understand if you dont want your baby to think of me as its grandma but i want to be there for it....."



"oh Jeanne...no.....I didn't mean it like that......of course your going to be its grandma and its going to call you grandma...I wouldn't want it any other way I just mean ive thought of this moment for a long time i always seen my mother there......teaching my kids how to cook and reading to them........just like she did with me when i was little......she had such hopes for me when i was young. she would always talk about my husband and my kids and how she would always be there for me......she had a lot of dreams for me.....now it wont happen." Carrie tried to keep herself calm, she had promised Kelly before she left she wouldn't get herself or the baby upset by thinking about things to much. Kelly had promised her everything would be fine and things would get easier,she hoped she was right.



"listen dear....when you would think of how your life would work out and how your mother would be there with you?"



"what do you mean?"



"well who would be helping you make these babies?" Carrie turned to Jeanne with a confused look on her face.



"I guess it would be my husband."



"and who would that be?"



"well when I was 13 I always thought it would be johnny depp...but well hes married now and has kids of his own,plus hes alittle old for me now...." Jeanne couldn't help but laugh at Carrie's rambling.



"no dear......your husband would be a man right.?"



"well yeah....why?"



"so you never seen my daughter in this future.....helping you make these babies?" Carrie shook her head not really knowing what Jeanne was getting at. "things dont work out how we like honey............Kelly's going to be there in your future raising this baby and any others you decide to have....its not some man helping you......what we dream when we are kids and what our parents want never really comes true......well unless your both American idols but that's another point.......what im trying to say Carrie is your baby wont miss out on a thing......it will have all the love in the world........the person missing out will be your mother......you cant change her mind and worrying about it wont help anyone.......so my advice dear is put it to the back of your mind and get on with your life........when your mother realises she's being a complete ass you'll hear from her." Carrie didn't answer Jeanne, she knew the older woman was right.from now on her family was the Clarksons she knew her baby was lucky to have them.





...................................................................





Kelly sat in the small room watching Ashley from the corner of her eye, the brown haired make up artist was busy ironing Kelly dress.



"So its Carries second scan today.......moms taking her." Kelly watched Ashley nod her head before looking back down to the iron."yeah it will be another pic to add to the collection.......i gave you a copy of the baby scan right?"



"yeah kel....wallet size.....got it in my purse right now." Kelly smiled walking up to Ashley.



"good cause you know your going to be this babies aunt......I mean someone's going to have to teach this kid how to be cool."



"yeah god knows both its mothers are complete dorks."



"hey Carrie's not a dork....I know I am....but I think ive picked a cool person to love."



"yeah Kel Carrie is very cool."



"we cant really pick who we fall in love with can we.....I wouldn't care if she was a dork she's still mine."



"I guess..." Kelly watched Ashley with her one word answers. She knew Carrie had been right,she had just been to wrapped up in her own problems to see her best friend had been hurting.



"thanks for being here Ash........I don't think I could have coped without you.......remind me to return the favour when you need it........"Kelly was trying hard to get Ashley to open up but could see her friend really didn't want to,Kelly didn't want to push so decided to drop it.she would tell her in her own time.





..................................................





"so she just closed up on you.....gave you nothing." Carrie lay across Kelly's bed,she and Jeanne had just arrived home from the doctors.



"yeah.....car she's hurting so bad......guess she doesn't want me knowing though.....maybe she think I would take Jason's side,which i wouldn't do...she's my best friend and he's an ass for dumping her."



"your not mad that they lied to you for so long......?"



"how can i be....i was doing the same to them with you"



"guess so...wonder why they lied in the first place.."



"god knows.......anyway tell me some good news.......what did the doctor say..."



"nothing new really......babies doing well......got you some new pictures..i think the doctor was to afraid not to give you any.......my next appointment will be in 8 weeks......you'll be home for that right."



"8 week of course Car.........im hoping to be home by the end of the week."



"why dont you know an exact date.......its so unusual not to know what your doing day by day."



"i think this is Clives way of getting his own back.....he keeps adding new things on to each day......management here are going crazy at him." Kelly heard Carrie sigh.



"Kelly I wish he would just leave us alone.......what the hell is his problem."



"baby calm down......hes just annoyed that we arent his little puppets......he'll leave us alone soon enough"



"hope so......mmm god Kelly I wish I could kiss you right now." Carrie rolled over onto her back.



"me too baby......wish I was laying right next to you.......kissing you....holding you in my arms."



"don't tease me Kel.."



"im not baby...I just want you to know what I feel......these feelings are so strong Car......."Kelly lay her back against the headboard of her hotel bed.



"I know that feeling Kelly......it kills me not to be next to you.....plus being pregnant seems to bring out these feelings even more."



"do I make you horny baby."



"I knew you would do the Austin powers........why do we ruin every romantic moment we have?"



"sorry baby that one's my fault.......but seriously being pregnant gives you extra needs?"



"nice turn of phrase...but yes every things a little extra these days." Carrie lay silently waiting for Kelly next question,she knew Kelly wouldn't let it go there."



"so with everything being alittle extra and me not being there...how are you coping without me.?"



"im not answering that Kelly.....and you cant make me."



"so by not answering me would mean you do?" Carrie could feel her cheeks burning at Kelly's questions.



"I don't know what your talking about...."



"oh my god you do.....and with my mother in the house....damn I thought you were a good girl." Kelly waiting for Carrie to answer but got nothing."so now your ignoring me......do you do it in my bed?"



"yes"



"yes what.....yes you do it in my bed.."



"yes."Carrie wasn't saying anything but that.



"wow....that's hot.....did I embarrass you?"



"yes." Kelly couldn't help but laugh.



"you hate me now?"



"yes"



"well I love you do you love me?"



"yes."



"when I get back will you show me exactly what you do while your in my bed alone?"



"NO.......Just forget about it OK......there are some things that shouldn't be talked about....and this is one of them."



"fine I'll let it go for now.....but we will talk about this again."



"anyway... I better go....your mothers cooking me dinner....she thinks I need to put weight on....I told her the baby is doing that for me but she wont listen."



"just do as your told...she knows what to do to keep you both healthy till I get back......."



"yeah yeah....you leave me here bare foot and pregnant while you tour the world and you get to tell me what to do....where's the fair in that"



"when I get back you can tell me what to do...OK?....but for now be a good girl....love you baby."



"love you too......call me tonight OK?"



"sure I wont be interrupting your alone time in my bed?"



"bye Kelly." Kelly let out a laugh.



"bye Carrie."