Right Kind Of Wrong

I just don't understand why we have to go through all this, I mean it's just a waste of time. We all know she's going to win, why not just finish the show early. And that way she can be my girlfriend. My very confused wants to be straight but really is gay girlfriend. Who won't want to kiss or even touch me girlfriend. Oh I am going crazy, I'm sitting here on live TV day dreaming about a closeted lesbian. Which is what I am too, well the doors open to the closet but no one knows I'm in it. I'm at the back with the winter coats. OK Kelly focus Ryan's talking.

'And next up tonight is Carrie Underwood..........' Is it bad that I only seem to be focusing on her performances and I don't even remember the rest of the contestants names. How come someone so perfect have so many talents. She's singing and she has my full attention even if the thought of her singing our kids to sleep is running though my mind, I don't even want kids. Oh she's finished.

'Alright Carrie.......' Randy starts. 'How you doing Carrie.....you alright......'

'I'm OK........' she's got her nervous laugh going.

'I do think your one of the best girls in this competition.................' That's right dog boy make sure your nice to her this time. 'But it wasn't your best performance..........but I do love your voice and im still down with you...............' He looks at me out the corner of his eye like he's afraid or something.

'I agree with Randy..........'Of course you do Paula. 'Your vocals are there.....but the fun and the glory that is you needs to come back.....you need to have some fun........' What the hell does that mean. I look at Simon and I know he's thinking the same thing.

'Carrie......'Be nice Simon or im getting my mother. ' I knew you would be here......i think you will be in the final.....i don't think anything we say will change the viewers minds about you.....i believe you will get through tonight and I believe you will be in the final........what I will say is.. your coming off a little old fashioned............'

'But I am........' She giggles shyly.

'Well I know you are.......' I look at Simon and he's smiling, she's winning him over. 'And it's part of your charm.........i need you to connect with a good song.......I'm just waiting for your good song.........it's really pointless me saying anything cause I know your getting through..........' OK my turn.

'I'm a big fan of country.........and you do that so well.........'Plus you really do look good up there. ' and I agree with Simon I know you will be in the final...........' even if I have to get Ashley to phone in a thousand times a night.

….................................

'You done well.......really good......very......'

'OK Simon stop sucking up to me.....i forgive you........' He's been hanging around me since we finished the show, I know he's sorry but god he's annoying.

'So you want to go get a drink or something......maybe something to eat.......'she acting like he's asking me out on a date.

'Why are you so nervous?........' I ask him with a laugh.

'Just hungry......so food?.......'

'Actually I really just wanted to finish up here and go home......' and hopefully Carrie will be on my bed waiting for me again.

'She's been taken back to the hotel by the production team.........'he's a mind reader. 'she's in the final twelve now.............they are letting her go home for a few days..........' That's why he's all shifty.

'You just shipped her off........'

'She's going home to see her family Kelly........'

'She would have wanted to say goodbye to me........'

'Kelly.....' he takes me by the arm into an empty dressing room. ' She didn't say goodbye to me Randy or Paula......why should she say bye to you.............' He lets his cool nature slip for a moment but it's back. 'So dinner........' I never realized how fake his smile really is.

'I'm going home …....Ashley will have dinner ready for me........you want to come......' He shudders and moves back.

'Night Kelly......' Take that as a no, I wait for him to leave the room before pulling out my phone. The production team will be all around her so a nice short text will do. Before I can even leave a message my phone beeps.

Sorry this has to be my goodbye, they say I need to be watched now. Now hurry home, I gave Ashley something for you. Care xx

I read the text twice before bolting to my car, don't want to seem desperate but well I am when it comes to her.